| Unique Dating Misunderstandings
Posted: 8/2/2008 9:18:21 AM | I had been casually dating a nice man who stopped calling out of the blue. Jack was a very busy owner of a hot spot so it was logical that he didn’t have a lot of free time. Everything hadn’t been just perfect, but he appeared to really like me and I was surprised when his calls stopped. A few days passed and I called to check on him. When he didn’t answer I left the voice mail, “Hi there, this is Leslie….just checking to see if you’re still alive!” He didn’t return my call and that seemed like closure to me. I assumed he lost interest or found someone new. I moved on and started seeing someone else.
I heard from Jack 21 days later, when he woke from a coma that followed a car wreck.
Jack has recovered nicely. He married recently and we’re still friends. He still enjoys joking about dating me and asks, “How come you didn’t like me?” My reply is always the same, “Jack, you were in a COMA!”
There are many “He found someone else and he done me wrong” stories out there, but what about the unique and one of a kind tales of why someone had to stop dating? Or dating misunderstandings in general? | |
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| Unique Dating Misunderstandings
Posted: 8/2/2008 9:26:28 AM | I had a doosie once...
I normally won't try to date anyone under 30 anymore, but about a year ago I decided to make an exception. I met this really cute 28 year old gal online, and after talking on the phone a while, made a date with her for one Friday night. It was her very first internet date.
We planned to meet around the corner at this Mexican restaurant. I showed up early, got on the waiting list, and got a table. She showed up late, and then called my cell to ask where I was. I told her I had gotten us a table and was sitting at it in the back right hand corner of the restaurant.
I watcher her out the window as she was coming in, and she was just smokin' hot, and I started to get really excited about meeting her. Well, she came in the door, got half way through the crowded restaurant, took one look at me, turned, and bolted!
At least that was MY perception of what happened. I was pissed too! I was thinking, "Aww you have GOT to be kidding me! What, am I too ugly to eat a freaking MEAL with!?" 
Now here's what really happened. She suffers from generalized anxiety disorder, which I didn't know, and was already nervous about her first internet date. Throw a loud, crowded, bosterous Mexican restaurant in the mix, and she got half way across the place and had a full on panic attack. She never even saw me. I thought she did, but she did not.
To this day, we're still good friends, and sometimes laugh about the whole thing. It taught me quite a lesson. When it comes to internet dating, cooler heads prevail. There is SO much that is SO easy to misinterpret.
Mark
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| Unique Dating Misunderstandings
Posted: 8/2/2008 11:08:47 AM | Sounds like a pattern some guys follow...had a friend who right off the bat stated that he really didnt want to get serious with anyone because he just got out of a relationship and his ego has been bruised ...so we became friends....to make a long story short..he did find someone on a paid site..sold his condo and moved into hers ....they were married but he did not tell me outright. An order came through at work and the gal that he moved in with had the same last name as his. He married her...and he didnt have the guts to tell me.  | |
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| Unique Dating Misunderstandings
Posted: 8/3/2008 6:05:27 PM | | OMG... I had a very similar situation... I had started talking to the Major in July of 2004. After a couple of months of him always being out of town for work and us never being in the same city at the same time, I stopped hearing from him. A year later I was cleaning out my address book and sent him an email to wish him well. A few minutes later I got an email back saying that in the past year he had been sent to Iraq unexpectedly, broken his neck while he was there, and wound up having surgery and a long recovery to deal with. We met the next day and have been close ever since! So now when I don't hear from him for a few weeks I get worried but not that he's with someone else! LOL | |
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| Unique Dating Misunderstandings
Posted: 7/16/2009 12:01:54 PM | About two years ago I met a woman online and we exchanged a few emails and spoke on the phone a few times. We agreed to meet in a restaurant that I hadn't been to before on a warm summer night. It was a dark outside but there was a street light about 15 meters away. I went into the empty restaurant and waited for half an hour. Frustrated at being stood up, I decided to leave. As I walked away something made me turn back.
She was there except sitting at a table outside! I almost missed out on a date that later turned into a good date.
It would have been nice if she told me she was outside. | |
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| Unique Dating Misunderstandings
Posted: 7/16/2009 2:29:20 PM | | This is funny. Great story. I once went out with a girl that was an investment banker. I think I had to check my pulse because at one point she almost put me in a coma. | |
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| Unique Dating Misunderstandings
Posted: 7/16/2009 2:35:18 PM |
leslie321 on 8/2/2008 12  21 PM:Message: I had been casually dating a nice man who stopped calling out of the blue. I heard from Jack 21 days later, when he woke from a coma that followed a car wreck.
He TOLD you he was in a coma. Oldest line in the book. If it was true, he would have asked you out again.
SwampHunter on 8/2/2008 12  28 PM:I watcher her out the window as she was coming in, and she was just smokin' hot, and I started to get really excited about meeting her. Well, she came in the door, got half way through the crowded restaurant, took one look at me, turned, and bolted!
It was you, not a panic attack. Otherwise she would have asked you for a second date, at a quieter place.
These two examples quoted are perfect example of dumpees in denial. The plain truth is there, yet they refuse to see it because they'd rather believe something more "acceptable". | |
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| Unique Dating Misunderstandings
Posted: 7/16/2009 3:12:48 PM | I went out with a guy once who was on his way to being in SF Sheriff's Dept. He was fun, friendly, and when we worked as partners we had fun together. When we got sworn in, we decided to party with the others, and then go see a movie.
Everything was going great until after the movie was over. It was as if we had turn into 15 year olds,and did not know what to do. Granted, at the time I was new to the dating scene, but finally I just broke dowm and started laughing. He is looking so scared, and then he sees me laughing, and says"What so funny?" and I say "Us. Okay lets never go on another date again without the others!"
He later tells me that one of the guys at the party had told him that he would beat him up, if he tried anything with me after the dinner party. I started laughing again, and asked him, "Was it 'Blank' who said that?" He told me yes, and I said "He forgot to mention he is my cousin." LOL
That taught me a valuable lesson. Never date a coworker, esp one who works with my family. | |
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| Unique Dating Misunderstandings
Posted: 7/17/2009 5:54:38 AM | idoc steve, maybe my original post isn't as clear as it seems to me.
jack is a local and we maintained a friendship following our dating. he's ok now, but he struggled with recovery from his injuries (including a broken neck) for quite some time. he drove me to view the site of the wreck.... had to purchase a replacement vehicle....and we discussed the progress of his rehab. a wreck like that is big news in a rural area and i heard of it when it happened, i just didn't know who was involved.
if missing a date because of a coma is the oldest line in the book, i'm way behind because it was a first for me.
your disbelief is exactly why i started this thread - sometimes excuses are actually significant reasons and there's no need to be hasty about not believing a friend.
yet another misunderstanding huh  | |
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| Unique Dating Misunderstandings
Posted: 7/17/2009 6:24:02 AM |
if missing a date because of a coma is the oldest line in the book, i'm way behind because it was a first for me.
Yeah. Don't you see the news on TV, or in your city they fail to tell you the truth.
"Semi runs into two automobiles on a head on collision, the drivers have suffered major injuries and are in a coma at the local hospitals. The Simi driver was charged, wait, news break. It turns out that the drivers were going to first dates. Police have dropped all charges and are inquiring about dates. We'll tell you more at 11."
It happens all the time. | |
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| Unique Dating Misunderstandings
Posted: 7/17/2009 6:39:47 AM | This was from a while ago... I was on a second date with a great woman. The first date went very well and for the second date we went to a middle eastern restaurant and then walked a couple blocks to a jazz club. As we were walking, she stopped to point out something. It some weird slant of the light, she suddenly looked like my sister  For the rest of the night, I couldn't get the image of my sister out of my mind. Totally crashed the chemistry. | |
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| Unique Dating Misunderstandings
Posted: 7/17/2009 7:51:10 AM | He TOLD you he was in a coma. Oldest line in the book. If it was true, he would have asked you out again.
"Oldest line in the book"?
Why is that? Do women often tell you they're in a coma?
First of all, exactly WHO do you think you ARE? I've known Leslie321 for YEARS... No, she's NOT in denial... She lives in a small town... What's she's stated here is absolute FACT and everyone who knows this man knows this... He actually WAS in a car wreck and actually WAS in a coma!
It was you, not a panic attack. Otherwise she would have asked you for a second date, at a quieter place.
These two examples quoted are perfect example of dumpees in denial. The plain truth is there, yet they refuse to see it because they'd rather believe something more "acceptable".
Once again, you have NO idea what you are talking about... Check the date on this thread... It's OLD... She actually DID ask me for a second date! In fact, to this day she is one of my best friends! If she were still here on POF I'd have her come in here and set you straight herself, but she's been off of POF for a LONG time now...
I would suggest you come down off your high horse and get your facts straight before you start maligning anyone's else's character, calling anyone else a liar, or accusing anyone else of being in "denial"...
As Leslie321 pointed out, this mindset is EXACTLY why she started this thread... It is EASY to have misunderstandings when you do online dating, especially if you have baggage and/or trust issues.
Sometimes a cigar really IS just a cigar!
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| Unique Dating Misunderstandings
Posted: 7/17/2009 11:20:09 PM | This "drive-by voice mail misunderstanding-that-ruined-a-mediocre-luv-connection" happened with My First IRL POF woman this May.
Fair warning: This accounting may read boring to some or most.
Over 2 or 3 weeks we had emailed or phoned every 2 or 3 days, and had dinner at SouperSalad ending with two friendly kisses. One *Thursday* eve. I left her no voice message on the first call, then did 20 minutes later just saying Hi. Emailed next day to invite her to meet for a short hike at 6 am Sat. She replied "I don't get up until 6 so a 6 am hike is out." Called her at 9 am Sat to invite her for same on Sun but for 6:30 am while it's still under 90 degrees. That way she could get up at 5:30. "Ok. I'll think about it", she said.
That afternoon I got an email from her stating "Things just weren't working out well enough... AND ... you really needed to keep better track of your dates, because you left a voice mail *Friday* night for some other woman." I thanked her for the direct message and apologized sincerely, and self-deprecatingly joked I needed major help from my friends now to not confuse gal friends names. Ten minutes after that I thought, "Now wait just a minute." ... No worries, I had been "released back into the wild" at a negligible expense. | |
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| Unique Dating Misunderstandings
Posted: 7/18/2009 8:19:22 AM |
Swamp_Hunter: First of all, exactly WHO do you think you ARE?
My name...is IDOCSTEVE!
Swamp_Hunter: Why is that? Do women often tell you they're in a coma
I had 3 comatose women just last week. It appears to be an epidemic lately.
Swamp_Hunter: She actually DID ask me for a second date!
She might have asked you for the second date just because she felt guilty? Did you ever actually go on the second date? If not, why not?
Swamp_Hunter: I would suggest you come down off your high horse
But I'm not done riding yet!
Swamp_Hunter: Sometimes a cigar really IS just a cigar!
Thats what Monica Lewinsky said | |
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