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 plmxzaq
Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 1
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what to talk about on 2nd date?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
The first date is easy - you just ask questions about their job, family etc.

However - the 2 nd date is a far trickier beast.

Does anyone else find this ?

Also - how many daes does it take you to get comfortabel around teh person where conversation flows natuirally as opposed to awkward silenses ?
 **Tee**
Joined: 3/11/2008
Msg: 2
what to talk about on 2nd date?
Posted: 7/6/2008 10:10:05 AM

Does anyone else find this ?


No..I talk way too much for there to be uncomfortable silences..

Don't think too much, just be yourself, and have fun wherever you are. Take in the scenery, people around you, and just let the conversation flow...The more you fret about it, the worse it'll be...
 haywiresue
Joined: 9/27/2006
Msg: 3
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what to talk about on 2nd date?
Posted: 7/6/2008 10:15:21 AM
If after a first date, and continued communication you find yourself with nothing to talk about - then you are not into this man. If you are not comfortable and interested after the first date, there should be more discovery before that second date - otherwise I would feel like I was taking advantage of the man. When I say yes to date #2, its cause there is something there. Otherwise I am honest with the man, because I would appreciate the same.

You should be continuing where you left off after date number one. Talking about family/jobs/interests and asking more specific questions and using questions that show you have taken an interest in him, as what is new with: his family, his job, and then moving on to things he is interested in or things going on in your city/worldwide. He should also be asking the same about you. Then there is always topics that either of you are passionate about.
 MizQ
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 4
what to talk about on 2nd date?
Posted: 7/6/2008 12:14:34 PM

No..I talk way too much for there to be uncomfortable silences..


Oh, goodie..I am not the only one!

Second dates are good for an activity. You can start to get a better feel of their personality and how they act in a different settting and the conversation should just flow naturally.
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 5
what to talk about on 2nd date?
Posted: 7/6/2008 12:22:26 PM

No..I talk way too much for there to be uncomfortable silences


well just hope that what you are saying is not total crap to the guy..sometimes its better to have the occasional akward silences than someone talking non stop, but only spewing drivel
 MizQ
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 6
what to talk about on 2nd date?
Posted: 7/6/2008 12:23:53 PM

well just hope that what you are saying is not total crap to the guy


yeah, let's hope.
 eazk
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 7
what to talk about on 2nd date?
Posted: 7/6/2008 5:11:05 PM

The first date is easy - you just ask questions about their job, family etc.

However - the 2 nd date is a far trickier beast.

Does anyone else find this ?

Also - how many daes does it take you to get comfortabel around teh person where conversation flows natuirally as opposed to awkward silenses ?

ARRRRRGGHHHHHH.......NOOOOOO!!!!

Don't ever do the standard job interview questions on dates 1, 2 or maybe even 3. Find out about the frickin person!!! OMG, everybody...IN SOME WAY...has a capacity to talk about themselves. Learn how to ask questions, assimilate answers, extrapolate next questions or follow-on parallels in your experiences, and then move on in the conversation.

There's a book called 4,000 Questions for Getting to Know Everything About Anybody..roughly 8 bucks....BUT IT!!!!

<== Oh, and focus on fun...love develops from fun...fun never develops from love.
 **Tee**
Joined: 3/11/2008
Msg: 8
what to talk about on 2nd date?
Posted: 7/6/2008 5:20:27 PM
well just hope that what you are saying is not total crap to the guy..sometimes its better to have the occasional akward silences than someone talking non stop, but only spewing drivel


Actually, some of the men I've gone on dates with expressed relief that I actually talked.

I've worked with the public for years, I assure you, I can carry an interesting conversation when I want....unless I want to make sure there is no third date.... Only then do I start spewing drivel...
 exiss
Joined: 8/19/2007
Msg: 9
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what to talk about on 2nd date?
Posted: 7/6/2008 5:22:35 PM
If I ever get to a second date, i'll let you know, lol...........
 The rock man
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 10
what to talk about on 2nd date?
Posted: 7/6/2008 5:25:27 PM
If the person was paying attention to the conversation on the first date, when talking about friends family and job. It would seem proper to ask questions about those same things on the second date....

If there is nothing left to discuss after the first date, WAY TO MUCH was shared.
Being truly interested in the other person should help to raise new questions also!

~BU~
 The Jabberwock
Joined: 5/21/2008
Msg: 11
what to talk about on 2nd date?
Posted: 7/6/2008 6:10:47 PM
If there was not much to talk about on the first date that was titillating, then don't MAKE a second date!
 german chick 1968
Joined: 5/13/2008
Msg: 12
what to talk about on 2nd date?
Posted: 7/6/2008 6:41:39 PM
nah Im a chatter box for it to get quiet , I be myself , besides the second date could be something fun for the both of you, like bowling . dont over think the situation be natural and your self . all else will fall into place .....
just dont go to a place where you have to scream at each other thats anoying.lol
good luck
kathy
 libby1217
Joined: 8/26/2006
Msg: 13
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what to talk about on 2nd date?
Posted: 7/6/2008 10:15:47 PM
well the first date wasn't that spectacular if all you talked about was job, family, etc. you know right away if someone is easy to talk with. that's your comfort zone. some people don't talk much and like people who don't talk much and some people talk too much and like people who talk too much and some people who don't talk like people who do and some people who talk too much like people that don't. a date shouldn't be alot of effort, things should be natural, you know if you like a person or not.
 The Artful Codger
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 14
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what to talk about on 2nd date?
Posted: 7/7/2008 12:33:38 AM

...fun never develops from love.
You clearly don't do love the same way I do.

OT :
what to talk about on 2nd date?
Politics, religion and what you did when you got home from the first date.
Does anyone else find this ?
I have not run into this problem.
how many daes does it take you to get comfortabel around teh person where conversation flows natuirally as opposed to awkward silenses ?
One too many.
 867love
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 15
what to talk about on 2nd date?
Posted: 7/7/2008 3:12:32 AM
whatever you want, just dont screw it up...
cuz the third date is the fun one
 ActionSmiles
Joined: 4/30/2008
Msg: 16
what to talk about on 2nd date?
Posted: 7/7/2008 4:05:38 AM
Absolutely not! For me, it is far easier when you have met someone to know what activity will interest both of you.
 oldsoul
Joined: 3/10/2007
Msg: 17
what to talk about on 2nd date?
Posted: 7/7/2008 4:43:29 AM
I would assume that by agreeing to go on a second date, you must have both felt there was something there...no?

And if there is something there, how in the world can you run out of things to say by the second date?

I'm sorry OP, but I'm so far at the other end of the scale that I can't even grasp the idea of running out of things to talk about with someone I'm interested in.

My god...there are so many things to talk about...politics, religions, the mystery of life...us...the beginning of times, the end...our purpose... our hopes and dreams....our disappointments...our sorrows...what makes us smile and what makes us sad...it's all good stuff...in my opinion anyway, but to each their own.



JMHO
 everlast_toronto
Joined: 5/28/2008
Msg: 18
what to talk about on 2nd date?
Posted: 7/7/2008 7:34:59 AM
I try to make the second date an action date...... its much easier than trying to come up with conversation topics, I just hate that. its much easier to do SOMETHING, and then the conversation will flow naturally from that. hopefully, what you're doing is fun, and you wont even need to think about what to talk about. the first date is the interview date, the second date should be fun: bowling, go-cart racing, shooting galleries..... all these things will lead to conversation naturally....

thats my 2 cents
 gemstar2000
Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 19
what to talk about on 2nd date?
Posted: 7/7/2008 7:53:22 AM
If I'm uncomfortable and know that conversation is going to be difficult to achieve on a second date, there won't be a second date. There's no point in it.

Heck, people stay married for 50 years, and find things to talk about every day. If you can't think of what to talk about on a 2nd date, you sure aren't going to stay interested for the long haul.
 plmxzaq
Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 20
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what to talk about on 2nd date?
Posted: 7/7/2008 11:40:46 AM
Ok - I see where your difficulty is when you phrase it like that.

Let me explain my self a bit better so.

YEs - there are loads of topics people can talk about as you say

My point is that basically,on a 2nd date, you are meeting with,to all intents and purposes, a complete stranger.

Like - for example,when I start a new job,i don't know anybody and natuirally conversation is not as fluent at the beginning as it is when you get more comfortable and familiar with my colleagues.

I don't understand how people can be totally comfortable with each other after 1 or 2 dates.
And I would consider myself a reasonably social normal guy.

I just don't understand that.
 toomuch13
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 21
what to talk about on 2nd date?
Posted: 7/7/2008 12:50:07 PM
If the conversation does not feel natural on the first date, there is no second date. The first date is about figuring out what makes the other tick and if you have anything in common with them. It is about the flow of two people.

Alright, I went out on Friday with a guy I had been flirting with in my local library. He asked me what I was doing for the 4th and I said, "visiting friends in Sonoma." He looked a bit sad so I asked what he was doing. He said he didn't know. I casually asked if he wanted to come with me. His face lit up and he agreed. We had a BLAST. I found out that he loves Shakespeare and I invited him to go with me to Shakespeare in the park this month since I have tickets.

See we exchanged information and found out we had quite a bit in common. Now I have been eyeing this guy for a while and knew we had books in common, but I asked who his favorite authors were and mentioned I was taking an intensive Shakespeare class this summer. It all started to come together.

So remember what the person said from the first date and let that work into your second date.
 plmxzaq
Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 22
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what to talk about on 2nd date?
Posted: 7/7/2008 1:05:42 PM
Fair enough - looks like it's just me so.

I think I am too self-conscious.

That's probably it.
 climbingrose
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 23
what to talk about on 2nd date?
Posted: 7/7/2008 4:02:36 PM
Most people can't be 'themselves' on a second date with a stranger. Instead of dinner or something so intimate, go to the zoo or a museum where the pressure to talk about yourselves or stare uncomfortably at one another is reduced. Most people relax a bit when they aren't under the gun in an interview and the natural personality shines through. (If the chimps are throwing poo and screaming at one another or the gorillas are playing chase, bingo, perfect neutral topic about how funny/gross animals are. You could also use the poo-throwing, screaming chimps as a no-drama lesson for your potential sweetie..."I'm glad we've evolved because I could NOT live with all the shrieking and shit that's flying in there. Could you?")

Or just learn to carry the conversation until your partner loosens up a bit.

Happy fishing!!
 Rubytyr1
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 24
what to talk about on 2nd date?
Posted: 7/7/2008 4:51:11 PM

well just hope that what you are saying is not total crap to the guy..sometimes its better to have the occasional akward silences than someone talking non stop, but only spewing drivel


Are you kidding? lol, less work for me!
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 25
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what to talk about on 2nd date?
Posted: 7/7/2008 5:15:14 PM
I find the second date to be much easier - more relaxed..you've met, now you can really get to know one another!
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