| Can you experience that amazing chemistry/connection more than once??
Posted: 7/15/2008 5:11:49 AM | I'm curious what others think on this subject.
I've only once in my life experienced that powerful chemistry/connection with a man. From the moment we laid eyes on each other it was like an invisible force was pulling us together (yeh yeh I know it sounds corny!!). It wasn't just lust, we were together for 4 years.
What I find myself questioning, is whether this can happen more than once in your life?? That particular relationship broke up 3 years ago and I haven't experienced anything like that since, which is kind of depressing! Am I expecting too much? Am I naive to think it can (hopefully) happen again?? I have had relationships since which were 3-6 months, so short term, but that real connection was missing.
What has been your experience?? Do you think it is possible to experience this more than once in your life?
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| Can you experience that amazing chemistry/connection more than once??
Posted: 7/15/2008 5:25:29 AM | Sure it's possible, it depends on how open you are to letting it happen.
If you're looking for someone that will give you that same instant connection, you probably won't find it. Why? Because you're looking for it.
I'll bet a dollar to a donut that when it happened for you before... it was a totally unexpected thing and you weren't looking for it, it just happened. Am I right?
Bluezzz | |
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| Can you experience that amazing chemistry/connection more than once??
Posted: 7/15/2008 6:02:23 AM | Of course it is possible but a host of unknowns come into play such as whether your path will cross someone with whom you might experience a similar connection but as FG said, it will be different and unless your mind and heart are open, you won't recognize it because you will be looking for something like the relationship you already had.
For example, maybe it is not that instant connection, but something that grows more slowly and ultimately has the potential to be much stronger than what you experienced in the past. If you reject him somewhere in your mind for not having that instant chemistry you may miss out on the real love of your life. | |
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| Can you experience that amazing chemistry/connection more than once??
Posted: 7/15/2008 6:11:56 AM |
Sure it's possible, it depends on how open you are to letting it happen.
If you're looking for someone that will give you that same instant connection, you probably won't find it. Why? Because you're looking for it.
I'll bet a dollar to a donut that when it happened for you before... it was a totally unexpected thing and you weren't looking for it, it just happened. Am I right?
Hey Bluezzz
I'm definitely open to it happening ..... when it did happen last time I was hoping it would so I don't think you could say I wasn't looking for it as such. However, I had the very week before it did say to a friend "will it ever happen" and them bam it did. So yes it did sneak up on me I guess.
I don't understand the statement of "if you look for it, it won't happen" .... aren't we all looking for that connection??? | |
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| Can you experience that amazing chemistry/connection more than once??
Posted: 7/15/2008 6:19:33 AM |
Of course it is possible but a host of unknowns come into play such as whether your path will cross someone with whom you might experience a similar connection but as FG said, it will be different and unless your mind and heart are open, you won't recognize it because you will be looking for something like the relationship you already had.
packagedeal ~ yes that does make sense to me. Maybe that's what's confusing in a way?? In that I only know how it felt last time. Hmm definite food for thought.
For example, maybe it is not that instant connection, but something that grows more slowly and ultimately has the potential to be much stronger than what you experienced in the past. If you reject him somewhere in your mind for not having that instant chemistry you may miss out on the real love of your life.
I guess it comes down to what my definition of chemistry is? What I feel is a real connection. I've always believed it's something you feel almost right away. Not necessary immediately but certainly fairly early on.
Thanks for you thoughts ~ I appreciate it  | |
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| Can you experience that amazing chemistry/connection more than once??
Posted: 7/15/2008 6:24:14 AM | If it was so great, why did it end? I digress
It's been 3 years since; let's assume you started you're dating life at 15, so it took 15 years to find it in the first place. Taken that way, 3 years isn't so bad, is it?
If you focus too much on finding 'it', you may miss the forest for the trees, so to speak.
Perhaps, you're not over the last relationship-you're focusing too much on it, and haven't moved on, and frankly aren't ready to move on. | |
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| Can you experience that amazing chemistry/connection more than once??
Posted: 7/15/2008 6:33:52 AM | Hi chemistry,
Take that one time experience and just imagine how he has showed you what a real relationship should feel like. It will happen for you again because you felt the real thing
and when the man of your dreams finally comes along it will even be better than the first, " keep the faith " never give up, nor settle for less... "Just believe" | |
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| Can you experience that amazing chemistry/connection more than once??
Posted: 7/15/2008 6:52:09 AM |
If it was so great, why did it end? I digress
There are never any guarantees ~ and quite frankly it's none of your business why it ended.
It's been 3 years since; let's assume you started you're dating life at 15, so it took 15 years to find it in the first place. Taken that way, 3 years isn't so bad, is it?
I'm not sooking and saying it's been 'such a long time' at all. I merely asked people's opinions on if they think it can happen more than once.
Perhaps, you're not over the last relationship-you're focusing too much on it, and haven't moved on, and frankly aren't ready to move on.
I'm not focusing too much on it, and I have most definitely moved on. I'm not desperately seeking it either, as I said just curious if others have experienced this kind of connection more than once in their lives | |
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| Can you experience that amazing chemistry/connection more than once??
Posted: 7/15/2008 7:15:33 AM |
it's none of your business why it ended.
My point was you need to look at why it ended, perhaps you'll see that it wasn't so great, and you'll stop holding that relationship up as the model for all future relationships.
I'm not sooking and saying it's been 'such a long time' at all
but, you said in your OP
I haven't experienced anything like that since, which is kind of depressing!
Kind of sounds like you're looking, and you're depressed you haven't found it in those whopping 3 years.
If you're going to ask for opinions, don't get offended if you get one you don't like. | |
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| Can you experience that amazing chemistry/connection more than once??
Posted: 7/15/2008 7:21:15 AM | Dear Chemistry,
I wanted to write to you directly instead of using this forum. however your email is not set up to receive correspondence from the US.
Your question is something I have been considering for a very long time.
I had an amazing experience very similair to yours. He looked at me, I walked into his arms and he gave me a kiss on each cheek. I never wanted to leave his arms. We were together for 3 years. And then on and off for about 8 more years. If I saw him again today I would connect with him again. Last I knew he was married and living in another country. But I would love to see him again, just to know that our love and passion was real.
It was the most incredible intense love and attraction I have ever felt. I have been searching for that same type of relationship for 20 years! It has not happened again. I've had a couple that came close in the chemistry department. However, they turned out to be rather self-centered men that did not completly understand the concept of truly loving another person.
I despair of ever finding this for myself again. However, I remain hopeful. I have changed my profile to reflect that I am looking for a man with a big heart and a capacity for loving. I hope that if I can find a man that understands loving unselfishly that we can have that intense relationship that I long for.
Sometimes I wonder if we only expereince love that way when we find it for the first time?
I've enjoyed reading the other people's answers to your post.
It has definately made me think. | |
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| Can you experience that amazing chemistry/connection more than once??
Posted: 7/15/2008 7:23:34 AM | You can have that feeling with anyone at all if you only go about it the right way. The whole feeling happens within yourself independently of the other person. This is the same thing at work as why people love movie stars they will never even meet. You carry around in your mind a bunch of dreams and desires that you associate with romance. You also carry around some feelings about potato salad you associate with picnics. When you are in the deli and you see the potato salad your mind remembers picnics. When you see someone who matches your romantic fantasies your mind remembers romance. Then you keep looking at the person as these romantic ideas come to mind, and if they are looking back at you doing the same thing and neither of you look away, pretty soon both of you are staring at each other having your own romance orgy inside yourself, which you recognize and encourage in each other. It means you were both suitable in terms of appearance to be the object of romance, and both ready for romance, and had similar ways of expressing the feelings that each other recognized and could understand. It's like sexual arousal but instead of just your body it involves your mind. It is impersonal because you don't even know each other at all. Love at first sight.
You can also come to see someone in that same way over time, even very slowly over a long time. Or you could have an chance through circumstance to look differently at someone already well known to you. In each example it is the same thing happening. It is in how you are looking at the person, not who they are. You can fall in love with a statue if you want. | |
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| Can you experience that amazing chemistry/connection more than once??
Posted: 7/15/2008 7:23:59 AM |
I don't understand the statement of "if you look for it, it won't happen" .... aren't we all looking for that connection???
Sure, we're all looking for that connection, but sometimes wanting badly enough will put us in a "tunnel vision" frame of mind, where we're trying to see it in everyone.. is it him, or him, or maybe him??? Kind of a forest for the trees sort of thing.
But then again, I'm still single, so what does that tell ya..LOL
Bluezzz | |
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| Can you experience that amazing chemistry/connection more than once??
Posted: 7/15/2008 7:32:42 AM | Maybe a really shallow analogy to add to what Bluezzz said in clarifying his previous comment because before he posted, I interpreted it differently. If you are looking for that instant connection you probably assume that a new guy would have many of the same qualities, which is understandable but put another way.
Let's say chemistry guy was tall dark and handsome. What if the new chemistry man is a shorter blonde man that is also handsome but nearly a polar opposite in looks and perhaps even characteristics. If you have some subconscious notion that the next guy will be tall dark and handsome and behave very similarly to the first man, you may be looking so hard for him that you fail to see the blonde guy right under your nose. | |
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| Can you experience that amazing chemistry/connection more than once??
Posted: 7/15/2008 7:51:48 AM | | I think you can have that Chemistry more than once hunni, I have vowed that I wont rush into a realtionship with anyone but I think I have this chemistry thing already hehe and I have not even met the guy yet who I am talking to, but hes adorable and I love talking to him so when he and I finally get to meet I think I am going to experience it again. xxx | |
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| Can you experience that amazing chemistry/connection more than once??
Posted: 7/15/2008 8:42:19 AM |
Sweetie.........as long as you draw breath its possible..........twice or thrice
relax and let it happen..........
And if it lasts for a min, a year, or a lifetime its still the best feeling in the world..........
Thanks pretty moon .... I agree no matter how long it lasts, it is the best feeling in the world ~ wish you could bottle it heh  | |
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| Can you experience that amazing chemistry/connection more than once??
Posted: 7/15/2008 8:51:23 AM |
I wanted to write to you directly instead of using this forum. however your email is not set up to receive correspondence from the US.
Sorry Merry ~ I didn't realise, only just getting used to all the settings on here lol. I shall change that :)
Your question is something I have been considering for a very long time.
I had an amazing experience very similair to yours. He looked at me, I walked into his arms and he gave me a kiss on each cheek. I never wanted to leave his arms. We were together for 3 years. And then on and off for about 8 more years. If I saw him again today I would connect with him again. Last I knew he was married and living in another country. But I would love to see him again, just to know that our love and passion was real.
Yes, same here, it took a lonngg time for us to let go of each other, that pull was very strong. I know that attraction will always be there, yes I still love him but I'm not in love with him and my heart is open to new love.
It was the most incredible intense love and attraction I have ever felt. I have been searching for that same type of relationship for 20 years! It has not happened again. I've had a couple that came close in the chemistry department. However, they turned out to be rather self-centered men that did not completly understand the concept of truly loving another person.
I despair of ever finding this for myself again. However, I remain hopeful. I have changed my profile to reflect that I am looking for a man with a big heart and a capacity for loving. I hope that if I can find a man that understands loving unselfishly that we can have that intense relationship that I long for.
I totally understand what you're saying. I hope that you find that man for you too!! I think as long as we believe it can, we're half way there.
Sometimes I wonder if we only expereince love that way when we find it for the first time?
I do too. This man was the first man I fell in love with and loved truly, madly, deeply. I know every love is different though so I'm hopeful as well.  | |
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