| What one flaw would you NOT want your potential mate to have???
Posted: 7/16/2008 2:19:16 AM | What would be a deal breaker for you if your potential mate had that one major flaw ???
Dental Issues ??
Abusive past ???
Drug user ???
Financial problems ??
Let it flow people...
Lets hear what you fine folks have to say on this issue | |
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| What one flaw would you NOT want your potential mate to have???
Posted: 7/16/2008 5:46:48 AM | Here's where I get nailed for being shallow...Dental hygiene is a huge deal for me. Missing and/or rotten teeth are something I cannot get past in a potential mate. I take pride in my smile and I've worked hard to keep it. When I didn't have dental insurance, I called around and found a dentist willing to let me pay for cleanings only and he'd comp the exam. There are also numerous services out there for low income people who need dental work. Around the area I live, rotten teeth often mean the person was or is a meth user.
Abusive past would need more explanation before I could make a judgment. I'm pretty good at sensing who is an angry person, often within an email or two, or just by spending time with them. I avoid those people. If someone has been abused in the past, I don't hold that against them, but I do realize they'll have issues with trust.
Drug user meaning what? I'm not a current user of anything, but if someone smokes pot occasionally, that doesn't bother me. I think it should be legal anyway. Anything else would be a turnoff.
Financial problems are something that can happen to the best of people, so no, it's not a big deal. I'm more about what are you doing to make it better? If you're living with mom and dad in your 40's and spending your paycheck to trick out your pickup, going to bars, etc. then yeah, I'm not going to be interested.
Great topic! | |
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| What one flaw would you NOT want your potential mate to have???
Posted: 7/17/2008 9:35:55 AM | lol Do we REALLY have to narrow it down to one? Afterall, I'm so perfect! ;o)
For me, dental hygiene is a big one. I can deal with crooked, but lack of brushing is disgusting! Anger/abuse of any sort is not something I tolerate either. And, I'm not a smoker, never have, never will. It may sound shallow, but its a definate 'deal breaker' for this gal! All this said, the one that I refuse to deal with is lying...either directly or by omission. This goes for friends as well as potential mates. If you don't have honesty, what IS there?? | |
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| What one flaw would you NOT want your potential mate to have???
Posted: 7/17/2008 6:54:53 PM | I was just joking, Curls, but poor you!
Have you seen who Christina Applegate is dating? He's a bass player named Martyn Lenoble - he looks good until he smiles - he has a front tooth missing.
Why would anyone want to look like a Jack O'Lantern?
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| What one flaw would you NOT want your potential mate to have???
Posted: 7/18/2008 10:04:30 AM | I'll go a step farther than dental: Ugly. I don't mean unattractive or plain. I mean that if I do not want to look at the person, if when she comes into my sight my first reaction is to look away, that is a deal breaker.
Drug use, even pot even if it is medicinal. I fully support people who want to, but I don't want to live with one ever again. And if there's no potential for living together, well, lets just be friends, I love friends and am always willing to make more.
Children. Other people's? Fine. Mine (even the potentiality of step-children)? Not gonna happen. Over 18 or not doesn't matter.
Hygiene. I'm quite healthy, my biggest flaws are that I don't shave as often as I should and I don't put the clean laundry away right off the bat so my clothes are usually wrinkly from sitting in the basket overnight (sometimes more than overnight). But bathing regularly, clean clothes, brushing your teeth, etc really are mandatory.
Crusader/Victim. I mean the mentality. I don't want anyone who feels they need to champion a cause. Draw a line in the sand? Fine. Go out and start something? Pass. There's a whole mindset of fear and lack and need for control and the need to be right that go along with the crusader behavior that I just don't want to deal with. And by victim, I mean the chronic victim mentality. I'm not talking about someone who got robbed or assaulted, or abused. I mean the person who is constantly offended, constantly afraid, constantly blaming others and avoiding responsibility.
"You complete me". Deal breaker right there. I don't want a broken person looking to be fixed. I don't want half a person. If she needs help, I am happy to be a friend. But if she needs to be married to feel complete, or is jealous of all her friends who are in couples, or can't take being single, or this or that. Pass. | |
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| What one flaw would you NOT want your potential mate to have???
Posted: 7/19/2008 11:49:56 AM | | ^^^^^ I guess I reacted too quickly when I posted the first time. Integrity is huge for me as well. I dated a lady around this time a year ago, and shw was always late and told me didn't think it was important for her to call me. I sure hope that curb didn't hurt too much. | |
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| What one flaw would you NOT want your potential mate to have???
Posted: 7/19/2008 4:25:37 PM | I have a couple:
1.) "Recovering ______" (fill in the addiction of your choice).
I'm really happy that you've overcome something, but AA slogan bumper stickers make me shudder. I've been in relationships with women with three different addictions (gambling, eating, alcohol), so I'm speaking from experience. Besides, I may occasionally want to do the things you have to stay away from.
2.) "I love animals. I have 5 dogs, 3 cats, 6 hamsters, an iguana, and a pygmy goat that sleeps with me!".
I like animals too. Enough, in fact, to know that no animal should have to endure living with me as his keeper. Besides, your house stinks and your clothes are covered in goat hair.
Kent's 2 cents. | |
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| What one flaw would you NOT want your potential mate to have???
Posted: 7/19/2008 8:14:46 PM | HAHA Susu you kill me sometimes. :)
It's true though, either side of that fence (impotence or "sex isn't important to me") can be a real dealbreaker. I know for a fact that I'm a very phsyical person and it's important to me to be with my partner on a regular basis, I need to feel wanted and desired. If I don't, the relationship just won't work no matter how well the other cylinders in the engine are firing. | |
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gvnage
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Joined: 6/16/2008
Msg: 23 | |
| What one flaw would you NOT want your potential mate to have???
Posted: 7/21/2008 4:17:22 PM | | Well why limit it to one when there are (or should be) so many no-negotiables. Of course there are all kinds of people on here with all kinds of standards or lack of them, so good idea to spell it out: Substance use/abuse, criminal activity, dishonesty, even when the excuses are creative, hatred or resentment for the opposite sex-ie blaming. Inability to give or recieve love and fear of intimacy is another huge one. Posts that ask where are all the good ones at are red flags. Those of us who know our own worthiness, know there are billions of people on the planet and at least several thousand singles right here, so we like our own company and arent busy worrying about where the mysterious date that hasn't yet discovered us is busy hiding themself. | |
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