| Would You Be Mad
Posted: 7/17/2008 12:55:34 PM | In viewing some profiles of women on this site I noticed that a large amount of them indicate that they are happily in a relationship and are just on the site to meet new friends.
My question to everyone is would you be angered if you were in a relationship with someone and you found out they created a profile on a dating site even if they said they are just looking for friends? | |
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| Would You Be Mad
Posted: 7/17/2008 12:58:02 PM | | Let's just say it isn't a selling point...but why be mad about it? It's their choice where they spend their time...and if you feel a need to enforce the rules as you perceive them you may need to start up your own site. | |
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| Would You Be Mad
Posted: 7/17/2008 1:00:13 PM | | Dude it's not only a dating site, you can meet people for friendship, acitivity, etc. | |
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| Would You Be Mad
Posted: 7/17/2008 1:03:23 PM | There are a lot of people on here who are just for the forums and other reasons, and you have to commend them for their honesty. You just move along to the next profile.
What would make me mad is a married person pretending to be single or anyone who falsely represents themselves. 
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| Would You Be Mad
Posted: 7/17/2008 1:03:43 PM | | i`d think there might be a hidden agenda in it........ | |
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| Would You Be Mad
Posted: 7/17/2008 1:07:42 PM |
Dude it's not only a dating site, you can meet people for friendship, acitivity, etc.
I know that already, the question is not just directed at POH | |
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| Would You Be Mad
Posted: 7/17/2008 1:07:59 PM | | <---is one of them. and no my partner isn't mad considering he knows and my profile makes it clear i am not on here to date, just for the forums. | |
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| Would You Be Mad
Posted: 7/17/2008 1:08:59 PM | | I'd take it as a huge red flag. I personally would never have a profile up on a dating site if i was in a relationship with someone. It's disrespectful to them, and ultimately myself. | |
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| Would You Be Mad
Posted: 7/17/2008 1:11:33 PM | It's obvious that single people are more fun to be around. How many single people go to happilymarried.com?
If I found out a partner had a profile here, I'd ask her if she minded lining up a threesome. | |
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| Would You Be Mad
Posted: 7/17/2008 1:15:54 PM | | I'm married and not here looking for people to date. I've simply been banned from every other forum on the internet. So, no I wouldn't be mad if I found out that my wife were here for the same reason. Obviously if she were here for other reasons there's a whole other pile of stuff to be mad about. | |
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| Would You Be Mad
Posted: 7/17/2008 1:16:43 PM | I have friends on here but.... honestly they are friends and can all contact me via emails also. If I am in a relationship then my profile is hidden BUT I also make it clear that I still stay in contact with my friends.
They are truly JUST FRIENDS just like I have friends of both genders I email and message with each day and they would never interfere with a relationship but.... I also would be off this dating site not looking for more "friends" either. Its different having existing frinds (IN MY MIND) versus visiting profiles on here.
I know it feels right for some but.... I know for me I would want to concentrate on the woman I was in a relationship with and would not do anything to muddy the waters.
Cowboy | |
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| Would You Be Mad
Posted: 7/17/2008 1:19:58 PM |
i`d think there might be a hidden agenda in it........
Can't speak for everyone else, but I have no hidden agenda. But then again, I don't have that I am looking for friends either. My guy knows I am still on here, addicted to the forums.
If he ever wanted me to stop though, I would have no problem with it. Currently my profile is hidden, labeled "not single/not looking", and I have our picture on my profile. So all is good | |
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| Would You Be Mad
Posted: 7/17/2008 1:20:19 PM | I have been irritated by it.
It made me feel a bit insecure; and I did bring up the subject.
I asked if she was looking for someone on here, she said no just making friends, then I got in shit for violating her privacy.
Let's just say I got tossed aside for some dude on here a couple weeks after that.
She was low quality all around except for her big boobs. It wasn't always that way though, she was my best friend until we had sex a few times and then she turned completely ape-sht.
I would not be comfortable at all with someone who spends any time on any dating site.
Sure you can make friends, I have only found 2 people on here who have ever really been open to making friends, that accounts for less than 1%. What people say and what people do really aren't the same thing.
A good reason why someone should feel insecure is if the SO is attracted to anyone else on here and you happen to have a fight, well guess what, that dude is now her knight in shining armor and you're a POS. People don't have to deal with the crappy parts of relationships through these dating services, everyone goes around saying "I'm awesome and fun and it's always party time! . It's easy to become a bad person to your SO when the other guys online keep digging from under.
If I were in a relationship with anyone who spends time on here that would definitely raise red flags for me. I am jealous and territorial. At the same time I'm also tolerant which in my opinion makes me a hell of a man.
Amen bro | |
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| Would You Be Mad
Posted: 7/17/2008 1:25:51 PM | | yes i would and tell them to never meet anyone from the site or contact them either...once in a relationship you should either make it clear your in one and not looking anymore or hide the profile cause it shows nothing but disrespect towards your s/o | |
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| Would You Be Mad
Posted: 7/17/2008 1:32:35 PM | I feel it's appropriate to remain on a dating site until you decide you want to form a committed relationship with someone. Once you've agreed not to see other people, the profile should at least be hidden or made unavailable to other daters.
As for the forums: you can be active on the forums with your profile hidden, so that's not an acceptable reason to have a profile active on the dating site, so far as I'm concerned. I know this is fact because I posted to the forums myself with my profile hidden when I was in my last relationship.
As for making friends: there are LOTS of media to use to make new friends. There are all sorts of different sites on the internet to chat with people in other locations, and there are usually lots of groups available in towns for people to make friends locally.
I'm sure it's completely acceptable to some people to remain on the profile, for whatever reason, I hope they find partners who are ok with that. I'm not comfortable with it personally.
Nutt | |
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| Would You Be Mad
Posted: 7/17/2008 1:33:49 PM | Getting mad sucks all the energy out of you! Relax, let people be... | |
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| Would You Be Mad
Posted: 7/17/2008 1:41:58 PM |
I have been irritated by it.
It made me feel a bit insecure; and I did bring up the subject.
I asked if she was looking for someone on here, she said no just making friends, then I got in shit for violating her privacy.
I understand lots of people are not hear to date and are honest about that and take the time and the right steps to secure their privacy but their are others that don't | |
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| Would You Be Mad
Posted: 7/17/2008 1:42:09 PM | I'm drinking beer at work right now so no, I wouldnt be mad. lol  | |
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| Would You Be Mad
Posted: 7/17/2008 1:46:02 PM | <---- Hi, here I am, one of "those" people. Met my sweetie here - WoW - PoF actually works!
I post in the forums, he lurks my posts and occasionally makes one of his own. My profile is not hidden because that would disable the IM feature... and he and I quite often chat a bit on IM when he has some precious minutes of down time at work. I don't accept IM's from anyone else.... probably annoy people who don't read my profile before sending an IM. Sheesh, if you read my profile you'd know I am happily in a relationship.
I have friends here, both male and female, who I have come to know through the forums. Some of them have become very special to me, and I will (hopefully) maintain a friendship with them when I leave the site.
As far as continuing on here while in a relationship... my priority is my sweetie; if he ever had a problem with my still being on here, PoF would get immediately and unceremoniously dropped from my life. Posting on PoF is not a "right" I claim, it is a trust he extends.
This simply isn't an issue between us... as he has said, the day he is concerned about PoF is the day he also has to be concerned about who I speak with at work, or on my way to the corner store... where does trust begin and end?
This works for us, I don't expect it would work for everyone... but I'm in a relationship with one very special fellow, and that is the beginning and the end of my concern about the matter. | |
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| Would You Be Mad
Posted: 7/17/2008 1:48:32 PM | I think.....
1. It raises red flags that the person is addicted to the constant validation of people attracted to them.
2. There are plenty of other platonic forums on the internet.
3. I wouldn't do it. | |
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| Would You Be Mad
Posted: 7/17/2008 1:50:28 PM | Eeehhh.....yes...no.......no? No. Hard call, but I think I would be fine with it in the end - it not exactly easy to make friends once your out of the education circus - and work friends are great and dandy....but they usually are "jsut" work friends...
So meh...yeah I'd be okay with it - as long as I got to be friends too  | |
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| Would You Be Mad
Posted: 7/17/2008 1:52:13 PM | NOPE! Some are only here for the forums too..some people have met someone here and continued to use the forums. Some aren't seeing anyone and love just the forums.( you need a profile for the forums people).
Trust is a big thing between two people. If all are up front about it and have access to eachothers writings ect. It shouldn't be an issue. I think its neat to see my friends responses in the forums as I learn a great deal more about them, and they about me. It lends to great conversations together too.
If its done in a sneaky fashion you have a bigger problem. No I wouldn't be angry if its above board. | |
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| Would You Be Mad
Posted: 7/17/2008 1:52:34 PM | You cant control other people. If its an issue then I guess you would have a choice to make.
Personally I would be open for dicussion and probably would want to know where the insecurity comes from. If there is no trust......there is no relationship...........JMHO
As for getting mad. I never get mad, it serves no purpose and accomplishes nothing. | |
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| Would You Be Mad
Posted: 7/17/2008 1:55:01 PM | I wouldn't be mad, but I would expect some certain courtesies such as hiding the profile if they were here for the forums.
As for myself I find it disrespectful to my partner if I continued to poke around places like this after I have decided I would like steadily date them.
Just my .02 | |
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| Would You Be Mad
Posted: 7/17/2008 1:55:54 PM | | i wouldn't be mad....some are just on here for the fourms and if the person is being honest with you, than why jump the bullet?... | |
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