| what do you think, is he/she flirting with others online
Posted: 7/7/2008 2:23:49 PM | I realize when I read this, it was just bad timing so of course it got me a little bit upset. I just had a disagreement/arguement/what ever you want to call it, with my special someone. Because my laptop is out of commision, I had to go to the comp. lab on campus to do some work. After getting the info that I needed I decided to check out pof in which case I happen to come across a response from my special someone expressing that he thought another member was Super Hot!!!! With each response, pof also records the time which happened to be when I left.
Knowing the chances of him reading this is EXTREMELY HIGH, I want to let it be known I love you very much and trust you so don't think I'm accusing you of anything.  It just made me wonder about other pof memebers..... if you were in a realationship and you came across your special someone commenting about another pof member (looks ), how would you handle it? Would you think he/she was doing some harmless flirting but ment nothing behind it or would you get upset about it? | |
|
| what do you think, is he/she flirting with others online
Posted: 7/7/2008 3:07:56 PM | 1) What was the location of the person he flirted with.
2) How long have you been dating?
3) I think it comes down to trust.
4) Now, he knows you can check up on him .
5) Good luck, without trust you have nothing. | |
|
| what do you think, is he/she flirting with others online
Posted: 7/7/2008 3:38:15 PM | Listen- your 38 years old. You two met and you like each other.
Unless you have a forum addiction like I do- stay off the dating sites and
do your relationship thing.
Me? - I would freaking choke him. Screw that. I dont give a shit. If he
looks at women in the real world I dont care but here you are so tempted
to make contact. Unless your love is as strong as kryptonite I
think if you cant handle it either share a profile and make it both of yours
or get off.
blah blah blah trust- yeah okay. Trust is not a brick wall. It does not stop
people from doing what they are going to do. You can trust until the cows
come home and when that trust is broken you feel like an asshole.
To avoid temptation you dont have it there sitting on the table to
grab some of it out of the candy jar.
I like the way you apoligized to him if he sees it. Interesting that you feel
you did something wrong and he may get mad and you have to reinstate
you trust him. This is a thinly disquised call for help on your part.
Le him see it- let your feelings be know- you care about him. Rock
the boat. | |
|
| what do you think, is he/she flirting with others online
Posted: 7/7/2008 3:48:20 PM | Please let me repeat this I was not "checking up on him", I just happen to find his response.Both of us have stated in our profiles that we're not on this site for dating purposes anymore just forums/friendship. Anybody can find out what forums a member has commented on just by clicking on their profile. I know that when I'm not feeling so hot whether it's because of a cold or just having a bad day, shall we say "I can misunderstand certain actions or comments" (everybody does it). Yes I'll admit at first glance it did upset me a little bit BUT insted of going all ~B*** with a Hachet~ I waited a bit, worked on some other stuff, then I posted this question. I know that he loves me and I do trust him. Heck, if he never made a comment about other women I would start to worry. lol He's only human. Just because he already owns a car doesn't mean he can't look at the newer models. If your a Jeff Dunham (Walter) fan, you'll understand that comment.  | |
|
| what do you think, is he/she flirting with others online
Posted: 7/7/2008 3:56:36 PM | ^^^^ Then why did you post this because I guarantee if this thread
lives others will come on here and accuse you of tapping his stuff and
accuse you of being insecure, just by your apology to him.
Let me tell you something- I dont sugar coat and I know when Im
being bullshitted- I may not act on it all the time but your
backpeddling in case he sees this.
Stand up girl- tell him how you feel. No- you dont like it and that
does not make you a bitch- it makes you a woman who cares
deeply for a man. You want to be the HOT one in his eyes.
Okay Im done. | |
|
| what do you think, is he/she flirting with others online
Posted: 7/7/2008 4:20:15 PM | | I'm not sure, I think I would be upsit yes. It is just too easy to flirt and meet people online. I have a hard time trusting anyone that is online for that reason. I think both of you would be better off just deleting your profiles at this point. I am here for the forums myself but if my guy wanted me to delete it , then yes I would. | |
|
| what do you think, is he/she flirting with others online
Posted: 7/7/2008 4:25:30 PM | Ok, in Jeff Dunham terms...he just ran to the end of his chain barking then when he hit the end of the chain.."YipeYipeYipe"!  Because in a committed relationship that's ALL he can DO!!
Knowing WHICH forum he posted that in would be the big thing. If he posted in a forum where people were Asking if they looked good or not...he probably was just giving out ego boosts to those who he thought looked good.
Now on the other hand, if he's popping out ads for Three-Ways...you MIGHT be a redneck!!!
If he's asking your cousin to join the family...you MIGHT be a Mormon!!  | |
|
| what do you think, is he/she flirting with others online
Posted: 7/7/2008 6:04:32 PM | Again..I gotta ask..why oh why are either one of you on a dating site if you are in a relationship?
I mean sure..you can have a profile on a dating site but if you are seeing someone wouldn't the thing to do be hide the profile so you don't get e-mails from others?
just putting on your profile 'not interested, not looking" still will run the e-mails to you if its in view for other pof users to see.
Curious mind wants to know. | |
|
| what do you think, is he/she flirting with others online
Posted: 7/7/2008 8:18:28 PM | | First of all women will put up with a lot of stuff. Many guys that are with someone are online flirting and talking with other women. Its definitely wrong but so many women blindly trust their man no matter what they do, that they dont stop the behavior. | |
|
| |
| |
| |
oshan
|
Joined: 5/11/2008
Msg: 13 | |
| what do you think, is he/she flirting with others online
Posted: 7/7/2008 11:27:15 PM | OP, this is not 'harmless flirting'....for your 'special someone' (whatever that means) to express that he things another member is Super Hot, is hurtful. You state that you became "...a little bit upset...", I would like to challenge you that you were alot more than a little bit...upset. It seems to me that you would have to be VERY upset to take the time to write this in a forum. Also, when a person is very upset, it is natural and normal to minimize it and try to pretend that it's not a big deal. However, in my opinion this is a very big deal.
Any man who is in a relationship with a woman, is showing great disrespect to that woman if he is going around expressing how he thinks another woman is "Super Hot". To me, that would be disgusting and terribly disrespectful. I would not want a man like that in my life. You deserve better than that...don't you think?
How would I handle it? I would say to him....go and be with that woman you think is Super Hot...we're done...hit the road....take a hike....and don't let the door hit your ass on the way out! It's about self-respect, and the fact of the matter is, if you don't respect yourself and make sure that you are treated with respect, and when you are not, you do something about it. Get rid of disrespectful people in your life to make room for the respectful ones to come into your life. And don't deny how you truly feel when a guy does this kind of stuff...it's hurtful to anyone who is going to be honest about how they feel....and it is not something to brush under the rug.
Good luck, and know that what someone else does is no reflection on who you are...it is only a refelction of who they are! | |
|
| what do you think, is he/she flirting with others online
Posted: 7/7/2008 11:39:38 PM | | There are two different things - trust and respect. It is possible to trust that a man is loyal and faithful and won't stray, and yet he can still disrespect you, his girlfriend, by blatantly commenting on the attractiveness of other women. Some couples are fine with this (with both the woman and the man openly commenting on the attractiveness of other people). If that is the case, there is no disrespect, because neither one would get offended (even if outside people think it's disrespectful). But typically, in more traditional couples, it's a show of disrespect if you are drooling all over other women, because you are supposed to try and make your "special someone" actually feel special over other people. How can you make your significant other feel special if you continue to remark all about every other woman and not her. That's where the disrespect comes in. Anyhow, that's just my opinioin. I'm sure many people will disagree. But all that's important is that I find a man that I want to love that agrees with me on this (shares similar values and expectations in a relationship). Everyone else can have their own way of behaving in their relationships. | |
|
| what do you think, is he/she flirting with others online
Posted: 7/8/2008 12:44:10 AM | oh god, get a clue..... if my S/O was telling someone else that they were HOT ....WTF? come 'on , there is no reason to be 'searching' on a website to tell another person this, unless you wanted to benefit from it..... | |
|
| |
| |
| what do you think, is he/she flirting with others online
Posted: 7/8/2008 8:38:52 AM | Perhaps I am just becoming a little more cynical in my middle age, but here is the thing. I don't quite understand if you are in a relationship, why are either of you on here?
The forums? OK...I understand that to a certain extent. What I don't understand is this, he is in a relationship with you and comments on another woman's "Super Hotness" on a forum that he knows you will read?
A little while ago, I started chatting very intensly with someone here, everyday, multiple times a day, through POF and our personal emails. Not your daily chit-chat, but deep personal stuff. We both knew the other would read our posts since both of us were long time members of the forums that was nothing new. Both of us had even gone as far as to change our profiles to forums only. So one day I'm reading the forums and I come across one where he had responded to a woman asking about sex toys. Well he tells her he would be happy to use one on her and show her how it is done, then I come across another one where he used a line on a woman that he had used with me the night before. Nice. We weren't in a relationship, we had never even met, but you know it bothered me and it made me rethink the whole situation and I am glad I did, turned out he was on numerous dating sites and when I called him on it he revealed his filthy temper. To be fair, I didn't call him on it, I told him what I saw and then I walked away.
This should make you rethink the whole situation too because YOU are in a relationship with this man and for the love of God, why are you apologizing? Stop it. | |
|
| what do you think, is he/she flirting with others online
Posted: 7/8/2008 8:48:55 AM | There is a difference between looking at someone and REACHING out to someone.
He wasn't just looking now was he. He reached out and made contact.
If I had a special someone and they did that. I would definitely call them on it.
But, my thoughts are. If they are reaching out to someone else, that pretty much means that they are done with what they have.
Sorry. | |
|
| what do you think, is he/she flirting with others online
Posted: 7/8/2008 8:52:53 AM | What do you consider "a relationship?" If you're just dating a guy you met on pof, he could still be looking because you're not the end all to his desires and someone better might come along! Everyone is always "looking" unless they have made some sort of commitment to each other, then you really don't even need to be on a dating site anymore. | |
|
| what do you think, is he/she flirting with others online
Posted: 7/8/2008 2:46:03 PM | | I wouldn't think it's a big deal if you two are dating casually, like just getting to know each other but you haven't entered a commitment yet. If you two are going steady (bf and gf) I would say it's a very bad sign. I would never date a flaky girl that did things like that. Just my three cents. | |
|
| what do you think, is he/she flirting with others online
Posted: 7/8/2008 5:12:32 PM | The same thing happened to me and shit did I let him have it. Don't put up with that crap, and don't be embarrassed either. Sometimes these things happen for a reason, someone up there wants you to open your eyes and your mouth. You put up with this now and who knows how far he will go. You have every right to be angry about what you stumbled onto. Have you ever heard of righteous anger? As long as your in control of your temper there is no reason why you can't express yourself.
Good Luck | |
|
| what do you think, is he/she flirting with others online
Posted: 7/8/2008 5:29:30 PM | | OP - I'd say there's a bit of denial going on. It's a bit disrespectful for him to be flirting with other women online if you're all in love and everything. I don't know - is it just me? I'd rather devote the time to making the relationship I'm in hot and steamy instead of engaging in conversations with other "hot" people online. How long have you been together and this is what he is doing? Think about it.... | |
|
| what do you think, is he/she flirting with others online
Posted: 7/8/2008 8:05:19 PM | | Echo, if you are in a committed relationship then reading comments posted by your SO indicating that he finds another member 'super hot' is inappropriate and hurtful - period. He's condemned by this action -- not merely by by looking as you suggest. Of course you're right we all look - but turn it around - would you write someone similarly? IMO, you have a right to feel upset by this. | |
|
| what do you think, is he/she flirting with others online
Posted: 7/9/2008 12:56:13 AM | | Im not sure what id do, because i know he wouldnt do that. Any guy im in a serious relationship with should know what would upset me. Its ok to say other girls are hot but dont say it when im around or where i can read it lol, simple.. | |
|
Home
login 
