| Are you holding out for one person before accepting dates from others?
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:44:45 PM | I'm holding out for one guy to accept my invitation to meet. YES, I ASKED. We have emailed and chatted on the phone a couple times. Intuition tells me that should we meet, perhaps I won't want to meet anyone else... and maybe that's why I'm declining all the other offers for dates.
I have to be attracted to a person's personality and their overall look and since only one person has really caught my eye, I'm holding out for him. Anyone else out there doing the same? I can't possibly be the only one. | |
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| Are you holding out for one person before accepting dates from others?
Posted: 7/5/2008 12:14:47 AM | Yes I have, and when things didn't pan out, I was asked why I put all my eggs in one basket.
On the other hand I went out, and didn't wait while he was deciding when a meeting time was good for him. This doesn't mean I went out and then also slept with others, just went out and had coffee.
I don't think there is any right or wrong, because no matter what you do, someone will tell you, you are doing the wrong thing.
Midnight, you have to do what feels right and comfortable for you. As for the rest of us armchair shrinks, we don't live your life...
GOOD LUCK, hope it does pan out... | |
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| Are you holding out for one person before accepting dates from others?
Posted: 7/5/2008 12:34:45 AM | Thanks for the advice, what feels right to me is just to be patient... I'm in no hurry to go on 50 dates with other people if only 1 person has really moved me. Heck, I've been single for 5 years, what's another couple tacked onto that? LOL.
PS. THANK YOU ARMCHAIR SHRINKS!! | |
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| Are you holding out for one person before accepting dates from others?
Posted: 7/5/2008 12:40:55 AM | | Yes I am another one that is holding out for that special someone I have been talking to for a while and hoping it turns into something. I'd be devastated if I did accept a date with someone else and she found out and decided to not keep things going in the good direction they are already going and ultimately lost out on her. I can wait, I have this long, a bit longer can't hurt, that's for sure. | |
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~Kyn~
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Joined: 2/15/2008
Msg: 6 | |
| Are you holding out for one person before accepting dates from others?
Posted: 7/5/2008 12:53:26 AM | Honestly, I'd like to. I really, really want to have THAT type of attraction for someone on here, and just go, WOW, now that's the guy I surely would like to MEET in person!
Thats the only type of guy I WOULD meet from here.
I'd be devastated if I did accept a date with someone else and she found out and decided to not keep things going in the good direction they are already going and ultimately lost out on her.
Yup Im with mcbobly on that too (except reverse the sexes)
And actually thats one way I gauge a man's interest in me...cos a man who's really into a woman will wait to see what happens with her.
Its waaaaaay too hard to find somebody that REALLY blows you away like that.
I think people are idiots if they screw it up by getting involved with other people.
If these other people dont give you a WOW factor...who fricken cares if you pass them up in the meantime?
Eggs in the basket? ...so what?...they'll still be plenty of "eggs" around if things dont work out with the one you'd like. | |
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ils99
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Joined: 5/30/2008
Msg: 7 | |
| Are you holding out for one person before accepting dates from others?
Posted: 7/5/2008 2:06:39 AM | | Yup I sorta am going through the same phase as you are, with less guys to choose from obviously lol At the moment there's this particular guy who I'm really keen to meet in person etc, so I've put all the other guys "on hold" for the time being. So far, I can definitely say me and this guy share very similar interests and similar personalities. Besides, he's attractive- what more can I say? lol | |
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~Kyn~
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Joined: 2/15/2008
Msg: 9 | |
| Are you holding out for one person before accepting dates from others?
Posted: 7/5/2008 2:17:25 AM | Never spend all your time on one person online. Odds are they will disappear on you or it won't work out when you meet.
Im specifically speaking of meeting someone with a WOW factor here..
That could be (they disappear or it doesnt work out when you meet)...but atleast if that happens...its something beyond your control.
IF you're messing around with a heap of people though...and you jeopardise losing that WOW factor person...
How fricken stupid is someone gonna feel...when they've effectively deliberately screwed up something they didnt have to?
Too late after you've already done it.
JMHO
Cos for as easy as it is to click Next online and even in Real Life...its NOT that easy to find somebody special | |
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| Are you holding out for one person before accepting dates from others?
Posted: 7/5/2008 4:39:19 AM | Glad to know that I'm not alone in my thoughts. Why waste my own time with non-wow men when there is one wow that is probably loving the chase and pursuit. He's gorgeous, he's funny and our personalities are similar. Until he actually disappears, I'll just wait for the next step. This is like mind-f**king, but in a good intelligent way. 
Hmmmm, I wonder if he reads my posts... if so, yes, D.H its you I'm talking about. Its you that is my wow-factor guy. | |
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| Are you holding out for one person before accepting dates from others?
Posted: 7/5/2008 5:14:39 AM | sounds like you already have a marriage planned out for yourself and this other person. by holdning out to meet this one you might just be passing up on the one who will rock ur socks off. so say the 1 ur holdin out for might just be a big mistake maybe not to. live life like you want . but dont **** about it when it might fall to shit in the end . like so many others have.
y'all have awonderful day
wildman  | |
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| Are you holding out for one person before accepting dates from others?
Posted: 7/5/2008 5:27:30 AM | Yup! I'm holding out. That "WOW" doesn't happen often. When it does....I'm going to see it through until I know what can come of it.
As far as putting your eggs in one basket? I know I could never forgive myself if I screwed something up by dating others while waiting, ESPECIALLY if we both have a mutual understanding that we won't date or meet others.
I would rather see it through, and risk it not going the way I want, then never know what could have ever been... | |
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| Are you holding out for one person before accepting dates from others?
Posted: 7/5/2008 6:57:20 AM | 
Yep, I'm doing the same thing.......holding out and taking my time......eventually we'll be holding each other.
How could I be taken seriously if I did anything less than what I would want someone to do for me?
He moved me the moment I saw his face. It was his eyes and at that moment, I felt I wanted to see myself, in those eyes.
Had to stop and slap myself.
After reading his profile, I was to the point of being breathless, I read it again.
And again.....
There were so many emotions that surfaced.
Some I thought were gone and never to return.
Others I never knew existed and I scared myself.
I do not feel the need to have "spares" or "back ups" if things don't work out.
I'm not playing any games.
For me, going out with someone else, would mean, he wasn't the one I've been searching for.
He could not be the one, if I were still looking.
Before I can be true to anyone else, I must be true to myself.
It took a little while for me to contact him.
I had to get the courage to not only message him ........and to click the send button.......
I ask him if I could put him on my favorites list.........he was surprised and said I was the first one to ever ask.
I don't feel that dating is the correct thing for me to do.
Courting is what I desire.
As I measure my life, I've experienced many devastating things.
Top of my list is losing one of my children......nothing else in my life could ever be as horrible as that.
I know what I want, so I take a chance, reach out and in the end.........
I know I've tried and there are no "what ifs" for me to question myself about.
Absolutely everything starts in the mind..........for myself, this is the getting to know each other.
A waltz, slow and steady.
I may not get everything I want but I always, without fail, get what I need.
He fits into both categories.
ceeceekitty | |
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| Are you holding out for one person before accepting dates from others?
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:50:37 AM | I totally agree with you!
A friend of mine (DJ) was on here for a while, met what he thought was someone very special, but she was arranging dates left right & center. Ok suppose, but how can you see how things develop etc whilst seeing other guys. Am ok with it, but if you seeing someone 3 or 4 times whilst agreeing future meetings/dates, it seems a recipe for disaster.
He was pretty gutted and sort of gave up on this site/approach, removed his profile, after I told him she had agreed a date with me, whilst he was forward planning dates with her....Hence on my profile I've put no serial daters!!
Suppose if you throw enough mud some of it sticks!
Nice to know there are others with similiar views.
Stephen | |
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| Are you holding out for one person before accepting dates from others?
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:56:58 AM | Nope.
For a rather short period, that was the case. Then I realized how silly that concept was, and corrected my course. 
In terms of dating, I've stopped that totally to concentrate on other things, for the this part of my life. That should change in about six months or so, and then I'm back at the races again - this time hopefully for the last run at it.  | |
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| Are you holding out for one person before accepting dates from others?
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:19:57 AM |
I have to be attracted to a person's personality and their overall look and since only one person has really caught my eye, I'm holding out for him.
If he is the only one that has caught your eye, and you would be wasting yours and the other guys time than you should not meet the other guys. I dont think you should put all your eggs in one basket though, and get your hopes up too high. Just keep your options open, and in the meantime maybe someone else will catch your eye and mind. | |
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| Are you holding out for one person before accepting dates from others?
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:44:09 AM | I don't personally see how you can decide someone has a "wow" factor until you meet him or her in person. I have had too many experiences where I had high expectations and was completely let down on the meeting, for whatever reason.
One example was someone I met last spring - we had great, meanignful email conversations for a couple weeks - talked on the phone and everything seemed fine - she was even attractive in person, but just seemed weird and ill-at-ease, not smiling or making eye contact very often. She did loosen up after a couple glasses of wine - and I thought maybe it was just first date jitters - but it was the same was every time we got together, she was almost intolerable until she got a little alcohol in her, then she was OK.
So just don't get your hopes up until you actually meet - in person chemistry is not always as easy to achieve as it is online or on the phone. And of course we all know everone is so honest with their pics and profiles and the ones who keep putting off meeting are most likely the ones who will let you down in person. | |
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| Are you holding out for one person before accepting dates from others?
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:46:32 AM | | OP...why is he not willing to meet now? If he's putting you off and isn't firming anything up for a time then I'd assume they're using me and no, I wouldn't wait for them. If he's out of the country or has family commitments that sound real an dnot contrived, maybe. I wouldn't wait forever...I wouldn't allow him to play me like that. If he is then you don't have the WOW factor for him. | |
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| Are you holding out for one person before accepting dates from others?
Posted: 7/5/2008 11:11:17 AM | I only really try to progress with one person and that means everything. I don't really try to 'get to know' all these different people. If I feel someone is good enough that I would consider dating them, I wouldn't be looking elsewhere.
Now, if I have someone disappear on me and I don't hear a word from them then I'm going to be moving right along because I don't play that game. I don't feel that I'm wasting my time at all with that, sure, it's a slap in the face, but did I waste my time? No, and I certainly didn't waste anyone else's time. I took the chance and invested into something. Things fall through all the time, you can't expect everything to work with any approach. I'd much rather have the tons that fall through and finally find the one that holds up than trying to spread my interest over multiples or anything. | |
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| Are you holding out for one person before accepting dates from others?
Posted: 7/5/2008 12:03:26 PM | I don't put all my eggs in one basket. It is too easy to be disappointed. I do not put too much stock in the online guys. My best dates have been with guys I meet in my every day life. The chemistry and interests are there or not.
When I first started meeting guys via the Internet, I did invest more. After a year of the Internet, my findings have been less than stellar. I still will occasionally meet someone from online, but more for fun than for believing there will be more. | |
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| Are you holding out for one person before accepting dates from others?
Posted: 7/5/2008 12:07:49 PM | "I don't personally see how you can decide someone has a "wow" factor until you meet him or her in person. I have had too many experiences where I had high expectations and was completely let down on the meeting, for whatever reason."
This is so true of online dating. If I feel a WOW online, I set the meet up as soon as possible. If there is WOW after that, then I zero in. That has not happened for me online. | |
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| Are you holding out for one person before accepting dates from others?
Posted: 7/5/2008 1:09:42 PM | "That has not happened for me online."
Keep trying, toomuch - they're out there, but it's a numbers game - which is all the more reason it's silly to invest too much time and effort in being "faithful" to someone you haven't even met in person. You know the old saying about kissing frogs.
I've connected with a few in person who were not a letdown, in the three years I have been dating online - the last one, last week - so far so good . | |
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| Are you holding out for one person before accepting dates from others?
Posted: 7/5/2008 1:20:26 PM |
I'd be devastated if I did accept a date with someone else and she found out and decided to not keep things going in the good direction they are already going and ultimately lost out on her.
Yup Im with mcbobly on that too (except reverse the sexes)
Thanks KYN, glad to see I'm not the only one that thinks like that. Also like to say, hard to imagine you're still single, you are so damn cute and seem well versed and offer great advice, but thanks for agreeing with me..lol. | |
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