| | where do the people who are REALLY ready go?Page 1 of 4 (1, 2, 3, 4) | I am starting to think that singles clubs, dances, online dating has a bunch of people who THINK they are ready, but really are not. Both males & females are like kids in a candy store for the most part.
There are the people who have worked on themselves & their baggage is minimal...I recognize them when I meet them & I recognize the candy grabbers as well.
My question is Where do you find the folks who are TRULY ready for a serious relationship, who have an open heart & their guards down? | |
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| where do the people who are REALLY ready go?
Posted: 7/11/2008 3:56:34 PM |
My question is Where do you find the folks who are TRULY ready for a serious relationship, who have an open heart & their guards down?
I know several people who have met their "significant other" on Internet dating sites. It's only a small minority of the people on the sites but it does occasionally happen. | |
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| where do the people who are REALLY ready go?
Posted: 7/11/2008 4:46:42 PM |
My question is Where do you find the folks who are TRULY ready for a serious relationship, who have an open heart & their guards down?
You find them when you stop looking for them. Like one day when you least expect it, on the peak of some mountain far from home, when you didn't even know anyone else was there - you'll turn around and that person will be there. Just like that!
Of course it might also be a dehydration delusion so take plenty of water with you and wear a good hat! :) | |
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| where do the people who are REALLY ready go?
Posted: 7/11/2008 5:31:14 PM |
You find them when you stop looking for them. Like one day when you least expect it, on the peak of some mountain far from home, when you didn't even know anyone else was there - you'll turn around and that person will be there. Just like that!
Getting out my hiking boots, and plenty of water.
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| where do the people who are REALLY ready go?
Posted: 7/11/2008 7:20:40 PM |
My question is Where do you find the folks who are TRULY ready for a serious relationship, who have an open heart & their guards down?
Dear OP - In order to find these treasures in life.. you yourself must be ready. You must know within yourself what you truly want. Your own heart must be open and your own guard down. As you have stated in your post, most people THINK they are ready..but in actuality are not. So between the players, liars, confused individuals..it is very hard to meet the choice few who are ready and honest.
But in todays society, even the honest ones have a certain amount of guard up.. Because they have been played and lied to as well. Hence challenges can even arise when one is in a relationship with a person who has an open heart and is ready. Most people want to feel secure, cared about and know that the person they are with is in some degree looking out for their best interest. And so if we are truly ready for a serious and lasting relationship.. We must also bring to the table, kindness, caring, compassion, understanding, patience.. Also the willingness to listen, forgive if we must and COMMUNICATE without shutting down or shutting the other person out.
Any relationship can have it's ups and downs.. arguments and disagreements..even if we love the other person with everything that is inside of us.. Mistakes will be made, words said that both parties will wish they could recall but regret that they cannot.. But it is that willingness, to put our guard down, open our hearts and minds.. employ those characteristics listed above and sometimes be a bigger person that we even believe ourselves to be. Only these things can and will carry us across the chasms in our lives.. And deliver us safetly in a land where someone's heart fires burn soley for us... And then we will have something real and lasting. | |
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| where do the people who are REALLY ready go?
Posted: 7/11/2008 7:27:37 PM | | I have had better luck at the paying sites. Everyone told me I would find someone when I stopped looking. My thinking was I will never find someone unless I look. I don't find guys hanging out at friend's houses, or at work. I did find my last two relationships who were both ready for a commitment on paid sites. Maybe people who are wilingl to shell out a few bucks really are more serious about finding someone. | |
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sosse
| | Joined: 6/18/2007
Msg: 13 | |
| where do the people who are REALLY ready go?
Posted: 7/11/2008 7:33:44 PM | It is my feeling that you grow ready together. That is why one has to continue to filter through all the potential interests. There are those of us that are less motivated because of past experience and obligations to children, etc. But even though there is no altar in the foreseeable future, we can be pretty good friends. I presume that serious relationships begin out of friendship. But, maybe I'm one of the five democrats in the US that still believes in not living together before your married, too!  | |
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MrT.
| | Joined: 7/3/2008
Msg: 15 | |
| where do the people who are REALLY ready go?
Posted: 7/11/2008 7:55:36 PM | Just about everyone on a dating site has their guard up.And,you are way too subtle when you call it a candy store.Don't you think it's more like a meat market?
You are an attractive woman,I can't see you having trouble meeting the Candy Man,Candy Man,Candy M...
And,although both of your photos look good,IMO I think that other pix you posted from a year ago should be your main pix .
THAT'S HOT!!!
Also,I find jelly donuts a lot more appealing and functional than ice cream. | |
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denler
| | Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 17 | |
| where do the people who are REALLY ready go?
Posted: 7/11/2008 8:41:55 PM | | Are those the people who still go online and are active "daters" or "fishers?" What a ****ing crack up. A serious relationship would be nice, sure, but am I going to meet the one on this site? The more I'm on here, the more I hope not. Everyone I've seen on this site is strictly into looks and sex, period, and if you're a guy and you're not the best looking, you can hope you get a chance to talk so that they can see a small part of your personality. And there comes 101 ways to lie about that one or make excuses while dancing around the issue. I personally was in a committed relationship for 5 years, the kind where you don't have a dating profile that says "looking for friends" or that's even open at all for that matter, and I'm not used to the whole "dating" thing but so far, on this site, it disgusts me and hope I never get used to it. In the meantime, my place or yours? | |
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WackMC
| | Joined: 4/23/2008
Msg: 18 | |
| where do the people who are REALLY ready go?
Posted: 7/11/2008 9:33:32 PM | Autumn spoke the truth. You cannot simply meet someone and expect all your dreams to be handed to you on a plate. A relationship must be built. That means one step at a time. Attraction- Respect-Friendship-Love-Commitment.
It's not going to happen in a day, you can't see it all in one date. Like building a house of cards, you complete each step and hope it holds while you build the next stage. When it fails, that doesn't always mean a lack of effort. Trust yourself to have the skills to do the job, and learn to recognize those skills in others. | |
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blue70
| | Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 19 | |
| where do the people who are REALLY ready go?
Posted: 7/11/2008 10:06:17 PM | go to the paying sites- a lot of people at the forums are mostly about goofing around and making jokes, hearing themselves talk [myself included], and impressing you with their relationship knowledge [and how ironic is that when most are still single???]
Just my opinion, of course. | |
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| where do the people who are REALLY ready go?
Posted: 7/11/2008 10:22:33 PM | .
Wow! How often I read stuff like this from both men and women:
I have had better luck at the paying sites. Everyone told me I would find someone when I stopped looking. My thinking was I will never find someone unless I look.
I went shopping with my decrepit (widowed) brother today and got tired waiting for him to get done moseying around the “Thrifty Acers” store and so sat down in the café for a snack and to look at a book I was going to buy. No big deal, eh?
Except, I usually go there alone and quite often end up talking with woman shoppers who are also there alone. That happens so often that I now know some of them by name.
Well, I was sitting alone and someone I’ve talked with before joined me and we talked until my brother finally got done.
He’s like many guys: “What’s her name? Did you get her number? Is she married? Where does she live?” lol
Truth is, I talk with lots of people, any place I go. But, I’m never hitting on them. I’ve noticed that few women will even make eye contact with most guys, but most do with me. Of course, maybe I look funny, or something. 
And part of this is my point -- exactly. I know a couple very good looking single guys who are also very nice and well accomplished professionals. Yet, few women will even talk to them! Sure, in their respective professions they could hit on the younger gals with ease, but they don’t want to do that. They want someone with the knowledge and experience of our age group.
I tell them to NOT be looking because that makes you seem needy, or whatever the correct word is nowadays. Instead, I tell them to do a stealth complete 360 degree turn at least every half hour or so when they are out and notice who’s watching them. Like me, they go to the same places quite often, almost on schedule, so there is a good chance that a shy like-minded woman is watching them -- and trying to get close enough to be noticed. So, say hello.
And yeah, I say the same things to the local gals, too. I laugh every time the gals say that they cannot find anyone of interest. I know better (and, confidentially, I know who), but sometimes the only way I can get people together is to physically drag them over and introduce them. Damn people might be barracudas on their jobs, but they act like twelve year olds when it comes to meeting the opposite sex out in public.
I have no such problem. It’s easy for me. I ask and she says either yes or no. Whichever is okay with me and I’ll respect her for it. I’m just asking, after all. I take no offense in being refused -- better to show no interest up front than later.
On the other hand, any person I call friend will feel free to call me and ask if I have time for breakfast, lunch, dinner, or whatever. That has nothing to do with dating. Gals I know like to do stuff as well as I do. Besides, the gals are much nicer to hug and dance with than some guy. They also have more interesting friends. . . .
And therein is yet another thing I try to stress with both single men and women: All these people have single friends and, if you are a nice person, will probably recommend you. If they really like you as a friend, they’ll only introduce you to the best of the best. Ahem . . . you can bet a lot that’s the way it is with me. (One couple married, another together over two years and thinking about it.)
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| where do the people who are REALLY ready go?
Posted: 7/11/2008 10:24:38 PM | Now, I'm really impressive, much like the blue doll ^^^^ above audobon don above me.
I climb a tall tree and sit perfectly still hoping I blend in. When it passes I climb back down.
I'll never be as funny, at least not as consistently and drily as the dude I quoted, but here's my attempt:
In crowded subway car I pass wind. I wait until it all blends in well. Most people will climb out the windows. Whoever is left standing, is the one that's compatible with me. | |
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| where do the people who are REALLY ready go?
Posted: 7/11/2008 10:31:53 PM | I have met several extremely nice guys who as amazing as they are...are still not over the prior events in their lifes, usually by smacking head first into one of their walls.....rather than pull away I'm still in their lives and we talk often. I
have learned alot the last few years and to me at this moment in time I would rather than worry about IF a relationship works out...I would rather, someone I was involved with thinks of me it is with a warm spot in their hearts an a smile on their face...I actually think if more and more people were just NICE to people we would find the guards being dropped and people healing faster. So in the end the relationship does work out cause we are still friends. | |
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| where do the people who are REALLY ready go?
Posted: 7/12/2008 4:22:19 AM | I'm with BaldyisBeautiful, personally! I DO prefer the internet but that's not to say that I don't go out and socialize, also. I actually attend a lot of the POF Meet 'n Greets.
What gets to me is when you DO choose a profile to contact or vice versa and you exchange a few messages and then all of a sudden - nothing! That person just disappears. Now, I'm not so naive to understand that that person is probably contacting others, but have some decency and LET ME KNOW that you've met someone else so I don't have to waist my time waiting for another email from you! This is what I do - I feel it's honest and I don't want to lead the man on. I, too, am contacting more than one person, but if I happen to hit it off with someone else and it looks like it MIGHT get to more than one or two dates, then I'll let the other men I'm contacting know. Apparently, not many other people do the same thing.
Yet, the search continues. I really wish there WERE a place where all the serious-minded were located in as far as relationships are concerned, but that's just wishful thinking! | |
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| where do the people who are REALLY ready go?
Posted: 7/12/2008 6:30:09 AM | IS this the million dollar question ? I think the answer is you DONT go,, you just continue with the things in this life that make you happy and when the time is, it is ! I have found that people say and do things but deep down inside it might not be or,, it's totally the opposite. The only thing you can do is be secure with yourself and positiveness does attract the same or similar. The rational is a gerbil jumps in the wheels and runs ,, does he really think he's going anywhere ? good luck in ur search     | |
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