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Show ALL Forums  > Washington  > What one flaw would you NOT want your potential mate to have???      Home login  
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 Schnoozer
Joined: 3/12/2008
Msg: 1
What one flaw would you NOT want your potential mate to have???Page 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
What would be a deal breaker for you if your potential mate had that one major flaw ???

Dental Issues ??

Abusive past ???

Drug user ???

Financial problems ??

Let it flow people...

Lets hear what you fine folks have to say on this issue
 Childlike Wonder
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 2
What one flaw would you NOT want your potential mate to have???
Posted: 7/16/2008 5:46:48 AM
Here's where I get nailed for being shallow...Dental hygiene is a huge deal for me. Missing and/or rotten teeth are something I cannot get past in a potential mate. I take pride in my smile and I've worked hard to keep it. When I didn't have dental insurance, I called around and found a dentist willing to let me pay for cleanings only and he'd comp the exam. There are also numerous services out there for low income people who need dental work. Around the area I live, rotten teeth often mean the person was or is a meth user.

Abusive past would need more explanation before I could make a judgment. I'm pretty good at sensing who is an angry person, often within an email or two, or just by spending time with them. I avoid those people. If someone has been abused in the past, I don't hold that against them, but I do realize they'll have issues with trust.

Drug user meaning what? I'm not a current user of anything, but if someone smokes pot occasionally, that doesn't bother me. I think it should be legal anyway. Anything else would be a turnoff.

Financial problems are something that can happen to the best of people, so no, it's not a big deal. I'm more about what are you doing to make it better? If you're living with mom and dad in your 40's and spending your paycheck to trick out your pickup, going to bars, etc. then yeah, I'm not going to be interested.

Great topic!
 fiatlover
Joined: 4/14/2008
Msg: 3
What one flaw would you NOT want your potential mate to have???
Posted: 7/16/2008 10:52:57 AM
Thanks Curls, I couldn't have put it better, I would have answered the same on each subject, soooo lucky everyone, I keep this one short
 bowlerman67
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 4
What one flaw would you NOT want your potential mate to have???
Posted: 7/16/2008 5:06:49 PM
Mine would have to be anger issues. There is just no reason to yell, scream, any kind of fighting. Talk it out and lets move on. I cannot stand any kind of negativity. It is becoming my biggest pet peeve in people.
 Childlike Wonder
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 5
What one flaw would you NOT want your potential mate to have???
Posted: 7/16/2008 5:23:47 PM
Fiat, we gotta be friends now with all this agreeing with one another!

Bowler, anger is a sad, sad gig. I've had to remove some family members from my life because of it.
 bowlerman67
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 6
What one flaw would you NOT want your potential mate to have???
Posted: 7/16/2008 5:59:04 PM
I am sorry to hear that curls. I have a brother who I could let go at any time if he goes back to his heavy drinking pi$$ed off at the world attitude. He seems to have mellowed the past couple of years.
 vaxplant
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 7
What one flaw would you NOT want your potential mate to have???
Posted: 7/16/2008 8:24:54 PM
Disrespecting me or my time is the primary one. Flaky = gone.
 Fleur_de_Lis
Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 8
What one flaw would you NOT want your potential mate to have???
Posted: 7/16/2008 9:18:40 PM
Chronic gas...


 Childlike Wonder
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 9
What one flaw would you NOT want your potential mate to have???
Posted: 7/17/2008 5:21:50 AM
Fleur~I had a boyfriend who thought it was an art form...Talk about a mood killer!
 LisaRocks63
Joined: 1/7/2005
Msg: 10
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What one flaw would you NOT want your potential mate to have???
Posted: 7/17/2008 9:35:55 AM
lol Do we REALLY have to narrow it down to one? Afterall, I'm so perfect! ;o)
For me, dental hygiene is a big one. I can deal with crooked, but lack of brushing is disgusting! Anger/abuse of any sort is not something I tolerate either. And, I'm not a smoker, never have, never will. It may sound shallow, but its a definate 'deal breaker' for this gal! All this said, the one that I refuse to deal with is lying...either directly or by omission. This goes for friends as well as potential mates. If you don't have honesty, what IS there??
 Obsidian71
Joined: 6/9/2008
Msg: 11
What one flaw would you NOT want your potential mate to have???
Posted: 7/17/2008 11:44:51 AM
Violence
Illegal Drug use
Disloyalty
Pervasive Negativity
Lack of affection
 Fleur_de_Lis
Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 12
What one flaw would you NOT want your potential mate to have???
Posted: 7/17/2008 6:54:53 PM
I was just joking, Curls, but poor you!

Have you seen who Christina Applegate is dating? He's a bass player named Martyn Lenoble - he looks good until he smiles - he has a front tooth missing.

Why would anyone want to look like a Jack O'Lantern?


 obear
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 13
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What one flaw would you NOT want your potential mate to have???
Posted: 7/17/2008 8:02:10 PM
I agree with Obsidian71, and bad dental (yellow and missing)Writing about dental, I know I am getting old when I talk about that!
Also would add controlling.
 bowlerman67
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 14
What one flaw would you NOT want your potential mate to have???
Posted: 7/17/2008 9:47:20 PM
Another one is somebody "TELLING" me what to do. You will see me out the door faster than the speed of light if a woman wants to control things.
 Childlike Wonder
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 15
What one flaw would you NOT want your potential mate to have???
Posted: 7/18/2008 6:15:13 AM
Fleur, I did see that on an entertainment blurb while I was reading the news. Is that supposed to mean if it's good enough for Christina Applegate, we should shut up? Ha!!
 Khamya
Joined: 12/22/2007
Msg: 16
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What one flaw would you NOT want your potential mate to have???
Posted: 7/18/2008 10:04:30 AM
I'll go a step farther than dental: Ugly. I don't mean unattractive or plain. I mean that if I do not want to look at the person, if when she comes into my sight my first reaction is to look away, that is a deal breaker.

Drug use, even pot even if it is medicinal. I fully support people who want to, but I don't want to live with one ever again. And if there's no potential for living together, well, lets just be friends, I love friends and am always willing to make more.

Children. Other people's? Fine. Mine (even the potentiality of step-children)? Not gonna happen. Over 18 or not doesn't matter.

Hygiene. I'm quite healthy, my biggest flaws are that I don't shave as often as I should and I don't put the clean laundry away right off the bat so my clothes are usually wrinkly from sitting in the basket overnight (sometimes more than overnight). But bathing regularly, clean clothes, brushing your teeth, etc really are mandatory.

Crusader/Victim. I mean the mentality. I don't want anyone who feels they need to champion a cause. Draw a line in the sand? Fine. Go out and start something? Pass. There's a whole mindset of fear and lack and need for control and the need to be right that go along with the crusader behavior that I just don't want to deal with. And by victim, I mean the chronic victim mentality. I'm not talking about someone who got robbed or assaulted, or abused. I mean the person who is constantly offended, constantly afraid, constantly blaming others and avoiding responsibility.

"You complete me". Deal breaker right there. I don't want a broken person looking to be fixed. I don't want half a person. If she needs help, I am happy to be a friend. But if she needs to be married to feel complete, or is jealous of all her friends who are in couples, or can't take being single, or this or that. Pass.
 Wpnstroop
Joined: 1/7/2008
Msg: 17
What one flaw would you NOT want your potential mate to have???
Posted: 7/19/2008 11:43:08 AM
Lack of integrity.

Not keeping their word, thinks honesty is situational, thinks the end justifies the means.

That's not only a deal breaker, it would make me actively dislike that person.

Bill
 bowlerman67
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 18
What one flaw would you NOT want your potential mate to have???
Posted: 7/19/2008 11:49:56 AM
^^^^^ I guess I reacted too quickly when I posted the first time. Integrity is huge for me as well. I dated a lady around this time a year ago, and shw was always late and told me didn't think it was important for her to call me. I sure hope that curb didn't hurt too much.
 Hairis4girls
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 19
What one flaw would you NOT want your potential mate to have???
Posted: 7/19/2008 4:25:37 PM
I have a couple:

1.) "Recovering ______" (fill in the addiction of your choice).

I'm really happy that you've overcome something, but AA slogan bumper stickers make me shudder. I've been in relationships with women with three different addictions (gambling, eating, alcohol), so I'm speaking from experience. Besides, I may occasionally want to do the things you have to stay away from.

2.) "I love animals. I have 5 dogs, 3 cats, 6 hamsters, an iguana, and a pygmy goat that sleeps with me!".

I like animals too. Enough, in fact, to know that no animal should have to endure living with me as his keeper. Besides, your house stinks and your clothes are covered in goat hair.

Kent's 2 cents.
 susu_1wa
Joined: 2/17/2006
Msg: 20
What one flaw would you NOT want your potential mate to have???
Posted: 7/19/2008 4:40:22 PM
Even though the listed ones are pretty good deal breakers you can Impotence to the list. That is, permanent or semi permanent. The once in a while kind is okay.
 vaxplant
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 21
What one flaw would you NOT want your potential mate to have???
Posted: 7/19/2008 8:14:46 PM
HAHA Susu you kill me sometimes. :)

It's true though, either side of that fence (impotence or "sex isn't important to me") can be a real dealbreaker. I know for a fact that I'm a very phsyical person and it's important to me to be with my partner on a regular basis, I need to feel wanted and desired. If I don't, the relationship just won't work no matter how well the other cylinders in the engine are firing.
 Khamya
Joined: 12/22/2007
Msg: 22
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What one flaw would you NOT want your potential mate to have???
Posted: 7/21/2008 9:16:53 AM

That is, permanent or semi permanent
Not willing to use the work around of tongues and toys?
 gvnage
Joined: 6/16/2008
Msg: 23
What one flaw would you NOT want your potential mate to have???
Posted: 7/21/2008 4:17:22 PM
Well why limit it to one when there are (or should be) so many no-negotiables. Of course there are all kinds of people on here with all kinds of standards or lack of them, so good idea to spell it out: Substance use/abuse, criminal activity, dishonesty, even when the excuses are creative, hatred or resentment for the opposite sex-ie blaming. Inability to give or recieve love and fear of intimacy is another huge one. Posts that ask where are all the good ones at are red flags. Those of us who know our own worthiness, know there are billions of people on the planet and at least several thousand singles right here, so we like our own company and arent busy worrying about where the mysterious date that hasn't yet discovered us is busy hiding themself.
What one flaw would you NOT want your potential mate to have???
Posted: 7/21/2008 10:34:27 PM
They can't like rap music
 bowlerman67
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 25
What one flaw would you NOT want your potential mate to have???
Posted: 7/22/2008 4:56:13 PM
They also cannot smoke. I don't care how hot she is, how she treats me, now way no how. Even though it is done outside public places, the smell of it when a smoker enters the building basically gags me.
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