| Being happy and going with the flow
Posted: 7/16/2008 2:11:31 AM | | You know even though right now I am sleep deprived, and getting surgery in a couple hours I came to realize something after my and my exwife seperated, and I don't know if anyone else has. I am completely happy with just chatting with people and posting on the forums. It sounds weird yeah I know, but I know a lot of people come to dating sites to find the love of their life or the next love. Screw it I have made some groovy friends off of here and plan on making more if I end up meeting a wonderful woman groovy if not I don't really care. I am just curious if other people have came to this conclusion and I guess some what in a sense given up on relationships in the since of OMG I am tired of this I hate it, but in the since hey I enjoy going with the flow and being happy if I find it on here I do if not thats groovy to. | |
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| Being happy and going with the flow
Posted: 7/16/2008 4:53:14 AM | Groovy????
Wow...haven't heard that one since the 60's 
I agree with you Jack...meeting people and surrounding yourself with friends is SO IMPORTANT in this world today...the hardest thing I learned when my husband died was how to be alone....I was NEVER lonely...but being alone was a whole new world for me. The best thing that happened to me was being able to get up at night when I could not sleep and know that all I had to do was turn on my computer and I'd have SOMEONE to talk to !!!
Didnt take long for me to realize that being alone really was a good thing...it was what "I" made it...and I began actually appreciating all of the things that came with it...like my house staying clean all of the time...watching whatever I wanted on TV...cooking IF I chose to....stuff like that. Didn't mean I didn't miss him...just that I was finally beginning to build a new future for myself so that I'd have a NEW past !!!!
Congrats on figuring this out !!!
It's something that a lot of people NEVER do...so they jump right back into a potentially bad situation again !!!! | |
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| Being happy and going with the flow
Posted: 7/16/2008 5:36:55 AM | I totally get what you're saying and to be honest I'm doing the same thing.
I enjoy meeting new people and that's one reason I host or co-host events. I'm not searching for someone to spend the rest of my life with as I'm currently sharing it with my daughter and there's not a whole lot of time to dedicate to a relationship outside of the time I spend with her. And that's OK.
I'm truly happy with who I am and where I'm at and don't NEED someone to "complete" me! | |
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| Being happy and going with the flow
Posted: 7/16/2008 6:57:31 AM | that si what i think these sites can do for us newly singled. (well i am not that anymore waaa)
it gives you a safe haven to be with those that are in the same boat as you are.
using the forums and events are a good place to do this. BUT the forums are addictive and DO keep one from being socialized. that is where the events are good. we can get out, no matter what. not need a date, just go and have fun. some of us get the added bonus of finding someone we can share our special times with.
this is a good place for "re-socialization" into the single world | |
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| Being happy and going with the flow
Posted: 7/16/2008 6:59:00 AM | oh and jack, let us know how your surgery has gone and that you are doing fine. hope that you will not be alone that first night.
also hope that your surgery isnt anything too serious (ALL surgeries are serious)
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| Being happy and going with the flow
Posted: 7/16/2008 11:27:37 AM | Jack , first let me say I hope the surgery goes smoothly.
Groovy... wowza took me back a few years.
Being single again. I must say it was so freaking hard on me to adjust. This was a second time around for me, which is another thread  the first time I had a 12 year old son and needless to say he kept me busy.
I was just telling someone at work this am that I have grown to really enjoy this being single. There are times I don't like being alone... I have to admit I do feel the lonely feeling ONCE in a while.. getting less and less.
I have met some fun people from this site. The parties are fun and the forums... well yes they are addicting.
Yes.. go with the flow. In the beginning there may be a few bumps but eventually it will get smoother and easier... that is where I am at, finally.. YES!!  | |
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| Being happy and going with the flow
Posted: 7/16/2008 6:03:59 PM | I also try and go with the flow..but after being on various sites for 5 yrs...hoping and waiting..It does get a bit disheartening sometimes.
Have also met some nice folks from here...but they don't fill the void or loneliness I feel.. Also maybe cause I'm alot older than you I feel the time clicking away.. | |
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| Being happy and going with the flow
Posted: 7/16/2008 8:04:13 PM | I say groovy on a regular basis part of the stage lingo that has stuck with me off stage along with rock on, and dude. The surgery sucks I had a really bad hernia and I hurt worse now then before the surgery, and I am taking my pain killers like candy and they aren't doing anything lol.
I know what you mean by you feel time is clicking away. I do too, but I have learned from some past experiences that the harder and hard I try to find love the further away it becomes, and the harder it is to reach. That is my experience because everyones experiences are different.
After years of bouncing from serious relationship to the next then being married, and with the same woman since I was 18, and then after that meeting someone and becoming serious with her. I finally learned and figured out that I don't need someone in my life, but I would like that special someone. This time though I am not going to fall for the first one that comes along saying those sweet things, and I am makung sure they meet the standards I set. | |
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| Being happy and going with the flow
Posted: 7/16/2008 8:09:03 PM | Good plans..take it slow and easy..make sure they can be your best friend.
I had to have incision hernia surgery..after having a major blocked intestional surgery..it was no fun..1st one kicked my butt..almost died.. | |
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| Being happy and going with the flow
Posted: 7/16/2008 9:22:15 PM | | Yeah I was at the ER literally every other day having them push it back in cause it would pop back out worse then before, and my surgeon wanted to wait until he got back from vacation to do the surgery since it wasn't severely incarcerated. They told me with how bad it was and mine was more intrusive because of how every time it popped back out it was worse and larger that I am laid up for the next 30 days. Hell great way to save some money from not going out or driving anywhere plus will help me in my goal of quitting smoking cause I don't smoke in my house, and I can't get up and walk outside every time I crave a cigarette lol. | |
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| Being happy and going with the flow
Posted: 7/17/2008 7:21:08 PM | flower, you are not OLD lol
you may be able to apply ice for about 10-15 minutes on the surgery site to help reduce the pain. YOU MUST HAVE A TOWEL BETWEEN THE ICE AND YOUR BODY!!!
also, try rolling on your side to sit up. remember to use a pillow or folded towel over your incision when you cough or sneeze, to splint the site. this technique may help you when you move about
now, take too of these and call me in the morning.
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| Being happy and going with the flow
Posted: 7/19/2008 4:14:40 PM | Flower,
You have got to be kidding, you don't look old at all, and I looked at your profile, your not old..I am only a couple of years younger, and I don't consider myself old at all..remember you are only as old as you feel or act, in this day and age you just hit the top of the hill, 50 is the new 40 enjoy  | |
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| Being happy and going with the flow
Posted: 7/20/2008 6:25:28 PM | | Thanks ballwin lady..in some ways i do feel like I have been in my prime since hitten 50..no kids no worries..liven my live now | |
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| Being happy and going with the flow
Posted: 7/20/2008 6:33:51 PM | daymun I wish I could say NO worries. I try NOT to worry but there are days....IF I had a few hundred million sure would help with the worries no doubt... oh well in the end... I won't give a fat rats arse! 
I had to go thru the empty nest symdrome for a little while but I am getting use to this single life and it is a LOT simplier than it was when my son was at home.
Just like today, I went to a friends and we went swimming.. on a whim. It was so nice and relaxing and if I had youngins, I would have to make arrangements and go thru all of that hassle.
So yes, being happy and going with the flow is nice. It is peaceful and it sure feels good. However one of these daysssssssssssssss   | |
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| Being happy and going with the flow
Posted: 7/30/2008 10:40:50 PM |
Thanks Meoowzie...but I am kinda old..lol
Well, I'm older than you and I don't consider myself old, but think of yourself as you wish. Actually, someone described me as "old, smart, and tough" and I kinda like that. I was also recently called "sick, wrong, and perverted" (the flattery never quits) all because I was tired and wanted to leave a music jam at 3 a.m. Well, someone has to be the first one to wimp out and say it's time to go to bed. And my favorite: "Dangerous but too good to pass up." My friends, gotta love 'em. | |
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| Being happy and going with the flow
Posted: 7/30/2008 10:46:03 PM | By the way, OP, I hope by now that your surgery is well healed and fading from memory.
I kind of dig what you're saying. I've gotten thoroughly addicted to the forums here and really enjoy some of the comments. Some folks are really interesting. And some are pretty stupid but what the hey, I'm not stuck in a room with them, I can move on to the next comment. I really like hearing what people have to say and what they think about. And I hope that those who are struggling will take some encouragement. We all learn from each other, if we're lucky. As for finding love - we can do what we can to make ourselves ready and available, but it comes when it comes. We can't force it. It's frustrating, but there it is. It's best if we can sit back and enjoy life as it's occurring, even the parts that suck, because as far as I know this is the only life we have, at least for now. If we find someone special to love along the way, so much the better, but meanwhile we gotta live. | |
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| Being happy and going with the flow
Posted: 8/2/2008 11:37:16 AM |
By the way, OP, I hope by now that your surgery is well healed and fading from memory.
Nah still trying to recover had some bad complications. Of course what do you expect when your surgeon's name is Dr. Hacker (I am not joking that is my surgeon's name).
Right now I am just rolling with it and going with the flow. I am selling off my business because the economy and stress from it are killing me, and I want to focus on my son, and my music especially since my band is going some where pretty fast. It is kind of groovy not having the worries of OMG will I ever find someone, but just going with the flow making friends. Man it is kind of creepy to finally be realizing this at 26, but I have some friends that are literally twice my age and have just realized it and of course I have some that have still yet to realize it. | |
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