| What's wrong with this guy?
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:35:35 AM | | I met this guy 3 months ago. The sex was amazing. But other than that, he never contacts me or asks me to go out with him. The sex is the only thing we do together. But when we are together he tells me how much fun he has with me and how much he enjoys ****ing me and that he's never been with anyone that he enjoys more than me. If that's true then why doesn't he want to go out to dinner with me or to the movies? I've asked him several times to just be honest with me and tell me if he's got another g/f or if he's living with somebody or whatever it is, I'd be cool with it. But he insists that he's just a loner. I can't figure this guy out. | |
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| What's wrong with this guy?
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:41:25 AM | I don't think I need to be a guy to answer this one and I kind of doubt that you wouldn't have the answer if another woman asked what you're asking.
You're clearly being used for sex. I've never said that without hesitation in reply to any other post but unless there's more you're not saying here, I'd say it's pretty guaranteed that's all it is.
Edit - Because if you're enjoying the sex too, it isn't exactly being "used" uness he's somehow misled you. Poor choice of words as I don't believe people can be used so much as misled. | |
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| What's wrong with this guy?
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:41:29 AM | He doesn't want to do anything else with you because he doesn't have to and obviously has no desire to be anything but a f*ck buddy with you.
He will keep feeding you line after to keep you agreeing to have sex with him when he calls. Unfortunately you have brought this on yourself by allowing him to use you this way.
If, as you state, you are "cool with it" then why are you asking this question? Methinks he does not see you as girlfriend material or anyone he wants to do anything with other than f*ck.... whether he has a gf or not.
JMHO
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| What's wrong with this guy?
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:50:52 AM | Anne, are you happy with the current situation with this man? If no, than don't you think you deserve someone who will treat you as you desire...and who would love to take you out and do things with you. :)
Yes, sex can be amazingly good sometimes....but if that's all there is....there is more to a healthy relationship than that...and you know that. :) Good luck... :) | |
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| What's wrong with this guy?
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:54:01 AM | | Are you kidding me? Did you really just ask this? Wake up, you are having sex with the man, that's it. That is the purpose you serve for him, he tells you what he does so you will continue to have sex with him. This is not hard to figure out. What I can't figure out is why you would do this? | |
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| What's wrong with this guy?
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:03:35 AM | | i totally concur, it is just sex for him. Im not going to use the word "using you" , because as said, if you enjoy it, and are happy if thats all it is, then its mutually beneficial. All you need to do is this: when you 2 are about ready to get it on, hold off, and confront him. Tell him the truth, that if its just about sex, you would be happy with it, but you need to know where you stand and dont need any bs. Often times guys in this situation dont want to admit that because they are worried that if you know the truth, you will look for someone else, and when you find them, no more sex for him! Then he has to go out and find another sex buddy, so laziness factors in here :) | |
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| What's wrong with this guy?
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:04:41 AM | | Please, if you check the poster's age...you will see that she may not be aware of how the dating scene has changed. And it has.....I'll a test to that and I'm sure there are others who will too. | |
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| What's wrong with this guy?
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:17:51 AM | Man, I was unfortunate enough to fall i love with a guy like this. He was Jewish, I was Christian, He was wealthy and socially promminent, I was just a regular woman. We "saw" each other for over a year, and I can count the times on one hand that he took he out with his friends. The problem was that I just was Not Good Enough to marry into his society. And the Real problem was that I fell in love with him. Devastated my self esteem. And, today, I am not so sure I WAS in love with him, as I was bound and determined that he was going to fall in love with me. Anyway, my advice would be to get out and get out now. There is stuff he is not telling you, but he is showing you. Actions speak louder than words. Good Luck!
\Sherry | |
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| What's wrong with this guy?
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:17:59 AM | The sisterhood will tar and feather you for providing a man access to your goodies without first installing him a nose ring. Traitor!
If you asked him why he is interested only in sex and he said it was because he is a loner, then there is you answer. He is a loner with a boner.
Sex is fun, feels good, makes you happy. What does a movie do for you? It fills your hapless eyeballs with rapidly flashing lights, invades your ears with all kinds of sounds, and holds you captive among strangers munching popcorn in the dark. Fun? Ha, not hardly. My big advice on this one is there is no accounting for preferences, and so if the relationship does not suit you, and you can't adjust it because he is unwilling, then end that relationship and find a movie-going, conversational man who does sex as well as social activities. No need to say there is anything wrong with him. What's wrong with you for not wanting what he wants? It's a double edged letter opener. | |
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| What's wrong with this guy?
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:18:28 AM |
All you need to do is this: when you 2 are about ready to get it on, hold off, and confront him.
Teasing a man and then trapping him... I know this kind of behavior would piss me off to no end. | |
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brad47
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Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 13 | |
| What's wrong with this guy?
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:25:24 AM | | you could say he has been teasing and trapping her as well. so its ok for him to do it? besides, girl cuts me off, ill take care of it myself, no need to get pissed. | |
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| What's wrong with this guy?
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:25:35 AM | He enjoys having sex with you.
Going to the movies and having dinner with you is not a prerequisite to enjoying having sex with you...showing up is.
You enjoy having sex with him.
Going to the movies and having dinner with him is not a prerequisite to enjoying having sex with him...showing up is.
Nothing wrong with him.
Nothing wrong with you.
If you want to go to the movies, have dinner AND enjoy having sex with someone, change your prerequisites.
He'll meet them, or not...and if he doesn't...someone else will.
In the meantime, enjoy. | |
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| What's wrong with this guy?
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:27:13 AM | ~tilts head~ You're kidding.....right?
Apparently, the cold hard facts of it, as you have put forth, is he wants only to be a "FB" with you and apparently nothing more since he's not taken you out etc...He does not view you as serious relationship/gf or even casual dating material. He gets what he wants from you nothing more, nothing less.
Just because he enjoys having sex with you doesn't mean he wants to take you out on a date.
In any event, you stated that you were "cool" with this and if you are then why do you ask? If you want a relationship with a man then I would suggest you find someone else. If you don't and just want sex then do what you will.
I'm sorry to be so blunt, but you asked.
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| What's wrong with this guy?
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:31:54 AM |
I met this guy 3 months ago. The sex was amazing. But other than that, he never contacts me or asks me to go out with him. The sex is the only thing we do together. But when we are together he tells me how much fun he has with me and how much he enjoys ****ing me and that he's never been with anyone that he enjoys more than me. If that's true then why doesn't he want to go out to dinner with me or to the movies? I've asked him several times to just be honest with me and tell me if he's got another g/f or if he's living with somebody or whatever it is, I'd be cool with it. But he insists that he's just a loner. I can't figure this guy out.
.... seriously?
Let me get this straight. You're 53 years old, you're f*cking a guy that doesn't want to take you out on dates. And you can't figure out why he doesn't want to go out??
/facepalm | |
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| What's wrong with this guy?
Posted: 7/5/2008 12:57:37 PM | OP ~
You need to figure YOU out. My mother is five years older than you, and I KNOW she was single for many years because she found it challenging to meet quality people with whom she felt compatible. I am sure it is so hard to believe that you could be so blinded by this guy, but clearly, low self esteem is the culprit.
Your needs are not being met. You are not being respected. Let him be a loner. There is no need for him to explain further. Respect yourself and be TRUE to yourself. Let him go.
Best wishes ~ | |
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| What's wrong with this guy?
Posted: 7/5/2008 5:39:18 PM | | Thanks for all your great ideas/advice/suggestions. It was really eye-opening for me. The one I liked the best and choose to believe is that last one...that he's a social recluse but does have "needs". Not that he's using me...we both enjoy the sex too much for that. Honestly, I'm probably not relationship material. I'm working thru some issues, but have "needs" myself. Thanks again. | |
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| What's wrong with this guy?
Posted: 7/5/2008 7:18:39 PM |
The one I liked the best and choose to believe is that last one...that he's a social recluse but does have "needs".
Whatever makes you happy. No accounting for people who choose to delude themselves. | |
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| What's wrong with this guy?
Posted: 7/5/2008 7:36:08 PM | OP... nothing wrong with him
He's got what he wants. And you give it to him.
You made your body available as his amusement park... and he's accepting the free ride.
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| What's wrong with this guy?
Posted: 7/5/2008 7:55:12 PM |
Maybe he's a social recluse who occasionally gets horny.
It could happen. I'm a social recluse who frequently gets horny..... | |
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| What's wrong with this guy?
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:42:35 PM | | Greyfeld, don't know about how things work in the world you live in, but in mine, 90 percent of the people are deluding themselves about half the time and the other 10 percent are just lying about their reality. I feel in good company with the delusional....LOL! | |
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| What's wrong with this guy?
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:43:56 PM | | Hereshecomes, I sort of am too but fight it. My mother was reclusive and I swore I'd never be like that. Guess that's why that particular answer appealed to me. Thanks for your response. | |
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| What's wrong with this guy?
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:47:08 PM |
Greyfeld, don't know about how things work in the world you live in, but in mine, 90 percent of the people are deluding themselves about half the time and the other 10 percent are just lying about their reality. I feel in good company with the delusional....LOL!
That's the problem with most people is they prefer to live inside their own little bubble. It explains why a lot of people don't like me lol. I walk around with a pin in my pocket for bubble-popping :P | |
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| What's wrong with this guy?
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:57:32 PM | Bubble popping..........Sometimes. some of us need it! To allow us to face our sadness in our lives....and get over it! To go on and be happy! | |
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