| Is it just me, or is getting married and having children the most pointless thing in the universe?
Posted: 6/10/2005 11:19:16 PM | I don't understand why people want kids. To me it seems like a waste of your life. You have to spend all that time raising them and for what? Such a waste of time and money. Wouldn't you rather just live your own life? Wouldn't you rather be free to do whatever you want?
On that note, why would anyone get married? Why would you want to be around the same person that much. It's pointless! Half of all marriages fail, and that's just the ones who actually get divorced... there are countless others who stay married, but their marriages are absolutely miserable.
To me, marriage and children seems like a rather long and painful way to commit suicide. Thank God I am me, and not everyone else in the world. So many people are blinded by societal values, "the ultimate goal in life is to find true love", it is expected that you will get married and have children. **** that!! I won't throw my life away. Don't throw yours away either. | |
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Darma
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Joined: 5/16/2005
Msg: 2 | |
| Is it just me, or is getting married and having children the most pointless thing in the universe?
Posted: 6/10/2005 11:21:58 PM | Having children whether you planned it or not becomes a life long committment that for most is accepted without question. It is what it is.
As for marriage, my only advice is that you be d*mn sure it is with the right person or else no whining and complaining , it was your own choice and your own d*mn fault.
Don't hate on people who have children whether they planned for them or not, just be glad you are clear on your decision for not wanting any. | |
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Darma
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Joined: 5/16/2005
Msg: 5 | |
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| Is it just me, or is getting married and having children the most pointless thing in the universe?
Posted: 6/10/2005 11:38:28 PM | | I agree with you partially I guess. In alot of ways marriage is pointless when you look at it. Id say more than 75% of the ppl I know (me being only 20) have their parents divorced or dont believe in marriage really either. I just look at it is you can love someone and live with them and enjoy life together without marriage. But the kid thing, I deffinately dont understand how you couldnt want kids. Ya its a hastle at times Im sure to raise them and take care of them. But its an experience and a major part of life, I think life would be boring without being able to experience having a kid and being a father. You can only date around and party so long, eventually people around you are gonna have familys and not have time, and I think thats gonna make a lonely time for yourself. | |
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| Is it just me, or is getting married and having children the most pointless thing in the universe?
Posted: 6/10/2005 11:50:09 PM | As far as not wanting kids. knew from the time I was little I didnt want kids.
Cant tell you how or why, I just knew... and I didnt and really have no regrets.
I recall when I was about 8 making that choice and never waived in it. For me
it just wasnt an option... some women just have no maternal instinct for them maybe ...???...
but I do like animals, mostly dogs. Im a mommy to my dog and thats about all I want when it comes to being a mommy.
About marriage... I think its good only I wouldnt marry unless I was sure... like 300% sure. Not going to marry for some stupid reason. If the right one comes along, thats nice and if not thats ok too. The relationship and what is between two people mean more to me than the legality of it.
We each have our own choices to make. Be sure if you want kids you are ready to raise them on your own, as many relationships fail and raising children cannot be "divorced". Its better to not have any if you arent sure. Be sure to get birth control or be fixed if your sure.
The ulitimate goal in life is not to find 'true love' with another... you will not die if you never find it. It is far more important to be happy with yourself and not leave your worth up to another to make for you. My true love is "learning"..... and "creativity"..... those are things I would emotionally die without. Its nice to find someone but there is hard work and many painful, hard things that are involved in relationships of love and romance. Hopefully when you decide to love someone its someone who feels the same. Take time to know and love yourself before you go looking for love from another...
dont marry or have kids for the wrong reasons as many do... | |
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| Is it just me, or is getting married and having children the most pointless thing in the universe?
Posted: 6/11/2005 12:07:42 AM | I know one day I am going to have kids. I understand everything you are saying completely but have you considered that some day you are going to want more out of your life? Having kids is one way to get more out of life. In other words, one can enjoy being single and then there is a progression where the next logical step would be to settle down and pop out a couple babies.
Being single myself and almost 30 this coming August, the time is coming where in the next ten years or so I will be staking out my little patch under the tree. | |
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| Is it just me, or is getting married and having children the most pointless thing in the universe?
Posted: 6/11/2005 12:12:30 AM | Yes it is just you! Gee, why take the long painful way to commit suicide....just go ahead and do it now.
I wonder what a future serial killer's profile looks like. Looking for a date are you....I kind of think this thread may have ruined those chances.
Ok, that was just mean but had to get it out of my system...back to reality now.
Your lack of hope, dreams and basically any other human emotion or desire suggests there is way more going on in your life than your fear of throwing your life away by getting married and having children....not all that unusual for a person of 24 i guess but you seriously need to confront this head on before you drown in your sorrow.
May be hard for you to see through your fog, but there is a bright side....hope you find it although it seems you aren't looking. | |
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| Is it just me, or is getting married and having children the most pointless thing in the universe?
Posted: 6/11/2005 12:19:28 AM | I always wanted to be a mother. While I never found a logical reason in the universal scheme of things.
A part of me feels it is selfish in this over populated world. But my excuse is I am ruled by my animal nature.
Perhaps it is because I needed the personal growth it would bring?
Because I am loving motherhood so much.
Maybe I was a good candidate to bring a certain soul back to the earthly plane. I don't know.
I have a kind, brilliant child, who is just a royal hyper pain in the a*** at times. But just having such an important mission is very stimulating and calming for my hyper brain.
It is just so miraculous to be able to love so much or get so much love.
As far as long term husband type commitment, I wasn't ever so concerned. (I am a one man woman though) until these last two years. After having a love affair, I realised I wanted one man to build memories with, to be my best friend, for a long time, hopefully growing together for the rest of my life.
Maybe it will happen? Maybe not (I am picky). But I have always enjoyed being single as well. | |
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| Is it just me, or is getting married and having children the most pointless thing in the universe?
Posted: 6/11/2005 12:28:54 AM | Actually, it is not just you.
I got married young, had three kids by the time I was 22....if I could do it all over, no kids...or at least not til I was at least 28. And certainly not with the guy I had em with. It does take up a major chunk of your life.....I wish now I had taken some time to get to know me instead of thinking of what he wanted more than what I wanted. Don't get me wrong here, I love my kids...and the grandkids are even more fun. But I feel as tho I lost a big part of who I was by not being able to concentrate on me for all those years. And now I have to make up for it......
Squeak | |
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| Is it just me, or is getting married and having children the most pointless thing in the universe?
Posted: 6/11/2005 12:34:13 AM |
I don't understand why people want kids. To me it seems like a waste of your life. You have to spend all that time raising them and for what? Such a waste of time and money. Wouldn't you rather just live your own life? Wouldn't you rather be free to do whatever you want?
I will not argue with someone who feels as you do. Obvously parenthood is not the choice for you.
And even for those who cannot imagine having taken another path, parenthood is not unalloyed joy. But there are joys, many of them, and they are like nothing else in this world. | |
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| Is it just me, or is getting married and having children the most pointless thing in the universe?
Posted: 6/11/2005 4:08:24 AM |
Looking for a date are you....I kind of think this thread may have ruined those chances.
We'll see about that ^_^ I have put up my official profile, so before you go thinking that my post here will destroy my chances, read the profile and get a better understanding of why I am here. The profile sure as hell isn't something you'll see very often on a dating site. My favourite quote from my profile is
"My hobbies include spending time alone and thinking about death." | |
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| Is it just me, or is getting married and having children the most pointless thing in the universe?
Posted: 6/11/2005 4:23:23 AM | "My hobbies include spending time alone and thinking about death."
Have you ever seen the movie "Harold and Maude"? You should...some of the funniest fake suicides in there.
I have 2 kids (NOT planned) and have never been married. I think the point of having kids is so you APPRECIATE being alone 18 years later (ha ha). The anticipation of that (9 more years to go!) is a thrill...I have sooo many kid-free plans made.
Marriage...I'm gonna wait till I'm about 60 before I seriously consider being married...that way "till death do us part" isn't gonna last that long. LMAO  | |
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| Is it just me, or is getting married and having children the most pointless thing in the universe?
Posted: 6/11/2005 4:43:30 AM | | Marriage in the Western countries is not taken as serious as "back in the day." When you got married "back in the day" you stay married regardless and you worked it out. I believe that these days people do not take marriage seriously at all or simply are just not prepared for it. For example, they have a few arguments and than right away: divorce! It's like come on people, you're married, show some respect for the marriage, work it out. Now, if the person commits adultery or out of the blue decides that he does not prefer the opposite sex anymore there's nothing that can be done. Besides having relations with your partner, I believe marriage is one of the ultimate acts of love and committment BUT you have to be ready to make sacrifices, compromises and many challenges. | |
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| Is it just me, or is getting married and having children the most pointless thing in the universe?
Posted: 6/11/2005 7:02:33 AM | Getting married is a waste of time if both parties haven't agreed to take their vows seriously.
So many people look at marriage as a civil contract to be broken by divorce when either or both parties becomes unhappy.
Marriage was meant to be a commitment between two people to share their lives together, for better, for worse, in sickness and in health... til death do we part. In our present society, it probably is pointless.
As for kids, I'd like to think it's better for a married couple, or at least a committed couple to have them. Too many kids grow up in one parent households, or end up being raised by grandparents, aunts and uncles. Kids deserve to have a mother and a father. | |
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