| Is pof the right pond?
Posted: 7/24/2008 8:32:51 AM | I've been on pof a while now and have put in effort over the months but so far things don't seem to be materializing. Although I've hoped, I don't think I really expected to meet a life partner on here. The surprising part has been how difficult it has been to have a conversation with someone on here about anything though.
I feel like a fish out of water on here. For every time I read something I can relate to and is encouraging, I read twice as much about women only getting approached for intimate encounters and guys just finding gold diggers. It makes me wonder why I'm spending so much time and effort in the pond of perverts and gold diggers.
So what's Your approach to PoF? What do you hope to find on PoF and what are your expectation? | |
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| Is pof the right pond?
Posted: 7/24/2008 8:40:09 AM | expect nothing and you will not be disappointed.
Look to make friends and you will find lots of good, real and amazing people here.
Not everyone is a wingnut or a golddigger, sure there are some manipulators, self serving people in here with their own agenda that differs from yours-but lots of good people just like yourself wondering the same thing, you just have to find them.
It is all a numbers game, you have to get a lot of No's before you find a yes. Just keep writing people and eventually your daytimer will start to fill with names and numbers.
do not take the rejection personally, they are only rejecting your offer, not you as a person, they don't even know you.
Attend a few local events, it fast tracks the whole thing and bypasses the message sending process too.
Hang in there, you will find your technique.
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| Is pof the right pond?
Posted: 7/24/2008 8:52:01 AM | ^^^She nailed it. There is nothing left to day other than to hang in there.
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| Is pof the right pond?
Posted: 7/24/2008 9:19:28 AM | The forums are an interesting and fun place to stir the pot :P I'm practicing "how to get a thread deleted" at the moment :P
POF is pretty much a waste of time if you're trying to meet someone to date. I've been on here 4 years and only ever met 2 gals (to be fair, there were large swaths of time when I ignored POF and it happily ignored me :P)
You'll get tons and tons of non-replies from people if you try to message them so prepare yourself for that.
There are MANY better ways to find people to have conversations with and get to know than here. I'm part of a social group I found on meetup.com and it is great!
But man, just enjoy and remember that you are choosing to subject yourself to this torture. If ya don't like it, surf away!
PS I'm not a pervert and have never encountered a gold digger so I'm not sure what you mean. :) | |
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| Is pof the right pond?
Posted: 7/24/2008 10:47:39 AM |
POF is pretty much a waste of time if you're trying to meet someone to date. I've been on here 4 years and only ever met 2 gals (to be fair, there were large swaths of time when I ignored POF and it happily ignored me :P)
You'll get tons and tons of non-replies from people if you try to message them so prepare yourself for that
Exactly, I have discovered that to be so very true over the years. Unless you look like Brad Pitt or have a VERY deep pocket you can pretty much forget meeting anyone here. | |
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| Is pof the right pond?
Posted: 7/24/2008 11:31:09 AM | I have never taken this site with anything less than a grain of salt and truth be told, I never expected anything from it and just thought that I would keep my profile up for awhile just in case. After several months, I decided to take it down and as I was in the process of doing so, I received a message from the girl who have I been dating for the last three months and I have never been happier.
So take from that what you will, but for me, it was when I was when I was know longer looking that I found exactly what I was looking for, and more for that matter.
Best of luck,
~Dani | |
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| Is pof the right pond?
Posted: 7/24/2008 12:06:21 PM | | Isnt expecting nothing from pof a vary good reason to not put any more effort into it? If a guy shouldn't expect a response, then why send a mail? | |
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| Is pof the right pond?
Posted: 7/24/2008 12:13:13 PM |
So what's Your approach to PoF? What do you hope to find on PoF and what are your expectation?
I think someone else already nailed it. You have to come in here and expect nothing. I see too many people come in and get upset because they couldn't find what they expected. The key is you have to be happy with your life as a single person and look at finding someone on here as a bonus, not a necessity. Thats the attitude I take, if something comes along I'm all for it. If it doesn't it doesn't, life will go on no matter what so I might as well make the most of it. | |
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| Is pof the right pond?
Posted: 7/24/2008 12:15:21 PM |
Isnt expecting nothing from pof a vary good reason to not put any more effort into it? If a guy shouldn't expect a response, then why send a mail?
Expecting nothing shouldn't amount to not sending mail. By all means send all the mail you want, talk to all the girls you want, just don't expect magical things to happen with each one of those emails or conversations. | |
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| Is pof the right pond?
Posted: 7/24/2008 12:26:36 PM | | Well, like most internet dating sites, POF is a terrible place to meet women, Because of the competition you have do deal with, the fact that most ofwhat you do to attract women in real life can't b done on the internet, and that most women on dating sites are either scammers, crazy, or attention whores. And POF seems to be the worst place for it. My suggestion, stop seriously looking on here, and look outside. | |
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| Is pof the right pond?
Posted: 7/24/2008 1:45:50 PM | | No expectations. Too much competition. Just continue to live a normal life, meet friends along the way. Have fun and don’t focus too much on dating. He/She will appear on your life when its meant to be. Good luck! | |
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| Is pof the right pond?
Posted: 7/24/2008 7:43:27 PM | I guess the other post have just about said it all, this site will give you plenty of everything you don't want, lol.
That being said, if you never send email, you'll never get any replies. Just think of this as cheap entertainment, or self abuse, not sure which, lmao...... | |
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| Is pof the right pond?
Posted: 7/24/2008 8:33:55 PM | POF is just like a pond if dating itself is more like whitewater rapids.
Don't worry that nothing's happened on here for ya. It hasn't here either, but then again, the preffered way women want to be approached is in person, and even then, you have to "know" when the right time is. | |
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| Is pof the right pond?
Posted: 7/24/2008 8:54:11 PM | OP, you really can expect nothing. Even when you approach women correctly, they will -- more often than not -- flay you alive. I don't understand what motivates such ferocious female hatred, but I've got the market cornered. All I have to do is send politely-worded emails and I get insults and diva attitudes. Sigh.
I'm convinced that POF is just a place for women to abuse men and get away with it. | |
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| Is pof the right pond?
Posted: 7/24/2008 9:00:52 PM | okay, maybe I'm one of the lucky ones, but I've had fabulous luck on here meeting people!! Heck, in the first three weeks alone I met 5 men, one of whom I really hit it off with... and almost all of whom I still talk to! And I haven't even really begun to 'fish' yet!! I've got a few that I've just started talking to that want to meet!!
I think its all what you make it. The earlier post said it all... if you're looking for friends, there are some REALLY great people on here, you just have to be a bit particular with what you're looking for, yet remain realistic!
I think part of the problem that I've seen is that people are looking for an ideal that just doesn't exist...or worse yet, looking for perfection. Heck, sometimes its the imperfections that make people teriffic. | |
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| Is pof the right pond?
Posted: 7/24/2008 10:23:33 PM |
I'm convinced that POF is just a place for women to abuse men and get away with it.
Hey, at least you get responses. Usually, they'll read mine and thats where the action stops. Pretty much all that says is they can't handle my actions. Okay, just kidding...
Most (not all) of the women on here are ultimately stuck-up. They're looking for the kinda guy that may or may not exist... no not big foot... Someone like who they see on TV - only because they look good, are famous, and have lots of money.
....... Life goes on. | |
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| Is pof the right pond?
Posted: 7/24/2008 11:38:43 PM | A lot of good advice here, send out emails, don't worry about not getting any responses, and if you get a response great, if not keep on trucking. Really, as they say, there is plenty of fish. And there isn't some special formula for getting responses.
When I meet with the women on this site, I often ask them what they liked about my profile and what they didn't like, it's perfectly fine to ask this. I won't go through all the things I've tested myself, but good spelling, punctuation and grammar goes a long way.
I'd have to say about 90% of the time, you have to make the first contact, this will get a woman to look at your profile. 3 key things are, your user name, your headline and your picture.
Try writing your profile as though it was the second thing a woman saw, and your email is the first. You'll see how you will write your profile differently.
I've met several women off here and I haven't found any gold diggers, and the woman I'm currently dating, I did send her an email, not a very nice one, so I thought, but it got us talking, and I especially didn't expect anything from it. | |
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| Is pof the right pond?
Posted: 7/25/2008 1:34:56 AM | | My clever POF approach is by being myself I make the other men look that much better, and eventually when enough of them get lucky and looking back realize it was my bad example that elevated their desirability, they will chip in and buy me a nooner with the proverbial golden hearted hooker, and she will lapse gratefully into a trance of resignation and stick with me for lack of ambition. I may be taking the long way around but I'll get there eventually. | |
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| Is pof the right pond?
Posted: 7/25/2008 3:30:01 AM | I've been on pof a while now and have put in effort over the months but so far things don't seem to be materializing. Although I've hoped, I don't think I really expected to meet a life partner on here. The surprising part has been how difficult it has been to have a conversation with someone on here about anything though.
For the love of gawd I can not begin to understand why so many are struggling here?
I love to talk and I love to write so maybe this medium is just perfect for me? I met tons of great ladies on here! I have lived in several states on POF and have met TONS of ladies in person and have friends on POF from all over. They will be friends for life! And.... have zero probs writing or conversing with them. Many I chat with every single day. We are GREAT friends. Do you also have probs like this in real life? Can you talk on the phone? Small talk meeting a gal at a bar come easy for you??
I guess I am just a people person and love to talk and have fun but... I make others feel comfortable and talking is very easy.... I really think this also says a lot about you and life in general. I didnt read your profile but I am making a hint here that you should take a hard look at it.
Look I am NOT CUTE but I have a lot of fun on here and have met a ton of people. Your approach has to be flawed somewhere. As I said... I am NOT CUTE and have a lot of contacts on here message me and I have actually met a lot of great gals???? So if your not getting any messages here and can't converse with the ones that do contact you then we need to work on WHY that is.
I just don't understand all the frustrated guys on here. Heck I rarely search on here or do opening contacts and just ANSWER messages ?????? Its 5:22 AM here in Texas and I have had three really neat gals (one I had talked to before) contact me between 3 AM and 5: 30 AM in the friggin morning??? We have exchanged like 15 messages already??? I can't even imagine what it would be like to be young and cute on here? OMG ! LOL
But I am funny and laugh and joke and messaging here is really not a struggle at all for me. I have no probs thinking about what to say.... Some gals just want to have fun and chit chat and some are really deep and want to really have conversations.... Uhhhhh... sorta like real life! Different gals want different things. Give them what they want. Just relax and have fun.
Its sad as writing has become a lost art... And unfortunately writing is the key to success on here. I can sit down and write a LONG reply thats a page long in minutes. Thats good advice for you! Many here want that. They dont want one line replies about how HOT they are. They want you to actually WRITE them. Sit down and spend time writing them a letter. You remember what letters are right? I am NOT being tacky or picking on you in any way! I want to help ya. This seems so easy for me and I hate to see others struggling. I just want to help.
Kindest Regards
Cowboy | |
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| Is pof the right pond?
Posted: 7/25/2008 3:39:54 AM | | You've got a negative profile, ever hear of the power of attraction whereas like attracts like? | |
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