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 rfd42
Joined: 10/12/2005
Msg: 1
How does a guy convince a girl he is sincere?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I am new to the forums and could use a little help on this issue.

I know many women have to contend with guys who are less than sincere with their intentions. As a result many women are reluctant to believe in the sincerely honest men out there. How does a guy work through that barrier and convince a woman he is a stand-up kind of guy? This is not an easy thing to work with; too many women have been hurt too many times.

Input from any woman would be helpful. Thanks
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 2
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How does a guy convince a girl he is sincere?
Posted: 7/14/2008 8:42:49 PM
Remember one important rule and live by it: Action speaks louder than words.
 _Red_
Joined: 12/14/2006
Msg: 3
How does a guy convince a girl he is sincere?
Posted: 7/14/2008 9:03:20 PM
Through your actions, following through on your words but most importantly, with time and patience. Just take it slow and if it's meant to be, it will.
 Uncle Fist
Joined: 12/18/2006
Msg: 4
How does a guy convince a girl he is sincere?
Posted: 7/14/2008 9:06:06 PM
Important rule: don't have your wiener out when you tell her you love her.

I can't stress that enough.
 wondering1980
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 5
How does a guy convince a girl he is sincere?
Posted: 7/14/2008 9:13:04 PM
be patient and like someone else said actions speak louder than words....words mean nothing unless we see it with are own eyes
 CopperheadRodeo
Joined: 2/25/2008
Msg: 6
How does a guy convince a girl he is sincere?
Posted: 7/14/2008 9:21:22 PM
Consistency in sincerety..in life and in a realtionship. She'll be on her guard but will soften eventually.

Someone that isn't sincere will faulter

Indeed..actions are much louder than words.
 Double Cabin
Joined: 11/29/2004
Msg: 7
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How does a guy convince a girl he is sincere?
Posted: 7/14/2008 9:23:35 PM
Sincerity is never staged, like true charity always being anonymous.

If someone doesn't recognise let alone appreciate your sincerity they more than likely aren't as interested in you as you are in them. Deal with it, grow from it, and put your pole back in the pond. Change the bait a bit, but not yourself. Great luck to you man.
 nikoblue
Joined: 1/31/2008
Msg: 8
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How does a guy convince a girl he is sincere?
Posted: 7/14/2008 9:23:57 PM
You cannot convince most women that you are sincere simply with words, especially the written word. You being a stand-up kind of guy must be witnessed in person. And you do that by first of all being YOURSELF and answering questions they may have honestly. Accept that it's perfectly OK if someone doesn't like your answers. You're looking for compatibility I'd guess, and that's going to take some patience on your part because dating can be stressful for many reasons. If some women you meet or email don't believe you, let them go. But, probably most all sane women WILL be cautious. That caution is mitigated over time by your actions and their attraction to you. Don't worry on the first date too much about wether someone thinks you're sincere or not. Just be yourself, don't over-act. One basic principle is that your social manners will reflect your sincerity and your character. IOW, you can say a thing but if your behavior conflicts with what you say, trust me, it will be noted by the woman and will raise her defenses, not lower them.

BTW, don't get caught up in long email relationships. Suggest meeting in, of course, a very public place during the day ( cafe, park, restaurant ) and do so with the understanding it might mean you need to ask more than once. If some woman tries to put you off or stalls on meeting you, RESPECTFULLY tell her that you are on here to MEET people and maybe you have different priorities, then wish her luck. I'm saying all of this because sincerity has to be SEEN and FELT and that can't happen just with chats and emails. So, it would be impossible to 'convince' anyone who can't look at you face to face. And when you do meet them face to face, refer to the first paragraph.
 Chuck65201
Joined: 11/19/2007
Msg: 9
How does a guy convince a girl he is sincere?
Posted: 7/15/2008 3:43:29 AM
To the OP: Why try to convince them to begin with just be yourself and in time a lady will come along who likes you and wants to learn to love you for who you are. Trying to convince a woman in the dating world is so "high schoolish" in my honest opinion especially if you are over 30.
 janetlynne
Joined: 6/6/2008
Msg: 10
How does a guy convince a girl he is sincere?
Posted: 7/15/2008 4:22:58 AM
It takes time. The only way to show someone how sincere you are is to prove it. Not once or twice....but all the time without fail. In time they will see that you are honest and sincere.
 ~Kyn~
Joined: 2/15/2008
Msg: 11
How does a guy convince a girl he is sincere?
Posted: 7/15/2008 4:32:46 AM

Remember one important rule and live by it: Action speaks louder than words.

Dear bug is right.

Look...it doesnt necessarily take time if two things are present.
1. a woman is ready to pursue a relationship
2. you are ready

Anyone can make all the false promises in the world...or even make grand promises...intentions are worth nothing but you dont need to grandstand either.

Just be consistent and dont play games deliberately and take into account how your actions will be perceived.
 JacquiNJ
Joined: 6/30/2008
Msg: 12
How does a guy convince a girl he is sincere?
Posted: 7/15/2008 4:47:49 AM
If you're a stand up guy, you won't have to convince us. We'll know.

That's the "nice guy" epidemic. The more a man tries to prove he's a "nice guy," the less likely I am to believe it. It makes me wonder who he's really trying to convince.

You're treated the way you allow yourself to be. I have gotten pretty good at sniffing out the BS lines from men (women too, just in a different context)...It's not hard to tell when a man is less than sincere, as you put it.

Be yourself and don't lay it on too thick.
Good luck.
 classyNYwoman
Joined: 2/14/2008
Msg: 13
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How does a guy convince a girl he is sincere?
Posted: 7/15/2008 5:15:31 AM
hmmmmm..I like his lips on me quite a bit..thats convincing
 kerrieberrie_3
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 14
How does a guy convince a girl he is sincere?
Posted: 7/15/2008 5:21:53 AM
You really don't have to do anything 'extra' so to speak. If you're sincere, we'll know it, but if we don't like you, even if you're sincere, and do everything in the books to show that you're sincere... we will keep on telling you that we're 'insecure' and don't want a relationship.

If you're convinced that she likes you back and that is genuinely lacking confidence - just be yourself. TIME will tell..... that's the best proof.

good luck
 jimtash71
Joined: 3/12/2008
Msg: 15
How does a guy convince a girl he is sincere?
Posted: 7/15/2008 5:23:45 AM

Be yourself and don't lay it on too thick.


Best advice that you can get. Don't put the pressure on. Just be cool and let her wonder why you aren't putting the moves on her.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 16
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How does a guy convince a girl he is sincere?
Posted: 7/15/2008 5:26:11 AM
As the others said, you need to be consistant. You won't be changing her mind, she will be the one who does that.

Also...why do you want a gal who's been hurt often? Broaden your scope, there are other women out there...than the hotties who've been hurt, and the damsels in distress.
 beadonna
Joined: 9/9/2007
Msg: 17
How does a guy convince a girl he is sincere?
Posted: 7/15/2008 5:52:01 AM
i agree with the majority here........actions, open communication, honesty

the more you say "i am sincere," the less likely she will be to believe

just be yourself, and the truth will manifest itself
 luvnlife2
Joined: 12/17/2006
Msg: 18
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How does a guy convince a girl he is sincere?
Posted: 7/15/2008 7:14:58 AM
I agree with the advice given by the other posters.

Another point to follow: When a woman says she's not interested or acts like she's not interested, there is nothing you can do to convince her that she is interested. Leave her alone.
 ControlAltDelete
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 19
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How does a guy convince a girl he is sincere?
Posted: 7/15/2008 7:52:02 AM
As almost everybody else has said so far, actions speak louder than words. If you ARE truly sincere, it shows. It shows in the way you treat other people, in the way you talk about other people, in the way that YOU act when you are treated unfairly. You don't have to work to convice us that you are an honest fellow.

The other side of the coin, is your ability to stand up for what YOU believe in even if it threatens her. If she expresses discontent with something you truly enjoy, and you change because of it, that comes across as subliminally insincere. Even though our ego is stroked by having you see things our way, it also can make you come across as a weathervane and that creates feelings of distrust.
 Sardonis
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 20
How does a guy convince a girl he is sincere?
Posted: 7/15/2008 8:36:21 AM
Why would a guy want to convince a girl of his sincerity?

Women who are so distrustful have too much baggage anyways.
 ~vhdc~
Joined: 10/1/2007
Msg: 21
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How does a guy convince a girl he is sincere?
Posted: 7/15/2008 11:13:02 AM
Say what you mean and mean what you say.
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 22
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How does a guy convince a girl he is sincere?
Posted: 7/15/2008 11:34:50 AM
Actions, actions, and actions...keeping promises and following through with one's intentions.
 thatswhatshesaid
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 23
How does a guy convince a girl he is sincere?
Posted: 7/15/2008 11:54:07 AM

...you won't have to convince us. We'll know.
That's the "nice guy" epidemic. The more a man tries to prove he's a "nice guy," the less likely I am to believe it. It makes me wonder who he's really trying to convince.


Yes, it is. Once again, all the "how do I approach THE RIGHT way, how do I get a girl to like me, how do I this, how do I that.

You know what, you don't ever learn to do things perfectly and avoid all criticism. You simply:
1. figure out what you want and how you feel
2. put it out there
3. allow yourself to be judged by all kinds of people with all different backgrounds and all different value systems until you find someone who's right for you.

Step one is CRUCIAL. Step two can't be skipped, sorry. Step 3 gets easier as you learn how to accept criticism without necissarily reacting to it (mastering Step 1 is what makes step 3 easier). Every woman and every other man on earth has to go through this too, you are no the only one, nice guy.
 SueCat51
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 24
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How does a guy convince a girl he is sincere?
Posted: 7/15/2008 12:27:29 PM
Action!!! I'm not talking about when the director on the set gives you the cue to move. Also, you have to allow a woman time to get to know you. How you interact with others is another clue.
 slybandit
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 25
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How does a guy convince a girl he is sincere?
Posted: 7/15/2008 12:59:47 PM
This is "ask a girl", so I guess I don't qualify. But obviously I'm going to answer anyhow.

Stop 'trying'. If you actually ARE being sincere, trying to convince someone of that is counter-productive.

Just BE sincere.

Say what you mean. Do what you say. Follow through on what you commit to do.
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