| The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
Posted: 7/23/2008 4:47:00 PM | **The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
**They don't have to get up and go to work every morning ... you do.
**They are free to travel and just have fun ... you're tied to your work.
Should we consider dating someone who we are just going to tie down from doing all the things they dreamed of in retirement?
Do retired folks really consider dating people that (for whatever reason) are not able to retire at the expected retirement age?
I know there are any number of gentlemen that I would love to contact and get to know, but I have not done so because I know they are retired and their profiles go into great detail about what they are doing ... boating, traveling, taking leisure "spontaneous" trips here and there. I got a late start on my career and will have to work for quite some time.
I have written to a couple of men in the past ... not knowing they were retired like that ... and they told me that they were not interested in a lady who wasn't free to do what they were doing ... sigh.
So now I'm wondering ... do retired folks reject relationships with those of us who are not yet retired ... or may not be able to retire any time soon? | |
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| The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
Posted: 7/23/2008 5:31:24 PM | Cotter - if 2 people really love each other, then they will work their "golden" years out. I think "retirement" is constantly being re-defined by the baby boomers. More of us, may retire from that "Corporate America" job, but then turn around and start up our own business. My bottom line, is each person should be happy with their own lives, and if BOTH are happy with their individual lives, they have a greater chance for success in being happy as a couple.
I will probably work until my mid to late 60's. I can guarantee that I probably won't be doing the same job that I'm doing today. Actually, I'm working on my 2nd career, and that is Travel Writer. Currently, I'm a Tax Consultant, it's great for paying the bills, but I doubt if I'll be doing that in my late 60's. | |
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| The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
Posted: 7/23/2008 6:03:39 PM | "Do retired folks really consider dating people that (for whatever reason) are not able to retire at the expected retirement age"?
DEFINITELY! This one would/will!
"So now I'm wondering ... do retired folks reject relationships with those of us who are not yet retired ... or may not be able to retire any time soon"?
Again, this one WOULD NOT reject a relationship or a female based on what you present! This male does not look at the scenario of me being retired/her still working ANY different than the scenario of when I was still working/she was working. Several excellent points on this subject/idea, but I will only relate a few.
1. The ONLY difference in either scenario is/was as quoted by me: I/or he is retired. Why should that make EVERYTHING else a no-go? Why is that little bitty piece of information a HUGE dealbreaker? Why should that cancel out a prospective potential female dating arrangement/relationship/lifelong partner?
2. Two people worked and planned "around" two working/job schedules, much less those that had/have kids, extended family responsibilities, etc. But now, with one retired or potentially soon to retire, you can't work around or deal with that?
3. Which brings us to this point; why not use it to both of yours advantage? Such as, and these are just SUGGESTIONS, as I know many men will not want to do OR offer to do them (sorry guys) and some females it will freak out, but here goes: Female is working a full time schedule, so male fills in wherever possible to help the BOTH of them. They BOTH discuss plans/options, put in THEIR two cents worth, come to a decision TOGETHER, she goes to work, he makes all arrangements, gets tickets, fills out forms/papers if any to be done, runs all errands pertaining to, and assists in any way possible so that the goal is reached for the TWO of THEM.
4. I know guys, but here it is: male cleans house, runs errands, waters the flowers, feeds animals, preps car for the drive, pays the bills ( with both their incomes put together obviously), arranges for whomever/whatever to take care of animals/watch house/pickup newspaper/mail, etc., yes cooks for her or picks up take-out so when she arrives home from her long day can just relax and eat, talk together of the upcoming plans/vacation, be excited/happy/self-assured because everything is in place, has been taken care of. What is wrong with this picture? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!!!     | |
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| The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
Posted: 7/23/2008 8:23:03 PM |
I think I'd pose that question to the person I'm interested in ... Well, I have sort of done that.
I've seen profiles of gentlemen that have all that nice stuff in them and I have actually written to them and asked if they would ever consider dating a lady who would not necessarily be able to accompany them in all of their adventures.
Most do not respond, but those who have responded have made it very clear that they have no interest in dating someone who is not free to go with them and who is still "strapped to a job".
I have a lot of respect for their honesty ... no matter how depressing it can be ... sigh.
It has done one thing though ... it has opened my eyes to the idea of looking into dating younger men ... men who are also still working and won't be disappointed in me not being available to live the "retired life style".
It's not that I wouldn't want to live such a "life style" ... I just got a late start on my career (after being a stay at home mom for 22+ years) and did not have any opportunity to pay into some sort of great retirement plan the way most men did.
BTW ... it's not just men doing this. I have had conversations with men who are also finding ladies that reject them for the same thing ... they are financially independent and retired and really don't want to hook up with men who are still punching a time clock.
Sometimes I think I need to write a little blurb in my profile explaining that I'm going to be working for some time still ... looking for a man who is either still doing the same or who would be open to having a partner who is still "working". | |
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| The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
Posted: 7/23/2008 9:36:47 PM |
Do retired folks really consider dating people that (for whatever reason) are not able to retire at the expected retirement age?
Yes we do. LOL I was lucky enough to be able to retire at 55 with a decent pension, not everyone is that lucky. I refuse to reject men because of their occupation or that they have one. LOL
I actually feel a little sadden that you say some men are closing off opportunities for a potential relationship, simply cause the lady is still working. I think to do so, shows an inflexibility that might be hard to live with. | |
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| The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
Posted: 7/24/2008 8:26:42 AM |
I actually feel a little sadden that you say some men are closing off opportunities for a potential relationship, simply cause the lady is still working. I think to do so, shows an inflexibility that might be hard to live with. From the retirees' point of view, maybe the other person's employment inflexibility might be hard to live with. | |
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| The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
Posted: 7/24/2008 9:18:41 AM | | Its positively wonderful in many ways to go with a working woman once you are retired. Gives you lots of time to look into your own interests while she is off at the office slaving away. One way to look at things is if she was also retired, you would be spending all your time together, and that could get old pretty quickly. | |
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| The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
Posted: 7/24/2008 9:49:11 AM | I am with rearguard on this one as well.....
There are many women that enjoy the flexibility of a man that has the time and energy to do other things instead of just work.
Many of us have worked many years, changed careers, invested well, were lucky with career options, and can take or leave work as wanted. It is nice to spend some of that flex time with another, but it is also nice to have your alone time as well....
I am more than happy to date and/or have a significant other that works and helps support the life style that we are accustomed to, and enjoy my flex time and how it can benefit the both of us.
A problem can exist when one is jealous of the other and that flex time that is available, and maybe look to the other to help them be as free as they are. If one can not be happy for the other, or see the path to doing the same thing on your own, then you will have problems dating and being with each other.
Just my opinion......   | |
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| The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
Posted: 7/24/2008 11:57:13 AM |
I am more than happy to date and/or have a significant other that works and helps support the life style that we are accustomed to, and enjoy my flex time and how it can benefit the both of us. Ya ... I know if the situation were reversed that I'd have no problem being the supportive one. I did that for about 22 years, so that's nothing new to me.
A problem can exist when one is jealous of the other and that flex time that is available, and maybe look to the other to help them be as free as they are. For certain there is no room for jealousy. I personally like the idea of my guy being home and able to putz around as he wants ... no real time crunch on getting projects done.
I know I would love it if he did plan a weekend trip and all I had to do was walk in, get a shower, and jump into some leisure clothes, then head for the car. I know I could handle that just fine ...  | |
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| The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
Posted: 7/24/2008 12:17:58 PM | Sure......And we can take the "BMW Convertible" you paid for, and use your credit card, since I had the time to plan it and will drive.......
OT...........I am all for enjoying the life of leisure and the benefits of my hard work.......just need to find that special woman that can afford me and my leisure time as well.....hehehehehe.......  
Just my opinion........ | |
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| The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
Posted: 7/24/2008 1:17:36 PM | Being retired does not necessarily mean you are "free to do what you want". Remember, retirement means usually less income to do things with!
I retired after teaching for 30 years, worked about six years in HD dealers full-time, and have been out of work now for about two years. My dream is to make a complete cross-this-country bike trip, but finances won't allow it. When I was working either job, it was the time that wouldn't allow it! I'm always looking for another job that will still allow me to play music, and participate in my activities with the POW-MIA and Troops Support issues. These jobs are hard to find!
But I would definitely date someone who is still employed. Schedules can be worked around...it just takes a little planning. | |
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| The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
Posted: 7/24/2008 2:02:42 PM | No problem if she still works.
Less time for her to sit around comming up with "honey do lists"
And maybe... she could support me in the way I would most like to become accostomed.
There's all kinds of ways to look at it...
Maybe by my being already retired and her having an income sufficient to be self supporting we could put away a big nest egg for later mutual enjoyment... | |
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| The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
Posted: 7/24/2008 2:05:17 PM | | I think that is an individual decision. Some fellows will be happy to have a partner that still works and some will not. I believe the fellows that want only a retired person limits their options and misses some great women. Their loss but we all want what we want. I certainly would not pass up a fellow who's profile I liked because some other fellow said no to an e-mail. I have dated some lovely men who were retired. I am not retired and likely will work until I am at least 65 and perhaps part time after that. So the fellow that wants to be with me will have to take that into consideration. Also because I run a business I would have difficulty taking off more that two to three weeks at a time although I can do this two to three times a year. But consider this. Partners can have time apart and survive it. So if he wants to travel more or take a spontaneous trip he is free to do that. Think of the up sides. While you are at work he could be doing some household chores and cooking you a fabulous low cal healthy dinner. Or pursuing a hobby he has always been interested in and enthusiastically tell you about it over a glass of chilled wine while dinner cooks. You on the other hand continue to bring in a income and bring your interesting work home to share with him. To me that is a win-win situation. I believe if a man wants to be with you then nothing will deter him. So Go Girl. Send notes to those interesting retired fellows. If the guy says no do a read/delete and put your fishing pole back into the pond. | |
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| The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
Posted: 7/24/2008 5:05:46 PM | So I'm wondering.....do retired folks reject relationships with those of us who are not yet retired... or may not be able to retire any time soon?
Ideally, I 'm looking for a man who is retired or at least semi-reitred. I have been retired for almost 8 yrs. and with that comes freedom to come and go, without a timetable. I know myself well enough to know, that I wouldn't be totally happy waiting for a man to come home from work so that we could be together or go and do things together.
I figure that I've only got 20 good years left and I want to enjoy those years with a man, whom I love.
That certainly doesn't mean that we need to be "joined at the hip" or we can't have separate interests and apart-time. But to me, a relationship means spending most of our time together, doing things we enjoy. If two people don't desire to spend their time together in their relationship, why bother being in a relationship?
EDIT: I want to travel more extensively. Europe by rail or a Meditteranean Cruise anyone? | |
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| The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
Posted: 7/24/2008 5:06:35 PM | | This is purely an individual secision. I would not mind at all. I have my own activities to keep me busy, therefore having things to talk about over dinner other than my partners work. One question I would have would be - how much annual vacation time you get? Do you generally have to work holidays? I love trips to the Carib and Cent America. | |
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| The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
Posted: 7/24/2008 5:13:10 PM | ...It just might have its perks....hey, count me in.....I'm all for slaving away at the office while he's at my house cleaning, doing laundry, running errands, paying bills ( who's money would he be using again?)
I can just invision me coming home from work after a long hard day, him standing at the door just waiting for me to come through that door, glass of wine in hand...I can smell the aroma of steaks on the grill. Annother familair smell assaults my senses....furniture wax...I look around, the place is immaculate.......zzzzzz oh sorry, I must have dozed off
...maeflowers | |
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| The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
Posted: 7/24/2008 6:27:30 PM | No Mae.......It was just the maids day to clean while I went out to play golf..........
You know that the maid comes on Thursday's, and my golf days are Tuesday and Thursday, poker on Monday and Wednesday, and Friday I am out riding with the Harley crowd.........
Of course that glass of wine will be there when you get home, along with the Chinese food we ordered for delivery........
So hard to be retired and yet in charge while you work.....but oh those benefits....... ......for the both of us......
OT........Money makes the world go round, and if you have it, enjoy it......
Just my opinion...... | |
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| The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
Posted: 7/24/2008 6:41:10 PM |
Of course that glass of wine will be there when you get home, along with the Chinese food we ordered for delivery........
So hard to be retired and yet in charge while you work.....but oh those benefits....... ......for the both of us......
...Red or white with Chinese? Ah yes, retirement certainly does come with benefits doesn't it?
...maeflowers | |
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| The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
Posted: 7/24/2008 7:13:31 PM | ....What about "hot pink"....I can do that....unless of course you are truly talking about wine haha...hey, I even know some games we can play that have nothing to do with being retired,.....and I'm not talking about bocce ball...
...maeflowers | |
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