| |
| |
| if a close friend said this to you...how would you interpret it??
Posted: 7/20/2008 12:09:14 AM | | Here is a bit more of the email.........It's like if I am friends with someone and something happens sexually, Then it does and life goes on and we remain close if not closer friends( but I still don't want to have someone led on in any way!), we are grown ups, we should be able to have a friendship that is "appreciated", NOT "expected in a way of taking it for granted or having high expectations that can't be fulfilled at the time or that aren't even in the cards for that matter | |
|
| if a close friend said this to you...how would you interpret it??
Posted: 7/20/2008 12:10:17 AM | I'm not sure what you're asking, as it sounds like she was pretty straight forward with you and spelled it out. My take on this is that you must demand of her a lot of things that she is either unwilling to do, or at the very least feels like you don't appreciate her doing them, but expect her to do them because you're friends. Different people have different expectations for their friends. And sounds like she feels you don't show your appreciation of the things she does for you, and perhaps she feels you demand more of her than she does of you. I bet if you were really honest with yourself, you know exactly what these things are. Do you want to tell us?
edited to add: I didn't see the second post. Male friend? That you've been physical with? Totally different story, lol. You gotta be more specific.
Simple. Just because you were physical, don't make any assumptions about where that's going to lead, or what that means for the friendship. It just happened. | |
|
| |
| |
| if a close friend said this to you...how would you interpret it??
Posted: 7/20/2008 2:06:44 AM | Kind of agree with Mikii - just ask him straight out.
My interpretation is that he's trying to let you down gently as to the possibilities of a deeper relationship, but he's up for a roll in the hay if you're happy it's on a no strings basis.
Hope I'm wrong! | |
|
| if a close friend said this to you...how would you interpret it??
Posted: 7/20/2008 2:21:26 AM | I am sorry to say it also...but I def agree with like what ct1351 said....he wants to be able to get physical..without expectations, or attatchments whatsoever. And pretty much come and go as he pleases...nevermind what you want. Even without the getting physical..he doesn't sound like a great friend really....altho as others have said..we are only seeing your side...and you may have been too clingy/demanding.
Either way..it doesn't seem like you two are on same wavelength :( | |
|
| |
| |
| if a close friend said this to you...how would you interpret it??
Posted: 7/20/2008 2:54:43 AM | I also agree with Mikeii and ct, OP. Talk to your friend, to shine some light on what he meant by his very vague hinting at whatever he was hinting at.
Either your friend is trying to let you down easily, or he may be regretting getting physical with you, since you are a friend, when he did not/does not intend to take things to the "romantic relationship" level. So, I think you should ask your friend for clarification. Depending on how you left things with your friend, and where you'd like them to go (i.e., can you accept a return to the pre-physical-involvement 'status-quo'?), you might begin by reassuring your friend that you appreciate his friendship and do not expect a romantic relationship unless you each develop mutual feelings of attraction, etc. This might go a long was to dispel whatever fear he may have that, now that you've been physical, you expect to become his gf.
Now, that said... if you in fact do not want to continue to get physical with someone who's willing to go there and yet NOT enter a romantic relationship, then say so. Draw a clear boundary on what you'll accept in the friendship going forward. Your friend has begun to hint at his own willingness to be an adult -- so give him the return favor: be direct and honest in your communication with him, and ask for direct and honest communication from him. Then, move forward to live within the boundaries that each of you have expressed to the other.
If your friend is sincere in his statement, he won't expect you to continue getting physical with him unless that is your desire, also. | |
|
| if a close friend said this to you...how would you interpret it??
Posted: 7/20/2008 2:59:40 AM | Its clear to me:
F*ck buddies - no more no less. It reads like a 'control manuel', do it my way or its no way? I shall read the whole thing now and see if I got it wrong.....
_______________________________________________________________
EDIT:
Yep thought so got it right! two choices now block and delete the idiot or continue to be his f*ck buddie on his terms | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| if a close friend said this to you...how would you interpret it??
Posted: 7/20/2008 7:35:24 AM | It means that there should be an ACCEPTANCE of this person regardless of their imperfectness...........we are never perfect.....man was not made to be perfect ..yet hi tech media interprets for us what it takes to be "in the loop" ....in the long run most people get caught up in this LOOP and had created designer fantasy mates..
No one can fill this space.....but they will allow a few to come into their lives and "interview" for it. Ho Hum their way through what this person has to offer and OOPS..it's time to go on to another "interview"....
It means......yes, I do appreciate your time and interest in me....Yes, I accept you and all your imperfections. Yes I will be your friend for a long ...long time..even if we do have some differences of opinions ....sometimes. | |
|
| if a close friend said this to you...how would you interpret it??
Posted: 7/20/2008 7:50:51 AM | | Your "friend" wants sex with no responsibilities or committment. He is warning you that you should not expect anything more from him. Sort of like putting up a sign that says "Date At Your Own Risk" so that he doesn't have to feel guilty if you get hurt. | |
|
| if a close friend said this to you...how would you interpret it??
Posted: 7/20/2008 8:34:47 AM | What a line. Oh my God, did he really expect you to just drop your drawers because you need a new 'freind' that badly? He wants you to 'accept' that he wants to have sex with you and nothing more EVER. Don't plan on romantic gestures, weekend getaways, meeting the family, being treated like a respectable desirable lady just a FB.
I would ask him if he screws all the people he calls friends. Might make for an intersting conversation.  | |
|
| |
| if a close friend said this to you...how would you interpret it??
Posted: 7/20/2008 9:02:16 AM | | just go with tha flow ....sounds like ur friend feels that ur expectations may be too high too quickly ....like ur pressuring them 4 more, faster than they feel comfortable with going and they are unsure if they ever want more with you.....be careful and don`t get urself a broken heart | |
|
| |
| if a close friend said this to you...how would you interpret it??
Posted: 7/20/2008 9:36:55 AM | Can I just say that I had to read this a couple of times, to think about what is being said here....seems to me that like most of the replies that youv'e already had are saying that its pretty straight forward....
1.Wants to have a relationship that is 'appreciated'..Ok on your terms or his?..
2.Not taking it for ' granted' or having high 'expectations'..Mmmm ,not to be taken seriously or not to expect anything...Oooooooops .. Commitment Phobia ..
3.Can't be fulfilled at the time..or that aren't even on the cards for that matter..Well,errr !! don't waste your time on me now or even in the future,...In other words , I've got no intention of sticking around .....  so move on..
Sorry, but if I was in your shoes I would give this person a miss.. 'HONESTLY '..otherwise you will not only end up broken hearted and may possibly find yourself with a control freak .... or worse feeling empty and used....  | |
|
| if a close friend said this to you...how would you interpret it??
Posted: 7/20/2008 9:45:57 AM |
yes its a male friend and we have been physical to a point
What does that mean? Hugs? Kisses. Masturbation or oral sex, but not intercourse? Have you been somewhat sexual, but now he's wanting to go all the way, yet telling you he doesn't actually want a relationship? | |
|
| if a close friend said this to you...how would you interpret it??
Posted: 7/20/2008 9:49:46 AM | Can I just say that I had to read this a couple of times, to think about what is being said here....seems to me that like most of the replies that youv'e already had are saying that its pretty straight forward....
1.Wants to have a relationship that is 'appreciated'..Ok on your terms or his?..
2.Not taking it for ' granted' or having high 'expectations'..Mmmm ,not to be taken seriously or not to expect anything...Oooooooops .. Commitment Phobia ..
3.Can't be fulfilled at the time..or that aren't even on the cards for that matter..Well,errr !! don't waste your time on me now or even in the future,...In other words , I've got no intention of sticking around ..... so move on..
Sorry, but if I was in her shoes tell your friend to give this person a miss.. ..HONESTLY .......otherwise she will not only end up broken hearted but may find her self with a control freak .... or worse feeling empty and used....  | |
|
| |
Home
login 
