| If I was a real woman
Posted: 7/6/2008 2:06:27 PM | I recently been catting with a nice guy I really do like him and I want to meet and I think he does want to meet me but when I txted him sayin "Could we meet next Sunday?" he txted back saying "He was going out for his birthday" fair enough I texted back saying "Could you may be chuck some dates at me for a meeting?" He just text back saying " Ok" Now if taht was me I would have said" OK I am available next week or next weekend" Atleast given that open option. If I was a real woman he would have done that.
So may be am thinking he dont want to meet at all.
What you guys think? and have u ever had a woman instigate a meet and you not really responding with a date or anything?
Lisa | |
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| If I was a real woman
Posted: 7/6/2008 2:13:08 PM | i think you should just listen what he told you. Stop trying to guess or figure out what he could or should have said to make you happy.
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| If I was a real woman
Posted: 7/6/2008 2:20:38 PM | | No, he would have done that because it's how he rolls. Someone else would have rolled differently. It's all in the rolling whether you are TS or biologically endowed. He was probably doing good to see the keyboard for the fog. | |
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| If I was a real woman
Posted: 7/6/2008 2:30:47 PM | | If I'd asked what you asked and got the response you did, I would be left thinking he's not interested. If you're not sure about that, you could text him again and be a little more pointed in your questions: "What days are you free to meet? Which one would be best for you? I'm free on (insert days)." If he's vague in his response, you'll have your answer. | |
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| If I was a real woman
Posted: 7/6/2008 2:35:58 PM | | You know, you're a pretty girl. You did your part, you asked him a couple of times, he didn't give you a straight answer. Don't beg for dates, let it go...I'm sure theres alot of other men that wouldn't mind dating you.... | |
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| If I was a real woman
Posted: 7/6/2008 3:09:58 PM | Way too much drama. He said OK; ask for when he's available and go from there.
Too much analysis and looking for a reason that you're gonna get dumped -- BE CONFIDENT IN YOURSELF! | |
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| If I was a real woman
Posted: 7/6/2008 4:13:08 PM | Life would be easier if everyone was totally decisive and always told the truth upfront.
Let him get back to you with some dates. If he doesn't, move on. It has nothing to do with whether you are a real woman or not. Maybe he's a busy guy with priorities besides meeting you. Maybe he's seeing 10 other women and it's hard for him to keep his dating schedule straight so couldn't give you an open option. Who the hell knows (other than him) why he didn't tell you more than "Ok" at that point.
Just because you have been chatting with him, and you like him, you still haven't met him, so if he doesn't get back to you with a date, chalk it off as a non interest, and move on. | |
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| If I was a real woman
Posted: 7/6/2008 4:16:58 PM | | OP - I edited this when I read your profile. He probably had second thoughts. It would take an exceptional man to accept the fact that you are a pre-op (or post-op, for that matter) transexual. Very few could deal with it. Let it go. If he contacts you, fine. If not, you will eventually find the right man for you. Good luck and I didn't mean to make light of your ordeal. I just didn't read your profile first. Sorry! | |
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| If I was a real woman
Posted: 7/6/2008 4:24:04 PM | | Well,Lisa,he probably re-read your profile and thought better of it.The vast masjority of men actually want a biological woman,and the idea of going out with a transsexual of any state is just not on.Doesn`t matter who or what you feel you are inside,the vast majority of men find the whole idea of gender switching repulsive,just how it is.Now,if he knew about you,well,hey,you win a few.........Keep trying,but be honest. | |
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| If I was a real woman
Posted: 7/6/2008 4:41:44 PM |
Now if taht was me I would have said" OK I am available next week or next weekend" Atleast given that open option. If I was a real woman he would have done that.
No, hun... He would not... Some guys have testicles only for parade.
The vast masjority of men actually want a biological woman,and the idea of going out with a transsexual of any state is just not on.Doesn`t matter who or what you feel you are inside,the vast majority of men find the whole idea of gender switching repulsive,just how it is.
I love when people hide their own Bigotry and Prejudice behind the general statements.
"The vast majority of men"... blah, blah, blah.
If you find something "repulsive" at least be enough of a man to admit to it.
Don't hide behind "the vast majority".
There are lots of people (men & women) out there who are prejudiced, uninformed and close-minded... but there are also plenty of people who understand that gender/sex/sexuality are not binary categories... and who are able to see beyond their noses.
In this particular case your comment is obviously pointless. OP is very upfront about HER situation and if a guy was not clear about it he will have to catch up on his reading/comprehension skills.
OP, the dude seems not to be clear if he wants to pursue it or not... If you really like him and are not in a rush give him some more time... If you don't want to wait - move on.
Best of luck to you.
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| If I was a real woman
Posted: 7/6/2008 5:45:14 PM |
If I was a real woman he would have done that. Maybe yes, maybe no...but either way it's for him to own, not you.
have u ever had a woman instigate a meet and you not really responding with a date or anything? No. My momma taught me manners. I'll tell you if I'm not interested, or terrified, or mad, or just can't talk right now
because I'm too busy training for next month's sheep tossing festival in Bolivia. | |
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| If I was a real woman
Posted: 7/6/2008 7:46:46 PM | The OP is not happy with the body he has; that's fine, but like anorexia sufferers, don't expect the world to salute you on your ill-advised decisions. He ought to be happy that a guy would be willing to date him in the first place. It would be a non-starter for me and I daresay nearly all men. That I even have to say this is amazing; that it would be attacked as unnatural or bigoted is frankly, insane. Some of the posters here really know jack about how guys think. Then again, that might be part of the reason why they're here -- either that or there's just not enough pre-op transsexual women for them to date.  | |
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| If I was a real woman
Posted: 7/6/2008 7:50:48 PM | | I understand how you feel. Some people are just oblivious. Write him off as an idiot. If he's that dense about simple things, he won't improve with anything more complex. | |
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| If I was a real woman
Posted: 7/6/2008 8:15:09 PM |
The OP is not happy with the body he has
heh arseo772, the op has made a clear choice and if you cant respect that choice then keep your thoughts to yourself. She asked a question which may of been a bit naive, most of us whether female or male would assume the op was been ignored and so she should move on. | |
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| If I was a real woman
Posted: 7/6/2008 8:18:08 PM |
don't expect the world to salute you on your ill-advised decisions. He ought to be happy that a guy would be willing to date him in the first place. It would be a non-starter for me and I daresay nearly all men. That I even have to say this is amazing; that it would be attacked as unnatural or bigoted is frankly, insane.
With respect to natural, our views on gender and sexuality are socially constructed. There is NOTHING natural about them.
To claim that only YOUR views are natural is indeed narrow minded and points out to lack of knowledge about the ways in which gender/sex/sexuality are viewed in different cultures, or in different historical periods.
No one asked anyone to salute OP.
The question was not about how do you feel about transexual persons, it was a simple question about the guy she was interacting with.
So, to use the term repulsive during this conversation is quite out of line.
You don't have to salute, or even approve of the way OP lives her life... but, throwing insults is not cool either... insults lead to intolerance, which can easily lead to violence.
Rent "Boys Don't Cry" if you don't believe me.
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| If I was a real woman
Posted: 7/6/2008 8:35:29 PM | He's been chatting with you, so I don't think it's a case of your gender. Online dating is just like this for all of us. I was born a woman and here I am single still two years later; still thinking this is a waste of time but oddly amusing as well. | |
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| If I was a real woman
Posted: 7/6/2008 8:43:15 PM | Alot of guys that want to chat can get cold feet when it comes down to actually meeting so I wouldn't necessarily assume it's only because you're a TVS.
While guys lately keep saying they like it when a woman initiates contact, I'm not so sure they'd like the woman pushing for the time or date to meet but I don't know, I'm not a guy so still not sure about the whole "chase" theory thing. Actually, now I'm curious, since you were born a man, do you feel the need to chase a partner? | |
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| If I was a real woman
Posted: 7/6/2008 9:37:55 PM | | Why are you freaking out? Can't you wait a day or a week for him to check his schedule before telling you a time? That's SOP for women, why can't men do the same? | |
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| If I was a real woman
Posted: 7/6/2008 10:09:09 PM | RedCassandra, why the hate-on?
If OP is free to choose his or her gender and take steps to express his or her sexuality in a way that suits him or her, why is it fair to attack the people in this thread who espouse THEIR own sexuality, in ways that suit them?
It's hypocrisy otherwise. Either OP is free to choose his or her sexuality and the other posters in this thread are too, or we should start attacking OP for your attacks on other posters in this thread for expressing their more conventional sexuality. | |
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| If I was a real woman
Posted: 7/6/2008 10:32:53 PM | What does that have to do with being a real woman?
Because the OP is a transexual.
Best of luck to you Lisa01707, but quite frankly I can't imagine that many heterosexual men would want to date a transexual. | |
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| If I was a real woman
Posted: 7/6/2008 11:22:06 PM | Hi Lisa,
It is not rare for guys get suddenly get cold feet. We no longer follow the 1950s rule, "Changing her mind is a woman's privilege." It is anyone's privilege. He changed his mind on you. It happens to almost everyone. A girl did that on me earlier today. We had our first meeting. It went well. We agreed on a second date. And now she's blocked me. Oh well, such is life.
It is not easy at all, but remember there are plenty of fish in the sea. Move on and try not to let it bother you. I'm guessing, but I estimate nobody is truly compatible with more than 1% of the population. That is why we have these websites. Finding a compatible person is darn difficult even for middle of the road ordinary bland people.
I'll add to that, I am 100% certain you'll be more accepted post-op.
Good luck. Remember, plenty of fish in the sea!
- Keith | |
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| If I was a real woman
Posted: 7/6/2008 11:45:45 PM | | Redcassandra was responding to some nasty posts that have been deleted. | |
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| If I was a real woman
Posted: 7/7/2008 12:06:53 AM |
RedCassandra, why the hate-on?
*looks around*
Hate-on?
What are you talking about, dude?
If I had the hate-on, you'd know it... trust me.
If OP is free to choose his or her gender and take steps to express his or her sexuality in a way that suits him or her, why is it fair to attack the people in this thread who espouse THEIR own sexuality, in ways that suit them?
And where did I attack anyone's sexuality?
I don't care who people sleep with or don't sleep with, I don't give a shyte about their sexuality (especially if I am not involved in the way they practice it) but, if someone takes upon himself to label other people repulsive in public forum... yeah, you can bet that I will react to that.
Since you obviously did not understand my point, let me repeat it and this time I will type slowly so there is no confusion:
You don't have to salute, or even approve of the way OP lives her life... but, throwing insults is not cool either... insults lead to intolerance, which can easily lead to violence.
Rent "Boys Don't Cry" if you don't believe me.
Is that clear?
Either OP is free to choose his or her sexuality and the other posters in this thread are too, or we should start attacking OP for your attacks on other posters in this thread for expressing their more conventional sexuality.
What a flawless logic...
I'll make sure to check in later to see how that works...
Once again, I am not telling any of the posters to date/sleep/marry OP, or anyone else... your sexuality is your choice and I don't give a flying fcuk if you are "saved" and want to wait for marriage, or if you sleep with a different woman every night... or diferent guy... None of my business... But, if you preach intolerance in an open forum then you should be prepared to hear reactions. Simple as that.
OT: Some men and some women change their mind... you could always wait a little and see if he is interested later... or move on... up to you.
Best of luck.
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| If I was a real woman
Posted: 7/7/2008 12:22:31 AM |
RedCassandra, why the hate-on?
If OP is free to choose his or her gender and take steps to express his or her sexuality in a way that suits him or her, why is it fair to attack the people in this thread who espouse THEIR own sexuality, in ways that suit them?
It's hypocrisy otherwise. Either OP is free to choose his or her sexuality and the other posters in this thread are too, or we should start attacking OP for your attacks on other posters in this thread for expressing their more conventional sexuality.
This thread is not specifically about peoples "sexuality"\ gender.
all the op is asking is IF shes being ignored, if this guys isnt actually interested and what she should do.
there was no hypocrisy in RedCassandras post. she wasnt insulting people for their sexuality. this is tit for tat.
there shouldnt even be an issue about this persons gender. the other posts i read were insulting the OP. If the OP was gay, would we be telling him/her that he/she got the cold shoulder because this "man" didnt know what he was getting himself into.
If your talking to someone on here you know what their gender & preference is..so i doubt it was to do with that.
regardless this question cannot be answered by us. we can give a hypothesis on what we believe his reasonings to be. but really just asking him if he changed his mind and isnt interested anymore would be a lot easier. | |
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