| couple questions
Posted: 7/7/2008 6:20:08 AM | First off what do i need to add or take out of my profile? Two do women like to be messaged first . Should it be short and sweet with a little descriptions. What is it i have not gotten maybe two hits in what seems like 8 months.Also should you add some one in your favorites and then message right after or could you wait some time.
Profile
http://www.plentyoffish.com/member1057118.htm | |
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| couple questions
Posted: 7/7/2008 6:36:22 AM | Oh boy. This needs some work.
A couple of initial thoughts. Your main picture appears very different from your other photos. Perhaps choose another photo as your main and keep the main you have now as a gallery shot. I am not really too keen on any of the other photos (I think I sprained my neck trying to look at the sideways one). Maybe have a friend take some better pics.
As it stands, there is no reason for anyone to email you. Everything you say is generic. Please go to the Profile Tips thread at the top of this forum and read it. Lots of helpful advice there.
Come up with three paragraphs.
1. Who you are
2. What you enjoy, hobbies, dreams, etc.
3. Describe the woman/relationship you are seeking
Come back and bump this thread for more help.
In the meantime, if you aren't getting any mail, remove your email restrictions. You can always self-screen unwanted contacts.
Put some effort in a rewrite and come back for some more help. OK?
Good luck. | |
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| couple questions
Posted: 7/7/2008 7:11:53 AM | | I have put things like that in their and i was told to change it to what it is know.I do need a new picture.But i guess those are kind of my better ones i liked.I dont know shakes head... | |
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| couple questions
Posted: 7/7/2008 7:30:27 AM | The only thing confusing here is your last post!
Did someone order whine? There is no whining in online dating.
I am not sure who told you to do what, but I do know if you take a little of the offered advice here, you will have a significant improvment on the profile you have now.
It takes some effort, man. Or you can sit and mope. Your choice. | |
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| couple questions
Posted: 7/8/2008 5:27:15 AM | | Ok did some changes what should i leave out or re word or add. | |
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| couple questions
Posted: 7/8/2008 8:15:26 AM | Well, Daniel, it looks like you have some more content but it is a fragmented mess right now. Let's try this. Remember the paragraphs I told you about above? Read each sentence and decide whether it goes in one, two or three. Put the number at the end. If a paragraph number doesn't fit, leave the sentence out. Chances are it is fluff.
Let's take the first paragraph for example. Sentence one does not fit. Leave out. Sentence two fits in paragraph two (we can reword this later once everything is in it's proper place). Keep going. It won't take long and you gotta love the cut and paste feature.
I know you are probably thinking you aren't in school, no grade is involved. But hey, this is your one chance to present yourself online. Why not at least present a neat and tidy glimpse of you? It will make it easier for your reader and I promise it will at least do no harm.
Give it a try. Post back.
Oops, I almost forgot. Rotate your pics to display properly before uploading and take a good, solid face shot of you smiling, dammit! | |
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| couple questions
Posted: 7/9/2008 6:18:08 AM | | I think i have done it other then the pictures. I am having issues with photoshop and i can go through anyother source because i can save. I might go through a friend instead , Thanks for the Help on this. | |
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| couple questions
Posted: 7/9/2008 7:09:15 AM | Don't worry about getting all the tweaks done at once. Your profile can be your work in progress.
So I am going to take what you have now and just juggle it a bit to give it some more fluidity. The comments in parenthesis are my suggestions. Take them or ignore them, but be sure to delete them!
Hello I am what you might call an “Amateur” at dating and relationships. (take this out~don't let them see the fear in your eyes!)
I drive (not sure why this is here) and I work (doing what?). I am a good person,loyal, passionate, great to be around. (can you describe this? How are you passionate? Good? Loyal?) I love to see people having a good time (doing what?). I love all sorts of music: Rock, Techno, Country , Industrial , whatever sounds good, I like it!
I love movies some day would like to be in production on a major film. Movie types I like horror, comedy, action/adventure, indies and even some romantic, chick flicks. I also love Carnivals and Amusement parks (which rides, what do you like?). I warn you that I do play an occasional video game but not a lot, so no worries. I do like to get outdoors and I love to walk and ride bikes. Someday, I would like to learn to ride a four wheeler or go horseback riding. I hope this sounds good to you, too.
Next year it is back to school for me. I plan to take either Computer networking or Automotive technology. My dream, though, is to take a video production class.
I am looking for that spontaneous girl who doesn't mind taking her time to get to know me. Most of my charm takes a while to surface and I am often mistaken for an outsider before someone has the chance to really get to see the real me. I love a girl who can get dirty and doesn't mind her hands messy. I like an outdoors type who can just have fun being in nature, either doing nothing sitting near a lake or diving in for a swim.
I tried to keep as much of your original text as possible, but just rearranging a bit to give things a better flow. Feel free to use any, all or none at all.
Once we get the syntax down, we can polish up the contents further. Hopefully others will chime in with their thoughts as well.
Good luck and good job hanging in! | |
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| couple questions
Posted: 7/19/2008 5:53:37 AM | ok i did this but im still working on the pictures.Some odd reason i cant smile when i do it looks dorky... | |
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| Couple answers
Posted: 7/19/2008 6:43:01 AM | Dan, in your pics, you look angry. If you are taking self-portrait timer shots, it might help to put on some comedy audio and listen to that while posing. ("If you fall out of that tree and break your leg, don't come running to me." --Bill Cosby) Or find a friend to push the button for you, a cheerful person who will crack jokes and get you looking like you are happy and fun to know.
Please run spell-check on your text. You might try pasting it into Word or a similar program, checking things, then pasting into your profile. Misspelled words (biking, this is where, themselves, you're, breeze) and the comma spacing suggest that you're not serious about this. A profile is not an instant message where it's tolerable to hit the wrong keys. "I" should always be capitalized. A word processing program will find most of those grammar and punctuation issues and bring them to your attention. (Yeah, this might seem nit-picky, but keep in mind that your potential fishie might look at your profile for a while. You want to make things look as neat as possible, providing no reasons for her to click the BACK button.)
Your text lists a lot more interests than your interest list. Feel free to move them up there, where they'll turn into clickable links that a fish could search for. For instance, roller coasters. Get that into your interests, then look at your profile and click on it. Up pops a window listing everyone on POF who included them! You can then revise that to find gals nearby within your age range.
The very first sentence gives you an "aw shucks, I'd rather go to the dentist" vibe. C'mon, man! Roller coasters! A summer breeze! Music! Dancing! Fun fun fun! How about leading off with your "good person" sentence, and put the truck & retail statement lower down. (If you go to Search, and reverse the man/woman stuff so that you are looking for yourself, you'll get to see how your first sentence comes across, and how your main pic contrasts with other local fellows. This can be quite enlightening.)
You'll get some more reviewers chiming in (we've been on holiday) so be sure to check back after your revisions.
HTH | |
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| Couple answers
Posted: 7/22/2008 5:46:39 AM | Ok did some more changes i hope their changes lol | |
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