| Do you ever feel like you’re on one constant job interview?
Posted: 7/19/2008 2:38:22 AM | Do you ever feel like you’re on one constant job interview?
Thanks to my current employer I have recently been to a personal development day to improve my job seeking skills and interview techniques. (permanent position opening up, fingers crossed) Whilst it isn’t the first time this has occurred to me, this course has certainly made it more apparent. Let’s face it, being on a dating site is a lot like putting your resume on seek.com or careerone or such.
For whatever reason:
•You’ve been sacked (they left you),
•You decide you want something different: better pay/position/benefits - or you just couldn’t stand it any longer and had to get the hell out of there (you left them)
•maybe you’re looking for a second job, (a bit on the side) seem to be plenty of this type on here
•perhaps you’ve been out of work for a while and looking to get back into the workforce
the process is the same. Upload your resume/profile cross your fingers and hope you get some positive feedback.
The Resume
Of course before putting your profile/resume up you need to decide what you actually want. i.e. type of position/relationship your after.
a) On call casual – F&ck Buddy/Intimate Encounter
b) Permanent casual – Friends with benefits
c) Part time – Dating
d) Full time temporary – Exclusive Dating
e) Permanent – Life partner
So once you’ve decided, you bite the bullet and fill out your resume/profile. Complete the personal details, the type of job/relationship you’re after, and then the skills section or About you section.
Covering letter
Now I judge this section to be something like a covering letter. Let the prospective employer/date know that you’re interested in seeking employment/date. Now when filling this section in on your profile, you’re suppose to let everyone know a little about yourself. Include your likes/dislikes, aspirations, the type of person you'd like to meet etc. Of course we all want to present ourselves in a way that is going to make the perspective employer/partner sit up and take notice and hopefully contact us. Now during the course of this particular workshop I found that this section of my profile in particular needs some work. (now before you all go and check my profile out, I have taken this section out, as I am current working on improving it.)  Although I still believe that my original statement that you won’t read anything there that you haven’t read a thousand times before still has a ring of truth to it. I now realise that, well, I need to (in the words of the trainer) put some ice-cream on the waffle. “A poorly prepared covering letter/description of you is like a waffle without ice cream, not all that tasty unless you are starving.”
Who’d have thought putting your profile on a dating site would require so much work.
So you’ve completed the profile, read and reread it, critiqued it to within an inch of its life, you hit save, sit back and wait. Hopefully you get a few bites. Maybe even an interview/date or two. (we were told if you score an interview you’re doing really well)
The Interview
What to wear, major drama to start. Interview – work attire, business suite. Date - Don’t want to appear over the top, or underdressed, best go smart casual, at the very least something that can be maintained on a daily basis, at least then they know what they’re getting, and it didn’t take 5 hours to get ready for a ‘drink’ to see if you like each other.
Maybe a shot of something to keep the nerves at bay. LOL. (kidding) well maybe for a date but not an interview.
The introductions: Interview - firm handshake. Date - handshake or kiss on the cheek. To kiss or not to kiss, this one always gets me. Just out of curiosity what does everybody do?
The middle: We want to build a good rapport with our interviewer/date. Maintain eye contact, don’t fidget, sit up straight don’t slouch, answer questions/engage in conversation etc etc. That goes for both interview and dates and hopefully the latter will be fun as well.
The End: Thanking them for their time, nice to meet you. Blah blah blah. Handshake or kiss. That little dilemma raises its ugly head again.
The Analysis
Did it go well? Did I do as good as I thought I did? Did I blow it? Did they like me but I just didn’t meet the selection criteria. Did you think the work and pay would be great but the hours just don’t suit? If you didn’t get the job/second date was it because of something you could improve on or you just didn’t gel.
If you didn’t get it, well never mind, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and do it all over again.
If you did get the job/second date woohoo! 
Maybe I'm over thinking all of this. I'm not really all that neurotic. Maybe instead of dreading the entire process I should embrace it. Treat all prospective dates like an interview. Analyse each date, work on the worst bits, emphasis the good bits, learn and improve for next time.
Or just say f*ck it, and go with the flow.
Of course this is just my personal observation, but does anyone else feel like they are on a constant job interview? | |
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| Do you ever feel like you’re on one constant job interview?
Posted: 7/19/2008 3:13:07 AM | Really nice post, it was a good read.
Personally i don't treat this as a dating website, it's just one of the frequent forums/websites i visit. It kinda feels like a job interview, but that is only if you let it, just be yourself on your profile, don't try to sell yourself to someone.
Perhaps this is why i've been refused so many job interviews; i don't dress to impress, maybe I should? then again i'd be like everyone else which is boring.
But really, just go with the flow and be yourself. If the person doesn't like you then **** them, they can continue searching for their super model with half a brain who can't decide if she wants to eat a carrot or some broccoli.
Yeah, i get offtopic easy haha, sorry  .
- Nicko  | |
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| Do you ever feel like you’re on one constant job interview?
Posted: 7/19/2008 3:48:55 AM | Hell I don't even put that much effort into a job interview let alone a date!!
I just rock up for a date/coffee/drink/lunch not expecting too much that way I/he won't be too disappointed - what's the worst that can happen? You've spent a pleasant hour or two with someone of the opposite sex, OK it might not be fireworks but nothing ventured nothing gained? Haven't met anyone I have disliked intensely, just not right for me and me for him. Better to find out sooner than later?
I am more European and find it natural to give a peck on the cheek even to a stranger you may have spoken to on the phone, some guys get a bit thrown by that but hey it's a bonus!! | |
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| Do you ever feel like you’re on one constant job interview?
Posted: 7/19/2008 4:05:40 AM | Great post'
(now before you all go and check my profile out, I have taken this section out, as I am current working on improving it.)
This post is actually quite a workable profile in itself. Why not use it as a temporary one?
Like you imply by, "you won’t read anything there that you haven’t read a thousand times before", everyone already knows you're easy going, down to earth, love to laugh, put your family first, love honesty, and going for long walks along beaches/harbours/desert highways/wombat tracks, etc, ad nauseum.
The introductions... Just out of curiosity what does everybody do?]
When in doubt: A big beaming delighted-to-meet-you smile with a nice firm & 'warm' handshake. (Definately no tonguies to start with!) | |
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| Do you ever feel like you’re on one constant job interview?
Posted: 7/19/2008 4:13:06 AM | holly crap , im glad my job hunting skills are better than my person seeking skills or i would be out of work and would never get employed in a job anywhere like the types that im applying for.
luckly there is a masive skills shortage out there  | |
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| Do you ever feel like you’re on one constant job interview?
Posted: 7/19/2008 4:37:58 AM | I hadn't made that comparison.....previously?
I dont think I've ever not got an interview when I've gone for a job, although there's been a few times when it hasn't been me that they employed in the end. Once I actually told the employer that I didn't feel the job was what I wanted after the interview. So maybe you could view PoF as a potential labour force trying to get a job at YOUR company, rather than you hoping to be suitable for a position with them.
Or at least, that you are trying for a merger between your consortium and theirs. (Bring the marketing team and financial/legal brains to the meeting)
These days I'm more worried about getting stuck with something I hate than not getting a job at all. Its the quality of the 'employment' we're looking for. | |
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4rum
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Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 8 | |
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| Do you ever feel like you’re on one constant job interview?
Posted: 7/19/2008 6:49:46 AM | ^^ nicely put sxy, same deal here.
Maybe I'm over thinking all of this
Yes, I think you are. Just go with the flow when the opportunity arises.
Don't put yourself under so much pressure to perform. Unlike an interview the other party is in the same boat. Maybe you should consider yourself the interviewer and give yourself the upper hand? | |
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| Do you ever feel like you’re on one constant job interview?
Posted: 7/19/2008 6:52:45 AM |
Do you ever feel like you’re on one constant job interview?
Very good question.. I quite liked your analogous dissection as well.
I suppose the answer truly lays in the expectations of all concerned. many 'potentials' do indeed seem to treat it as a 'weeding' out process and we are at all honest its exactly that in many respects. I mean do we want to even meet, let alone strike up an acquaintance/realtonship with someone who's not "employable" in our lifes journey ?
NO...alas then comes the dillemma. On one hand you dont want to take it so seriously that you cant relax and just meet people as they are and on the other time is precious so why waste it on the "not suitables"
In answer to the original question I would reply: No not always but certainly sometimes. I personally dont mind if people are surrepticiously applying a vetting program towards me..Saves me half the effort !!  | |
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| Do you ever feel like you’re on one constant job interview?
Posted: 7/19/2008 7:21:21 AM | I am me, nothing or no one will ever change that, so I am just here to meet people. If people don't like me, that's fine, but I am not about to suck up to someone just to get a date.
We all need to work, well most of us do unless you are a multi millionaire, but do we all really need someone to date?
But really, just go with the flow and be yourself. If the person doesn't like you then **** them, they can continue searching for their super model with half a brain who can't decide if she wants to eat a carrot or some broccoli.
What about half a celery stick every two days. I reckon there are people on here like that. | |
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| Do you ever feel like you’re on one constant job interview?
Posted: 7/19/2008 7:39:15 AM | | I haven't been for a job interview since I was a teenager...and that's about the level of my dating skills too, so I ditch the formalities and do the same as nickomate and 'go with the flow'...and if they don't like me I just write 'JANE IS A SLVT' on the back off the dunny door. | |
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| Do you ever feel like you’re on one constant job interview?
Posted: 7/19/2008 8:00:49 AM |
So do you take the same approach to job interviews? Your dunny or theirs?
I used to, but since I work for myself it was always my dunny and the boss would always catch me and since I am the boss I couldn't sack myself or even make myself clean it off so it all became rather pointless. | |
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| Do you ever feel like you’re on one constant job interview?
Posted: 7/19/2008 5:57:24 PM | I guess the Covering Letter,Gets you a bit of a glimpse.
Then you have to get past the Essentials,if your lucky and your still moving slowly.
Then comes the Desirable,s. this one knocks your socks off for sure.Youre either gonna be a millionare or not.
Then you have to get past the OS & Health principles.Shoot with all this instant cash available,do you figure you'll be around for long.
Thats when the window shoppers just keep moving on down the line.
My profile tells you who I am , and what I,m about,and what I seek.
Quite simple,abit of a play with words ,but nothin over the top.
Yes okimgame,does feel abit like a constant job interview,must agree.
But I;m me,if you dont like what you read window shoppers,keep on moving and harrass someone else | |
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| Do you ever feel like you’re on one constant job interview?
Posted: 7/19/2008 6:24:35 PM | Perhaps take a checklist with all the selection criteria noted and an easy to work scale...
1. Does not meet criteria
2. Meets criteria
3. Exceeds criteria
And always finish with "we'll let you know by COB Tuesday"  | |
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| Do you ever feel like you’re on one constant job interview?
Posted: 7/19/2008 7:11:31 PM | Excellent post OP and great postings after.
I have a close male friend who recently gave up the "love of his life" and traded her for another who was more , in his eyes "employable with better future prospects"..I was horrified..
He explained his actions to me like this..
He definately loved and still loved "the love of his life"..no doubt there, but she was not financially stable or emotionally secure, she was free spirited and strong minded and opinionated, things that he did love about her but he did not think made for a potential marriage partner (contract). The girl he is with now is "nice", secure - in many areas of her life and can offer him stability and routine - something he apparently craves.
I was dumbfounded by this explanation but he told me that he had to look to his future , he himself had no assets and no real potential after a nasty divorce from his previous wife, so he was "grabbing the opportunity " that came his way by hooking onto her coat tails.......and going with the new life that she has offered him...sure it would be somewhat boring and he would be somewhat trapped in a gilted cage, but he was prepared to endure that for financial security and domestic harmony........he has made it very clear that she has "demanded" he give up his wild ways, something which long term I cant see him doing.
Im still shocked and amazed at his attitude and thinking. He then said to me "Pookie, your problem is that you think love is enough, that "love conquers all" that all will be be ok if two people love each other...you think thats enough. Its not. You have to make you own fate, happiness and go with what is presented with you and run with it, feelings, emotion and dare I say LOVE does not come into it". My mouth was on the ground at this revelation.
Personally I would have loved to have sat in on that interview when he told this new lady of his mission statement and business plan for her and them and their future life together ...oh yeah thats rite, he wasnt honest with her though, he hasnt told this new lady of opportunity that he doesnt love her (and he doenst) he has told her he "loves" her.Guess those soppy words came in handy while he was selling himself to her as a promotion so she could give up her current status of single !!! which to me is beyond despicable...to use one so callously to get "ahead" in life is beyond my understanding ..in the business world perhaps but in our love life.....sheesh !!!.
Call me cynical...but cant see this relationship working out, can you ?....Im sure the contract negotiation and the letter of offer would have made for entertaining reading...
Im a hopless romantic.....I still do believe in love and fate, destiny and kismet...I think its wonderful and still very realistic but in answer to the OPs question...yes I think for some people any potential meeting is a job interview for a "partner for life" ..ok a differnent approach I guess, but give me....."You had me at hello" and "You complete me", anyday................... | |
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| Do you ever feel like you’re on one constant job interview?
Posted: 7/19/2008 9:10:21 PM | In case you good folk get confused take this piece of advice from uncle Likes:
Don't bring flowers or wine to an interview, and don't bring your resume` to a date.
Apart from treat both occasions the same - wear what you like, stutter if you g-g-get nervous, and throw a tantrum if it starts to get boring.
If you're real lucky the other party would have flown you over to somewhere exotic for the occasion. I think I'll get my next first date to fly me to Rio De Janeiro, or Birdsville, or maybe Lord Howe Island. So many choices, so little time... | |
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| Do you ever feel like you’re on one constant job interview?
Posted: 7/19/2008 9:39:58 PM | Besides your initial resume/cv.
I think another idea of finding a bit more about a possible f/ship,date or what ever the searching person is looking for in some one.
Is to check if the intended profile has had any input on forums.
Just another insight into how they talk,there views on whatever thread they had a view on. | |
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| Do you ever feel like you’re on one constant job interview?
Posted: 7/19/2008 10:22:08 PM |
He definately loved and still loved "the love of his life"..no doubt there, but she was not financially stable or emotionally secure, she was free spirited and strong minded and opinionated, things that he did love about her but he did not think made for a potential marriage partner (contract).
Wait, is this really a guy you're talking about or someone who was castrated as a child?
If you love someone, that should be enough, If it isn't then you need counselling. Things like financial problems/emotional problems can be dealt with, but to also say it was because she was strong minded & opinionated is nonsense, it sounds like this guy is still living in the 1800's and needs his head checked.
This guy is your typical freeloader, "You don't make enough money, i don't love you anymore" and just jumps ship when he sees fit. Screw him, he can go get stuck in a shitty marriage with someone he doesn't love and probably despises spending time with her.
That'll learn him
- Nicko | |
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| Do you ever feel like you’re on one constant job interview?
Posted: 7/20/2008 6:39:42 AM | | Always felt like an interview to me. In fact; I actually had that mentioned in my profile at one point because it half-explained a semi-lazy effort towards filling in my profile. I said only the bare minimum :o | |
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| Do you ever feel like you’re on one constant job interview?
Posted: 7/20/2008 7:04:19 AM | This is funny, because I actually work in recruitment
I agree it can all feel like a constant job interview, and I do agree OP that a lot of what you said rings true. Our profile is SO like our "Resume", and yes the first date can be just like an interview.
I guess everyone is looking for the right "candidate" to fill their position (aka relationship).
Working in recruitment, I'm constantly amazed at the amount of candidates we get applying for positions that they're nowhere near qualified for, and often wonder if they've actually read the advertisement at all. Just like, I'm constantly amazed at how people contact you on dating websites that have absolutely nothing in common with you ~ nor have they read your profile!!
So yes the whole process is rather similar | |
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| Do you ever feel like you’re on one constant job interview?
Posted: 7/20/2008 8:47:06 PM |
Im still shocked and amazed at his attitude and thinking. He then said to me "Pookie, your problem is that you think love is enough, that "love conquers all" that all will be be ok if two people love each other...you think thats enough. Its not. You have to make you own fate, happiness and go with what is presented with you and run with it, feelings, emotion and dare I say LOVE does not come into it". My mouth was on the ground at this revelation.
Three things here.
1. People in real life call you Pookie? 
2. This is actually the sort of attitude we associate more with women than men. Just thought I'd mention that.
3. There's some validity to this. Finances are the number 1 thing couples fight about. If you can remove that issue you remove a large cause of conflict. That being said... he still sounds like a douche. | |
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| Do you ever feel like you’re on one constant job interview?
Posted: 7/21/2008 1:51:16 AM | I like to think of my profile as like the cover of a book rather then a resume. There is so much more to us then our profile much like there is so much more to a book then it's cover.
In a resume, all you are trying to do is gage whether a person is suitable for something specific, where as with people we are trying to find someone that we will like, much like looking for a book. | |
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what gets me is yes love is employment these days and not a partnership.
