| Could you be alone?
Posted: 7/25/2008 2:29:37 PM | A freind and I were talking about life after a boyfriend/husband and she said she would have no problem being alone for the rest of her life (except friends family) if her and her husband called it quit's.
I have been single myself for 2 years this past Wednesday and have not dated nor had sex nor even kissed a guy in all that time, Do I miss having a man in my life at times really I miss having some one to call in the middle of the night or having someone to care about. Could I say that I will never want a man Nope I do, but will i hold my breath until one comes along HELL no!!!!
The reason this topic came up is her sister moved out and left her husband 3 weeks ago and is seeing 3 guys now, how can you go from loving someone to dating others in 3 weeks, i heard a saying getting over a guy you need to be under a new one. Thats sucks its like LOVE doesnt matter it can be turned on and off on a whim.
So my fellow POFers Can you be alone? NO sex no love no kissing   | |
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| Could you be alone?
Posted: 7/25/2008 2:40:22 PM | Women seem to have the ability to be alone & like it much moreso than men. I personally detest being single and would rather not even think about how long its been already. I wake each day hoping its my last one alone, and if I were to learn I was to spend the rest of my life alone then please just shoot me now!!
I couldnt live without hugs & kisses. Brooks & Dunn say it all in their latest: "Til you put a girl in it, you aint got nothin" | |
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| Could you be alone?
Posted: 7/25/2008 2:42:37 PM | This thread is in no way a spam - and in point of fact heighlights the fact that possibly many people have had a bad time, and thatas in the particulat case pointed out on this thread , the woman has only just had a taste of 'freedom" so that her initial response may not last?
Not everyone is cut out to be married, not yet a parent - and yet married to be socially acceptable? | |
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| Could you be alone?
Posted: 7/25/2008 2:46:51 PM | What's your sister's phone number? We may want to be alone.
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| Could you be alone?
Posted: 7/25/2008 2:48:59 PM | well if i couldn't be alone that would make me pretty needy, wouldn't it?
i don't like needy people. they give me the heebie-jeebies | |
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| Could you be alone?
Posted: 7/25/2008 2:52:13 PM | By the time someone gets to the leaving point, often it's been over for much longer than those outside know. That was the case with me and my ex. The leaving part was after everything had been tried and didn't work and the love was gone.
As for the question, I would have no problem being alone for the rest of my life. I would like friends and lovers but living alone and not having a particular person in my life, yeah, I'd be ok with that. It's one of the reasons I am comfortable being picky. I'd rather be alone than be with the wrong person. | |
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| Could you be alone?
Posted: 7/25/2008 2:54:24 PM | Who would want to be alone other than someone obviously deeply hurt?
If your answer to this question is yes, the problem is you.
Unless of course it was just a declaration and display of independence "You go girl!" girlpower sharade.
No, I couldn't be alone, and I don't want to be alone. Life is too short to soak it all up by yourself and you miss out on everything love has to offer. The people who want to be alone are just bitter and havn't had felt enough of the good being with someone you love can really offer. | |
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| Could you be alone?
Posted: 7/25/2008 2:55:40 PM | | Yup. I'm pretty sure I could do it. After I'm not seeing anyone for a while, I tend to not miss it. I'm not the type of person who needs constant attention. I've gone longer than 2 years without dating before and I'm quite sure I could go longer with no problem. But then again, I have a child, work and hobbies, so I really don't have time to sit around and think about being lonely. | |
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| Could you be alone?
Posted: 7/25/2008 3:00:55 PM | | I hate to think of now until the end, that I would be alone. Yet, I'm better alone than in a "bad" relationship. Could I do it? I may have to -- who knows. It's not what I really want. But what I want for long term has so many conditions, that I think I may possibly end up alone. Everything from how slow it must go, how he must treat me ... | |
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| Could you be alone?
Posted: 7/25/2008 3:02:58 PM |
The people who want to be alone ...
mcapuano27 :
The question wasn't about wanting to be alone. The question was about the ability to be alone.
I don't think anyone truly wants to be alone, but that doesn't mean they can't. I've spent most of the last 10 years alone by choice, not necessity. | |
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| Could you be alone?
Posted: 7/25/2008 3:03:14 PM |
So my fellow POFers Can you be alone? NO sex no love no kissing
Sure ... but the real question is "Why would we want too?" | |
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| Could you be alone?
Posted: 7/25/2008 3:03:40 PM |
The people who want to be alone are just bitter and havn't had felt enough of the good being with someone you love can really offer.
i think making a statement like this would be akin to a "single and liking it" person, such as myself, saying "people who get married are clingy and can't take care of themselves"
just no need at all to judge someone's happiness in being single, any more than a single person should condemn those who are coupled
as i have posted on other threads, i am alone two years now and LOVE IT, and i am absolutely not bitter........and anyone who knew me "then" who knows me now sees that i am infinitely happier, healthier, and more positive than i ever was during my 17 year marriage
i realize the single life is not for everyone, but nor is married or "coupled"
life, and to suggest that people who are content being on their own as being "bitter because they don't have someone" is possibly one of the most judgmental things i've heard in a long time; and i would say that even if i wasn't one of the people in the group you are making that statement about | |
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| Could you be alone?
Posted: 7/25/2008 3:08:16 PM | | I hate being single, but I don't have a whole lot of choice in the matter. I am replying to the op of this thread and not to what the other posters has posted. | |
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| Could you be alone?
Posted: 7/25/2008 3:08:59 PM | I was referring to the idea that alone means with nobody else, not in a married vs single discussion.
You can be single and not be alone. I'm saying if the will to find somebody is not there, and you're fine and content with never finding someone ever again, the problem is with you. Hate to break it to you. | |
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| Could you be alone?
Posted: 7/25/2008 3:12:59 PM |
The reason this topic came up is her sister moved out and left her husband 3 weeks ago and is seeing 3 guys now, how can you go from loving someone to dating others in 3 weeks, i heard a saying getting over a guy you need to be under a new one.
I think there is a lot more to this then meets the eye and troubles been a brewing long before this happened. | |
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| Could you be alone?
Posted: 7/25/2008 3:13:36 PM | I love my alone time, but two years is a long time.
After the kids and I moved from the family home I waited about 3 months before I started going completely stir crazy. All my girlfriends were married and I didn't know one person who was my age and single. It had taken over a year prior that just to get my financial affairs settled with the Ex and the divorce papers were in the mail so I was ready to go out and meet people. For me 18 months is a long time to go without real companionship.
I would hate to think that I would be alone in my old age. But I am now beginning to make it a priority to foster friendships with other singles. Just give me access to good books and a wine cellar and I'll grow old happily! | |
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| Could you be alone?
Posted: 7/25/2008 3:13:52 PM | | No problem being alone. It's just kinda lonely. | |
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eazk
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Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 18 | |
| Could you be alone?
Posted: 7/25/2008 3:14:17 PM | I'm not sure why I would want to...therefore the "could you" part doesn't make sense in my head.
It's a natural part of life to meet and interact with people...isn't what you're really saying is "Could you not extend yourself to like-minded people?"...and I really don't like the answer to that. It feels empty and hollow not to embrace and encourage those increasing levels of communication...and yes, with the intent that some of them are for personal and interpersonal gratification.
Guess that's a long way of saying 'No'.
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| Could you be alone?
Posted: 7/25/2008 3:20:35 PM | Living alone, I enjoy it and have for many many years. Going without "special" friends as in lovers? NO way. I truly enjoy caring as well as sharing however I have yet to discover someone that fits 100%, that Is what it would take to at all be interested in living together.
They have their homes and I have mine. When I desire "company" as well as companionship we make plans, when they desire company, etc., the same holds true.
Going without providing love as well as actual physical sexual contact which of course includes; cuddling, kissing the romantics and intimacy? Personally there is no way would I be at all interested in that. | |
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| Could you be alone?
Posted: 7/25/2008 3:21:56 PM | mcapuano, what if i were to say "if your content with spending your life looking for someone to complete you, rather than living your life, the problem is with YOU"
you're suggesting that someone who is not currently seeking coupledom has a problem; that is no more accurate or fair than someone who is NOT looking suggesting that people who ARE have a problem
that is, simply, an ignorant statement.......hate to break it to you | |
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| Could you be alone?
Posted: 7/25/2008 3:24:30 PM | | Being alone is something that never crossed my mind in my 20's. I never thought I would be in this situation one day and can say that I absolutely despise it. However, being with an abusive man that would disrespect me would be a lot worse, that I know for certain. I certainly do hope to find my soulmate one day, as they say...hope dies last. | |
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| Could you be alone?
Posted: 7/25/2008 3:25:48 PM | Could I be alone?
Yes. I've done before, and I'm doin' it now. And I am doing just fine.
Do I want to be alone?
Now that's a completely different answer: No, not really. But then again, do I want to be in a relationship where I am not valued and cherished just as I am, and not what the other wants me to be? Nope. So until I can find someone who accepts, loves and cherish me, for me.....then I guess I'll just keep on keepin' on. | |
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| Could you be alone?
Posted: 7/25/2008 3:25:50 PM | | I have a question: do you assume that she is seeing the 3 guys beause she can't stand being alone? I think it sounds more like an "I'm free to do what I want!" behavior. Anyway, as I said before, alone is not what I want. But I guess I could. I do, in fact. | |
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| Could you be alone?
Posted: 7/25/2008 3:26:53 PM | hotglass I see what you're saying. I didn't take the question that way. It really is a loaded question. 
I would hope each of us has the -ability- to live life be alone, so in terms of taking the question that way my answer would be yes. I don't consider a mate or the will to find a mate a necessity to my survival. My sanity would probably take a hit after an extended period of time though.
I took the question as, "would you be okay with being alone for the rest of your life" and I feel that anybody who can answer that question with a yes has some serious issues with themselves that need to be looked at. Nobody should want to, or live life without atleast the will to find somebody else.
Hope that clears up any confusion! | |
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| Could you be alone?
Posted: 7/25/2008 3:32:04 PM | | been alone 4 years and liked it . sounds like your ready for more in your life now . has your balance in life inpoved? | |
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