| why do guys......
Posted: 7/13/2008 1:09:23 PM | i keep getting ex's do a thorogh search to find me. i have had a couple that if i allow this then walk away thinking this was stupid. they will find me any where from 1-3yrs later and do it again. i am not sure how they can walk from a relationship, search for me. some do nothing but add me as a friend on facebook, or the odd email, some will attempt to appologize and give lines like i know what i want now and want to win your heart back.
so i guess just wanting to know a guy's perspective on this? | |
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| why do guys......
Posted: 7/13/2008 1:18:27 PM | Because they still haven't gotten over you. They should, and need to, but they haven't. And they could just be psycho, but I think it is more the former.
If I was you, just keep ignoring the e-mails and living your life as you always have. By not responding, then they will get the point. | |
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| why do guys......
Posted: 7/13/2008 1:21:49 PM | | Some men just can't let go. A lot of my friends tend to romanticize the past, only think of the good times that they had with their respective ex's. They don't remember the fights, the broken hearts, nor the drama. We as guys tend to think that we can fix things or make them better but what ends up happening is that we just revert to old ways more times than not because we are comfortable with where we were. IMHO most guys like the easy way out rather than actually making an effort to move forward. | |
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| why do guys......
Posted: 7/13/2008 1:24:48 PM |
they will find me any where from 1-3yrs later and do it again.
Well OP, if I were your ex you would never see or hear from me again. Exes are in the past where they belong. | |
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| why do guys......
Posted: 7/13/2008 1:44:31 PM |
so i guess just wanting to know a guy's perspective on this?
Sounds like you leave them hungry, fond memories eh. | |
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| why do guys......
Posted: 7/13/2008 3:18:52 PM | | ignore an IM or e-mail? It would be a simple act of curtesy to respond, and requires but a fews seconds/minutes to do so. If a woman takes the time to contact you it is only proper eticate to respond. By the way, how many men here really mean what their profiles read? They all start to sound the same after reading a few. They are all professionals, fitness fanatics, or bikers. Where are the honest men who truly want to meet a real and honest woman? Waiting for an honest answer. | |
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| why do guys......
Posted: 7/13/2008 4:01:38 PM | You're a keeper. They are regretting letting you go. 
Doesn't mean they're a keeper, though. 
Hope you find someone who deserves you.  | |
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| why do guys......
Posted: 7/13/2008 4:07:37 PM | From my personal experience and observations of fellow guys, men often harbour regrets about past relationships. They should, as a previous comment mentioned, "get over it". But not all of them do, at least not with the rapidity and finality that comes naturally to women. Their feelings for you linger and haunt them.
However, that's their problem, not yours. What you should do depends on what you want to accomplish. Ignoring them isn't a bad plan if you think it will work. Telling them to leave you alone might backfire. Any communication, however clear and firm, can encourage further contact from someone who is genuinely obsessed. If you feel cruel, you could toy with them until they leave you alone out of pure emotional pain.
What you might consider is changing your online accounts (like facebook and email) and keeping any other information that can be used to identify you off of the web. At least then, they'd have a tougher time tracking you down. | |
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| why do guys......
Posted: 7/13/2008 7:31:38 PM | | Either you've got something awesome that guys really like, or you're dating a bunch of clingers. | |
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| why do guys......
Posted: 7/13/2008 7:49:36 PM | OP I have a question for you
did you ever crossed your mind that maybe the lines you are being fed? are NOT lines and that maybe they do genuinely want another chance? I am not saying thats whats happened but it is possible. | |
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| why do guys......
Posted: 7/13/2008 9:09:39 PM |
i keep getting ex's do a thorogh search to find me. i have had a couple that if i allow this then walk away thinking this was stupid. they will find me any where from 1-3yrs later and do it again. i am not sure how they can walk from a relationship, search for me. some do nothing but add me as a friend on facebook, or the odd email, some will attempt to appologize and give lines like i know what i want now and want to win your heart back.
so i guess just wanting to know a guy's perspective on this?
In order to give an honest opinion I guess I would need to know exactly how many ex's you are talking about? Some people are serial daters (leads men/women on) and others are not (legitimate sweethearts). | |
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| why do guys......
Posted: 7/13/2008 9:28:13 PM | I've had relationships which ended so badly, if I knew she was around, I'd leave the area.
You seem to rate a lot better in your exes eyes and hearts than that,be thankful. | |
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| why do guys......
Posted: 7/13/2008 9:31:58 PM | If your X's always come back then most likely your a worth while woman. They simply wasn't ready to settle down first time. They might never truely be ready to settle down and simply be a playboy and having a dry spell. So fond memories surface in their thoughts. Most likely they have fond memories an think of you. Most of the time it never works out if it didn't work first go round. | |
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| why do guys......
Posted: 7/13/2008 10:30:32 PM | | Several issues here. One: it strikes me this has happened to you repeatedly. I mean this in the kindest way....um.....sure it's them and not in your mind? OK, if it is them, then yep, still most likely pining.....although, not always the case. I know, with me, if someone does something I consider unethical or dishonest, long after I'm over the person/relationship/situation, about once or twice a year or so that person and whatever unethical thing the person did will pop into my mind (know what I mean?)....and if I'm in a mood, I won't be calling to apologize....more likely to seize my own power. In your case, it sounds more like plain old pining away for you. If interested, go for it. If not, best to 100% ignore (anything else , including anger, will only serve to encourage). I have a guy whom I briefly dated in 2006 who periodically tries to contact me. He's not dangerous (or so I assume), so I simply ignore him. I've actually changed my cellular ph number several times, but he somehow manages to find them. I almost feel sorry for him, but I'm also very turned off by it. I guess if I still liked him, I'd welcome it. I, in no way, shape, or form have any interest in him, however. Actually, the thought of the guy makes me want to hurl. Just wish he'd leave me alone. | |
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| why do guys......
Posted: 7/13/2008 11:38:53 PM | | i think they're in a bit of a drought, and miss the sexin......... | |
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| why do guys......
Posted: 7/22/2008 7:56:38 PM | hey guys/gals
sorry i have not responded to your advice or opinions. i couldnt figure out how to find the forum. i guess my mind went on holidays with the summer,lol.
ill try to answer most questions. there are three. one gave no reason after asking why contact me we are ex's we lost our relationship cause the friendship died in it. now on his third attempt he said its because he knows what im going through since he and his gf are in the middle of a break up. but ive shown no reason for having any termoil in my life. the other just added me and said we broke up shit happens no biggy. knowing i had a hard hard time with my greiving process. the other did say it was because he remembers all the good in me(we never had issues we broke up due to location and jobs..) and wanted to win my heart back again. lol. curiousity killed me anD did a search and found him on here so walked. he is the only one i came back to. due to the good nature of our relationship. now they are all backing off. they havent taunted me. harassed me, their ways were very subtle.
two of these men i really adored maybe too much and had a hard time getting over them. and during the healing process i kept trying to find out what was wrong with me, including standing infront of the mirror picking at my features body etc. then replay conversations, memories etc tryign to figure out where i went wrong. so the fact they did this i tried to think there is nothing wrong with me. i wouldnt want anyting to do with someone i hated or repulsed me etc. so i kept that thought in my head til the last exs contact with me.
you guys are great. its nice to get advice from someone outside the circle. in reality we all know for the most part you turn to a friend they tell you what you want to hear not the trueth. | |
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| why do guys......
Posted: 7/22/2008 8:06:38 PM | | I don't want to sound like an ass but they probably haven't got laid in a while and remember the intimacy with you and are trying to get you in the sack again =) it may not be true but it's a possibility.. have u ever had sex with them when you weren't dating / after the breakups? Feel free to not answer if it makes you uncomfortable ahaha... | |
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| why do guys......
Posted: 7/22/2008 8:14:37 PM | It's a classic back-door technique. I've had exes use it on me. Try to become your best friend so they can get back into your life so they can get back into your pants.
No fun. Be free and happy, avoid that drama. | |
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| why do guys......
Posted: 7/22/2008 10:41:30 PM | Sounds like there between girlfriends,So they get out the little black book and try for the "old times sake"Shäg.
Shame you cant see if they have tried this on other exes. | |
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| why do guys......
Posted: 7/23/2008 2:04:46 PM | | no i havent just the one that i went back with a bit ago. but couldnt get into it sexually due to the past i guess. he wasnt really understanding of that. so maybe your right. he kept bringing up we haD sexual issues but never brought up we have communication issues etc. it was all missing so i walked. | |
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| why do guys......
Posted: 7/23/2008 2:23:53 PM | Well, it's not just guys doing this because one of my ex gf's will drunk dial me at 6am occasionally to this day. She will try to come over to my house to sleep with me, but ask this only after she's mentioned that she is sleeping with 5 other guys. It's very disturbing.
I think one of the posts at the top of the page got it right. It's simply that they aren't over you. Nothing more to it, well, either that or they're just plain crazy. I will try not to use the word insane anymore because apparently some people flip out on here when I say that. | |
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| why do guys......
Posted: 7/23/2008 2:55:06 PM | out_for, when a guy is at a loose end, the first thing he does is look through his phone number list for an old muse!
That's really all there is to it. | |
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| why do guys......
Posted: 7/23/2008 3:16:17 PM | Your the one that did that alphabet thing in your profile, remember!
And your asking us!
They obviously think your the best catch ever, just like you! lol | |
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| why do guys......
Posted: 7/23/2008 9:09:46 PM | | well before the alphabet discriptions says in a round about way i have faults and not too proud to admit to them and enough esteem with myself. so not saying im the best for no one is. well someone i believe there is on person for us that is perfect for us and us only. | |
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| why do guys......
Posted: 7/24/2008 6:15:09 AM | That last sentence made my head hurt.
"well someone i believe there is on person for us that is perfect for us and us only."
Plastic Surgeon:
Your = possession
You're = you are
Why can't people spell or use even remotely proper grammar on the internet? It's a major problem I encounter and it's concerning to be honest. I am not perfect at writing or anything else, but I just can't understand how simple things like properly speaking and writing in your own language are so difficult. I guess it's just a weird thing of mine. Especially with your/you're and there/their/they're. Those are no good to mix up. | |
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