| Three wonderful weeks, now he's gone
Posted: 7/17/2008 10:13:33 PM | I haven't been this touched by anyone in a long time. I knew going in that he wasnt able to stay in town (he was here on business - pilot training) and told myself every day that it was an "enjoy each moment while it lasts" situation. All I can say is wow...
I dont think I've ever met a guy who liked me in this way, or gave me the time of day, week, and his life like he did. Our meeting place was Bennigans, we'd see each other about every other or 3rd day, and he'd tell me when his training was over the next day. What guy tells someone that unless they want to see them?? I made sure I was there each time, and always let him approach my table. And he did. Every time. Straight to me with glowing eyes.
The worst part is that I know he was beginning to feel my influence too, and everything we did or said was reciprocated. He'd tell me of some of his stresses, and I said "I just hope I've helped make your trip more enjoyable for you" and he just smiled and hugged me. The night before his last night here he said, smiling, "I'm finishing about 11:30 tomorrow, you better be here!" His last night here, I played a song for him on the jukebox that describes where I am, and play it in my car just to think of him. I am a hardbody, haven't cried in years, but hearing that song (Amanda by Boston) and thinking of him just brings me to breaking point.
To some you might think its just a travelling "fling". We saw more than just eye to eye.
My friends all said "why dont you keep in touch?". My answer to them was, hey if thats what he wants, then great, I'll be sure of it. I let him very much take the lead and show his desires and limits. The last day he gave me his number, and told me he wants to keep in touch. Now he's back in California. A VERY tough act to follow. I know. Life goes on.
Now what do I do? | |
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| Three wonderful weeks, now he's gone
Posted: 7/17/2008 10:24:34 PM | | Yes a travel fling. People life other lives and dont place certain values that they have at home on their trip. Its a way to live another life and let free. If he gave you his number, call him. Flings sometimes work out | |
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| Three wonderful weeks, now he's gone
Posted: 7/18/2008 3:34:35 AM | | wait, so you just met him at a restaurant, and that was it? and you guys just met every few days, and then he was like here's my number, call me? even though he was going back to cali? what do you want from him; for him to move to wherever you are? or do you want to move there? so you guys talked... you had a song. that doesn't mean much in the real world. the real world is full of tangible things, like bills. if neither of you are willing to move, its rather pointless to consider anything more than it was. you had a few lunches together.....he's probably married. and if not, he will be eventually. i don't know what you're asking. i don't even know what happened between you two besides lunch or dinner or whatever. that's not enough for anything, nevermind everything. you guys hung out, and thats that... you read too much into it, and the fantasy isn't going to prevail. | |
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| Three wonderful weeks, now he's gone
Posted: 7/18/2008 4:31:06 AM | Go back to Bennigan's this week-end. There's probably someone new in town and more songs on the jukebox. Oh yes, one more thing ~ get a grip!
tb | |
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| Three wonderful weeks, now he's gone
Posted: 7/18/2008 6:51:14 AM | Does he have your number and has he used it?
Have you called him yet, after all he did give you his?
If so, how did that go? | |
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| Three wonderful weeks, now he's gone
Posted: 7/18/2008 10:53:11 AM | You stop putting your heads in the clouds and making it look like it was this magical ride when all it was for him was having a girl in a different city. I bet this isnt' his first rodeo. In 3 weeks you are only going to see the good in someone. It takes a long time to get to the point of knowing their faults and annoying things.
I think you are more addicted on this romantic thought that you are into him. You are making this such an incredible magical tour when it was 3 weeks with a guy that told you what you wanted to hear and acted how you wanted him to act. Happens all the time especially with internet people. If it was so magical then he would want something more permanent with you.
I think you need to pinch yourself and get real. Good luck. | |
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| Three wonderful weeks, now he's gone
Posted: 7/18/2008 11:04:22 AM | Ok, I'm a big gooshy romantic so I thought what the OP said was very sweet and very "hollywood movie".
What to do now? That's up to you. He gave you his number. If he truly melted your heart and you think you want this to go somewhere, then call. Just be cautious....it was just 3 weeks, you have only seen the side of him that he wants you to see at this point.
But...hey...if it doesn't go anywhere, oh well....it is a hell of a romantic story.  | |
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| Three wonderful weeks, now he's gone
Posted: 7/18/2008 11:52:04 AM | Well, Ive been through this situation and for me it just didn't work out unfortunately. He did not keep his end of the bargain, sadly. Hopefully you can move on. It was difficult for me but I have. I will always treasure the good times we had together and he will always have a special place in my heart.
Good luck. | |
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| Three wonderful weeks, now he's gone
Posted: 7/18/2008 3:27:28 PM | OP, realistically there are only two things that you can do.
1) Figure out a way to spend a significant amount of time around him. Either he or you needs to take an extended vacation and spend it with the other person. I'm not suggesting anything immoral. I'm just saying spend time together, day in and day out. That way you can tell if he's the real deal. If you do talk with him over the phone, don't let the phone, internet, or even short weekend trips drive how you feel about him. Those are not sufficient and will give you "false positives". I know. I've been there and done that.
2) Forget him and move on. Take the time to grieve, to be angry, or whatever you need to do. Remember what you had, but don't let its absence poison your future. | |
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| Three wonderful weeks, now he's gone
Posted: 7/18/2008 5:17:02 PM | | Did you actually date or share a meal or were you his waitress? Your profile lists hospitality as a profession. I'm a little confused it appears that you either showed up daily at Bennigans hoping he'd be there or he only ate there every few days and you were his chosen server. | |
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| Three wonderful weeks, now he's gone
Posted: 7/18/2008 6:30:53 PM | I'm lost.
From what you've written, you 2 weren't even (what I'd call) "dating." Some guy you see in a restaurant every few days, you make small talk and chit chat. You make it sound like you had some intense relationship? Your post comes across as overly-dramatic, like something a Harlequin Romance (do they even make those anymore?) would be based on.
Were you his waitress or something?
Either there's a lot of missing details here or you made this all into something that it really wasn't. *shrug* | |
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| Three wonderful weeks, now he's gone
Posted: 7/18/2008 6:50:54 PM | >> I dont think I've ever met a guy who liked me in this way, or gave me the time of day, week, and his life like he did.
I see...and was he just average looking or gorgeous?
>> and he'd tell me when his training was over the next day. What guy tells someone that unless they want to see them??
Pretty much everyone...I don't see what big deal that is... what if he just said "I want to see you tomorrow."
>> and always let him approach my table. And he did. Every time.
?!?!....why wouldn't he approach your table...???....he came to see you, right?
>> The night before his last night here he said, smiling, "I'm finishing about 11:30 tomorrow, you better be here!"
Wow...that's so incredible...wow...I mean you're so hard to impress!
>> My answer to them was, hey if thats what he wants, then great, I'll be sure of it. I let him very much take the lead and show his desires and limits.
WHY? Why are you so unwilling to express your desire for him? It's crazy! It's like you're just being walked all over!
>> Now what do I do?
Oh, keep being an idiot...you're good at it.
>> We saw more than just eye to eye.
YEa right...you two are so in sync you have no idea what will happen next. | |
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| Three wonderful weeks, now he's gone
Posted: 7/18/2008 7:34:27 PM | No I wasnt his waitress. I'm a regular there.
No there's no "idiot" or "stupid" about it. If there is, the stupid part comes from those who think that all travellers are gigolos.
No "grip" needed, except from those who think all travellers are gigolos.
Yes there are more details, think about it, 3 weeks of contacts can't be completely detailed that quick. Like during the first week, he started sitting away from his friends from class to be with me.
"YEa right...you two are so in sync you have no idea what will happen next. " - no one ever told you that real love was mysterious huh?
Yes I knew going in that he was only here for that amount of time and that it was going to be hard after that. But not like this.
If nothing else happens, it showed that I do have some love left in me. And it was better than just being sat at home for 3 weeks.
I guess no one thinks he cares enough to think about what can happen. I know different. You wouldn't know since you weren't there. | |
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| Three wonderful weeks, now he's gone
Posted: 7/18/2008 7:42:05 PM | Color me still lost.
If you're going to post, asking people for their opinions/advice, you need to paint a proper picture and provide clearer pertinent details. More than a few of us were confused by your original post, and left wondering what the actual extent of your contact was with him; you made it sound like you saw him at a restaurant every few days and you just chit-chatted.......you never mentioned that you 2 went places together, spent quality time together, were in any way intimately involved (and that doesn't have to mean just sex). More holes than swiss cheese.
If you know differently, that he does care about you - and that we can't possibly be in the know because we "weren't there" then why (no offense) are you even turning to us; total strangers who were not there, for opinions? Seems silly to me.
Okay so he asked for your number - so did he phone? If he didn't, he doesn't care. Period. End of story.
It all sounds overly dramatic and to be honest, your posts come across as having been written by someone who's in their late teens - some young girl who's developed a 'crush' on some cute guy she's met somewhere.
And so what he told you what time he finished school or class each day...........maybe he was just making small talk?
But hey, what do I know, I wasn't there. You were. That means you should already have all the answers. | |
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| Three wonderful weeks, now he's gone
Posted: 7/19/2008 2:33:33 AM |
The last day he gave me his number, and told me he wants to keep in touch.
Ummm sister...if a man gives you HIS # and you don't call him...what???
OK...read the other responses and kinda see both sides.
Sounds magical and wonderful but...if he didn't take you out on a date and all he did was meet you at the restaurant...for 3 weeks? Not magical. He's a guy who liked to talk. You're a girl who liked to listen. If he was really into you, he would have asked you out. What you had was him having a shoulder, a pretty one, to cry on. Sorry...but unless I'm missing something I didn't see anything about you all going out somewhere else. Did you?
So he gave you his # and you didn't call...why? If you're feeling the attraction and you believe he is too...what do you have to lose by calling him?
Call.the.man.today. Unless you're afraid there's something amiss? | |
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| Three wonderful weeks, now he's gone
Posted: 7/19/2008 3:21:36 AM |
You stop putting your heads in the clouds and making it look like it was this magical ride when all it was for him was having a girl in a different city. I bet this isnt' his first rodeo. In 3 weeks you are only going to see the good in someone. It takes a long time to get to the point of knowing their faults and annoying things.
I agree. I live around tourists and we call them tourist candy here. Just play and have fun but nothing ever comes of it, when people are just passing through. | |
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| Three wonderful weeks, now he's gone
Posted: 7/19/2008 3:41:21 AM | I didn't want to wade into these waters, but since most of you seem to have neither not a single drop of human compassion, it's time for the cat-o-nine-tails.
First, the problem here is not the OP. It's YOU. You and your inability to see something mysterious and grande happening before your very eyes. If you can't connect the dots, then is it really the OP's fault? Is it not your stunning lack of imagination?
Second, out of apparent jealousy, you ply your trade as character assassin. Telling others to grow up when you get your jollies spouting ignorant and asinine opinions online is ridiculously revealing. Oh, there's some maturation needed here -- on your end.
I could go on all day, but really, a majority of the posters on this thread should be thrown off this site for being being extremely rude. | |
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| Three wonderful weeks, now he's gone
Posted: 7/19/2008 8:54:57 AM | If one cannot handle or doesn`t agree with the opinions and comments of others on an OPEN forum... Don`t Read Them !!!
Peace | |
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| Three wonderful weeks, now he's gone
Posted: 7/19/2008 9:41:02 AM |
Now what do I do?
If he gave you his number, then by all means call him, if not, take this as a lesson learned and don't play with men from out of town.  | |
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| Three wonderful weeks, now he's gone
Posted: 7/19/2008 10:08:46 AM | Sweetie.
It was a moment in time..Just ONE moment in time. And so the moment has passed, but you have a cherished memory.
Time to open your heart to someone else.......
If ,perchance, it was meant to be, then your Spirits will connect when the time is right.
PEACE | |
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| Three wonderful weeks, now he's gone
Posted: 7/19/2008 10:22:25 AM | | He gave you his number so call him. What have you got to lose? If you don't call him you'll always wonder "what if". Good luck. | |
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