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Posted: 7/16/2008 4:55:06 PM | A friend brought up a curious thought today.
He's in a serious relationship with a woman who was married for years. Over her marriage she said that for the most of it, her and her husband had sex virtually every day. Even if it was her period, then she gave him oral.
My friend is in his early fities and he says the hardware doesn't work as often as it did when he was 19 or 20. So he figures he can't have sex with her that often. Although he's trying for every other day.
But that's still not the part that bothers him...
What bothers him is that he can't possibly have sex with her, as often as her husband did, unless he lives until he's about 102! By then she'll be in her late nineties. LOL
I told him by the time she reaches that age, Alzheimers will have taken care of memories of her husband's sex. LOL
But it made me think. I've honestly never considered it before. I mean, he's right, really...
Would it bother anyone to be in this situation? To know that you and your S/O can't possibly have sex as many times as they (or you) might have in the years before you met... | |
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Posted: 7/16/2008 5:01:39 PM | To me, that sounds rather childish. Why in the world would a woman who is in a serious relationship with a man bring up how many times she and her husband had sex anyway? Almost like it is a competition.
Of course we are older, and when younger we had sex more often ( I know I did ).. You can't expect to have it as often when you are older. It takes longer for the plumbing to work and then time to recouperate. JMO | |
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Posted: 7/16/2008 5:07:42 PM | | I would have to agree with Ageless on this one! Who cares how many times anyone has had it in the past with their past mates? Key being "past"???? We are older, that's a definate given! lol If one looks in the mirror, do they see the person that they were 20 years ago? No, they don't. So why on earth would they expect themselves to perform the same??? | |
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Posted: 7/16/2008 5:23:29 PM | | Here's another one who agrees with Ageless. I have never brought up that kind of thing with any man. A new relationship is a brand-new start and items like that from one's past should not be brought into it. Geez, it's nothing like psyching the new guy out by intimating that he's deficient in the frequency area. Pretty soon, he'll just call it a day and find someone who's not into comparisons. | |
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Posted: 7/16/2008 6:08:57 PM | | That guy seems like a loon! I was in a brief relationship with someone who seemed normal in the beginning (yeah yeah), but after we'd become intimate, became obsessed with knowing how many men I'd slept with, how often with each, their "size," how he measured up in size, frequency, staying power, talent. He would not take no for an answer. I'm shuddering just thinking about it. | |
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Posted: 7/16/2008 6:28:32 PM | So your friend is dating a woman who loves sex and he's whining.
What's the damage buddy?? Tell your friend to shut his yap and stop overanalyzing things. Does this really matter? NO | |
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Posted: 7/16/2008 6:39:30 PM | ...WHAT!!!...if he can't have sex with me everyday then its catch & release ...but in all honesty, I've been single for a bit, so if I only have sex every once in a while....it would be more often than what I getting now.
...maeflowers | |
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Posted: 7/16/2008 7:08:47 PM | Hmm...dodo birds are extinct, but loons still abound!
Is your friend dating Brett Favre? This guy needs to score more than anyone with every gal he dates? So....until he gets to the magic number, what is the woman to him? Borrowed property? A rutting post? What?
Let me see....because of the woman's age, NO ONE ON EARTH will be able to beat her ex-husband's tally. Doesn't calm the guy down? How about this----assume she's lying and the ex was 99% impotent. Geez....what a tool. 
She should send him packing by telling him that she serviced 10,ooo troops in Gulf War I. | |
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Posted: 7/16/2008 7:18:29 PM | | Give me QUALITY over quantity, any day! I'd rather be with a lover who rocks my world weekly, than one who bores me to tears daily. | |
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Posted: 7/16/2008 8:12:39 PM | | quality my friend not quanity. everyone has a past. why do you want to compete with an ex? is that your goal to be a better ex? | |
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Posted: 7/16/2008 8:52:08 PM | | I beat my own record all the time. | |
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Posted: 7/16/2008 8:59:55 PM | Why do people feel the need to share such intimate details about their ex with the new person they are having a relationship with???
I think is crass and very rude. Who needs to know what those two were doing and how often when she had her period? Not her current husband, for sure! Ewwwwww! Just gross.
She either still in highschool (mind age) and needs to make him feel insecure.
or just has no tact at all.
Apparently she married the right guy because instead of him saying to her "please, I don't need to know" he sat there and heard the whole sex menu she used to have with her ex and now feels insecure about his performance.
To each its own. | |
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Posted: 7/17/2008 4:02:46 AM | | From the sounds of it, she's wearing the pants in the relationship and he's become the "measuring stick". | |
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Posted: 7/17/2008 5:06:09 AM | | All this talk about sex every day is making me horny. Any of you ladies up for my annual treatment? | |
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Posted: 7/17/2008 5:27:52 AM | Well as a non american here.....having sex every day is not an oddity
Sex can be...and should be IMO a SENSUAL experience, not just whack it in and get it done type thing.
And SENSUALITY is something that's enduring throughout a good and healthy relationship.
As to talking freely about her ex husband. If he was the only man she had been with, thats what is to her NORMAL and so NOT having sex every day would make her feel....odd.
Why should she not discuss it with her partner? If she had a good and loving relationship with her husband, is the expectation she now act like some virginal teenager, lose her memories and sweep the other one under the carpet?
Not a chance
I think their discussion is a healthy and a necessary one. The fact that they CAN discuss it openly says they are both adults and probably have what it takes to make another good relationship.
Whether that is based on sex every day....or some other form of intimacy and sensuality each day..is up to them. Good on them both. Should be more of it. | |
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Posted: 7/17/2008 9:31:33 AM | And is the nympho's former husband her ex or is he dead? Maybe she screwed him to death. And any man who would put his penis between the teeth of a woman with PMS is a brave and tough hombre. My advice to your friend is...
RUN, FORREST, RUN!  | |
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Posted: 7/17/2008 9:34:13 AM | | Not really. what my s/o did in her previous relationships is really only my business if she wants to discuss it. I would not really want to be privy to the stuff on sex that much either. I am open to discuss it, and have done so in the past, but it really matters less about what she did before as what we are doing now. | |
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Posted: 7/17/2008 9:41:18 AM | Thinking back to my married days........I know that I had sex much less often then, than I do now..........  One of the issues that brought on divorce.
OT........It is so nice to have great memories, and good thoughts of those you have been with, enjoyed, experienced, and yes, in bed with as well, but those are all memories, and the one you are with NOW, is all that really matters......
Just my opinion.......   | |
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Posted: 7/17/2008 11:13:11 AM | And how old is this ex husband.?
I mean who didnt have it every day when they were younger. I bet her ex has a diminished libido at some point. No one can go at it every day when they get older even with viagra. 
Oh wait...is that why he is now an ex and she has to talk about it? I hope this relationship has some emotional substance and its not just all about sex.
The big scoreboard in the sky says ex husband 7654..........new bf 1 lol
Wow she seems to have really put the pressure on................. | |
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Posted: 7/17/2008 12:34:11 PM | Yeah Ageless..you definitely get my vote here as well.
OP.. your ex is your ex for a reason. Whether the sex was good.. often.. or whatever.. something was greatly amiss. That's what made them ex's. If they're in a "serious" relationship now.. and can talk so openly about past sexual endeavors.. I'm sure they've had sex together.. and.. the "serious" relationship is still going. I think that pretty much states it all! Over-analyzing much? | |
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Posted: 7/17/2008 12:49:27 PM | | I hate it when people talk about how good/often the sex was with their ex/dead spouse/significant other to the person they're with now. Live in the present, not the past! Appreciate what you got now. | |
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Posted: 7/17/2008 5:42:22 PM | And everyone here putting their 2 cents worth in...is single?
This thread is an eye opener.
Guys who said they actually divorced a woman because they werent getting enough sex?
My god, it confirms the old MEN ONLY WANT SEX thing, and women have to 'put out' or he'll leave her. Geeze. I always thought that was a fairytale. No wonder SOME women feel the need to portray themselves as nymphos to even GET a man. But, ya know, you'd probably just get one who WOULD walk out on you if you didnt put out!
No apologies. Dont put it on the exchange of goods list and it wont be a COMMODITY! 
Women who are saying libido drops off and no-one can do it every day? Who are you kidding????
Maybe men who drink too much alcohol, have an unhealthy diet, dont exercise enough, and maybe just DONT WANT TO GO THERE. Ya know the old....men try and women have a headache scenario. Seriously, who would want to go through all that BS after a few years of it?
Discussing sexuality or sexual needs/wants/preferences from either partner (or preferrably both) is a natural part of any healthy relationship.
The alternative is this (and this is what happens too often)
Female: OO BABY I CANT GET ENOUGH OF YOU (until the wedding ring is on the finger) and then its a whole other story.
Male: Darling I would give to you the moon...which becomes IS THE WASHING DONE YET?
In both cases, both of them are lying to each other and sometimes to themselves, just to CATCH someone. But who wants to make love to a lie?
If that shite isnt in the relationship...you WILL have a healthy sex life way into your middle years.
And as to a woman who has oral sex with her husband when she has her period. Maybe, just MAYBE they HAD a great relationship because she gains PLEASURE from seeing him happy, and was happy it was a part of the whole deal. And quite possibly her husband did many things for HER that he knew she would love and would make her happy too.
Is this such an alien concept in this world of GIMME GIMME GIMME and WHATS IN IT FOR ME???
Turn it around. Focus on your partners happiness instead of your own. And you might not be hanging around on a singles site for the next 20 years. | |
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Posted: 7/17/2008 6:13:26 PM | God almighty - don't you just hate comparison shopping? What in sam hell good does it do for you and your lover? I just love it when people dredge up the past. Who cares that the former husband was a great lover, and had a remote control for a pecker?
What this little lady needs to keep in mind is her current suitor. It's so unfair to compare your present partner with former partners. We're guilty of this at some time, but let's get real, what does it really accomplish? Each and every one of us has a different soul, and with that soul, to some extent, different body parts. | |
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Posted: 7/18/2008 6:54:11 AM | I was married for over 25 years to a woman 7 years older than me whom upon reflection I now believe was not all that sexually attracted to me. She married me because she was already in her early thirties, her clock was running and she wanted children. After the children she made it quite difficult for me to have sex with her in a number of ways. Sex was always a hassle and infrequent.
After I divorced her I met a wonderful woman whom I dated for four years. It feels like I had more sex with her during that four years than I had with my former wife in over 25. We had sex every night we were together as well as in the mornings and afternoons when we could and I was over 50. She and I had good communication, mutual respect and obviously the mutual chemistry was there.
If a woman is not all that interested in having sex with me I simply move on to the next one. A close lady friend once told me I would never run out of women and so far she has been correct. | |
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Posted: 7/18/2008 8:04:10 AM | Well of course I would not want to be compared with the lovers a lady had in her 20's because everyone knows a man's recovery time goes up as he gets older. On the other hand, I want a lady to tell me what she needs, wants and expects in this part of our relationship, as in every other part sooner or later. I suppose I think it odd if she got too detailed about past partners but I would probably look past that to try to get the messages she is trying to send me.
In this case, the messages sound like "I like sex", "I will have sex every day", and "If it is my time of the month and you are still interested, I will find a way". Nothing wrong with any of that, in my book. It's a lot more interesting than "I never really enjoyed sex with a man", "Once or twice a month is about right" and "If its not one of the few days of the month I am interested, you are on your own."
By the way, all thanks to previous poster who commented on the wisdom of putting Willie any where near a lady's teeth when PMS is involved. Never thought of that, and forewarned is forearmed! | |
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