| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/6/2008 10:10:13 AM | | I need some help/point of views on the subject of physical attraction.... I meet a girl about 6 months ago and we hit off great she is really funny, smart, ambitious and has all of the qualities that I could ever ask of a girl. She is very pretty, but her body does not turn me on.... I love spending time with her and we want to carry our relationship to the next level, but I am worried about the phyical aspect of our relationship. Should I be worried about it? would it be possible to have a long-healthy relationship if I'm not physically attracted to her(I'm not like repulsed by her, it's just that she lacks certin physical likeness). I really want to be with her, but I don't know what will happen and I don't want to hurt her ..... What should I do? | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/6/2008 10:14:28 AM | I'm not saying there is anything wrong with preferences, we all have them, and of course, everyone has their own idea of what attracts them physically..
That being said...if her body bothers you that much? Do her a favour.... cut her loose and let her find somebody that loves all of her just the way she is. Everyone deserves that.... | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/6/2008 10:20:28 AM | | This is just my opinion but you should end it now. There is already a negative to one of the most important aspects of a relationship. In my opinion it is the FIRST important but not the most important. If you are not 100% physically attracted to this lady, it will just catch up to you after the "honeymoon" period. You will start looking at her and finding those negatives and will lose that interest in her quicker than you found the interest in her. JMO | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/6/2008 10:49:44 AM | What is wrong with her body? Does she have a parasitic twin growing out of her pelvis or something?
Cut her loose ole boy .....she deserves someone who will love her just as she is!
A good looking stud like youself should be able to find a beautiful body just about anywhere! Just make sure to have plenty of one's.. five's ...aww on second thought you better have plenty of hundreds.... Good luck to you! | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/6/2008 10:57:31 AM | apparently , it is. Unless one is sightless, humans take in everything with their eyes...first...and notice a beautiful girl, handsome man, wonderful sunset, full moon, etc.
But:
if her body bothers you that much? Do her a favour.... cut her loose and let her find somebody that loves all of her just the way she is. Everyone deserves that....
This quote by poster Tee is a pointer to the Right Way to deal with this. Otherwise, you are hoping for some change...or, in your mind, something about her is not right, and that will eventually spill out into other negative areas 'in your mind' about her.
I will tell on myself here too: I met a great gal a few years back, lovely, charming, witty, infectuous laugh, loving, but I had some weird 'problem' with the body thing too. Well, it never went anywhere, it just drifted away,,,,But then I ended up reconnecting with her months and months later. She had lost 30 pounds and looked like a model, i swear. Damn. Changes, eh?
We had a coffee, where she informed me that she had met a man and fallen in love, and it was mutual. Of course, I was happy for her, but it sure was a powerful lesson for me in the area of judgement based upon appearances. Why?
Because she was the same wonderful person, only thinner.
tsk tsk
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Kimbo~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/6/2008 10:58:36 AM | | Ask yourself how YOU would fel if she told you she really liked you but your body did not turn her on. If it's not something you would want to hear, then do the girl a favor and find someone else. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/6/2008 11:03:03 AM | Physical Attraction matters BIG TIME!
Nobody's perfect, but water tends to seek it's own level.
You will know the right one when you find her.
EVERYTHING will click.
And even if others see her imperfections, you will be oblivious to them. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/6/2008 11:03:25 AM | | ok let me add this.... I know that I'm not perfect and I am not looking for someone that is perfect. I can and have excepted her for exactly who and what she is... I don't want her to change .... I just want to know if it is possible have a healthy long lasting relationship with her if I do not think she is a super-hot-sexiest-thing-I-ever-laid-my-eyes-on..... is it possible??? I want to be with her, we both make each other really happy... I just want to know if this relationship is doomed or not???? | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/6/2008 11:07:09 AM | | She might be thinking the same thing of you. And when people get older they must get less attractive to each other anyway. But do you think you are a cheater? Would you cheat on her? She probably deserves someone who loves her exactly the way she is. Didn't you think about this 5 months ago? | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/6/2008 11:18:01 AM | It's possible to have a wonderful love affair with someone who isn't physically perfect in your eyes.
If you're really in love with her you won't worry about the imperfections. It's only when you're not in love that you look for reasons to get out.
Take that however you will. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/6/2008 11:19:14 AM |
I just want to know if it is possible have a healthy long lasting relationship with her if I do not think she is a super-hot-sexiest-thing-I-ever-laid-my-eyes-on..... is it possible??? Of course it is! Just don't let on. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/6/2008 11:21:15 AM | Here's a country song by Andy Griggs titled "She's More" that speaks of this very topic. When you can honestly say she's more, that's the one for you.
http://www.cmt.com/videos/andy-griggs/55237/shes-more.jhtml
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/6/2008 11:21:43 AM | | well Bowlerman and dumplin girl.... It has not bothered me that much up until now that we are ready to take a few steps forward... it just got me thinking... And no I'm not a cheater, I would never do that.... that is the point... I care for her to much to do that to her.... With everything being a wonderful as it is, I do not believe that I should let this little thing get in the way, but is it something that after time goes by will go away and I will not see it anymore? CAN SOMEONE'S TRUE LOVE FOR SOMEONE ELSE OUT SHINE THEIR PHYSICAL COMPLECTION? | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/6/2008 11:34:21 AM | | When you kiss her, does she turn you on? Attraction doesn't have to be instant, but it does have to be there...if you have to manufacture desire by "overlooking" your disappointment with her body, it's not going to work. If she turns you on despite your disappointment, there's a much better chance. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/6/2008 11:34:27 AM |
Very good song and very true lyrics... Smart man for seein this... For OP if you are questionin your relationship like this, maybe you should speak with her about how you feel instead of here on this forum. You may find opinions but you will not find answers. Only you and your mate will be able to answer your question...  Brat | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/6/2008 11:35:49 AM | ^^^ I am so bad with postin today 
Here's a country song by Andy Griggs titled "She's More" that speaks of this very topic. When you can honestly say she's more, that's the one for you.
http://www.cmt.com/videos/andy-griggs/55237/shes-more.jhtml
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/6/2008 11:36:50 AM | i was in this exact same situation.
i got into a relationship with a girl whom I wasnt physically attracted to, but went ahead with it because I liked her.
well i had sex with her a few times but I QUICKLY got tired of it to the point it almost became a chore. My sex drive hadnt depleted in the least, and while I was in love with her undeniably I just didnt want to have sex with her.
She's gonna start to wonder why you wont fu ck her and its going to become a giant self-esteem issue for her. Youre both going to be sexually unsatisfied and no amount of reassurance that you love her is going to fix it ( for either of you). AND IT WILL NOT GET BETTER WITH TIME. I am speaking from experience, here.
that whole TRUE LOVE CONQUERS ALL thing only exists in the movies. the idea that "unconditional love" is going to get you horny enough to have sex with someone youre not physically attracted to is really bizarre. | |
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| Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/6/2008 11:37:59 AM | Really, only you can answer this question. Just how important is it to you? In the long run, which is going to be more important? As you said, she isn't repulsive to you.. but are all of her qualities that you do enjoy something that will sustain you if you go forward with a relationship or will you always be focused on the aspect that is missing?
Haha, around here I will imagine you will get lots of useless advice and not so nice commentary.. but I can very much relate to your situation.
With my last LTR, the guy was really great. Awesome personality, sense of humor and I loved spending time with him. Everything about him was exactly what I wanted... except for his physical appearance. Now, like you, I didn't find him repulsive and he is cute.. just not an appearance that wowed me or made my heart and loins pulse a bit faster. I never really considered myself a shallow person and this particular situation conflicted me on what I thought I knew of my self. That isn't why I continued seeing him though.
The thing is, I just flat out enjoyed him so much more than the guys that did cause that flutter of physical attraction. To the point that I only wanted to spend time with him. When something great or awful happened, he was the first person I wanted to share it with. It dawned on me that I wanted to share my life with him. All of it. The good, the bad, the mundane.. didn't matter because with him around it was better.
Then guess what. He became the center of my lust. Now, did he become more physically attractive to me? No. Did he become the object of my sexual desire, fantasies, reality.. yes. He, the whole person and not just the shell, was wonderful in my eyes. To date, the absolute best experience of my life.
Like you, I waffled about it in the beginning. To be honest, I waffled about it a time or two in the middle as well but I always came back to the fact that he is wonderful and man was I lucky to have such a fantastic guy that loved me.
Yes, our relationship ended. Not because of this reason though.
So is it possible? Absolutely. Again, it's something that only you can answer. | |
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