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 edd_p
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 1
Single mothers advertising sex on their profilesPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Ok guys, help me out here please.
Each day, I think it’s fair to say that at least 10 single mothers join PoF in my local area alone. I have no problem with this at all. What I do find really off-putting however is when some of them blatantly advertise that they love sex on their profiles.
Again, if you love sex, no problem at all, but is it necessary to display it on the profile, the piece of text where some one gets their first impression of you? Not only is the person doing this likely to receive lots of inappropriate messages, but looking at their profile with the knowledge that they’re a single mum, that blatant advertisement screams to me that they’ve not learned anything.
Is it wrong to feel that way? One woman the other day I saw clamed she had 4 children and then went on to describe her perfect night of drinking, ending up with the guy back at hers for “a night you won’t forget”. Are people attracted by this? Have I made a mountain out of a mole hill? Certainly I’m not suggesting we restrict what people can put on their profiles and if I dated a single mum who enjoyed sex, I’d be fine with this. I just don’t think I’d date a single mum who said she enjoyed sex on their profile :) Actually come to think of it, what's this like as far as mens profiles go? I've not looked through the guys profiles on here but is this sort of thing stated on single dads profiles as well?
 maculon
Joined: 5/2/2008
Msg: 2
Single mothers advertising sex on their profiles
Posted: 7/30/2008 5:23:47 AM
Find something else to wonder about other than why people write certain things in their profile. Sounds like it may be you that has issues with women expressing their sexuality. Hit the shower, let it go brother.
 edd_p
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 3
Single mothers advertising sex on their profiles
Posted: 7/30/2008 5:49:46 AM
I have no problem with men or women expressing their sexuality, as long as they don't offend any one. My question was specifically about single mothers, because of what this implies. I'm not offended by what's written on some ones profile, was just curious to see how other people would react if they saw this.
 samiecat1
Joined: 4/27/2008
Msg: 4
Single mothers advertising sex on their profiles
Posted: 7/30/2008 5:53:25 AM
If a woman is posting their drunkin, sexual episodes on their profile....The kids are already well aware my dear.
 edd_p
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 5
Single mothers advertising sex on their profiles
Posted: 7/30/2008 6:04:12 AM
Agreed, the kids would know about these episodes, however it wasn't the kids I was thinking of. I was thinking of me, as a potential partner, how much that would put me off. I'd think ok, she already has children and no partner, now she wants more sex and might have some more? maybe with me, possibly as an accident? and at that point, because I don't know her and we've not talked, I'd leave quite hurridly. Now, if she and I were dating and she wanted lots of sex, we'd discussed it etc, were being careful, no problem. It's this first impression I was interested to get peoples opinions on, whether like me, they'd be put off.
 Cabhistory2003
Joined: 7/14/2008
Msg: 6
Single mothers advertising sex on their profiles
Posted: 7/30/2008 8:29:51 AM
All I have to say about this is that she is obviously trying to attract a certain type of man. We're all adults here (chronologically, anyway) and if there is a virgin among those on POF I'd be really surprised. So those who want this type of woman, there you go. Those who are interested in more than one night stands and partying know how to find like minded people.

As for me, if I saw this type of information on a man's profile I'd quickly say "next." I have to say that I at least appreciate the honesty on the profile because what is worse is when someone writes a glowing profile of themselves protraying them to be God fearing christians, lovable, loyal, easy going, etc. etc. and they are SO far from it that's it's almost comical. I've had one experience in particular where the man had not only blatantly lied about himself in his profile but had some serious anger management issues as well.

The same goes for those individuals who list "other relationship" as what they want. While we might find that repulsive, again I have to say at least they are upfront about what they are looking for.

If you want some drunken, party slut then this woman's your ticket. If not, keep looking there are good ones out there. As my grandmother would say, there's a lid for every pot and you just have to find your "lid."
 qt_tibbs
Joined: 2/20/2005
Msg: 7
Single mothers advertising sex on their profiles
Posted: 7/30/2008 8:40:27 AM
All I'm really gonna say about this is.....

To each their own!!

Everyone is different on here. If this is how these "single moms" are with their profiles that's how they are.
All you have to do is keep clicking to the next profile. Your kind of judging a book by it's cover.
But NOT all single moms are like this!! I am a single mother & damb proud of my children.... NO I don't advertise wanting sex on here but, I would hate to be put in a sterio-type like that.
And all of us parents weither be a father or a mother... we have our children because we wanted our children. Yes some people do have children for the "wrong" reasons but, some of us.... for all the right reasons!!!!!!

As for the signle m0ms or dads (seen them too) that say they love sex in their profile etc; .... it's their choice on what they allow their children to see & hear. And if their into that sort of life I do feel sorry for their kids.... but that's what social services & the C.A.S. are for.

But again.... To each their own!!!!!

Just a FYI....

If someone on here has kids already... they DO like sex!!! Cause the last time I checked or remember.... that's what happened right before the doctor told me..... Your pregnant!!! LOL
 stillclock
Joined: 1/1/2008
Msg: 8
Single mothers advertising sex on their profiles
Posted: 7/30/2008 9:17:27 AM
i'm starting to see a trend in thinking about motherhood. this is probably old news, but i might be a bit slow.

there seems to be a set of preconceptions about mothers. their morals are purer, they need to be more chaste, they are more responsible, more feminine and more virtuous than other women.

here's a news flash.

mothers are women just like all others. and women are people, just like all others.

the successful completion of a reproductive cycle doesn't transform a woman into a great housekeeper with exceptionally christian virtues and the morality of st. theresa herself. it doesn't automatically eliminate human desires (sexual, deviant and otherwise), it doesn't cure the proclivity for vice(s) and it doesn't create a loving, independent, emotionally mature woman in an instant.

shocking, i know.

a
 funnygirll
Joined: 5/10/2006
Msg: 9
Single mothers advertising sex on their profiles
Posted: 7/30/2008 9:29:50 AM

was thinking of me, as a potential partner, how much that would put me off
and you are entitled to feel this way, "put off" by someone's openness and honesty, and I would be/am put off by this type of openness and honesty as well.
I guess we KNOW that everyone wants to have a sexual partner but why post it on your profile like that????? But I think it goes for everyone, and not just single moms.


there seems to be a set of preconceptions about mothers. their morals are purer, they need to be more chaste, they are more responsible, more feminine and more virtuous than other women.
right, I think this is what is happening here. you are bothered (as am I and many others) to realize that the latter is not true, and that they are just as horny and sexual as the next person.

another thing, you may be assuming that because these women state that they enjoy sex so much, it's what's gotten them in trouble before and are therefore assuming that she got pregnant by some random man she had sex with and ended up a single mom because she probably didn't know the guy's name or due to the way they 'met' she was not Marriage material....Not necessarily true.

it's hard to change these types of attitutes about how women should behave, even for women it's hard to accept that it's okay for women to be just as sexual and just as open about their enjoyment of sex as men are.... the world has changed a lot but maybe not enough just yet.

Just my few cents.
 edd_p
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 11
Single mothers advertising sex on their profiles
Posted: 7/30/2008 10:25:11 AM
Yes, I agree every one is different and of course as I've said before, no one should be restricted as to what they write on their profiles. I also do agree that since this bothers me, I should move on to the next profile which invariably I do unless the profile is extremely interesting and well written in other ways.
As for mothers being moral and so forth, I have no elusions, we're all human after all and are prone to mistakes. I don't think mothers should be classified this way. I think though that people, myself included may jump to the conclusion that they have become pregnant because of their general irrisponsibility and love of sex. Perhaps this is prejudging, however if they put something similar to the quote above on their profile, this is all any one has to go on. Again, as I've stated, I have no problems with single parents, either men or women being as horny if not more so than the next person. I think what I was driving at is that it would be nice to find this out when you meet or get talking to them not plastered on their home page. Perhaps I am also bias as I come from a town that did until recently have the largest population of teen pregnancies in Europe :)
Anyway, thanks for the input, was interesting getting peoples views.
 TodaysCatch
Joined: 4/12/2008
Msg: 12
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Single mothers advertising sex on their profiles
Posted: 7/30/2008 10:57:48 AM

the successful completion of a reproductive cycle doesn't transform a woman into a great housekeeper with exceptionally christian virtues and the morality of st. theresa herself. it doesn't automatically eliminate human desires (sexual, deviant and otherwise), it doesn't cure the proclivity for vice(s) and it doesn't create a loving, independent, emotionally mature woman in an instant.


Very well said, and so true. My mother told us repeatedly that having kids was our dad's idea, and that she wished she hadn't had us! There's a loving mother for you.

OP, I do see what you're trying to express here. But as has been said, these are modern times, and the women that directly express their desires in their profiles most likely are the unwitting spokeswomen for countless others that still feel it's untoward to do so.
 Aries0328
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 13
Single mothers advertising sex on their profiles
Posted: 7/30/2008 2:37:32 PM

I think it’s fair to say that at least 10 single mothers join PoF in my local area alone


Really? 10 new a day? And they advertise sex???? Can someone from the POF marketing department please do for my part of the world that your doing for his.... Please....
 5150PDvolgirl
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 14
Single mothers advertising sex on their profiles
Posted: 7/30/2008 2:41:33 PM
OP,
Not condoning the liking sex in profiles, however, as one would look at your profile, you proudly display you like to go to the bars and get drunk. mmmmm maybe some women are put off by seeing a profile of a man in their area who is a drunk?
 5150PDvolgirl
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 15
Single mothers advertising sex on their profiles
Posted: 7/30/2008 2:44:38 PM
Who doesnt like sex? We all have our needs, some, just display the rather obvious in their profiles. So what? You keep saying this doesnt bother you, but obviously it does if youve posed it towards pof.
Everyone is different, like me, I care not to date someone who likes to go to the bar and get drunk.............
Single mothers are women and people too, and, we werent *always* mothers.
 Strongdad
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 16
Single mothers advertising sex on their profiles
Posted: 7/30/2008 3:25:19 PM
LOL. What category is the OP looking in?? I don't think I've come across that many profiles looking for sex. However, upon dating some POF ladies, I have noticed that some can be rather eager. (I'm trying to put it nicely).

Having been out of the dating circuit for over a decade, I came back to it only to realize that the climate had changed, and I didn't get the memo. Women are much more sexually assertive (or aggressive at times) than they used to be. Be that as it may, no one is forcing you to sleep with these women.

SD
 edd_p
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 17
Single mothers advertising sex on their profiles
Posted: 7/31/2008 2:09:53 PM
Blimy, LOL I leave it for a day and see what happens.
Ok, firstly, about me displaying that I like to go to bars and get drunk: erm..have you actually read my profile? it quite clearly states that you will not find me in a bar getting drunk of an evening.
secondly, at least 10 single mothers do join in my local area per day, though I don'tbelieve I said that those particular mothers were looking for sex. It was more that a lot were joining.
Thirdly, as for what catagory i'm looking under, I have nothing special I look for, I just browse the new users section and come across profiles like that. I'm not saying it's a lot, I'm saying they exist and was wondering what people thought. Most of the answers here have been constructive but please, read before you reply :)
 Durken
Joined: 5/8/2008
Msg: 18
Single mothers advertising sex on their profiles
Posted: 7/31/2008 2:23:05 PM
A man complaining of a sexy woman advertising they love sex... I thought that's what we're all on here to see
 desertrhino
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 19
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Single mothers advertising sex on their profiles
Posted: 7/31/2008 4:13:40 PM
That's funny, because I just looked at 30-40 profiles of women in your area, and I didn't see a single one advertising hot sex, or sex of any sort. One wanted hugs, and another couple liked cuddling.

It's all horsesh!t anyway... anyone healthy enjoys good sex. To be honest about that is bad HOW, exactly?
 morethanyouthink
Joined: 7/20/2008
Msg: 20
Single mothers advertising sex on their profiles
Posted: 7/31/2008 5:58:51 PM
I have no problem with them advertising that it is much more respectable than the one who claims she wants a long term relationsahip and leans over the middle console as you are on the way to dinner on your first date....at least they are honest....what i would have an issue with is them saying come back to thier house and the kids are at home..that is inexcusable and is setting a bad example..not to mention not safe but hey thats just my 2 cents
 Pierced_Chick
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 21
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Single mothers advertising sex on their profiles
Posted: 7/31/2008 8:46:07 PM
This is off topic but i couldnt find a thread about it and its not letting me post a new thread, but my question is this (just out of wondering) how many of yall have an 2yr old who does not go to sleep sometimes until, about 11:30pm at night?

(MOMS OR DADS/NON PARENTS CAN ANSWER)....Because i know some people who may not be parents but that doesn't mean they have not been around, children and do not know a thing or two about children.
 Henry L. Moon
Joined: 6/1/2008
Msg: 22
Single mothers advertising sex on their profiles
Posted: 8/1/2008 7:00:00 AM
Edd P you have wisdom beyond your years! I've only read a lot in the single parents part and looked at profiles, and what gets posted in these forums vs. what the lady wrote in her profile just makes my jaw hang open and my head shake back and forth just like the little yellow head Yahoo icon!! Sometimes I have to reread her profile text and what she wrote in these forums, several times, because it is so shocking. See, I'm a father, so a woman that is a mother is a huge turn on...however, I have found that there is a HUGE difference between a woman that is a mother, and some barslut that got knocked up after a night of partying and now hates the **stard that did this to her ( it interferes with her being at the bar and gettin' laid ) Yeah guys if you're looking for some easy scores...check out single parents....hell, all you need to do with most of the women that post in this catagory is to agree with whatever tripe they post, and especially what they write about their exs....They aint a'hidin' it either!
 paul-34
Joined: 2/7/2006
Msg: 23
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Single mothers advertising sex on their profiles
Posted: 8/1/2008 11:18:15 PM
how do you think they ended up with kids?! If you go to meet em don't forget your condom :)
 MzSomebody
Joined: 5/13/2008
Msg: 24
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Single mothers advertising sex on their profiles
Posted: 8/2/2008 12:28:25 AM
YOU ARE SO DISGUSTINGLY UGLY BE HAPPY ANYONE WOULD WANT U....OK?
 Kath111
Joined: 3/27/2008
Msg: 25
Single mothers advertising sex on their profiles
Posted: 8/2/2008 12:23:29 PM
I agree OP obviously any single mother daring to try out a dating site should actually cover herself head to toe in sheets,disguise any hint of a personality and just sit and wait for the odd pity message and be grateful for what she recieves

First and foremost we are humans the same as anybody else .

Even single mothers have feelings,and some of them sexual
 wickedkyra
Joined: 12/1/2006
Msg: 26
Single mothers advertising sex on their profiles
Posted: 8/2/2008 12:37:59 PM
We all have things we wish we didn't see on other people's profiles. Personally, unless you're Vin Deisel, I don't want to see you shirtless on your profile. Just turns me off, single father or otherwise.

Any woman advertising sex on her profile probably has low self esteem and thinks the only way she can "get a man" is by offering to give it up right off the bat. If I were a man, I would thank my lucky stars she put up that red flag so I could steer clear.

There are red flags in men's profiles, too, that I keep an eye out for an avoid (words like "entrepreneur " and rants about ex-girlfriends, for example) and I'm glad they're in there. It lets me know they're not for me.

As for single mom's "not learning their lesson" - my child isn't a lesson, he's a blessing, and just because I'm a single mom, I should never have sex again? Sorry, if them's the rules, I'm not playing. I may not advertise it but I like fooling around as much as the next girl. I'm more particular about WHO, but I'm not giving up the luvins as "punishment" for being a single mom.

Not sure if that's what you were implying, but that's kind of how it reads.
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