| What do you miss about your best bud?
Posted: 7/6/2008 5:50:37 PM | and I don't mean your beer... 
Some of my most beloved best friends are in the far corners of the earth, San Jose, Singapore, Mexico, New Jersey... New York.... Paris.
I miss that I don't seen them, and it is impractical or expensive or just the way it is.
I spoke to my soulbrother Robin every single day for years and years, and suddenly life takes over. Can you relate to this? If so what moment touches you and leaves you to reflect them, as time marches on?
One precious anecdote I can share is simply sitting together having coffee and being so comfortable and trusting as Friends that we can easily, effortless and with a genuine sense of openness, suddenly draw strangers beside us, and on surrounding tables into our dialogue, naturally... and all of sudden we have realised that there is almost 25-30 people that are all turned into us and we are hosting the area around us and everyone is sharing this adventure of connecting.
This isn't about 'buying a round', to win a popularity poll, but just that I feel he radiates a warmth and empowers me, so that if I wanted to have light breezy dialogues going around me, with lots of new faces, he was encouraging, and uplifting. Many other times we were private, sharing our latest (mis)adventures or trying to listen, support or counsel each other through Life's tapestry of surprises and shocks.
It was in a Bar called Shooters, under the Arches, in Windsor in 1988... Robin and I were never further from each other than an arms length, we could with an unspoken language of friendship communicate more through the eyes than dialogue, and we knew each other so well that like brother and sister we could clock when we wanted to leave or stay. I remember the evening as if it were today and miss how easily accessible he was before he moved his beautiful family due to work.
Wordless comprehension is one of the qualities I miss, the other is the trust of silence, exquisite when it is between friends who do not need to fill the silence. But most of all I miss the real-time moment of just looking deep into the light that flows from the soul out and connect with your own inner spirit, and simply wishing Time could stand still. | |
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| What do you miss about your best bud?
Posted: 7/6/2008 6:15:26 PM | DUH?
doh, because I wrote about my best friend and he is male, and so I am asking Male's about their best friends, who may be either gender...(hoping they will relate about a special girl) and think it is a great way to find out how much value individuals (men in this case) have placed in platonic relationships around them.
... AND if those relationships have been distanced by time or space or location, what they miss... | |
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sosse
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Joined: 6/18/2007
Msg: 4 | |
| What do you miss about your best bud?
Posted: 7/6/2008 8:59:45 PM | Mme Sphinx,
It may be that we idealists and romanticists wave in the breeze in small numbers, particularly in a crowd where more base discussions prevail. There is a reason why Shakespeare remains popular today, while Bruckner is on the sidelines.
Other than a roommate in college who has long since ceased contact with me, all my best friends are/were females. I had one friend in high school, with whom I shared many intellectual and semi-emotional bonds. She performed the service for my wedding, and we exchanged letters in a sense similar to Goethe and Schiller - pushing ideas for each other and giving advice based on our own personal experiences. She has been dead for 13 years now, but I still reflect on the beauty that was her life and fortunately, I live in the same town as her aging parents. It is still quite a bond.
Another friend I garnered as a pen-pal in Austria when I was eleven. I have visited her and her family for over 30 years now. We initially corresponded in English, then in German, followed by eMail, and now by silent thought. We see each other about once every 5 or 8 years and have weathered studies, marriages, digestive orders and parent's aging. Despite our distance, she defines for me my own ability to have feelings for people that I don't know that well, but, yet, I can still feel pain when they are suffering. She was my first Catholic friend, for whom I gradually began to understand the beauty of her belief and devotion. The last time I was in Austria, I went with her to help her water the plants in the local convent, when the sisters were away on vacation. We both admired the life they led, and she confided to me the rejection she received when she asked to become part of their order after her divorce.
To me the beauty of a relationship that appears to transcend one's own lifetime and being is a testament to the life that God envisioned for us. Truly, I don't think that San Jose and Paris are that far apart. I didn't think that before the internet, either. I still have over 30 letters from each of the friends that I talked about. They are some of my greatest treasures in my life still, and only grudgingly will I allow the internet to supplant that place in my heart. | |
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| What do you miss about your best bud?
Posted: 7/6/2008 9:14:19 PM | I miss my best friends because it's only when I'm with them that I can express to someone else what's really going on inside my heart and head.
Anyone I have to hide aspects of myself from is a mere acquaintance.
That openness, where I can express what I'm thinking and how I'm feeling without any worries, that makes me feel free, and that's the best feeling in the world, like I can confront any obstacle. | |
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| What do you miss about your best bud?
Posted: 5/7/2009 2:04:39 AM | | Some wonderful responses here, Time goes on and friends may scatter far and wide, some are lucky tobe closely located to them. I wonder how this new generation that has so many ways to connect mobile, skype, bebo, friendsruinited, facebook, linkedin, plaxo, ecademy... the list is endless... what difficulties will they experience. All these online means still keep us apart. | |
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| What do you miss about your best bud?
Posted: 5/7/2009 2:14:16 AM | ^^^^ Yep.. there is nothing like breathing the same air, touching a warm hand, sighing the same sigh, gazing in his eyes. Nothing.
It's sometimes the unspoken moments and being in someones presence that makes all the difference.
Cyber words have no inflections, and you can't see the expression in someones eyes when they text them. Reading and listening are two different experiences I think.
I miss my best friend too.. of 43 years. He may as well be on another planet. Life is very different now then from when we were 7.... but if he asked me to go make mud pies today, I would be there in a heart beat. | |
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| What do you miss about your best bud?
Posted: 5/7/2009 7:01:45 AM | | Her name was Mary and she sat next to me in the 5th grade. Once a year they had a dance and the girls would dance with each other and boys would just watch..... except for Mary who asked me to dance. Dancing with Mary was the best. | |
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| What do you miss about your best bud?
Posted: 7/20/2009 9:23:11 PM | Aloha my friend. Sometime we have this journey we call life. Parts of us grow and others die. The trials and tribulations of life that only one knows deep in our hearts and souls…. As we try to work it out. Loving others and ourselves … developing relationships.
Sometimes we have relationships that we must leave others for a little while. But in our hearts they are with us. We pass our notes from one continent to the other via a spirit. Yet that warm embrace might have been lost.
Aloha in the Hawaiian language means affection, love, peace, compassion and mercy. Since the middle of the 19th century, it also has come to be used as an English greeting to say goodbye and hello. The phenomenon called the Aloha Spirit inspired the naming of Aloha Tower, which has greeted vessels to port at Honolulu Harbor since September 11, 1926. I think Aloha would be appropriate in this moment...
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| What do you miss about your best bud?
Posted: 7/20/2009 10:35:32 PM | My best friend is on deployment for the Navy.
I miss partying like a rockstar every weekend with him.
That and our semi-close encounters with the law.
He comes back, and I leave for basic training soon after. Fun shit. | |
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| What do you miss about your best bud?
Posted: 7/20/2009 10:37:47 PM | Ya mean "buds" as a guy with another guy?
I have buds and I can tell them EVERYTHING and they won't judge, just share. And they don't hesitate in calling me a moron if that's the way they feel. And, being guys, we can play racquetball, crash into each other till we see stars in our eyes and consider it fun. I like what you said about "closeness" being contagious. We can draw others into our friendship because they sense something meaningful there. Cutting into each other at Blackies, a local bar, and having complete strangers join into our conversations because they sense that we're having a good time, as buddies.
I've had women buds, too, but then we can't really discuss women, a favorite topic among men, along with sports. And my buds always have my back, and vice versa. I remember being at a concert with my buds and, yes, I got stinking drunk till I puked right there on the table. We were in the military, MPs, we were. My buds dragged me out, no questions asked. A few Screaming Eagles got upset because we ruined their concert experience. A fight commenced and, being incapacitated by the liquor, I can't really say who got the best of the fracas, but the day after, we knew we had each others' backs and we added yet one more story to our experience base of friendship, having survived the ordeal.
I reckon perhaps that there is such a thing as love among men, but it's not a sexual thing but a spiritual thing. I do love my buds.
"Buds" between men and women? That's a different thing, but no less spiritual. The same sense of connectedness is still there, but that's a story for another time .... | |
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| What do you miss about your best bud?
Posted: 7/24/2009 9:27:29 AM | | i miss my friends.. my dad was in the navy so i moved every 3 years to another country or state. i lived in puerto rico, germany,cali, maryland, texas, spain, and virginia. everytime leaving friends to finally make new ones in order to leave them too. i never grew up with anybody but met alot of interesting people. now my new dear friends live in norcal, ny,florida it sux but at least we have phones and internet and memories, i wish i had more pics though | |
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| What do you miss about your best bud?
Posted: 7/24/2009 10:19:18 AM | | Playing video game in those NES/Sega Genesis days! Me and him Player 1 and Player 2 saving the world -sigh- now thats what friendship is all about.. | |
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| What do you miss about your best bud?
Posted: 7/24/2009 2:51:22 PM | | I miss having people to hang out with. My old friends either moved, or we are just different people now. I am working on making new friends, but it takes time. | |
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| What do you miss about your best bud?
Posted: 8/26/2009 1:46:32 PM | I actually have a widespread network of friends around the globe. Til it became common for webcam's to be used yes I missed them dreadfully now. I get on webcam with them and well we see each other ever year or so. Best of both worlds.
OP you might consider investing in one. | |
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| What do you miss about your best bud?
Posted: 8/26/2009 3:32:45 PM | My best bud was the first person I met when I moved into uni halls.. We then lived together for the next 3 years.
We would hang out, get drunk, go to bars/clubs, watch movies all that kinda stuff. So many great memories of them 3 years just with that one guyalone.. ahhh the laughs we had..
He has since moved to the other side of the world and I miss doing all the stuff we used to do. You do something or watch something and you just know what he would say or how much fun it would be if he was around.
I'm not ashamed to admit it, I really do miss him.. Yeah women came and went but nobody came close to my mate.
It's having somebody around who you can go hang out with, go do stuff with and you've not gotta worry about how you act, what you say.. Someone you know you can rely on.
One day I hope we will again share a house, even though that is very unlikely. The best I guess that will happen now is that we both live in the same country and hang out perhaps once a month..... And that really does suck. But still, the memories of the 3 years we hung out are absolutely awesome! | |
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| What do you miss about your best bud?
Posted: 8/26/2009 4:18:48 PM | | Talking about chicks and chasing them. Try to score with each other in terms of chicks. But now he is in Germany married with 1 kid and I am in the US married and expecting. We grew up but still have those ol'days memories that look crazy now. | |
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