| Kissing a new girl for the first time...
Posted: 7/23/2008 5:19:18 PM | So I started dating this guy recently. No kiss on the first date, so I thought he'd make the move on the second date. Still no kiss. Just before we said goodnight I asked him out for a third date, so it had to have been obvious I'm interested in him and we've been hitting it off pretty well.
So what's the longest number of dates you guys have gone without having that first kiss with a girl? I think by date three there needs to be something, otherwise things aren't going as well as you think. Also, what's your opinion on the girl initiating something like this? I'm the type to just grab a guy and kiss him if I feel things are going well, but I wouldn't want to offend someone. | |
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| Kissing a new girl for the first time...
Posted: 7/23/2008 5:27:57 PM | | If he's still around after 2 dates , by all means , you try something . Do it ! Wasn't it Nietzsche who said , " Audacity is next to Greatness ! " | |
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| Kissing a new girl for the first time...
Posted: 7/23/2008 5:31:22 PM | I'm a first date kisser....
I don't push it, it just happens...
The few times I've felt compelled to be a "gentleman" and avoid kissing they've grabbed me and slapped one on me.... I didn't mind a bit... | |
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| Kissing a new girl for the first time...
Posted: 7/23/2008 5:34:05 PM | | I'm not a guy but I'd have to agree and say by the 3rd date something should happen.Have you considerd this guys believes? This is just a big guess but maybe he wants to wait a lot longer than most guys? Kissing can often lead to other things...Maybe he wants a lot more and/or he wants you to see that he really wants to get to know you 1st.Just something to consider.Good luck | |
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| Kissing a new girl for the first time...
Posted: 7/23/2008 5:38:41 PM | | dude should av kissed ya by date 3 !! is he into you ?? you did say you asked for date 3 maybe he is just slow or afraid too fuk up ! kiss him you should know forsure then !! | |
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| Kissing a new girl for the first time...
Posted: 7/23/2008 5:41:01 PM | It's pretty hard to offend a guy with a kiss, I would imagine.
If you think things are going well and you are pretty sure he's feeling it too, seek and destroy.
If he acts pretty distant, I would maintain a holding pattern until further notice. | |
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| Kissing a new girl for the first time...
Posted: 7/23/2008 5:42:24 PM | | What's there to loose? If you kiss him and he reject it, at least you know now that he is not ready or that he is not interest in you the same way. | |
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| Kissing a new girl for the first time...
Posted: 7/23/2008 5:42:26 PM | not all men are aggressive, most are, some aren't.
sometimes its good for a woman to take the lead, chivalry isn't dead.
chivalry just needs a jump start. | |
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| Kissing a new girl for the first time...
Posted: 7/23/2008 5:47:55 PM | | I've gone out with women who kissed me immediately the first time we met for coffee (favorites for sure), but I've also gone out with one woman twice where nothing happened (never heard from her again either and don't really want to). Different strokes for different folks. | |
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| Kissing a new girl for the first time...
Posted: 7/23/2008 6:00:05 PM | I went out with one girl when I was 20 that was so gorgeous that I was intimidated, thought she was going out with me just to be nice, this was the only time, other than my first kiss, that I had been that nervous. She finally made the move for the first kiss....she was also the first one to bring up sex months later...I know this is going to sound crazy...but, we ended up married...
So maybe you're just intimidating him?! | |
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| Kissing a new girl for the first time...
Posted: 7/23/2008 6:01:55 PM | | Well I know he's on the religious side, and I have some friends that are reaaaaally religious and they don't even hold hands until like a month. That's just crazy to me. And I don't expect to have sex with this guy anytime soon (I have morals too), but I want to kiss him. I just didn't want to offend him just in case he waits even for that. | |
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| Kissing a new girl for the first time...
Posted: 7/23/2008 6:11:32 PM | So people that have sex sonner than you might don't have morals because they don't buy into the same contrived institutions of man that you do? LOL.
Protracted courtship is unnatural let alone no longer conventional. It seems insitutionalized phobias have gotten the better of you let alone your beau.
At 21 if a guy hasn't given you a kiss on the third date what do we have, a trillion date rule now? Do what you want to do when you wnat to do it. | |
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| Kissing a new girl for the first time...
Posted: 7/23/2008 6:17:45 PM | I think your outlook on the situation is healthy. As long as there are no hygene issues ie. smokers, go for it.
In my younger years I would want to kiss on the first date, but now a days I don't see the big hurry. It could be because I have made some bad choices in my past and am more interested in who my partner is now. BUT... you can fly on down to where I base my plane at KLNA and we can talk about :)
or we can meet half way in Okeechobee :) :)
Paul | |
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| Kissing a new girl for the first time...
Posted: 7/23/2008 6:18:33 PM | If it's a real date, I will kiss on the first. one caveat: if the woman is one who prefers not to kiss on the first date on principal, I'll kiss her on the hand.
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| Kissing a new girl for the first time...
Posted: 7/23/2008 6:24:11 PM | I almost got the impression on one of my recent dates that the girl was mad that I didn't try to go for kissing and more like halfway into the date.
I don't know, a kiss at the end of the date if everything goes well isn't out of the question. But I'm a rather shy person so I might wait until the second, it just depends on how things go! I wouldn't say it means he's not into you, he may just be shy and not want to ruin things by making you feel rushed or something. Some guys are nervous, I am certainly nervous about pushing the boundaries too far on the first date, especially if I really like someone. If you really like him and you get that vibe too why not give him a kiss?
It can't hurt, but for some reason it seems that guys are always expected to make all of the first moves. That sucks for someone like me, but I'll just have to get over it and start being more assertive with those things if I feel it's going well.
Oh, that's great that you fly btw. I still haven't finished my license due to financial issues while in school. I love aerobatics though! I did them a good bit in high school with people I would get to know at the airfield and occasionally with an instructor. I've flown with Mike Goulian and I even flew with Nancy Lynn before she died. That was very depressing to hear about. She was probably the coolest pilot I ever flew with. We did quite a few lomcevaks after she showed me how to do them and we did a few torque rolls among other things, she loved to tumble that Extra 300L! Nobody else I've flown with has had that fondness for the tumble, I love them personally and they aren't difficult to do. | |
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| Kissing a new girl for the first time...
Posted: 7/23/2008 6:50:22 PM | | 6 dates no kiss from me, i was unsure about her motives, and they were never consistant, so and just taking her on dates, the 6th date was a complete disaster and learned the real her. i kiss a gal when i see good in her when taking her on a date | |
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| Kissing a new girl for the first time...
Posted: 7/23/2008 7:04:44 PM | Hey OP. I understand your confusion. Society has us trained on what to expect and he's not playing by those rules. If you want what you want and want to be classy about it then I suggest actually asking him if you can kiss him. What a turn on.
If he refuses then you know how he feels and if you still can't tell then ask him how he feels. If you can be aggressive enough to initiate physical contact than why not be aggressive enough to TALK.
Communication is key to any good relationship right? So, Communicate. | |
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| Kissing a new girl for the first time...
Posted: 7/23/2008 7:14:10 PM | If you like the guy just go for it and lay one on him! He could be nervous and not sure if you are into him. This would clear up all doubt for him.  | |
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| Kissing a new girl for the first time...
Posted: 7/23/2008 7:24:22 PM | I've never waited longer than 2 or 3 dates...unless I felt like she was very shy. Usually I don't end up with shy girls though. I like being more of the passive one. That being said I tend to attract more bold assertive girls...bold (initiating on her part) doesn't mean "bad". I am not religious in the traditional sense. Ummmm, if the girl initiated on the first or second date I would think she might be a bit slutty...or she might just want a FOB thing and not a relationship ....Either that or she might be feeling very turned on....which is good if I'm feeling the same way...that probably confused you more...hahaaaa
I guess what I'm saying is you might not want to grab him and lock your lips on him too soon unless he is totally spaced out (like on the sixth date maybe) and not clueing in at all. But you should try to get his lips into your lips region and beckon him to the lips area as much as possible when you get the chance. This way you're not forcing it on him but your clearing the runway (so to speak) for the jumbo jet to land. If he ends up being in your kissing vicinity a lot and it's been like the 5 or 6th date already and he's still not made a move ...i don't know...I don't have a reason why he wouldn't kiss you...unless he's not attracted to you ... Even a shy guy will take the cue if your face is right in his face enough by the 2nd or 3rd date.
So every chance you get, try and get your face near his face, but let him figure it out...I'm sure the old boy will catch on soon enough! | |
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| Kissing a new girl for the first time...
Posted: 7/23/2008 7:29:38 PM |
And I don't expect to have sex with this guy anytime soon (I have morals too), but I want to kiss him. I just didn't want to offend him just in case he waits even for that.
Pilotgirl,
Nothing wrong with making the first move, just don't try to stick your tongue down his throat.
My suggestion would be, at the end of the next date pull him to you and give him a peck on the LIPS. Then pull away slowly, only a couple inches, stare into his eyes and DON'T say a word.
If he doesn't get the hint and kiss you back, at that point, you might want to reevaluate your compatability.
good luck sweety! | |
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| Kissing a new girl for the first time...
Posted: 7/23/2008 7:57:07 PM | I have kissed a woman on the first date only a couple of times. I'll usually end a first date with just a kiss on the cheek or hug. Depends how the date goes.
Anyway some guys are a little shy (myself included) and sometimes it takes a little time before they're comfortable in making a move. You did exactly what you were supposed to do to SHOW him you're interested when you asked him on a third date. You're a rare woman and on behalf of all men here I want to congratulate you for going where many women fear to tread. Even women much older and more experienced than you.
If I might make some suggestions for your third date:
-Plan something where you can be physically close. Such as dancing...not at a noisy club but perhaps a nice resturaunt with live piano music. Or just a movie where you can sit close to each other and hold his hand. A walk through a park (one of my faves). Invite him to your place and make candle lit dinner and have couple of dvds rented for afterwards so you can cuddle up with him on the couch.
-Flirt with him. You don't have to be all over him but be close to him. Tease him. Laugh at his dumb jokes. Touch his arm. Touch his thigh. Fix those few strands of hair he has out of place.
-If he hasn't kissed you by the end of the night then look him straight in the eye with a slight grin. If he doesn't kiss you then.....by all means go for it!
-Not all women give the same signals.....have you been too subtle? | |
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| Kissing a new girl for the first time...
Posted: 7/23/2008 8:17:32 PM | | If you're having trouble getting the "making out" thing going, it's probably best to start kissing yourself, so the other person sees your cue. Plus, it gets them in the mood. | |
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| Kissing a new girl for the first time...
Posted: 7/23/2008 8:56:10 PM | | it depends on the kind of date, a casual lunch is not conducive to kissing as much as a night of dancing and touching and laughing together...but since you asked him for the third date I think you might want to take the lead in kissing him too...you might also want to ask yourself if he is the kind of guy that would be a good relationship for you, if you are okay with being the one to start things along... | |
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| Kissing a new girl for the first time...
Posted: 7/23/2008 9:09:51 PM | I was asked a few years ago to go on a 2 or 3 hour drive to church in another state with my religous neighbor. Of course my daughter also went. Yeah yeah such a long drive to church he doesnt go that far now. I loved the ride. After maybe 3 weeks of going to church with him and loving every minute of the ride i decided that he wasnt into me because he hadnt tried to kiss me or tried to hold my hand or anything. I really thought that if i kept going and he wasnt interested i was just going to get myself hurt so i stopped going. I later found otu that that is how religous men date. I can remeber him being so nice to me opening the door and differant things. I loved it. He walked beside me and introduced me to his friends. Yet didnt kiss em or try to hold my hands and yes he already knew that i was interested in him. I had made it clear before more then once. The thing is i was just so use to men trying things on me that if a man doesnt then i think he isnt interested.
As for the man you are dating. I would say you should reach for his hand sometime.. see how he reacts. Being he is a religous man... come right out and ask, " So would it be ok if i kissed you." He could just be a shy man or one that lets the woman lead. | |
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| Kissing a new girl for the first time...
Posted: 7/23/2008 9:42:11 PM | | I'd agree with the others here who said you should make a move! Just do it. What's the worst that could happen, sounds like he likes you. He's probably shy, this'll give him the hint, and even if his religious morals would have prevented him from kissing you out of respect I doubt he'd mind too much. | |
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