| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 7/18/2008 10:16:34 AM | I keep seeing women complain on these forums about guys who finally get lucky rather it be on the first date, second, third, etc. but never return after that. I haven't known many guys who are out searching for just a one night stand. Sex, yes, but not one night stands only or one time sexual encounters only. As for me if the sex is good or even decent, then I come back for more. I've actually been able to build some long lasting relationships up that way. Yet it confuses me how woman keep complaining about one night stand men. So is it that most women are bad in bed the first time, that the average male is unlike myself and my friends or is it just that women who find guys who keep coming back for more don't post anything on the forums, hence filling the forum complaint box with only those who didn't? Does anyone know the answer?
Ed | |
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| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 7/18/2008 10:37:37 AM | Sadly to say there are a multitude of men out seeking sex for sex sake and not looking for the relationship. That has ruined it for the men who are sincere in having a life with a partner to love and who loves them back! However women are not off the hook in this. They have to learn not to give it up until there is a certain trust that a relationship is in the works and simply not a lay! It takes two to make a one night stand happen!
It would be inappropratie to 'blame' one or the other for lack of quality sex - as a reason for the demise of an impending relationship.
There has to be more communication and more honesty to make things work in a perfect world! | |
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| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 7/18/2008 10:43:32 AM | Well speaking just for me, I prefer two nightstands. One for each side of the bed. I'm a slob, and need all the storage next to my bed that I can get.
You know, books, cigarettes, flashlight, blow up frog, the usual. | |
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eazk
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Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 4 | |
| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 7/18/2008 11:03:30 AM | Sadly to say there are a multitude of women out seeking sex for sex sake and not looking for the relationship. That has ruined it for the women who are sincere in having a life with a partner to love and who loves them back! However men are not off the hook in this. They have to learn not to give it up until there is a certain trust that a relationship is in the works and simply not a lay! It takes two to make a one night stand happen!
It would be inappropratie to 'blame' one or the other for lack of quality sex - as a reason for the demise of an impending relationship.
There has to be more communication and more honesty to make things work in a perfect world! | |
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| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 7/18/2008 3:30:43 PM | | The thing that ticks me off most about these endless threads, is that it takes TWO to tango. If a person isn't certain it's going to be a one night stand, or doesn't want it to be.. why the hell are they sleeping with each other so soon? To me.. if you're ready to sleep with someone, you best be ready to face ANY and ALL repercussions... How can you blame the male, or the female for such an occurance when you were there ready and willing? Sure.. dirty pool if one or the other says they want more.. but let's face it.. be prepared to face the fact that they may not be there if you give it up too soon... | |
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| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 7/18/2008 3:47:51 PM | Most of the encounters I've had in the last little while have all been one night stands and not by my choice. And I keep hearing the same thing, "I had too good of a time and I don't want a relationship right now, and the last thing I need is to fall for you"
So this isn't a one sided thing. Girls are just as bad as guys | |
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| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 7/18/2008 5:55:35 PM | eazk - smart ass - hehehe -  - you are exactly right - that is why I posted as I did - definitely it can be interpreted for both sexes! It's a double edged sword! Since the OP was specifically stating 'guys' - my response was in direct response to the gender questioned. | |
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| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 7/18/2008 7:34:47 PM | I agree there are many guys out there as well as woman that play the game. But it makes me laugh in someways I have hear that from a lot of my female freinds. But then a group of us will go to the bar or where ever and you watch them, in comes the flashy smooth talker and off they go and then **** the next day they got taking in again.
I wish I had that gift of gab and lack of respect. Maybe some people should start looking past the flash and start giving some of us real people more of a chance they might just find that there are some real people out there. People that they can really conect with, and we can all get treated with the respect that they want.
I guess it comes down to if its to good to be true then it probably is.
There are lots of men and woman out there that are very real we all just need to break some old habits | |
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| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 7/18/2008 8:30:20 PM | Speaking for myself only, yes, I'm here searching for sex.
Reality: My wife is disabled and in severe pain at all times. We've had a sexless marriage for a long time now because of that. I do not want to leave, and do love her, but honestly, I need to touch and be touched again in an intimate way by a person of the opposite sex. I'm not looking for a hooker, and I would care to put some emotional commitment into a discreet relationship, but I'm not willing to leave my wife.
Discuss. | |
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| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 7/18/2008 8:47:01 PM | I'm not interested in one night stands and I have been extremely upset with women that want to meet fcuk and leave. What's up with that?
I guess I'm old fashioned but that seems like slut behavior and that's all I have seen on the internet dating. | |
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| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 7/18/2008 9:00:46 PM | I oppose one night stands on practical grounds. Unless you're REALLY good you can't try all the positions and places and various... um... variations in a single night. It takes a while (for me at least) to burn out on someone new.
Now there have been women I only dated once, usually b/c I couldn't put up with them long enough to get physical. There's a lot of irritating Valley Girl types and psychos out there in the Net. | |
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| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 7/18/2008 11:54:01 PM | | If I may put a different perspective on things. I am bisexual and have sought relationships with both men and women. Of the men I have communicated with, maybe 5% are really desiring relationships. Most are looking for regular sex. Even when offered that, they don't want to make a commitment to be monogamous. Whether that be because they are afraid of commitment or that they are looking for a multitude of opportunities to relieve stress. This may have been okay until the 80's, but even if you are completely vigilant about protecting yourself and your partners, sex can be deadly. Possibly, like stated by many other posters in other threads in many forums, they are desiring a variety of sexual partners to keep sex from becoming mundane and boring. Maybe this is the reason I am bisexual? No, when I look for a partner, I have no interest in the sex...at first. Probably because I am actually desiring relationships, not sex. I need to believe there is a deeper connection than is found in purely sexual encounters. Women, I find, are usually aspiring to become involved with a wonderful man who will be everything for then and have her man be completely devoted to her. Women...I really do feel for you when you have been wronged by men who you feel have deceived you. I am not feminine, but have been told often (by men) that I think like a woman. I also have spent much time around men and know how they think and feel. What I say cannot be 100% accurate 100% of the time, but it's more accurate than not. Men like to have someone care for them and still be able to roam. Having the cake and eatin' it too. I get so sick of men (sometimes women) having , from the outside, beautiful relationships--saying they would love to have sex with persons outside of their relationships. When asked about their marriage or the wedding ring on the hand of the one they are ogling...I get something like, "Ain't never seen a ring plug a hole" or "What they don't know won't hurt them". Now, I know most people don't understand (or want to for that matter) what it's like to be a monogamist bisexual who desires only to have two people to share his life with, so I am accused of doing what I am against. Well, for one: I am not against sex or multiple partners as long as all parties involved are openly and honestly communicating their intentions to all people they are involved with--not doing as they please...to please themselves, and two:I desire commitment to two individuals...one female and one male. Each having different, yet desirable qualities and features to offer me, and if they choose...each other. But I have gotten off topic. I have personally found that women tend to offer sex to keep a man. Men want sex just for the sake of having sex. When one does not get what they thought they were getting and they were asked if their partner knew what they were expecting, "I thought he/she did" or "I don't know" are the usually similar to the answer. Communication is the key. Let your partner know what you are looking for and what you are not. You most probably will not be getting as much sex, but will not be so disappointed with the relationship (such as it is/was). I do not get a lot of sex, but then, I am not looking for it either. I desire what is much harder to obtain...healthy relationships and the ability to retain my self-respect. | |
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| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 7/19/2008 4:17:18 AM | I 'fess up ive not read all posts BUT......
I honestly think it cuts both ways....
I'mm pretty sure there are alot of women out there who just want one nighters, i for one know i have gine thru my phases where thats all ive wanted, ive wante dthe bedroom side of things with none of the emotions..... | |
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| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 7/19/2008 6:12:00 AM |
Does anyone know the answer?
Yeah right... if any of us could really answer this question we would have best selling books out and be on Opra not posting here for sure. (wink)
Look to some its just the "hunt" and the "conquest". Same with men or women.
Personally if I liked a gal enough to sleep with her in the first place and she wasnt just TERRIBBLE (and that means no chance of even teaching better technique) then NO there is no reason to bail after the first "sleep over". You always hope for a second "encounter".
Cheers
Cowboy | |
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| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 7/19/2008 6:30:06 AM | Re the Opost
"Are most guys only into one night stands?"
I have not actually been in a ONS in tha last 25 years.
I prefer at least 10 night (and day) stands, and unless the sex is not that good, 9.5 weeks, at least! Unless she is too clingy! | |
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| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 7/19/2008 7:39:46 AM | | Not for me, thanks. Even when I was younger I preferred to have someone to do stuff with all day, do the holding hands, nuzzling and kissing and then finish it at night. One night stands usually feel good but the next day, nothing. A good memory or two but nothing lasting, pretty empty. Once you've had great sex there has to be something to add to that, and for me that's great, frequent sex with the same girl. Noone can ever convince me that a one-night stand is better or even close to as good as sex with a person that you click on all levels and are in love with, and it is reciprocated. You step into the bedroom and Barry White starts booming in your head, "Oh baby, this is gonna be good." And the endorphines start singing right along with him, sweeeeeeet... | |
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| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 7/19/2008 8:03:41 AM | Edster...
Nah...most guys aren't into that...wait...I'm a woman so scratch that. Sorry.
I like the "most women are bad in bed" line. If you ask most men, they'll tell you that there is no such thing as bad in bed (oops...generalizing...). OK...seriously...
Generalizations are going to get you every single time my friend. Unless you've taken a poll, MOST people on POF are gonna take a potshot at someone who says most...whatever. The men will have something to say about this one.
The women and men who go back for more don't say anything cause we're happy. Or they're happy cause I can't include myself right now 
A lot of women who do post the why question feel duped. We listen and hear what we want to hear and believe what we want to believe. And then get mad because what we thought to be true ain't. If you don't want to do a guy, don't. If your hormones get going and it feels good--before you do the nasty, ask him what he wants. What? Ask? Uh yeah...ask. If he goes limp because you've questioned him, oh well. And even more important...ask yourself what you want out of it. It's ok to allow yourself to just want sex with someone...but a lot of folks, yes I guess mostly us women, don't allow ourselves to feel that.
Quick disclaimer: "the above ramblings of Afashionlady aren't to be construed as facts based on anything but her ramblings. Poster retains the right to change her mind/remind others that this is her opinion...etc." End of legal crap... | |
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| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 7/19/2008 11:57:07 AM | I think men are after 2 differnt things....
1) a honeysuckle angel to melt into their side... so when you look ... you just kind of melt.
and then because that is fairly unlikely....
2) Some loving, kissing, fun and good sex.
I've not really met many of my friends who are after litterally 'one night stands' like conquests... I don't belive that.
but I think that maybe monogamy is something men would wish would just clear off burst into flames.....
unless of course it really really was that Honeysuckle angel.... | |
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