Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Is it possible to love more than one woman?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 bluzchk
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 1
Is it possible to love more than one woman?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I have a question for you guys out there....is it possible for you to love more than one woman (relatives not included..I know we are supposed to love our moms)? Can you give your heart, wholey and openly to more than one? I am not talking about sleeping with both of them per se...but maintaining an emotionally intimate relationship with one while you are involved in a loving, sexually monogamous relationship with another... Has anyone done it for an extended period of time and had it work? Did the women know about the other one?
 Murf167
Joined: 9/7/2007
Msg: 2
view profile
History
Is it possible to love more than one woman?
Posted: 7/19/2008 3:14:40 PM
I suppose it could be possible, but only in some kind of polyamorous relationship. The very act of hiding that level of emotional connection would negate your ability to have a similar connection with someone else.

Just my opinion of course, YMMV.
 bluzchk
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 3
Is it possible to love more than one woman?
Posted: 7/19/2008 3:18:16 PM
YMMV? Don't know that one.....

I am familiar with the polyamory situation...my ex boyfriend was involved in one for a few years before I met him..it was foreign to me..but I am wondering if it would HAVE to be in that type of situation...
 Murf167
Joined: 9/7/2007
Msg: 4
view profile
History
Is it possible to love more than one woman?
Posted: 7/19/2008 3:25:29 PM
YMMV = Your Mileage May Vary

It's a common internet meme.

I would think it would have to involve polyamoury or some other situation where all parties are aware of one anothers' existence and the facts of the relationship. Dishonesty would seem to destroy the trust necessary for a true loving relationship.
 DaveB951
Joined: 4/12/2008
Msg: 5
view profile
History
Is it possible to love more than one woman?
Posted: 7/19/2008 3:28:35 PM
It may be possible for some men but it is not possible for me...

Peace
 engineeringemo
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 6
Is it possible to love more than one woman?
Posted: 7/19/2008 3:31:15 PM
A bit greedy, isn't it? Most people spend their entire lives looking for just one true love.
 linuxprogrammer
Joined: 3/12/2008
Msg: 7
Is it possible to love more than one woman?
Posted: 7/19/2008 3:33:06 PM
I have a question for you guys out there....is it possible for you to love more than one woman


That's a good question. Since I've never had more than one woman at a time show interest in me, it's a question I don't have the proper experience to answer. But since we're talking about emotional bonds, the most likely answer is yes.

You tend to come up with some interesting questions. Keep 'em coming.
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 8
Is it possible to love more than one woman?
Posted: 7/19/2008 4:02:35 PM
From a purely philsophical slant, I think it MUST be possible--fathers love more than one child, right? Love isn't something that actually fills the heart up--there's always room for more.

From a realistic standpoint, I don't see all that many women letting a man get that far. One or both will cut and run, because most people don't think that way about romantic love. I, personally, am not good at sharing.
 Zentimes
Joined: 12/31/2006
Msg: 9
view profile
History
Is it possible to love more than one woman?
Posted: 7/19/2008 4:06:55 PM
What do you think?
Its possible to boink more than one woman at time -- now is that the same thing?
 bullielover62
Joined: 12/2/2006
Msg: 10
Is it possible to love more than one woman?
Posted: 7/19/2008 4:12:03 PM

What do you think? Its possible to boink more than one woman at time -- now is that the same thing?


When did boinking and loving become synonymous? Boinking is physical act, loving is an emotional reaction.

My take. YMMV..... he he.......... love that one Murf.

I'm hoping I misunderstood your post there Zen......................................... ?
 bluzchk
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 11
Is it possible to love more than one woman?
Posted: 7/19/2008 4:12:35 PM
linuxprogrammer...thanks...it is nice to hear something POSITIVE and encouraging....

I like thoughtful replies...even the really witty and cryptic ones.......keep replying.....
 bluzchk
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 12
Is it possible to love more than one woman?
Posted: 7/19/2008 4:18:38 PM
me thinkith, IMHO, that Zentimes likes to get in there and shake it up a bit...

am I wrong or right? and btw...the question of whether boinking two and loving two are the same is a topic on the other board...all about monogamy..you might want to read those if you haven't already, zen...

as far as greedy? that would be the case if you were taking from them both and not loving in return. Loving two people means you are giving to them...

just my opinion...
 cuteebi
Joined: 5/13/2008
Msg: 13
Is it possible to love more than one woman?
Posted: 7/19/2008 4:29:04 PM
Possible to love more than one person?
Sure.
Acceptable to deceive anyone about it ?
Never.
Possible to have such low self-esteem you know about it, and still accept it?
I guess.
But why ever feel sad or second-rate, just to be in a relationship?
 bluzchk
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 14
Is it possible to love more than one woman?
Posted: 7/19/2008 4:34:24 PM
Good points...but some believe that as long as they know about it, ,and it does not affect their relationship in any way, that it is not "accepting" but appreciating that someone has enough love to give more than one...AGAIN...I caution all to remember that it is love I am talking about....not having sex with both....
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 15
Is it possible to love more than one woman?
Posted: 7/19/2008 4:42:41 PM
Well, if you are ONLY talking about love and NOT sex at all, then absolutely it's possible. He may also love his brother and his father and his son--so he loves men and women equally. It's also possible for me, a het woman, to love another woman.

I don't understand what you want to know.
 DaveB951
Joined: 4/12/2008
Msg: 16
view profile
History
Is it possible to love more than one woman?
Posted: 7/19/2008 5:11:58 PM
^^^^ ummm.......... I would think the OP is talking about romantic love. Big difference between romantic love and loving your son, brother, mother, friend, etc. etc. etc.

Carry on ........

Peace
 bluzchk
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 17
Is it possible to love more than one woman?
Posted: 7/19/2008 5:21:02 PM
In my original post, I say that I am talking about relationships other than familial....I am talking about the love a man has for a woman.....

Does that help?
 Dave011763
Joined: 10/19/2007
Msg: 18
view profile
History
Is it possible to love more than one woman?
Posted: 7/19/2008 5:23:26 PM
Yes I believe it is.
 Montreal_Guy
Joined: 3/8/2004
Msg: 19
view profile
History
Is it possible to love more than one woman?
Posted: 7/19/2008 6:01:40 PM
By the definition you supplied in the OP , I think it's certainly possible.

In my case, I have my "internet adopted l'il sis" in the Netherlands, and that's one type of love - a platonic one.

The woman I eventually settle down with will be the other type of love.

I could see men having these types of relationships rather easily, if this is what you mean.
 WpgGentleman2
Joined: 6/19/2008
Msg: 20
Is it possible to love more than one woman?
Posted: 7/19/2008 7:11:09 PM
Of course. Perhaps any man who can be emotionally intimate with one woman could be emotionally intimate with more than one woman at a time.

The problem is, will woman A and woman B tolerate it? Will they accept that it is emotional intimacy not physical intimacy? Or if it is both emotional and physical intimacy with both, will they accept that?

For most men, it is risky enough being emotionally intimate with one women, without adding an extra complication.
 Man of his [many] words
Joined: 7/4/2008
Msg: 21
Is it possible to love more than one woman?
Posted: 7/19/2008 7:27:56 PM
Love two women? One for kind and gentle lust, the other, for emotional intimacy?

Never been there, never done that.

I suspect very much, though, that for a man it is only possible to love, as in being in love, only one woman. Theoretically there were times in the evolution of humans when monogamy was a survival advantage, and there were times when polygamy was. Polygamy was supported or rather motivated in our mental make up by what we call "lust"; monogamy is motivated by a strong emotion called "amorous love". The two are actually compatible, but one man can only love one woman as in being enamoured by her, as in being ready to sacrifice anything for her, as in being proud of her, as in regarding her as "special". One, and only one.

This is my opinion, and I've formed it on partly going by my own feelings, and partly going along with the evolutionary theory.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 22
Is it possible to love more than one woman?
Posted: 7/19/2008 7:31:44 PM
I don't think a guy (myself definitely) could be in true love with more than one woman... having to juggle one and another and playing the whole spy-vs-spy BS would get in the way. I think it depends on how you define love though... the level of "love" you may get after dating for a few months? Yeah, I guess that could happen given certain situations.
 Nordic33708
Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 23
Is it possible to love more than one woman?
Posted: 7/19/2008 8:49:38 PM
OP
First of all I'd like to change your question to "is it possible to love more than one person?"

You look at a painting, it stirs something inside you. You move on to anther painting. Can you get the same feeling? Sure you can.
You have two dogs. One of them makes you happy with it's personality. You love the little bugger. The other dog? It has a different personality that also makes you happy. You love that one too.

You have a man, he makes you feel good, he supports you, he is someone you long to spend time with. You realize you love him.
Now, can you at the same time love another man? Sure you can. But in order to awake those feelings you'd have to spend time with that man as well. And that's were it differs. We don't have two relationships going on at the same time...erhh...well some do. But that's the heart of the matter. If you stick to one thing, you won't develop feelings for another. As soon as you let that other person into your life and spend time with him/her you might just come to love him/her as well.

We are not wired to only like one person or thing at the time. We are wired to respond to what makes us feel good. It's up to us if we allow that to happen or not.
 p03t13
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 24
view profile
History
Is it possible to love more than one woman?
Posted: 7/19/2008 8:59:58 PM
maintaining an emotionally intimate relationship with one while you are involved in a loving, sexually monogamous relationship with another


OP, I myself have a very dear friend, I love her, and would do anything for her. She is not my girlfriend, never has been, and never will be. She loves me equally, we know just about everything there is to know about each other, and both care for one another during hardship. Any time I talk to her, we both end the conversation with "I love yous." She is such a good friend that saying anything less would be an insult. We have cuddled, kissed, held hands, given massages, etc, and some of you might say that our friendship does border on the romantic side. But we have never been together sexually, and never will. She knows about every girlfriend, and I frequently ask her for advice, she does the same with me. When I am in a relationship I open myself completely to the significant other, and she is the only person I have eyes for. However, nothing can change my friendship with the first girl. I have always maintained a monogamous relationship. I don't like being cheated on therefore I assume women don't either. And yes i do tell other women about my friend, in an attempt to keep them from becoming jealous if they hear me getting off the phone with her saying "I love you too." I do not get to spend time with my friend, she lives in Texas, we have always had to deal with the long distance, she is getting married to a great guy and I am extremely happy for her. But as has been said, I do love her, I loved my ex-fiancé too, and I loved them both at the same time.

hope this helps
 techpeg
Joined: 6/21/2008
Msg: 25
Is it possible to love more than one woman?
Posted: 7/19/2008 9:51:59 PM
I gotta offer a pretty much flat no. I've never been in love with more than one woman and could never conceive doing so. I can't even wrap my head around it, how do you "love" a woman when you "love" another woman? O_o
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Is it possible to love more than one woman?