| Sex on a schedule...would you/have you?
Posted: 7/6/2008 7:23:03 PM | I searched and couldn't find a similar thread, so here goes.
I like sex to be a little spontaneous myself, but will admit that due to personal schedules sometimes things can take place on a fairly predictable basis.
One of my bowling teammates told me that right before his first and second marriages he told both women that he expected sex from them "three times a week and a bl*w job on Saturday".
Another friend called Mondays, Bl*wjob Day because that's how her husband of 20+ years likes to start his work week.
So my question is, how do you feel about the thought of your SO dictating when and where the intimate side of your relationship will take place? Have you ever dictated to your SO the same thing? Do you regularly schedule erotic "adventures" with your SO just to keep things interesting? | |
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| Sex on a schedule...would you/have you?
Posted: 7/6/2008 7:26:34 PM | | At thit time, I suppose I dictate due to my parent schedule. If I were to be in a long term relationship living with someone hopefully we would be on the same page as to frequency, etc. and there would be no reason to dictate. But, sure, planning "dates" always keeps it interesting in a long term, living together relationship. | |
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| Sex on a schedule...would you/have you?
Posted: 7/6/2008 7:31:31 PM | I guess if you still find sex fulfilling when your partner isn't really into it and is only giving you a bj or having sex with you because you have an appointment, yea...sounds great. In the long run tho, I think prostitutes are less expensive then wives, aren't they?
What I'd love to know is if there was a day set aside for his oral duties to be done also or if only her "job duties" were scheduled in.
In other words, WTH kind of sex life is that?? Can you tell I don't like the sound of your bowling teamate and think he sounds like one hell of a selfish guy and am wondering what woman in her right mind would marry the guy?
Oh and before you start thinking that I just must not enjoy sex, I absolutely LOVE it but if it became a chore...I think I'd see it a bit differently and to me the most enjoyable part of sex is giving and receiving pleasure *willingly*. | |
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| Sex on a schedule...would you/have you?
Posted: 7/6/2008 7:32:00 PM | When I was married I had to hope and pray that my ex would be in the mood on Sat, I looked forward to it, and held back thoughts of absolute frustration.
Then it became less and less frequently (isn't this supposed to be a man telling the tale?)
Went it spread to only 6 months a yr I was done. Of course that weren't our only problems, but it was one that still sticks in my mind in consideration of another partner.
Mondays are bl0w j0b day? Geez I thought most guys would think everyday was bj day...Go figure...
As for the question, I like to inquire rather early a persons thoughts on sex, yep it is because of my marriage, and I am not ashamed to say so.
I can understand if a person works out of town and only has certain days that they can be with their SO, but I wouldn't take to kindly to someone dictating some sort of schedule, unless it was at least everyday and three times on Friday and Sat... | |
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| Sex on a schedule...would you/have you?
Posted: 7/6/2008 7:35:17 PM |
but I wouldn't take to kindly to someone dictating some sort of schedule, unless it was at least everyday and three times on Friday and Sat...
^^^ Well said.   | |
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| Sex on a schedule...would you/have you?
Posted: 7/6/2008 7:43:46 PM | Anyone I date I'm really into or I wouldn't be with him (and vice versa) to the point where anytime is a good time, so it's rare either of us wouldn't be in the mood. The only thing that might have to be scheduled is when not to have sex so we can get other things done.
But usually it's on my timetable - I want it when I want it, and I'm none too happy if I don't get it a certain number of times a week - if the number drops too low, there had better be a good reason THAT WEEK. It's also silly for me to starve within a relationship when there's no need to. If a guy doesn't like a lot of sex, we're mismatched - but I am sure I could go elsewhere and take some off his hands so he doesn't feel so pressured.
So far, no men have had a problem with this....most can keep up pretty well. | |
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| Sex on a schedule...would you/have you?
Posted: 7/6/2008 7:50:31 PM | "What I'd love to know is if there was a day set aside for his oral duties to be done also or if only her "job duties" were scheduled in."
Red - As far as I know neither guy had a scheduled "reciprocation time". As to my teammate, he's currently single. Go figure. As for the other couple, they're still together after 25 years, she still loves him, and she claims he's still great in the sack, so obviously something is working in their relationship. | |
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| Sex on a schedule...would you/have you?
Posted: 7/6/2008 7:56:01 PM | I'm going to guess because it sounds more like the woman married 25 yrs considered Monday the day for it because she knew how much it meant to her husband and she *wanted* to give that to him.
In the other scenario, it sounds more like the guy was just dictating exactly how it was to be and while I am all for letting a potential life long partner know what you would like, feel is needed by you, etc sexually, to tell them on what days and exactly when it's expected seems insane to me and not like a very balanced nor healthy relationship. | |
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| Sex on a schedule...would you/have you?
Posted: 7/6/2008 7:56:17 PM |
When I was married I had to hope and pray that my ex would be in the mood on Sat, I looked forward to it, and held back thoughts of absolute frustration. Then it became less and less frequently (isn't this supposed to be a man telling the tale?) Went it spread to only 6 months a yr I was done. Of course that weren't our only problems, but it was one that still sticks in my mind in consideration of another partner.
My ex was te same way i stayed never cheated i guess becuase of her non practice in the relationship she accused me of cheating but like you also i talk about it pretty early just becuase i dont want stuck in the same situation
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| Sex on a schedule...would you/have you?
Posted: 7/6/2008 8:02:06 PM |
how do you feel about the thought of your SO dictating when and where the intimate side of your relationship will take place?
Great, as long as I could dictate to him when and where he'd pay all the bills, do the housework and cook all of my meals...have at it!
Seriously, I would really wonder why he would feel the need to dictate anything. I'm not a prostitute...if you ask then hey, great! And seeing that I'll probably be MORE in the mood than he might (I know myself) then what?
Have you ever dictated to your SO the same thing?
No...I have not. If I have to tell you that we need to have sex then something is very wrong with our relationship. Although I have had to beg in the past--then when I got it I was like wow...that sucked. (isn't it usually the man saying this???0 | |
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| Sex on a schedule...would you/have you?
Posted: 7/6/2008 8:41:34 PM | LOL.................this is just too funny...... :)
Id have no hesitation in telling HIM i wanted it on the hour ,every hour......
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| Sex on a schedule...would you/have you?
Posted: 7/6/2008 9:35:42 PM | Yes.
When I come home
When I wake up from my nap before I go do errands/clean house/work on my art
When I fall asleep again
When I get up for the rest of the evenning
Before I shower for work/or after I shower because I can always shower again
and on my "weekend" (which is actually in the middle of the week) I'll make sure that we get all our errands and other things to do on work days so we can just shut the door and play until we're starving or thirsting and after taking care of that.... we can go back in the room again.
Sorry if I'm so predictable. | |
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| Sex on a schedule...would you/have you?
Posted: 7/6/2008 9:40:35 PM | ~OP~ That made me giggle. I called a friend one night, impromptu, and asked if they (she and her spouse) would like to go out. They declined because it was "steak and blow job" night.
Schedule? Good heavens NO. Not in this lifetime for me. I did see a special a few years ago about a couple who entered a legally binding contractual agreement about their entire relationship (not marriage, attached to the marriage) and it covered everything from what gas was purchased for the cars to their sexual interactions. They were 10 years in on that contract and hadn't had ONE disagreement. Must work for some people.  | |
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| Sex on a schedule...would you/have you?
Posted: 7/6/2008 10:07:47 PM | A routine is okay. I can understand that contraints from jobs and other things may limit what is a good time to have sex, so eventually a certain routing is established.
A schedule is out of the question. I can't even get out of bed the same time every day, so forget it. | |
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| Sex on a schedule...would you/have you?
Posted: 7/7/2008 4:31:36 AM | Yeah i set my alarm for the middle of the night so we can wake up and have sex lol.
It wouldnt bother me, i want sex all the time anyway, so anytime my boyfriend wanted it, id want it... And 3 times a week?? 12 sounds better. | |
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| Sex on a schedule...would you/have you?
Posted: 7/7/2008 5:28:23 AM | Sex on a schedule is what would "Blow" on a Monday or any other day.
If you were to schedule sex, you are defeating one of the basic purposes of it all.....Spontaneous mutual pleasure.
The only worse thing next to scheduled sex would be to not ever have sex at all.
Why settle for the second to worse thing though, when you can hit the jackpot most times??? | |
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| Sex on a schedule...would you/have you?
Posted: 7/7/2008 6:27:24 AM | the only "schedule" i can think of is when he tries to get some, we get it going, and i plant the bomb, *oh ya, btw, i'm on my rag*...hahahahahaha. i do that a lot actually...tis quite frustrating for him =p
anywho...so since he's already "blue balled", he would just say, "i'm so gonna fcuk you in a wk (after my rag". it's just for the hell of saying things, cuz either way, 90% of the times we see each other, when we find a room, it's on! | |
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| Sex on a schedule...would you/have you?
Posted: 7/7/2008 6:44:43 AM | "Blowjob Day"....come on! Not very romantic and seems more like "performing on command".
Spontaneity is the way to go............. | |
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| Sex on a schedule...would you/have you?
Posted: 7/7/2008 7:35:53 AM | I don't like sex to be programmed / premeditated/scheduled or assumed . If it happens it happens , but I don't think it should rule the brain. Scheduled sex is just that scheduled.....Where's the making love bit?  | |
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| Sex on a schedule...would you/have you?
Posted: 7/7/2008 10:13:52 AM |
My ex was te same way i stayed never cheated i guess becuase of her non practice in the relationship she accused me of cheating but like you also i talk about it pretty early just becuase i dont want stuck in the same situation
Well Samman, that is a good thing, I didn't cheat either, however at this age I am not interested in spending the rest of my life in that kind of frustration.
He never accused me of cheating, because he knew I was tied down with to much responsibility and no time to ruin my own self dignity to cheat.
It is amazing how some people find talking about sex which is a perfectly natural human function as such a dirty, filty, low class topic. I don't know about you, but I don't find myself getting all that descriptive, just a general topic that gives me an idea on how they think of sex/love making, and their expectations on the matter.
This is communication, and if more people communicated their expectations and desires prior to really getting involved with another. Certainly seems it would make for more successful connections, instead of this hit and miss that people so often do, because they are afraid to talk about adult issues.. | |
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