| How to Make Your Next Relationship Work...
Posted: 7/6/2008 11:31:14 PM | | This is just a little piece of advice from a girl who didn't follow her own advice - DON'T IGNORE THE RED FLAGS!!!! They are there for a reason and should not be swept under the rug. I just spent two years doing that and ended up with nothing but multiple gold stars on those red flags. It's ok though, I now WILL follow my own advice, I know that there are so many beautiful and honest men and women out there...YES there are :) Hold your head high and know that broken hearts DO mend. Try not to hold the next person you are with responsible for someone else's wrong doing. Fresh starts are good. Good luck everyone, I believe true love really does exist :) we'll find it!! | |
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| How to Make Your Next Relationship Work...
Posted: 7/7/2008 1:59:18 AM | I agree totally and have said this for a long time. People dont look at the actions, they look at the intentions and hear the words.
I've seen people get cheated on and then they say,"but he said he'd never do it again, and he loves me." Well cheating isn't love.
Character is when proper actions meet proper statements. | |
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| How to Make Your Next Relationship Work...
Posted: 7/7/2008 3:34:45 AM |
Try not to hold the next person you are with responsible for someone else's wrong doing.
Yeah i should take that advice.. i had a nasty relationship before the one im in now, and i do take things out on my boyfriend that arnt his fault! :( Ill try my best not to !!:) | |
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| How to Make Your Next Relationship Work...
Posted: 7/7/2008 7:30:20 PM | Wonderful advice. and you are so young. If you follow it you will have a long and
happy life. I just had a bad experience and I would say don't enable anyones bad behavior. Good for everyone!! Excelent thread  | |
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| How to Make Your Next Relationship Work...
Posted: 7/7/2008 7:32:16 PM |
DON'T IGNORE THE RED FLAGS!!!!
Absolutely!!! But oh so hard to do; especially if it is someone You care about.
Red flags are there for a reason. Imagine that they are there to clue you in on what is best for you, and even more so on what is Not best for you. And in turn, they are what is best/not best for the other also, so you are not only doing yourself a favor, but a favor to the other. | |
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| How to Make Your Next Relationship Work...
Posted: 7/7/2008 7:58:40 PM | ^^^^^ Ha haha, I have Waaay too many to list.
My biggest though is a woman that has sex with another man. That usually means that she is already in a relationship, No thanks. Sometimes a woman explores her sexual side,,, casually so to speak, No thanks. Ever had sex with anyone I know, like a roommate or friend or even the guy down the street, No thanks.
But, I am a prude and I think that many women are loose tramps. But, that is me, and it is unacceptable. I want a woman that I can respect, which is incredibly hard to find.
Did I mention that I have many other red flags? | |
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| How to Make Your Next Relationship Work...
Posted: 7/7/2008 8:18:30 PM | Guys who say how much they care for you on a first date ... or I love you way tooo soon!!
Guys who refuse to argue/discuss/'allow' you to disagree with them [they usually don't see themselves doing this either]
Dude....just wondering... if a woman has had sex with the same number of partners as you .... is she a slut? Are you saying you are looking for a virgin? | |
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| How to Make Your Next Relationship Work...
Posted: 7/7/2008 8:34:26 PM | DON'T IGNORE THE RED FLAGS!!!!
That's fine, until you get to the point where you are so paranoid that EVERYTHING becomes a red flag.
He didn't come over this weekend: RED FLAG, he's married!
He's an hour late coming home from work: RED FLAG, he's cheating!
He wanted sex on the first date: RED FLAG, he's a sex pig!
He didn't want sex in the first month: RED FLAG, he's gay!
He said "I love you" after the first month, or said "I miss you" and I saw him yesterday: RED FLAG, he's a psycho.
He took his mom to the hospital for surgery and stayed with her: RED FLAG, he's a mamma's boy!
He paid for our entire date: RED FLAG, he's a control freak!
He wanted to go dutch for our date: RED FLAG, he's a bum!
I had a low-cut top on and he looked at my cleavage twice: RED FLAG, he's a pervert!
I found a Playboy in his drawer: RED FLAG, he's a porn freak!
He sent me two e-mails wanting me to take him back: RED FLAG, he's a stalker!
Try not to hold the next person you are with responsible for someone else's wrong doing. Fresh starts are good.
Now, I WILL agree with that. My ex was in bad relationships before we met, and I always felt like I was paying for THEIR mistakes. Just let the baggage go - the next person is NOT the person you were with before. | |
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| How to Make Your Next Relationship Work...
Posted: 7/7/2008 8:46:19 PM |
Dude....just wondering... if a woman has had sex with the same number of partners as you .... is she a slut? Are you saying you are looking for a virgin?
That would be very few, and a virgin would be hypocritical of me wouldn’t it. A nice thought though.
There is a difference in being in a loving relationship and having a quick turnaround. I would not fault a woman for having made an attempt at love, unless it happens over, and over, and over. A woman that is a bar hopper, does friends with benefits, or has sex just to feel better for a while, would not do. I would feel disgusted, lose interest, and pull away.
I believe that as the number of partners grow, the meaning and emotions of sex lessen dramatically, to a point where anyone that is cute and not too much a pain in the ass will do.
Plus like what the others say, confusion of reality happens. I wouldn’t want a woman to merge her past experiences into our relationship. It is a mind thing as much as a physical thing. People become too unstable to hold a relationship for a lengthy time. | |
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| How to Make Your Next Relationship Work...
Posted: 7/7/2008 11:43:53 PM | mthomjmark said...
Character is when proper actions meet proper statements.
This is absolutely true.
You really have to pay attention to your feelings. If your SO behaves in a way towards you that causes you emotional pain (I.E. actions speak louder than words), you need to recognize it. Don't ignore it! That emotional pain you are feeling is the red flag! Trust your gut!
And if your gut is constantly churning then perhaps it is time to move on... | |
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| How to Make Your Next Relationship Work...
Posted: 7/8/2008 7:57:35 AM | well i agree red flags are somethign to watch out for . i think what happens to some of use as we have been single for so long were maybe tryign really hard to find someone that we ignore them or think that in the end they won't matter .
but i think if the red flags are ignored the chance of geting burned by other person increases alot . | |
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| How to Make Your Next Relationship Work...
Posted: 7/8/2008 8:11:15 AM |
That's fine, until you get to the point where you are so paranoid that EVERYTHING becomes a red flag.
You got that right!
My ex did this, my ex did that: God, I am sick of hearing it! The way you make a relationship work is to keep your mouth shut instead of looking for every tiny little fault you can find. Women aren't perfect either. | |
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| How to Make Your Next Relationship Work...
Posted: 7/8/2008 9:50:17 AM | oh PRUDE is it? i was wondering what the male equivalent of myself would be called. lol but its ok with me call me what you will - fellow prudes - i salute you  | |
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| How to Make Your Next Relationship Work...
Posted: 7/8/2008 9:58:54 AM | | If you were in the hospital wouldnt you want him to stay there with you? I respect a man more if he takes care of his mother. A man who dosent respect his mother could be trouble. | |
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| How to Make Your Next Relationship Work...
Posted: 7/8/2008 10:13:32 AM |
This is just a little piece of advice from a girl who didn't follow her own advice - DON'T IGNORE THE RED FLAGS!!!! They are there for a reason and should not be swept under the rug. I just spent two years doing that and ended up with nothing but multiple gold stars on those red flags. It's ok though, I now WILL follow my own advice, I know that there are so many beautiful and honest men and women out there...YES there are :) Hold your head high and know that broken hearts DO mend. Try not to hold the next person you are with responsible for someone else's wrong doing. Fresh starts are good. Good luck everyone, I believe true love really does exist :) we'll find it!!
with THAT attitude, Pumpkin, it almost doesn't matter whether you find it or not ecause you've already got a great relationship with YOURSELF which is where all good relationships start anyway. | |
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| How to Make Your Next Relationship Work...
Posted: 7/8/2008 10:18:44 AM | | jessiefl - I will have to agree with you, you know the old saying Watch how a man treats his mother, that is usually how he will treat you. | |
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| How to Make Your Next Relationship Work...
Posted: 7/8/2008 10:26:13 AM | Normally I try to avoid the forums, mostly because there are so many diverse opinions for every subject, and as we know.....you can't please everyone no matter how hard you try. But hey, there it is.....every time you logon, first thing you see....the latest collection of forum posts.
So here's a bit 'o wisdom given to me many years ago by a then 91 year old woman who was still sharp as a tack, and someone who I've always considered a true friend. She said "imagine we're all asexual; no male, no female. Just human beings. Now apply that concept to everything. The world's problems are solved."
That might not sink in for everyone right away, but the more you think about it, the more it makes sense. Happy fishing to everyone. ;-) | |
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| How to Make Your Next Relationship Work...
Posted: 7/8/2008 12:18:42 PM | He didn't come over this weekend: RED FLAG, he's married!
He's an hour late coming home from work: RED FLAG, he's cheating!
He wanted sex on the first date: RED FLAG, he's a sex pig!
He didn't want sex in the first month: RED FLAG, he's gay!
He said "I love you" after the first month, or said "I miss you" and I saw him yesterday: RED FLAG, he's a psycho.
He took his mom to the hospital for surgery and stayed with her: RED FLAG, he's a mamma's boy!
He paid for our entire date: RED FLAG, he's a control freak!
He wanted to go dutch for our date: RED FLAG, he's a bum!
I had a low-cut top on and he looked at my cleavage twice: RED FLAG, he's a pervert!
I found a Playboy in his drawer: RED FLAG, he's a porn freak!
He sent me two e-mails wanting me to take him back: RED FLAG, he's a stalker
This list makes no sense at all, the guy is doomed from jump with you | |
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