| Is this bad enough to warrant name calling
Posted: 7/8/2008 2:15:31 PM | There is this guy. We didnt really know each other that well, but I was very attracted and thoughliked him in other ways as well. To me he is very bad about keeping in touch, though he is very busy. we did get into a little "discussion" about texting and calling I apologized and said I would try an be patient. I honestly couldnt tell the diffference between being "blown off" or purely being busy.
Since that convo, there were a few texst back in forth. Pleasant and talking about getting together and a joke or two ( over a week week and half period time)
Sorry, I hope Im not making this long, just trying to give SOME background
Anyhow, last nite something happened. the police came . It was false. ( long story) and I was a littlupset and mostly wound up. I texted this man to see if he was still up, ( I had tried my best friend with no luck.
I texted ONCE and he writes back was i ok , or crazy. I didnt understand so called him and said to his voicemail that I wasnt sure what he meant. he texts me back saying please dont call or text because I am sick
Maybe he thinks the call was made up by me, he seems not to believe me. and to be honest while i know its suspicious I have a daughter that likes to steal my phone and in the past she has kept dialing until phones ring.
Am I that wrong thinking that was nasty or at the least harsh?? I just wanted to talk and not about anything serious, a distraction you know??
And since I am human and was upset I did a bad thing this morning, couldnt help myself, i sent him a nasty text . Just saying he was an A$$ ;and why was he so important that a simple text or phone call was such an imposition. It could have been easily ignored I would have assumed he was asleep
Thanks in advance, again apologizing for the length  | |
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| Is this bad enough to warrant name calling
Posted: 7/8/2008 2:26:29 PM | | No thats not harsh on his part at. He was sick and trying to sleep and for someone whos probably only half coherent and awake I think thats about as nice as anyone in that state can tell you to bugger off. Why is he an azz, for being sick and wanting to sleep? | |
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| Is this bad enough to warrant name calling
Posted: 7/8/2008 2:35:03 PM | NO he wasnt asleep! or sick
Im sorry if I wasnt clear. he said I was sick as in crazy
and I didnt understand as all I asked if he was up and could talk ( and not one of those talks guys run from :) )
he must have been up if he texted?? andd in the past he would told me if he was tired or sleeping. | |
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| Is this bad enough to warrant name calling
Posted: 7/8/2008 2:35:52 PM | Why is he an azz, for being sick and wanting to sleep?
'cause she didn't know he was sick, obviously. You don't bite someone's head off for not being telepathic.
On the other hand, how late we talkin', here? If you texted him at midnight I could see him being a little peeved, although speaking personally I don't care when you call me. If I'm up, I'll answer - whether it's 11am or 1am.
Im sorry if I wasnt clear.
Oh. Well, in that case, yea. I'd say he was an ass. The real question is, what kind of person are you that you need to be told that people flipping out on you isn't normal? If you're not comfortable with it, you don't have to put up with it. Stop dicking around with a guy who's obviously too busy for you and go find someone else. | |
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| Is this bad enough to warrant name calling
Posted: 7/8/2008 2:38:33 PM | it was around 11ish
and i thought texting was less intrusive , in case he was sleeping
You are right about wasting my time. excuses maybe, but I thought it was me, not being patient enough and I have been out of the dating scene long time. and got , to me some major mixed messages. seemed much different in person | |
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| Is this bad enough to warrant name calling
Posted: 7/8/2008 2:42:57 PM | Ok, I guess that makes a little more sense, ya then what he said wasn't really nice to say. If that warrants calling him an azz, maybe if you want to stoop to his level. Normally I'd just say the hell with it and move on if someone did this to me.
he must have been up if he texted??
Well ya if your text is what woke him up. How late was it? If it's pretty late I do think he has a reason to be upset that you text him (not enough to call you sick, unless this is a repeated thing that is) | |
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| Is this bad enough to warrant name calling
Posted: 7/8/2008 2:43:14 PM |
i thought texting was less intrusive , in case he was sleeping
It is. So, you did the right thing. I probably would have texted back instead of calling at that hour, but otherwise I really don't see you in the wrong here. | |
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| Is this bad enough to warrant name calling
Posted: 7/8/2008 2:46:14 PM | | The whole things sounds a bit middle schoolish. If you are not in a position of being able to call him when you feel like it then it is not much more than a very casual friendship. If you have strong feelings for him and he doesn't for you then you can't steer him in the same direction toward you if he isn't so inclined. From what you describe he views you as an annoyance. From what you describe as your reaction to his I don't suspect you'll ever be talking to this guy again. Let it go an move on. | |
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| Is this bad enough to warrant name calling
Posted: 7/8/2008 2:48:55 PM | I get the feeling that there's something missing from this story... are you sure youd didn't miss some kind of clue along the way that he didn't want to keep in touch with you anymore?
Maybe if he is such a busy guy and your relationship with him is just casual he felt that you texting him in the middle of the night was uncalled for. Is he typically the kind of person that comforts you when you are upset? Somehow I doubt that he is just based on what you have told us about his personality. Maybe, since he is such a busy guy, he was asleep until you texted him. Maybe it was just an angry reaction to be awakened in the middle of the night.
In my experience, unless you are in a relationship with a guy or he is a REALLY close friend, guys only like to communicate when it is necessary. You were expecting a guy who frequently doesn't even keep in touch with you to be available to comfort you in the middle of the night, and apparently he isn't that kind of guy.
Was his approach a little harsh? Perhaps. But perhaps he had been trying to nicely let you know he didn't want to be in that kind of relationship with you for awhile and the subtle hints had gone unnoticed. Maybe that was his way of finalizing things. | |
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| Is this bad enough to warrant name calling
Posted: 7/8/2008 2:52:22 PM | Thank you
Clambroth
- I suspect you are right. Though I would be nicer to a stranger i think , considering what had just happened to me ( If the text would have been ingnored. not so great an issue
ANyhow, it DOES sound middle schoolish, sometimes dating seems middleschoolish to me. all the ways you should act. and I dont mean comon courtesy. I mean people who wait to call to not be to eager. Playing hard to get , but then not to hard etc.etc. Not bagging on men. I know women do it too. seems a bit lame to me. If you like someone , like them , you know. that doesnt mean anything but that at least for me. sometimes a calll is just a call ,probably why I wasnt that populr in highschhool I didnt play the game that well
thanks for the comments | |
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| Is this bad enough to warrant name calling
Posted: 7/8/2008 2:52:57 PM | I wanted to ask if you have ever actually met the guy or if he's just someone you've been chatting with?
From the sounds of the beginning of your post I would have said he's just not interested.
It also sounds like he might already have someone and you almost got him caught. | |
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| Is this bad enough to warrant name calling
Posted: 7/8/2008 2:59:05 PM | anotheramy
Oh there is some more, didnt want to make the text even longer. he was the one who recently got back in touch,( i noticed he viewed me so thought Id say HI, and he wrote back and said wished we could hang out)yes he does seem not a phone person. I was clear I thought in my text that was just checking, and wanted a distraction, so wasnt trying for anything m,eaningful.he has had opportuunities to cut me off much nicer than that
Its ok not to want to talk. I dont think its very nice, if he was that tired could have said later. Why be so nasty about it. I admit i stooped to his level. in person he seemed different.
I dont think most nice people would react so harshly. Annoyed maybe , who isnt when sometimes especially when woken up
blue
Yes I met him. It wasnt anything serious. Obviously :) | |
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| Is this bad enough to warrant name calling
Posted: 7/8/2008 3:19:19 PM | | In my opinion you did nothing wrong and you're right......he is an A$$. You had a rough day and wanted someone to talk to, he was too insensitive to realize that. No more text or calls...be rid of this jerk and move on! | |
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| Is this bad enough to warrant name calling
Posted: 7/8/2008 3:38:15 PM | IMO, it's generally not polite to contact friends and acquaintances after 900PM without a solid justification. Maybe you woke him up, maybe you didn't. I personally tread lightly in this situation, because the next time it might be an emergency, also.
Name calling should be reserved for face -to-face contact. It's very unprofessional, and a waste of good equipment and air time to be so crass using communications gear. | |
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| Is this bad enough to warrant name calling
Posted: 7/8/2008 4:12:46 PM | I've read about five threads today with one occurring theme: text messaging causing confusion. This reaffirms why I absolutely hate that crap. See rule #6. I've killed two phones over it and refuse to partake in it any more. I understand that it can be cheaper than a phone call if you have a limited plan, but c'mon already! Just call.
I'll also take a call whenever. Take that after 9pm BS and give it to the telemarketers. I may not make the most exciting conversation having just been woken up, but at least I'll listen. Sh!t sometimes someone needs that 3am run to be picked up outside of jail when they make bail or have escaped. Who else is gonna pick 'em up?  | |
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| Is this bad enough to warrant name calling
Posted: 7/8/2008 5:31:23 PM | well from my experiences texting is not that productive alot of the time . but can be good idea if you have something short to say and to the point .
as for this experience i think you both need to put your cell phones away and stop texting each other for a while . | |
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| Is this bad enough to warrant name calling
Posted: 7/8/2008 8:26:27 PM | I dont think this man and I will be doing anything, texting or otherwise. A shame, but what can you do.
If I could explain the circumstances fully ( it would take forever ) I have no doubts that the call was warranted, even after 9. I usually try not to call people late unless I know they are nite owls. But my friends can call me anytime even if say it was a new friend or potential date
Ironic thinkg is in the beginning I tried to blow him off. Some home issues,bust etc and he was the one who said HELLO you are on a dating site, why would you be and it you wanted to you would make time . so I did and now he has none. who knows maybe the date was not as good as I thought LOL
thanks again for the comments I didnt expect everyone to agree but sometimes it seems as people get mean when they dont agree with someone | |
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| Is this bad enough to warrant name calling
Posted: 7/8/2008 8:39:45 PM | [we did get into a little "discussion" about texting and calling I apologized and said I would try an be patient. I honestly couldnt tell the diffference between being "blown off" or purely being busy.]
Wow...I wasn't going to post to this but the more I read it the more I had to. There is one part that if I am reading it in context that really got under my skin. But I am going to start here and go back to that in a bit. I'm just going to ask more questions than make comments.
[we did get into a little "discussion" about texting and calling I apologized and said I would try an be patient. I honestly couldnt tell the diffference between being "blown off" or purely being busy.]
In the above statement you used quotation marks on 2 words "discussion" & "blown-off"
Are you saying that it was a big arguement and you questioned his being to busy as not being factual? 
Since you honestly couldn't tell the differnce of him blowing you off or actually being busy by the way he didn't answer the text or calls. (and to be honest he needs to learn to not answer calls differntly for the two) You did the right thing by apoligizing and then even went the extra mile by offering to TRY and be patient. 
Does try and be patient mean ? " If I so choose in the future I will slow down the rate that I fire off alternating text and phone calls to 15 an hour when you can't return my messages because you are busy!!!! "blowing me off." 
[Sorry, I hope Im not making this long, just trying to give SOME background]
In the quoted statement above you capiltilized all the letters in the word "SOME"
Does this mean ? I have left out a few "minor" things due to the limited space and taking in consideration the attention span of these people on POF. I assure you that all information that is important in you making a decision in my favor is here. 
I could keep going through everything else but I really want to get to the part that got under my skin.
It is my opinion that you might look in the mirror before calling anyone an ASS.. My guess is that your statement at the bottom since I am human is screamed through out your post. Just change the word upset to furious.
I honestly believe you might have some anger managment issues.
Its a safe bet to say you are lacking in intergrity.
You have difficulty holding your self resposible for your own actions
You kept apoligizing to us for the length of your post...I WILL TELL YOU WHO YOU SHOULD BE APOLIGIZING TO!!!!! Thats your daughter. The way you wrote about her implies that she is young. So I assume she is. To use the word STEAL your phone is completely APAULING and then you implie that because of her getting the phone it is remotely possible that it was truely her somehow getting a phone to ring(and in this case the same one repeatedly) that got you in the pickle your in with this guy. SHAME ON YOU MISSY..SHAME SHAME
You said you couldn't help yourself....I suggest you get some.
To answer your question is this bad enough to warrant name calling...My answer is NO | |
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| Is this bad enough to warrant name calling
Posted: 7/8/2008 9:03:50 PM | KLS
. I dont know what I was supposed to hold myself accountable for. Except I shouldnt have sent that post. It was one text and while it wasnt the best thing to do, it was pretty mild considering... So the anger naagement thing I dont get... One short text yeah shouldnt have called him a name, but I guess Im wimpy but the sick thing hurt my feelings.
I know Im not perfecxt and I did things wrong, so did he. I cant tell the times he said I will call tomorrow @ .... and not do it many many times. which would be a sign except he did call other times so I assumed he was interested in something, whatever that may be
My daughter is only a toddler, I did not mean steal in such negative way. they are just into everything, the way it is till they learn. I love my daughter so much I dont have words for it. and she did dial it several times before I realised she had it. I dont think he believed me. regardless I was not upset at my daughter, but if it was done to me and I had had someone buggin me I would probably be hesitant to believe
I was apologizing for the length as I have been told [people like brief posts.
The reason I called him an a$$ is not because he didnt call me but because htold me I was sick. and I didnt fire off tons of texts. 1 textto him, a reply I didnt understand, and one text back
I think I was very patient, but who knows maybe not to himbut if you want sepcifics, couple texts on 4th ( back and forth with him
then yesterday the 6th One text , and there was one on july 1st or second
dont think that is excessive.
Doesnt really matter anymore.
I dont mind the opinion, but why have to get so vicious with it? I was not trying to hide anything and I see why you would ask about qty. of texts since that could make huge difference.It is hard to try and get the tone and mood through posting so ... the way you responded I must have sounded totally different than what I intended. | |
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| Is this bad enough to warrant name calling
Posted: 7/8/2008 9:24:56 PM | OP,
He wasn't all that into you. When you previously contacted him several times, it was bugging him and perhaps he began to think it was a bit nuisancy or even a tad stalkerish. The final straw came when you texted him that night....a bit late and about some odd thing about the cops (and I'll wager you used is as a bit of a convenient excuse to call & thus, he sensed even more stalkerish behavior). Note: I said HE sensed it (what you did wasn't stalkerish at all in reality...perhaps a bit clingy though.) That's why he blew. However, the guy was a rude jackass. All he needed to do well before that night was to be HONEST if he didn't have all that much interest in you. You would have known and moved on. Tough luck for him and his dishonesty. Too bad he has no grace....no need to blow like that. All I can say is, "Good riddance to bad rubbish!" | |
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| Is this bad enough to warrant name calling
Posted: 7/8/2008 9:30:09 PM | If your communication with him is/was as convoluted & confusing as you are here then I can understand why he grew tired of it... I can't believe I read the whole thing but then again I'm the type of person to read a thing through to the end once I start it.
We all have knee-jerk reactions from time to time & calling anyone an a$$ is very mild indeed, but please OP, work on your communication skills... my head hurts now...
cata | |
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| Is this bad enough to warrant name calling
Posted: 7/8/2008 11:54:01 PM | Re the Opost
There is something wrong - not right with this "relationship", as described in the Opost and subsequent posts but I cannot put my finger on it. | |
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