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 Author Thread: Starting over and need a critique
 cococheena

Joined: 4/26/2008
Msg: 1
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Starting over and need a critique
Posted: 7/5/2008 8:29:24 PM
My profile is open for critiqueing. What's the first impression you get of me from reading my profile? Is it too playful? I also want to be perceived accurately as the intelligent woman that I am.

Any assistance would be appreciated.

--Cococheena
 CYOA

Joined: 4/5/2008
Msg: 2
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Starting over and need a critique
Posted: 7/5/2008 8:39:59 PM
Your pics are cute, but in the third one your mouth is smiling while your eyes look sad. (my own interpretation, may not be true) I always find a picture with a fake smile to be sadder than looking at someone crying.

You start off with a negative, which is not great ... subconsciously I will always know that the first "words" out of your mouth were "If you're married or separated, there's nothing for you here. If you're recently divorced and interested, come back after you've worked out your mental and emotional stuff. Otherwise, read on....."

Is this a good way to start a "conversation"?

Also, I want to know a bit about what KIND of music, and what KIND of movies you like, as music and movies are very vague. If I am going to contact you based on your "interests" then I will need to know a bit more about those interests.

I hope my little observances help you out! =)

I'm new here too, and if you have a couple of minutes to take a "choose your own adventure" date with me, that would be great!
 cococheena

Joined: 4/26/2008
Msg: 3
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Starting over and need a critique
Posted: 7/6/2008 9:25:12 PM
Thanks for the feedback.

My opening sounds negative - true. But I seem to attract married and separated guys. What's up with that? What can I say in a positive way to deter them from contacting me.

What is a "choose your own adventure" date?

-- Cococheena
 LaBellaLuna2

Joined: 5/23/2008
Msg: 4
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Starting over and need a critique
Posted: 7/6/2008 9:36:44 PM

But I seem to attract married and separated guys. What's up with that? What can I say in a positive way to deter them from contacting me.


Yep, and judging by msg 2, you have done it again here as well.

I looked at your profile to try to find the answer. Perhaps in lies in the words serendipitous, irreverant and playful. If so, what a shame because they are good words and describe a vibrant, fun to be around soul.

I did not get negative from your opening (and believe me, I would tell you if I did).

If you are really bombarded by emails from the unavailable, screen those suckers out.

Maybe someone else will come along and point out something that I missed.

Good luck.
 Super 1

Joined: 7/9/2005
Msg: 5
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Starting over and need a critique
Posted: 7/7/2008 5:55:01 AM
You asked and here I go. Now remember opinions are like ***holes everyone has one.... Drop your first line not many people will read beyond your first line. Make it something that will make them want to read more. DON'T say how you think people VIEW YOU tell them who you are and what you like. I think you will have more success with this on your profile. Hope I was helpful.... Vinnie
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