| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/23/2008 5:35:26 PM | I have been reading quite a few forums lately that discuss profile pics with cleavage and women who talk openly about sex. It seems that a lot of you have the opinion that if i show a little or a lot of cleavage and have open discussions with men about sex that I am considered to have weak morals.
WRONG
I am considered to be an intelligent, strong minded woman with dignity and do not allow others to treat me with anything less than respect. However, I am 41 and feeling great and I like to have fun. If a man seriously thinks that just because I love to flash a little cleavage and can have great and interesting conversations about ANYTHING that I would sleep with him, then he is mistaken. This is not a man that I would date!
Seriously where is the harm in two like minded adults flirting and talking openly! | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/23/2008 5:40:31 PM | To have some sexy pics don't make you to a slut- of course not!
And you are right, not all women of these are sluts, but you do chose pictures that should represent you, and of course there are differences between cleavage and cleavage..
I see a lot of womens' profiles on here that look like some kind of amateur playboy women....
And I really can't see how any man would see them as serious relationshipmaterial. | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/23/2008 5:56:32 PM | LOL-I don't give a rip what people think of my face, my cleavage or my open opinions on sexuality. Now, the few men who think because I like sex means I want sex with them are SILLY SILLY BOYS! I have a steady lover who keeps me quite content, but since he and I are not exclusive-if I chose to find some lovin elsewhere I have that option, but so does he.
And for those who are wondering or have inquired about my oral skills-yeah I do alright but inquiring about my skills doesn't mean I'm about to put a lip lock around YOUR C*CK!! Again, silly silly boys I enjoy my manfriends penis-he and I have become very close over the yrs and I'm not ready to find anyone new ...at the moment anyway..LOL!
Nah-I'm not a slut-I'm a well adjusted sexually active happy fat chick    | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/23/2008 5:59:04 PM | its your body. show it to who you want. I'd worry less about what other people think about you and more about what you think about you.
just my two cents, however.
(personally you will hear no objections from me. I am a big fan of lots of cleavage. women are beautiful. they should let it shine) | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/23/2008 6:03:52 PM | | You know who you are and what you do in life - who gives a rats as$ what others think or say! Ignore them and live your life as you choose - with head held high!! | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/23/2008 6:06:23 PM | Way I see it, I'm not under any obligation to divulge the details of my sex life or preferences to a bunch of strangers on an internet forum site. I take issue with being labeled as "closed-minded" because I don't care to engage in every sexual deviation known to mankind, nor share details of same.
Being sexually open certainly does not make you a slut any more than being private about your sex life and using judgment, discernment and just plain preference doesn't make you "uptight," either.
Personally, I don't care what anyone does in the confines of their own bedroom; I don't really care to hear the "gory details," though. Some things are better left private, and for a reason. To me, the whole fact it's "intimate" is one of the biggest turn ons about sex. JMHO. *Shrugs* | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/23/2008 6:06:46 PM | Good for you. If you're open about what you want and what you like you're a lot more likely to find a good match.
Besides, according to the UN Health Organization, there's 100 million orgasms occurring everyday. It would be kind of silly not to talk about it.  | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/23/2008 6:07:40 PM | | even if you decide to sleep with a different man each week, that does not make you a slut. what it makes you is a woman who loves sex and has no beef about where and how to get what she wants. | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/23/2008 6:20:03 PM | Well missbehaving ~
I can't speak for other men; but, some of the MAIN criteria I examine are the CHARACTER, ATTITUDE, INTELLIGENCE & IMAGINATION {along with, of course, her sense of humor} of the woman in order to discern whether or not she's "relationship material". The amount of cleavage she has or doesn't have will have, absolutely, NO BEARING on any decsion I would make.
What is fascinating to me is that when I, first, opened this "thread", there was a report that 3 out of 4 had voted to delete this thread. That, really, demonstrates something sad about those that voted "yes". Not only is this located in what is called a SEXUAL section ~ well, I, probably, shouldn't get started on this one. Folks may not have their STEEL-TOED BOOTIES on, right now; and, I don't, really, wanna trample their tootsies none too very much; so, I'll just leave that one alone. {wink}
Anyway, I can guarantee that THEY are not viewed {by **ME**} as "relationship material". {giggle} | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/23/2008 7:18:47 PM | Posted By: cupcakegirlmn on 7/23/2008 9:07:40 PM
Message: even if you decide to sleep with a different man each week, that does not make you a slut. what it makes you is a woman who loves sex and has no beef about where and how to get what she wants.
Maybe you're right; but, if you put that on your love resume, you might find yourself over qualified for a permanent position. Experience is a plus. The lack of interest in, or the inability to hold, a steady job is not.
As far as the word "Slut." What does that even mean anymore? Showing cleavage certainly isn't grounds for it's use; but, what is? Some seem to feel any behavior is acceptable and nobody has a right to judge. Maybe they're right. But we definitely have the right to discriminate when we make a selection for a mate. | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/23/2008 7:29:17 PM | I'm a slut.. an ethical slut, I guess (always been meaning to read that book)
If slut means I enjoy sex, have little or no hang-ups, and decide for myself whom I wish to share that with.. without giving a flying crap what anyone else thinks.. sure. If it means I have condoms in my purse (I don't, but I could) or have had a FWB in the past.. or many of the "other" scary things that a lot of people aren't comfortable with... then yes, sure... I'm a slut. If it means I've had more than a couple of partners.. okay, fine, I'm a slut. I'm 42 for pete's sake, I haven't been living under a rock, or in a convent.
I have my own code of morals, I don't mess with anyone who is involved with someone else, I don't cheat or misrepresent myself... safe, sane and consensual is my bottom line, the rest is on a situational basis and what is right for my partner and myself. As long as I am honouring myself and others I don't really care what other people or society at large thinks about it. I'm not very good with guilt or shame, they are concepts I find pretty much useless except as a warning that I may be crossing my own moral boundaries, and if my choices made me feel that way, I wouldn't choose them. Simple enough.
Doesn't mean I'll boink any male to happens to cross my path, though. That's not being a slut, that's being a person with serious self-esteem issues and a lack of good judgment.
I've read a few threads on "how many partners" and "should you tell" and such.. and actually I am appalled at the mindset of some people. For me it just tells me they are VERY insecure about sexuality (seems to frighten them somehow... like if someone REALLY likes sex or has a fair amount of experience they will end up OUT OF CONTROL and become promiscuous without discretion or will be unfaithful. Seems to me maybe it's an inner fear they have of letting go and really enjoying themselves. Do they feel out of control with their own desires? Makes me wonder) . Not saying that anyone needs to make the choices others do... it's all very personal, but what's right for one doesn't make it right for someone else.
I like to live by this, "Own your choices, and let others own theirs, don't judge unless you've EXPERIENCED it - cause if you haven't been in someone's shoes you have no clue what you are talking about"... and please stop with the derogatory names (like slut) and crap, it's boring and pretty much irrelevant these days.
Just my opinion.
peace | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/23/2008 7:38:44 PM | HERE HERE classy!!! Mkes me think of that sone "independant woman"
you'd think the term liberated had never occurred. a slut isnt an action is a kind of person. You can sleep with 3 people and be a slut, or you can sleep with 5 and still be classy about it.
Im an open person, doesnt bother me and im ont shy in the slightest, my sexuality is a part of me and i embrace it not run from it.
IT IS HOW YOU CARRY IT. | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/23/2008 7:50:07 PM | OP - I agree completely. Unless you want to be a slut. But I enjoy debates and discussions about human sexuality in general. I've had my fair share of experiences over the year, exploring different lifestyles and enjoying giving others advice or helping them out. If it means helping them have better sex and enjoying their relationships - then even better. Does that make me a slut? No...and I still get offended with every dirty message from dudes across the globe asking if they masterbate thinking of me, or telling me I need some of the "Rafsta" to quote a couple of emails...but if you like being a slut and dirty, nasty, kinky sex - that's okay too.
Talking about sex doesn't make you a slut. It makes you open minded and intelligent. | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/23/2008 8:27:42 PM | My grandma useto say only you have to wake up with yourself.
Just because you like sex doesn't mean anything else then YOU LIKE SEX.
I think a slut is a person that has to phuck as many people as they can with no discretion.
I like to talk about sex with people I know well, I like sex , but I only have sex with someone I'm close with. I was told that makes me a prude(yeah I'm trying to figure that out)
"Seriously where is the harm in two like minded adults flirting and talking openly!'
There should be no harm in that, but unfortunately a large part of the population still think sex should be keep behind closed doors.
"I take issue with being labeled as "closed-minded" because I don't care to engage in every sexual deviation known to mankind, nor share details of same."
That should be called privacy, not closed minded.
"I've read a few threads on "how many partners" and "should you tell" and such.. and actually I am appalled at the mindset of some people."
I look at that mindset as jealousy. not at the # you have slept with but the fact that you enjoy opening yourself up with another person in ways that too many people just don't understand.
Just because someone likes to do something different then the "Norm" that should not be looked at as anything other then free will.
I frimly belive that too many people need to get a life . | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/23/2008 8:39:31 PM |
Now, the few men who think because I like sex means I want sex with them are SILLY SILLY BOYS!
Guys who think like that get set straight pretty quick, I imagine. There's no point in worrying about people who'll jump to conclusions anyway... regardless of their gender.
For myself, I simply do not register anything remotely sex oriented in my profile. I find that if I'm open, even if only a little... that openness gets driven around the bend by people who can find fault with anything. | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/24/2008 6:39:59 PM | Good for you!!! 
Sexuality is just as much a part of building a relationship as anything else - and there sure as hell is nothing wrong with discussing it, or fluanting it (abit anyway) - if the other is like-minded.
And personally I think its bullshit for some women to be considered sluts becuase they can be open about their bodies and desires - heaven knows theres a zillion men out there like that, and nobody says boo to that! | |
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MikeAZ
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Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 22 | |
| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/24/2008 6:49:39 PM | | I don't think posting a provocative picture of yourself in a lowcut dress makes a woman a slut or anything like that, but do you get offended if say, a man looks down and checks out the goods? | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/27/2008 7:02:26 AM | "Seriously where is the harm in two like minded adults flirting and talking openly! "
Good point!
I think its about time that certain (not all) men and women get with the program. We are ALL adults and the difference in male or female have the same Needs, wants, desires, cravings, etc.....
Theres nothing wrong with flirting and/or being open about who you are and what it is you like sexually.
Why hide it? | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/27/2008 7:53:45 AM | | with all due respect bigadventure i disagree. i think that there is a standard for how "good" girls conduct themselves vs. how less scrupulous girls conduct themeselves. obviously i don't think that a woman should go around wearing all black and a bur'qa the way i do. this simply isn't appropriate for most women in our society, and understandably so. i do believe however that there are certain standards of decency that women should uphold. i'm not saying that every woman who sexualizes herself by flashing cleavage and being blatantly sexual with men is a wh@@e, but i definately think that it sends men a bad signal. even if she is not a wh@@e, this is one of those ,matters where if it walks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck........you know where i'm going with this. men looking to seetle down will not settle down most times with a woman who behaves this way. on the other hand, men who want a cheap roll in the sack and nothing more will target these kind of women. ladies get back what they send out. the femenist movement has taught women in this country that loose behavior is a way for women to empower and express themeselves and the tragic thing is that so many women have bought into this. girls don't need to behave like women of ill repute to get a man's attention, unless they're looking for the wrong kind of attention. bigadventure, you're better than this. | |
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