Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Can anyone explain "You make me want to be a better person"?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 *champrins*
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 1
Can anyone explain "You make me want to be a better person"?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I see this time and time again when boy meets girl or girl meets boy, but mainly when boy meets girl.

You make me want to be a better person

And it seems pretty often they do!

I've seen it far too many times for it to be an accident so I am obviously missing something pretty basic in the male psyche here.

Can anyone explain the male perspective on this?

Thanks

(and yes I did a thread search)
 whowhatme
Joined: 5/28/2008
Msg: 2
view profile
History
Can anyone explain You make me want to be a better person?
Posted: 8/7/2008 7:23:47 AM
It means; I feel good about you, about us, about me, about life and I want to live it.
The positive feelings from a good relationship spill over into the rest of one's life--
 Adam Taylor
Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 3
view profile
History
Can anyone explain You make me want to be a better person?
Posted: 8/7/2008 7:30:44 AM
It means that I love you, and I love us... and I want to make sure that things can work out between us.

That I want to fix my flaws, and be someone that you can truly love and admire. And be proud to be with.

Nobody should change who they are for someone (well, unless maybe who they are is a real ass). LOL!
But, we should be happy being who we are. If you're with someone, and they try to change you... then why are they with you to begin with? You should be with them for who they are, not who you want to make them into.

Of course, none of us are perfect though. We all have little flaws, quirks and habits that can be irritating, or troublesome to a relationship. And we want to fix these up and be the best US we can be. :)
 Seafarer227
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 4
Can anyone explain You make me want to be a better person?
Posted: 8/7/2008 7:33:14 AM
It means that they don't think you've seen "As good as it gets".

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119822/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbyP8gbb1hw

...and of course they expect you to react exactly the same way that Helen Hunt does in the movie.
 secret_agent_thing
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 5
Can anyone explain You make me want to be a better person?
Posted: 8/7/2008 7:45:04 AM
It means my high level of douchebaggery needs to go down for you to want to stay with me on a long term basis.

Singles guys have a little more leeway when they make mistakes. Guys in a relationship however have a relationship on the line so to preserve the relationship we'll make an effort to not be as dumb.
 untamed one
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 6
Can anyone explain You make me want to be a better person?
Posted: 8/7/2008 7:48:26 AM
Brooks and Dunn explain it best ....

I used to have a wild side
They say a country-mile-wide
I'd burn those beer joints down
That's all changed now
You turned my life around..

I used to love 'em and leave 'em
I'd brag about my freedom
How no one could tie me down
Then I met you
Now my heart beats true

I saw the light
I've been baptised
By the fire in your touch
And the flame in your eyes
I'm born to love again
I'm a brand new man.
 Invictus01
Joined: 2/20/2008
Msg: 7
view profile
History
Can anyone explain You make me want to be a better person?
Posted: 8/7/2008 7:49:18 AM
Here is my cynical bitter perspective on this.

You make me want to be a better person = I am not good enough for you = It's not you, it's me = It's you, not me = See ya!
 Mr Happy Pants
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 8
Can anyone explain You make me want to be a better person?
Posted: 8/7/2008 7:50:43 AM
It means people have been watching way too many crappy movies and need to get a life.
 pokerjimmy
Joined: 11/10/2006
Msg: 9
view profile
History
Can anyone explain You make me want to be a better person?
Posted: 8/7/2008 7:50:59 AM
It means when left to our own devices, we sometimes don't see why it's important to keep our place clean, water our flowers, keep more then beer in the fridge etc.

Some of you women improve our lives and who we are as people when we're with you. Of course some of you don't.
 *champrins*
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 10
Can anyone explain You make me want to be a better person?
Posted: 8/7/2008 8:19:35 PM
Thanks everyone for your input. This has been an eye opener.

I have tended to just observe and see how people already are, how they live, the things they do, thinking (and believing) that this is exactly what I would be living with if we pursue a relationship.

But I've seen guys do a complete back flip! From total tossers and womanising twats to being the most wonderful men/husbands. So I had to put the question out there.

I've also seen Mr Wonderful's do a back flip and become totally nasty people.

Oh Oh. I'm scaring myself

HOW THE HECK DO YOU KNOW?

I would have thought in thise age group (I'm 49) that people would have just about sorted out who and what they are about, and I'm finding it not to be the case after all.

Any pointers on spotting the ones who are prepared to work at a realtionship in this way?

Like....it should be a two way street and with both focussed on making the other happy, but without having to give up who you are in the process.

What should I be looking for here?

Thanks
 WpgGentleman2
Joined: 6/19/2008
Msg: 11
Can anyone explain You make me want to be a better person?
Posted: 8/8/2008 1:40:39 AM
It means, "Don't toss me on the garbage dump because I'm acting like a jerk. You know you can make me a better person."

It might be an honest belief, but it might also be pandering to a common desire we think all women share. ("You know you can change me, make me more considerate and romantic. I'll change eventually, so have sex with me now.")

Men have a saying, "A woman marries a man and hopes he'll change. A man marries a woman and hopes she'll never change. Neither gets their wish."
 Bbates024
Joined: 11/11/2004
Msg: 12
Can anyone explain You make me want to be a better person?
Posted: 8/8/2008 1:51:35 AM
Yes its because there is something wrong with that person, sorry I drink all the time but with you I dont want to. LOL If someone says that to you beware. I mean I love who I am and I hope others do to, but if someone told me that I make them better or want to be I would take that as a bad sign.
 Vancer
Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 13
Can anyone explain You make me want to be a better person?
Posted: 8/8/2008 2:07:04 AM
I kinda like WpgGentleman2's post.

If someone can't find the person compatible with them, then they might be thinking the option is to a find person willing to become compatible with them.
However, one will be spinning their own wheels until they become the type of person to inspire that effort in another.
 TheWeekdy
Joined: 10/13/2005
Msg: 14
view profile
History
Can anyone explain You make me want to be a better person?
Posted: 8/8/2008 4:55:36 AM
Speaking from my personal experience, I feel that when a guy says this to a girl, it's not because he messed up or anything. We'll give you fvck up flowers for that.

It genuinely means that there is something so special about this woman, we are inspired to want to become a better person. What brings about this kind of thinking? On the surface, a person might say that it's because the guy is totally unsure about himself in the relationship, or that he is just being insecure.

Maybe it has more to do with the fact that the guy is thinking beyond the long-term, and moving more into the lifelong partnership mentality.

The one time I told a girl that, I decided that I really wanted to become a better person. It is not because she actually asked me to change anything about me, or that I was insecure about myself. It was a pivotal moment in my relationship because I kinda stopped seeing her as a girlfriend, and more as a partner in life, if you get where I am coming from. I saw what she did from day to day, and just be amazed at how she was able to maintain and run her own home while going to college and working while having a boyfriend like it was nothing.

And I actually went through on the making myself a better person; I graduated from college, I am in the best shape of my life, and I have a lovely career waiting for me. The girl isn't around any more, but I always think of her because she did inspire me to achieve all this and more. My life right now would have been completely different if I wouldn't have met her, and I truly believe that because I had very little direction at the time.

Situations for others may be different, but that is my take on it.

Stay in school

A Prosthetic Aesthetic
 Paumanok
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 15
Can anyone explain You make me want to be a better person?
Posted: 8/8/2008 6:00:42 AM
Love can focus a man who was previously aimless. He assumes the role and with it the responsibilities, and has no reason to be casting about opportunistically distracted by sexual possibilities. But if it's said in supplication it is pathetic pandering. Then it is the man positioning himself beneath the woman in one way so she will position herself beneath him another way.
 That-Guy-Jeff
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 16
view profile
History
Can anyone explain You make me want to be a better person?
Posted: 8/8/2008 6:13:53 AM
basically a guy saying he's willing to "try" because he's trusting you and liking that he's trusting you... sucks huh?
 Minerva73
Joined: 10/18/2005
Msg: 17
Can anyone explain You make me want to be a better person?
Posted: 8/8/2008 6:39:17 AM
Simply put a man when in love will never feel worthy of someone as special as the woman he is with so he will desire to be worthy of her affection. He may say "You make me want to be a better man", or "I don't deserve such a great woman" or my favorite from old movies "What did a shmuck like me do to deserve a beauty like you doll?" (Yeah that one is dated).
It's been said many different ways but ultimately it comes down to the same thing. Men are never adequately equal when it comes to making that emotional connection to making a woman feel as special as she does for her man. A woman (In My Opinion) makes a man feel like he is on top of the world as long as he is himself and is good to her yet us guys never feel we do enough to deserve that.
 Paumanok
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 18
Can anyone explain You make me want to be a better person?
Posted: 8/8/2008 6:48:51 AM
That's only because men enjoy women so much more than women are capable of enjoying men. If women had anywhere near men's capacity, women would be chasing men down the street.
 *champrins*
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 19
Can anyone explain You make me want to be a better person?
Posted: 8/8/2008 9:02:26 AM
Sitting here in tears (literally)

Thank you all so much for your honest input
I knew I was missing something
Thats why I put it out there

And I am ashamed to say I have severely underestimated the capacity some men have to love, and to 'show' that love in tangible ways.

The post explaining about how much a womans love actually means to man, and the value he places on that....wow

I literally have tears rolling down my face here.

Thank you for opening my eyes to this aspect of manhood that (at 49 can you believe) I simply didnt know. I just didnt know.....

Thank you to all of you for opening up and letting me see it through a mans eyes so I could understand this.

And to the poster who illustrated it with finishing college etc. Yes. It makes sense now. Thank you.

 Gangster Kitten
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 20
Can anyone explain You make me want to be a better person?
Posted: 8/8/2008 9:19:48 AM

It means people have been watching way too many crappy movies and need to get a life.


I shot coffee out of my nose, and QFT

(quoted for truth)
 _Icon_
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 21
Can anyone explain You make me want to be a better person?
Posted: 8/8/2008 10:03:09 AM
It just means he will now say "excuse me" when he farts.
 SomeStrangeMan
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 22
Can anyone explain You make me want to be a better person?
Posted: 8/8/2008 12:25:29 PM
I see it as probably being one of two things.

1. He feels unworthy of you. - I.e. "I know I'm not good enough for you, but I'm really going to try to be good enough for you."
2. You've shown him what he will become if he doesn't change, and he doesn't like it.

So, its either really really good (assuming he actually manages to be better) OR its terrible, and he was merely being diplomatic.
 Sardonis
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 23
Can anyone explain You make me want to be a better person?
Posted: 8/8/2008 12:40:30 PM
Because while there is no crime in it, being a perpetual bachelor who goes from woman to woman is not exactly considered a pillar of society.

Also it means that he is so smitten by her that she inspires him to get up and go to work every day, take pride in what he does, looks forward to living right, wants to be monogamous and do the best he can to provide for his family.

I assume most men out there want to be in this state. But he only wants to go there for that particular woman who inspires it in him.

But a lot of women seem to not be attracted to the guy who wants to do all that for her because he comes across as the "nice guy" or doormat, or she is attracted to the "asshole" because his assertiveness is seen as a strength.

It must be some Darwinian thing.
 esad
Joined: 4/8/2007
Msg: 24
view profile
History
Can anyone explain You make me want to be a better person?
Posted: 8/8/2008 1:28:17 PM
You make me want to be a better person
And it seems pretty often they do!
I've seen it far too many times for it to be an accident so I am obviously missing something pretty basic in the male psyche here.
Can anyone explain the male perspective on this?


"The Male Perspective " ? No.
THIS males perspective, sure !
It was a great line out of a movie, made better because of who delivered it. (Jack Nicholson!)
It is now a cliche made lame due to the number of times it is delivered every day.
Soon it will rank up there with " I've never done THAT before!" and
"The check is in the mail"
Is this really " As Good As It Gets" ?
 Dumpling-Girl
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 25
view profile
History
Can anyone explain You make me want to be a better person?
Posted: 8/8/2008 1:40:39 PM
I think for some guys it's supposed to be the ultimate compliment that they could give. They enjoy their single, wild, carefree bachelor side, and for you to make them want to give that up means that they really have strong feelings for you, and want to do what they can o keep you, and also feel that you are a good person, that deserves a good person to be with. I don't think it's so much about spotting the type of guys that will do this, as finding a guy who feels this way towards you. I'm sure there are guys that will never grow up and will always treat whatever woman they are with poorly, but my guess is that the majority of guys that treat women badly would treat "the one" better, and treat women that they don't feel that with like crap. There is also the small group of men who don't need to say things like "you make me want to be a better person" because they already conduct themselves with as much integrity as possible. That latter group tends to be where I date. They don't have a wild and crazy playboy lifestyle to leave behind. I like geeks.
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Can anyone explain "You make me want to be a better person"?