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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > 41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!      Home login  
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 Just_Steph
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 1
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!Page 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
I am baffled. I am a 41 year old woman, three teenagers, divorce, the whole nine yards. I joined this site because I am new to the area and thought it would be fun to meet some folks and maybe even go on a date or two (something that hasn't been happening much lately).

Well, more than half of the men who contact me (initiate contact) are barely older than my oldest son! I have 23 and 24 year olds contacting me, talking about a relationship, talking about going out. I just don't get it.

Many have been really nice (I try to answer all my email - a hopeless endeavor, but that is another post) and seem to be trying to be "grown up" but I don't see why they would go after someone my age with kids and who can't have any more when they could go out with girls their own age.

Age is not a big thing for me personally. I would not have a problem dating someone who was younger, even that young (maybe) if he was mature. But it seems that these guys would be missing out on critical things in their lives, a part of growing up. Maybe I am way off base.

I just don't understand why such a young guy would go after someone so much older.

Can anyone enlighten me?
 Timorek
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 2
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41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 7/8/2008 8:30:35 PM
Well it does seem a bit goofy...

It could be a few things:

1) Just sex
2) Everybody is looking for a friendly face to talk to
or
3) 1 and 2 combined.
 Mish_Man
Joined: 1/25/2008
Msg: 3
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 7/8/2008 9:05:07 PM
I'm going with number 1 for a guess and this is the reasoning for it. (Please note that I don't subscribe to the following - just providing a line of thought so to speak; I'm not saying it is either right or wrong)

When girls are in their early 20's, there's a good chance (or at least higher chance) that they're "saving" themselves for marriage. Now, if you follow the reasoning, usually by the time that women are in their 40's, that is gone by the wayside because of failed relationships or marriages. Also, as a younger man, there is the concept that you can learn a thing or two from an older woman. Finally, an older woman (and older people in general) has figured out what she wants to do with her life so there is less chaos.
 afashionlady
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 4
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 7/8/2008 10:32:48 PM
[quoteI just don't understand why such a young guy would go after someone so much older.

They think you're hot...6' tall, a redhead, and from looking at your profile, pretty well put together upstairs(mentally). When a younger guy is interested...I'm flattered!

All I can tell you is don't knock it until you've tried it. There are some very mature younger men in this world. Remember most are probably curious--as one poster said they believe older women know more of what they want (I know I do).

Try something different--talk to one and see what happens. If nothing else, maybe you'll have a friend.
 URLOVEY
Joined: 12/23/2007
Msg: 5
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41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 7/8/2008 10:49:37 PM
I can share my similar experience and opinion...
I am 37, was married for the last 12 years....and am recently single....
I have had them as young as 18 hit on me.....

When I was single for only about 3 months I had met a young man....he showed his interest and I laughed it off. I even tried to set him up with another younger woman....he insisted he was interested in me.

He was well put together, had his own apartment, nice car and good job....So I went for it...He was 24~! We had a lot of fun....for a few months...but he was young, dumb, and full of (well you know the saying) But we had a great time! And although it was me who chose to end it I still feel for him and wonder....But I am grateful for the experience!

Since then I have asked some of the young suitors that approach me (push up on me as they call it) the question....WHY? Here is the answer they give me...

Older women usually have their own place
Older women are more inclined to give oral sex
Older women have less hang ups about sex
They are more experienced
They dont call a thousand times a day
They have their own money, car.....etc....
They dont act like little girls.....

However, with that, they are looking for sex....quality sex......without the drama that younger girls may bring. And if you did get feelings for the young man, and he didnt reciprocate, most likely, you will feel kinda dumb...

If you go for it, have fun, take it for what its worth, get the kid to cut your lawn while he is there too.....But dont expect love.
 Frisky Monkey
Joined: 6/30/2008
Msg: 6
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 7/9/2008 12:04:05 AM
When I turn 41, and some hot young 23 year old starts making a move on me, I'd be praising Jesus, Allah and Buddha... and I'd be checking my wallet.
 maculon
Joined: 5/2/2008
Msg: 7
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 7/9/2008 12:55:40 AM
OP
And your whining about what? The day the don't hit on you is the bad day. Take it with a grain of salt, your problem is likely other peoples wishes. But in the end, it's about the sex, don't fool yourself.

eh
 funblklover
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 8
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41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 7/9/2008 1:36:52 AM
Well my dear hear goes nothing. A lot of younger men like the idea of an older women who is more grounded then women of their same age. Keep in mind it is just a date, unless you are looking for more. Also if you are looking for more then just make that be known upfront. Live for the day since tomorrow is never promised. So if these *young* men enjoy you for being you then age should not matter. Just have fun and enjoy.
 svenn36
Joined: 6/8/2007
Msg: 9
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 7/9/2008 2:00:59 AM
Well this post and the bevy of reply's that follow have been a good read. I found at least some truth in each statement made. Still, it all appears to boil down to that final question.


I just don't understand why such a young guy would go after someone so much older.

Can anyone enlighten me?


At best each person can only speak intelligently about that which they themselves have experienced. Undoubtedly, there will be some degree of commonalities between many of those experiences. Yet, those that haven't had a positive atypical relationship it is difficult to accept the possibility, however remote that may be, one may find that special someone. If you really are not interested than the discussion it somewhat mute; although, if you are interested, you have to ask yourself, would you be content knowing you never gave it a chance. Stranger things have happen. Nevertheless, it's always prudent to act with some degree of caution when dating, especially when speaking about the affairs of the heart.

"You're never too old to become younger." Mae West (1892 - 1980)
 sihtdaeruoynac
Joined: 6/16/2008
Msg: 10
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 7/9/2008 5:13:38 AM
Sounds like these guys are MILF freaks. MILF is what these young guys after these days. Forget the hot girls their age MILF is where it is at. Plus their friends he is cool because he scored with a milf. Obviously a 24 year old will never to ready to get into a serious relatioonship with a 41 year old.
 Rachelle~C
Joined: 6/30/2008
Msg: 11
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 7/9/2008 5:22:42 AM
I would never date someone younger. forget it. They just have this milf fantasy going on in their head , these young guys who contact us.
 Paumanok
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 12
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 7/9/2008 5:41:30 AM

I just don't understand why such a young guy would go after someone so much older.

Can anyone enlighten me?

Sex
 Just_Steph
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 13
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 7/9/2008 6:00:46 AM
It is great to get a woman's perspective. Sure, the guys can speak from the perspective of being a young guy, but a woman's point of view is very enlightening and refreshing.

Hmmm, you may have opened a new door for me...
 JasonGrimm
Joined: 6/9/2008
Msg: 14
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 7/9/2008 6:01:05 AM
2 Answers. 2 Different Guys. 1 is genuine. The other is is not.

1. Is looking for a Sex/MILF fantasy to fulfill
2. Is looking for someone who is more likely to be more mature & intelligent.

All you have to do is look at all the younger immature girls that the guys post about that play head-games and are shallow bathing in nothing but good-looks.

I've gone out with woman much older then me. Although not all older woman are mature and intelligent, the ones I went out with were. It was great. We could actually learn from each other and I didn't have to talk about dumb things to keep her interested! If I walk up to 20 girls in my area, and ask them if they know who Anne Frank is, I'll be lucky to get 2 that know! The only thing most of the girls know around here is MTV and the only music they know is what mainstream radio tells them to listen to.

I like black and white movies. Alfred Hitchcock. Bette Davis. The shows like the Munsters, I Love Lucy, Bewitched, and the Twilight Zone. I like music from The Clash to Frank Sinatra and Nancy Sinatra. I like to go to art shows and the theater to watch live acting and real talent.

And not to mention the fact that older woman now look up to 20 years younger and sometimes even better then many 20yrs olds. I don't know if it's something in the water or what or how.

The times I went out with an older woman, I didn't even notice much that we were of a different age because we seemed so alike. Most of the people my age where I live have no real respect for talent and just like whatever is popular and mainstream.
 Just_Steph
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 15
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 7/9/2008 6:03:23 AM
You guys have really clarified a lot of things for me, thanks to all. I admit, I had concerns that I was giving out some strange vibe or something. LOL

This has really opened my eyes, I thank you for your candor, honesty and forthcoming advice/information.
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 16
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 7/9/2008 7:51:05 AM

1. Is looking for a Sex/MILF fantasy to fulfill
2. Is looking for someone who is more likely to be more mature & intelligent.


I would add a few other things to this list.

3. Some men go after any attractive woman regardless of her age.
4. Some men were rejected by many women around their age. So they start contacting other types of women.

As a side note, when I was 24, I had a short term relationship with a 41 yr old woman. She was fairly attractive, mature, successful, and had a good personality. We had some common interests and yes the sex was great. LOL. However we had different long term goals due to the large age difference.
 Catinka2008
Joined: 5/21/2008
Msg: 17
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 7/9/2008 8:28:31 AM
Change the age settings of who can contact you.
 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 18
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41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 7/9/2008 10:40:15 AM
Why not? Men your age have been dating 23 year old women since there have been 23 year old women. I am 51, so 10 years older than you are. Would I date a guy that was 33? Sure if we both liked each other, got along.

As to kids, not everyone wants kids. Not to mention were I live a lot of them already have kids by the time they are 23.
 reality_1
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 19
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 7/9/2008 11:55:45 AM


Older women usually have their own place
Older women are more inclined to give oral sex
Older women have less hang ups about sex
They are more experienced
They dont call a thousand times a day
They have their own money, car.....etc....
They dont act like little girls.....


Major Turn On
. I just see this...
******* They dont act like little girls.....
******* They know the REALITY in life..

Only problem I have faced with women older than me..(which is also the case with some younger women).. .
Having kids in future!!

I agree most guys are looking for thee fetish.. be it MILF or BBW they just don't want a relation ship!!
There are some genuine guys!!


I prefer +/-5 around my age..


 Rachelle~C
Joined: 6/30/2008
Msg: 20
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 7/9/2008 11:59:40 AM
I have no interest in little boys. I certainly am not interested in making some kids MILF dream come true. I don't even care for men near my own age. I would prefer at least 10 years older, however I would consider someone my age or near it if they absolutely did not want any more kids.
 reality_1
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 21
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 7/9/2008 12:46:51 PM
MM... 10 yrs older... I beleive not many would opt for such a big difference!! And you are still young !!!
 GentleCanuck
Joined: 7/27/2006
Msg: 22
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41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 7/9/2008 7:09:25 PM


I just don't understand why such a young guy would go after someone so much older.

Can anyone enlighten me?


My second girlfriend had a son who was one year older than me. I was 17.

In our case, it simply just happened. She owned the store where I bought a fresh loaf of French bread every evening. We started chatting and soon we were spending a lot of time together.

I had already been attracted to older women for several reasons. Age does not matter to me, other than for practical reasons. When I was in my late teens and early 20s, most of the women I knew were very immature and had lots of drama to deal with. Older women were stable and intelligent. You could hold an intelligent conversation with them.

So, my much older girlfriend was very mature. Also, she was very beautiful, especially when you took into account her age. She had the smallest waist I have ever seen. Men were constantly hitting on her. I saw men hit on her at least four times a day; even more considering that I was only spending a small part of the day with her. This was a constant source of amusement between us, as these men had no idea that the young man standing next to her was her boyfriend. I am not the jealous type. I knew she was mine and that these men had zero chance with her.

I will also add that due to a quirk of my childhood I spent a lot of time talking up to 200 older women a day. I am very comfortable talking to women.

Also, I was not overly attracted to women my age because they were very immature, drama queens and very catty. I am not saying all young women are like that, but the ones I knew at that age were.
 Just_Steph
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 23
41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 7/10/2008 8:09:46 PM
This feedback has been fantastic! It has been so helpful to hear from a man's perspective as well as from women who have been there.

I was not complaining, mind you. I think that most of you guys got it. I was just curious because it seemed odd to me.

GentleCanuck, your story was wonderful! Very cool.

Thanks you guys for the insight...I see this situation through new eyes now.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 24
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41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 7/10/2008 10:38:27 PM
~OP~ I get my fair share of those, so I added lingo in my profile about this very thing. I do usually exclusively date those younger than myself (when I actually did date ~ back when dinosaurs roamed the planet!) My former is 9 years younger. Our ages were never discussed. Today, that might be a stretch for me, but you never know.
 Pierced_Chick
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 25
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41 and 23??? I'm not ready for this!
Posted: 7/10/2008 11:18:39 PM
All honesty steph age shouldn't be an factor 23/24yrs old is not so young but not old either and its your choice but sometimes younger people tend to be more heartwarming/charming/caring/honest than most guys, in their late 30s-late 40s....
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