| Telling someone you love them
Posted: 7/5/2008 7:45:45 PM | I have been in love with my friend for over a year now. I know he does not feel the same way about me. I listen to him tell me how lonely he is and how he just wants to find that "someone special" He is aware I am very attracted to him and yes we have fooled around on occasion, but generally we talk and act like friends.
My question is: Should a person tell a friend they are in love with them even though they are sure they do not feel the same way back..or are some things better off left unsaid! | |
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| Telling someone you love them
Posted: 7/5/2008 7:56:23 PM | I so wish I had some really great advice to share with you. I've kinda been in your shoes before, and I chose to tell him. It didn't work out the way I had hoped, and we're no longer friends (but not because of that).
I ran across a quote recently that I feel compelled to share with you now. It may help...
"I don't regret the things I've done. I regret the things I didn't do when I had the chance." author unknown
Good luck. | |
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| Telling someone you love them
Posted: 7/5/2008 8:01:17 PM | Hmmm, You said that you are already are sure that he does not feel the same way and that he is aware you are attracted to him but he treats you like a friend.
I will just say this....
If I were your in your shoes .....If I really wanted to keep him as a friend( or some part of my life ) I wouldn't say anything that could potentially damage that. Some people feel uncomfortable if they think you are one thing... only to find out the other person thinks otherwise or is hopeing for more. It just gets weird sometimes after that.
I do think sometimes things are better off let usaid....but that is just my opinion.
I am sure there will be some people who think differently and will think you should take the chance. I just think you have thrown it out there a few times and hopefully he got the hint :)
Good luck! | |
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| Telling someone you love them
Posted: 7/5/2008 8:06:36 PM | | you should tell them so your not wondering for the rest of your life, i always say that i would rather regret soemthing that i did do then what i should have done , if u regret something u did do ur just like oh well a lesson learned but if u regret something u should have done ur wanting to kick yourself in the ass | |
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| Telling someone you love them
Posted: 7/5/2008 8:08:42 PM | Ive been there before too. I decided to tell him. Joe was my best friend and he still is. I found out that he felt the same way. We're not together now. We realized that we're better as friends. We're still close and talk as often as we can (he lives in a different state now to be near his family who was having problems). We still each other that we love each other because its true. I love him as a person and as a friend and as someone I can turn to whenever I need.
I think it's a risk either way. Telling him might put a strain on your friendship. But thats only if you let it and if he doesn't feel the same way.
Not telling him...well your feelings could build up until you eventually explode...or it might slowly subside.
And if he does feel the same, then I hope it works out for both of you
Good luck | |
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| Telling someone you love them
Posted: 7/6/2008 12:22:01 PM | | its horrible when your in that position.I was a few years ago.My freind Neil was great untill i told him how i felt about him and i wanted more from our friendship. I had such a secrect crush on him for years even though he started seeing someone.I was seeing this guy 3 to 4 times a week at my dance class we bacame that close that ppl thought we where brothers and sisters,or boyfriend and girlfriend.I had loads of ppl thinking we where a couple. In some instances i wish i said yes we are without him hearing.It ruined my life as i didnt was see any other guy. I lost my confidence and wondered why he didnt want me even though we talked bout it loads of times. I got jelous eventually i quit as it was hurting too bad.He knew it but eventually it was best for the both of us that i left and he could have a nice life with his gf.A few times i knew that he wanted me as he did things like touch my leg or tickle me or some how wanted to get close to me. This ws tough for me i had to leave all my friends but i am glad i did as now im about to meet my new fella. The morell i have learnt from this is dont let it threat your freindship.I lost aload of friends through this but if its hurting too much leave him and move on you will make new friends like i have. Live live to the full.Good luck in whatever you do.If you need someone to talk to please mail me:) | |
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| Telling someone you love them
Posted: 7/6/2008 12:32:51 PM | Well, rather than jumping from "friends" to "in love", why don't you start by saying something like "have you ever thought about us dating?" or "I would kind of like to do more than fool around once in a while".
I'm not saying this quite right. But I'm trying to suggest that you more or less casually talk to him about becoming more than friends, or suggest that perhaps you could be more than friends b/c you have feelings for him.
Does he acknowledge to you that he likes men? Or is his fooling around with you one of those unspoken things? I think that's perhaps the first hurdle to get over. Then work on letting him know you'd like to try to have a dating relationship.
Ease him into love...give him time to grow feelings like yours. Otherwise I do think you really risk losing him altogether.
Just my suggestion.
Kaylie | |
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| Telling someone you love them
Posted: 7/6/2008 8:01:51 PM | Here is were the saying, “honesty is the best policy” works very well.
Yes, in all fairness to the person in question and yourself. I would tell them how I feel about them. It isn’t fair for them because they might misinterpret some of your actions and deeds. Also it would be unfair to you not to be honest about your feeling toward them and the desirer to move this relationship to the next level. So with that stated I hope you do tell them and good luck! | |
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