| Reality vs Profile
Posted: 7/5/2008 1:55:05 AM | | How many people have read a profile they thought was amazing, where the person says they are active, go to the gym every day, travelled all over the world, assassin for the government, model and actor, have multiple degrees, etc, etc. But then when you met them in person, you discovered that they were nothing like their profile? Would love to hear these stories as I see some profiles that look a lot like tall tales. | |
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| Reality vs Profile
Posted: 7/5/2008 2:15:41 AM | That's why my profile is written the way it is.... I'm pretty much like my profile... but, my profile only scratches the surface of the mediocrity, that is me.
One thing I've noticed is, I get plenty of lookers, but few interested party's... One of the main reasons most likely is simply because my profile is honest.... almost to the point of being bizarre.
They say, 'just be yourself'.... but, what they conveniently forget to add is, 'unless you suck'.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the word of the day.
the giggleparts - In case you couldn't put the puzzle together... odds are, I suck. | |
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| Reality vs Profile
Posted: 7/5/2008 2:28:58 AM | Cant say its happened to me...all of the people Ive met have been pretty representative of what they've said.
Only one guy (a friend) stated his height as one thing and he was clearly another
(shorter than me  )
As for myself...and talking with online people Ive met...they've all said Im exactly the way I come across on here.
That must be good...cos otherwise we wouldnt still be friends. | |
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| Reality vs Profile
Posted: 7/5/2008 2:48:48 AM | | Your profile is great, except I think it tends to give a little too much away too soon. You can still be yourself and be honest without telling people that you really like cheese a lot before you even meet them and the topic comes up naturally. I think you lose something when you bare all too soon, as the process of getting to know a person is like slowly unwrapping layers wrapping around a gift. Or something. Maybe just remove a few non-essential items while still leaving enough to give an idea of you. By the way, I find you pretty attractive. x | |
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| Reality vs Profile
Posted: 7/5/2008 2:50:51 AM | | umm that was meant for the bloke that replied first.. with the cute hair. | |
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| Reality vs Profile
Posted: 7/5/2008 4:59:38 AM | My profile is how I am as I see myself not how others see me as everybody has different perceptions and expectations these days of how others should be it seems. What you read and see is what you get.  | |
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| Reality vs Profile
Posted: 7/5/2008 5:21:52 AM | Women I have met: 15-20 year old photos are not good when meeting in person. " Average " weight does NOT mean 60 - 100 + lbs. overweight.
Be honest or get out !
Char | |
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| Reality vs Profile
Posted: 7/5/2008 6:02:53 AM | | I really do not think it is right though to put our own ideals onto others of how they might view themselves though and especially when it comes to their weight as would you want those things put upon you as well? Often times we as people want to impose our own ideals onto others about weight,hair styles,dress codes etc etc and imo that is just wrong. | |
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| Reality vs Profile
Posted: 7/5/2008 6:11:52 AM | | It's a bit like the Wizard of Oz, never know what is behind that curtain and the booming voice. Even when people are trying to be honest, they don't perceive themselves the way they really are or appear to be to other people. At least when reality is far from self-perception, it is easy to see, most people need to wait 2-3 months for the real person to surface and figure out whether the reality is liveable. | |
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| Reality vs Profile
Posted: 7/5/2008 6:16:14 AM | The people I have met have all been much larger than their pictures show. I think they should warn people in their profile: "Pictures not actual size". I fear I will never meet my pocket dream girl online.
Reality? Personals ads? These are the two opposite ends of the spectrum.
But you wanted real stories. I have a couple stories but I don't feel like exposing someone else's unflattering deception, because I don't think it is something to snicker at when a person is afraid of being themselves openly. I remember as a kid learning about how sometimes women like to lie about their age. And it seemed like the kind of thing where you let it slide because it makes them feel better. That established a certain amount of leeway, so if someone is a few years older or a few pounds heavier, I don't notice, not in any way they would notice. My guess is that if someone is desperate to create a better impression than they can on their merits, so the make stuff up or hide stuff, then they probably really need some approval and acceptance. I'm not worried about defending myself from anyone trying to get in my pants under false pretenses. This frees me up to be more objective and understanding. | |
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| Reality vs Profile
Posted: 7/5/2008 6:30:26 AM | My profile is about as true as it gets 
But know I have met people who do not even match their picture, so forget the profile.
Favorites:- not sure what that is all about? Not spoken to one on my list, dont know why they bother to add me if they dont want to chat to me!!!!
Viewed me: - put that down to good old fishing, they look and swim on to another pool,
Messages Dried Up: They found another little fishie and have swum off.
And to the ones who are at the gym, scaling a mountain, swimming the seas, while riding a bike bringing up half a dozen kids and working 24/7 = they ain't got time to date - have they?  
Going to pee the people off now: How do larger ladies get away with taking a thin photo, seen it on other sites, then see them on face book at a party pictures and they are twice the size,????? But they are the ones that get the dates, us thinnies get passed over while all the men chase them and then moan about it afterwards tee hee
AND I BET ALL THE LIARS ON THEIR PROFILE ARE THE ONES WHO ARE DELETING THIS POST, WHICH I THINK IS HONEST AND NEEDS DISCUSSION hey everyone clik on dont delete this thread lets stop them deleting it tee hee | |
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| Reality vs Profile
Posted: 7/5/2008 6:30:31 AM | | oh yes op,this guy's profile states numerous interests and he states he has an overwhelming amount of energy,when in reality,he sits in front of the computer day and night except to sleep or eat...lol..his profile is filled with exaggerations and half truths.examples..computer whiz..somewhat..many many aquariums..maybe a dozen..of which only 3 set up with plants only,the rest are in need of cleaning..kids over 18..not!!..associated with big wigs in the computer world..maybe in the past..expensive import cars..old and in need of repair..one runs the other doesn't...lol.intelligent?..in a limited way..mostly a fantastic memory and command of the english vocabulary..as you can see,my list could go on forever.i've never met anyone who lives in such a fantasy world . it's great if all you want to do is chat with him,cause he can really come up with stories,but to meet him you would be in shock at all the fallacies you can pick out from his profile.it's rather comical..but hey..good luck to him...perhaps there is a match for him out there somewhere who lives in the same fantasy world. | |
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| Reality vs Profile
Posted: 7/5/2008 6:30:57 AM | Maybe we should read what they write in the profiles instead of creating this fantasy about people.
so what do you expect when you read
the person says they are active, go to the gym every day, travelled all over the world, assassin for the government, model and actor, have multiple degrees, etc, etc.
Well ?? Whats a person like that does all that ??? | |
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| Reality vs Profile
Posted: 7/5/2008 6:37:34 AM | actually, i tone down honest, it'd be just too crazy to believe  | |
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| Reality vs Profile
Posted: 7/5/2008 6:37:52 AM | Just thought of another thread here:-
Why do they need to lie, what is the point when you are going to get found out in five minutes? | |
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| Reality vs Profile
Posted: 7/5/2008 7:31:01 AM | I've found there are some people who will lie about the weather.
I've been here for a while now and it never ceases to amaze me, that some will say "average" or "athletic"......and the photos beg to differ.
Time has a way of telling all.
ceeceekitty | |
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| Reality vs Profile
Posted: 7/5/2008 7:57:03 AM | ~OP~ Personally, what you posted screams, "Liar Liar Liar" to me. I wouldn't have even exchanged email with something that overtly deceptive. But that's just how I am.  | |
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| Reality vs Profile
Posted: 7/5/2008 8:14:47 AM | OP, I ask questions about what they proclaim - and about the pics they post in conversation. I gauge what they're really like by their answers...and I usually like to discuss stuff that I have in common with their profile. IM or phone is better for this, cause they can't fabricate responses as easily.
For instance, if they claim to be athletic or hit the gym a lot, I engage them in conversation about working out - and from there I've actually set up first meetings in a fitness setting. Most won't show up for a tennis match, a rock climbing session, a jog in a public park or a gym workout if they're bluffing.
Same with travel, or having college degrees. etc....get on the phone and ask them some questions...but make sure it's stuff you know inside and out...stick to the things that you have in common, according to what they post. Then ask them about something that they're being vague about - when they say "ok I've only ever traveled to New Jersey" then you can go from there.
A quick webcam session doesn't hurt either. That way you get a better idea who you'd meet if you actually set a meeting up.
That usually weeds out most of the fictional people you run into. | |
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| Reality vs Profile
Posted: 7/5/2008 8:40:12 AM |
Women I have met: 15-20 year old photos are not good when meeting in person. " Average " weight does NOT mean 60 - 100 + lbs. overweight.
i hear you there see this all the time im 30lbs over weight and i have im my profile a few extra pounds guess i was supose to put avg or athletic lol
How do larger ladies get away with taking a thin photo, seen it on other sites, then see them on face book at a party pictures and they are twice the size,????? But they are the ones that get the dates, us thinnies get passed over while all the men chase them and then moan about it afterwards tee hee
well hun i can tell you if i lived in england i would have asked you out by now | |
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| Reality vs Profile
Posted: 7/5/2008 8:47:27 AM | I am honest in my profile about what I am NOT looking for, but am open for pretty much everything else.
I specifically state I am not looking to date single moms. Guess who I get 90% of the few emails I get from? Single moms.
I'm sure if I wrote my profile to make myself sound much cooler than I am, it would help attract more fishies. But I try to be as honest as I can about it. It's hard/impossible to "know" what someone is like just from a profile, so I throw out the big things, and the show stoppers, and try to see where that gets me. So far, just a couple e-friends I chat with but no prospect of dating.
Maybe I'm just Quasimodo's slightly less visually offensive descendant. Oh well. | |
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| Reality vs Profile
Posted: 7/5/2008 8:50:17 AM |
Just thought of another thread here:-
Why do they need to lie, what is the point when you are going to get found out in five minutes?
Hey, I just thought of one, too.
Why do people waste time on a dating site complaining about other people when they could be having fun and interesting discussions about worthwhile topics? | |
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| Reality vs Profile
Posted: 7/5/2008 8:52:45 AM | Of course we describe ourselves as we think we are. Had we included our friend's and/or family's perceptions of us, we'd be lying. We can't even pretend to show ourselves as OTHER people see us, since we don't often get to hear what other people think of us... unless we hang out in the profile review thread a lot.
My profile is really me and while I realize that it's also pretty damned silly... I accept that because I am pretty damned silly. | |
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| Reality vs Profile
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:01:54 AM | I've run in to some where they were 100 lbs heavier than their pic.
What a suprise!
Then there are the ones that state they have wonderful character when, in fact, they're trashy as hell.
One thing to keep in mind that some people don't realize the nature or degree of their character traits. Whether it be due to denial, commonality or indifference.
In this day and age there really is no standard for character, so good and bad are highly subjective. The degree varies from trait and person, but there's no common measure to judge oneself and others.
This is why two people coming together that are compatible enough to support a healthy and satisfying relationship is so random and difficult. | |
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| Reality vs Profile
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:07:07 AM | | If a girl misrepresents herself, and its apparent the moment I meet her, its "have a nice life" and then I'm gone. I consider myself a fairly easy guy to get along with, but lies and infidelity are things I will NEVER tolerate. | |
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| Reality vs Profile
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:09:28 AM | | oh yes, one person i met from here was quite different not just from their profile, but even from their online personality. i could talk for hours online to this person and it was like i could even feel his emotions, and he just raved about himself on his profile, which isnt always a abad thing. but when i met him he was the most unappealing person , i couldnt believe how much of a difference there was. he wasnt interesteing in the slightest, did nothing with himself, and thought he was the greatest guy in the world, plus he was really quite heavy and he claims that hes a regualr body type, and he was HUGE! all these little lies or insecurities or whatever it was compelling him to make himself up to be more than what he really was, was just too much for me. and the thing was i think he really believed what he was saying was true. | |
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