| Wow! This is harder than I thought it would be.....
Posted: 7/14/2008 9:47:25 PM | I have been on this site for several months now. I have met a couple of nice men on here but for whatever reason we weren't a good match. I have been out of the dating scene for a few years before that (in a long distance relationship that fizzeled). The problem is that the men I am attracted to are too involved with other things to have much time to date and some of the men who have contacted me weren't looking for the same things I am. Is it this hard for everyone or is it just me? Any tips?  | |
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| Wow! This is harder than I thought it would be.....
Posted: 7/14/2008 10:02:37 PM | OPie, I'll tell you what's worked very well for me (since I don't initiate contact very well, lol!): I made my profile as revealing of my very odd self as I could, said very little about what I wanted in a man, and let them self select. It took ten months for him to find me. Great odds where I come from ~smile~
Do that, then sit back and enjoy the forums till you get found.
Good luck!
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| Wow! This is harder than I thought it would be.....
Posted: 7/14/2008 10:11:36 PM | | You are not the only one! I have a terrible time trying to find a mn on here. I am a bigger girl, and you wouldnt believe the forums men write about how they always get messages from fat chicks!!! How rude. I def. haven't had any luck on here. But the forums are fun...thats pretty much all I comr here for anymore.Finding love would be awesome, but who knows LOL good luck :) Also, this may be a stupid question and it is probably obvious, but what the heck does "OP" mean?!?!?! I see it on here all the time and can't quite figure it out LOL | |
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| Wow! This is harder than I thought it would be.....
Posted: 7/14/2008 10:16:30 PM | "OP" = Orginial Poster
I have to agree with the OP, it is alot harder than I thought it would be, but in a completely different way...to me it is almost overwhelming. And if you do find someone of *interest there are so many different things...distance, jobs, family etc that has a tendency to make things burn out quickly...but after a bit I realized that if the other party wasnt willing to put forth the effort to make things work then they wouldnt be much different in a relationship...the grass is always going to be greener, they will always have some other interruption. I do know when I find the right person I wont dare let them ever feel taken for granted. | |
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| Wow! This is harder than I thought it would be.....
Posted: 7/15/2008 12:21:31 AM | Just have a laugh at some of the things that go on...when you're so frustrated you can't laugh anymore just hide your profile and take a break. Never forget the real world...always stay connected.
I find this site is fabulous for socialization, but to find people who want to meet and are looking for long term I found a pay site I'm on is much more conducive. Here are men who want to play around and cheat...not all, but a lot. | |
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| Wow! This is harder than I thought it would be.....
Posted: 7/15/2008 1:49:33 AM |
Here's your official "I'd Kiss the Frog if I Could Only Freaking Find Him!" membership card. I think every woman on PoF is in the club.
Just like almost every guy is in the "I'm here, but nobody want's to kiss me!" club. | |
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| Wow! This is harder than I thought it would be.....
Posted: 7/15/2008 5:18:38 AM | Your original message shows your "joined date" to be 7/6/08, but you say you've been on here for several months. ???? Did you delete your profile and create another one?
You could try a profile review and get tips to improve your profile.
I can already tell you, that you need more pics, especially a few smiling facial pictures. Your description of the guy you're looking for seems a little abstract and unattainable, even to me. I can only imagine what the guys think when they read it, yet you tell nothing about yourself on your profile. You also have no interests listed in your profile. How do men know if the two of you are going to have anything in common?
Online dating requires effort and your best foot forward. Try the profile review forum, take their advice, update your profile, and try try try again. "Just keep swimmin', swimmin,' swimmin'".
Good Luck,
Krys | |
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| Wow! This is harder than I thought it would be.....
Posted: 7/15/2008 5:44:08 AM | Many women find it more productive to actively search out the type of man they desire, rather than waiting (& wading) thru all the undesirables.
This won't stop the knuckledraggers from harrassing you, but it WILL considerably improve your odds of finding a compatible mate. As long as you use other criteria, in addition to looks/attraction.
It's a new type of social medium.....so the old mode of men always making first contact doesn't work as well as in RL.
You can stick to the 'old fashioned' way, but that's kind of like trying to pedal a car because you're used to riding a bike.  | |
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| Wow! This is harder than I thought it would be.....
Posted: 7/15/2008 7:36:34 AM | | Yes, I deleted my profile then decided to give it another try. Added humor (so I thought) about Prince Charming. I had other photos on my last profile but was told they weren't very good by a prospective match so I took them down. They were hideous anyway. | |
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| Wow! This is harder than I thought it would be.....
Posted: 7/15/2008 8:52:08 AM | | It's not your fault if you don't like the men you could get. In the same way, it's not their fault if the men who could get you don't want to. But somewhere in the background all the while is the puzzling fact that when people offer love instead of seek it they can find no shortage of people glad to accept. | |
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| Wow! This is harder than I thought it would be.....
Posted: 7/15/2008 10:39:07 AM |
Just like almost every guy is in the "I'm here, but nobody want's to kiss me!" club.
Amen brother, happens to us men just as much, although to many women it might not seem that way but it does, trust me. | |
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| Wow! This is harder than I thought it would be.....
Posted: 7/15/2008 12:48:09 PM | It is the same for us men also. I start by emailing, we chat, we talk on the phone and sometimes meet. But shortly after it is gone and done with. Why is always the question? But the answer is a number of things such as:
a) Lost intrest.
b) Someone else caught thieer intrest more.
c) Just doesn't feel that "chemistry". (a worn out useless, meaningless word).
d) many other reason, to much to list...........................................................
We all go through it. Sometimes we find when not looking, sometime we have to loook and find it. It's the cards we are dealt and we have to play the best hand possible. But if you fold, you won't even if you had a chance to so-call win.
Hang in thier OP, b/c everyone is meant for someone, just a matter of when and where. | |
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| Wow! This is harder than I thought it would be.....
Posted: 7/15/2008 1:47:26 PM | I agree it is very hard. So after a year (!) I hid my profile and stopped looking.
However I did decide to just make new friends and went to one local singles meetup party 2 weeks ago. Lucky-me, I did find a most awesome guy first time around. I think its just luck of the draw. | |
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| Wow! This is harder than I thought it would be.....
Posted: 7/15/2008 1:54:39 PM | Sometimes, you get lucky and meet someone great early on. Mostly, it takes a lot of patience, emailing, and sifting, perhaps many hundreds of contacts and emails and dozens of first meetings and short-term dating to find someone compatible.
It took me over 800 contacts and 50-plus first dates to find a great match. On the other hand, I was the very first person my SO contacted! | |
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| Wow! This is harder than I thought it would be.....
Posted: 7/15/2008 3:10:23 PM | Sometimes, you get lucky and meet someone great early on. Mostly, it takes a lot of patience, emailing, and sifting
I love the implication of this, that 99% of people are crappy. :-P Hey, thanks! I resemble that remark! | |
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| Wow! This is harder than I thought it would be.....
Posted: 7/15/2008 3:27:47 PM | | Acttwo, very wise advice, that's exactly what I've done. When I am too frustrated, I hide my profile and take a break. I'm at that point right now. No desire to be with anyone, just concentrating on myself, but I still stick around for the forums. | |
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| Wow! This is harder than I thought it would be.....
Posted: 7/15/2008 4:20:48 PM | As I like to say OP, Welcome to the jungle. Keep your "hip waders" on and in good shape just in case you must trudge through some "BS" and a flyswatter comes in handy sometimes.
It _is_ a lot more difficult than one initially tends to believe and then you settle in for the "ride". Some can persevere and some remain forever clueless. You just can't have extremely high expectations. Go with the flow and if you aren't relaxed, try harder to get that way. If you get tired or disgruntled take a "break", a breather. There are some truly odd people out there you will encounter but it's a hazard of this "medium".
All of us, I _suppose_ have been dissolutioned at some point or another.
My problem is, I seem to be attracted to men who live distances away. | |
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| Wow! This is harder than I thought it would be.....
Posted: 7/15/2008 4:29:13 PM |
Added humor (so I thought) about Prince Charming.
Yeah, hearing any mention of "Prince Charming" will turn most men off immediately, as it makes it appear that you are looking for something that a man can't live up to. | |
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| Wow! This is harder than I thought it would be.....
Posted: 7/15/2008 4:35:37 PM |
Yeah, hearing any mention of "Prince Charming" will turn most men off immediately ^^^I don't blame them at all. Or how about the ever so popular "Knight in Shining Armor"?
A male friend of mine once told me a woman here on PoF wrote him and told him that every woman is searching for their Knight in Shining Armor. I told him, no, every woman is not. | |
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| Wow! This is harder than I thought it would be.....
Posted: 7/15/2008 6:55:08 PM | | I would be happy(er) with at least some "thanks but no thanks" replies. Of all the messages I've sent, I've only received one response so far. And trust me, I'm the complete opposite of the "OMG YER BOOBS R HOT LETS ****" guys. | |
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