| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 8/8/2008 11:18:53 AM | Hi,
I am 55yr old woman who lost husband of 27 yrs to cancer 4 yrs ago-- devastated me. We did everything together from 4 wheeling, motorcycle, fishing, camping, canoeing etc- best friends. It took me 2 yrs to get out and date and after many dates met the "one" I thought, moved him in, was IN LOVE!!! We had so much fun together 4 wheeling, Laconia, cooking, playing guitar, each others families. He didnt work after several mos so that was a problem, well after a year, I came home one day and he was GONE! He left me for 33 yr old with a 2 1/2 yr old, not particularly attractive, talked him into selling 4 wheeler he loved, didnt like to ride motorcycle. - I didnt get it!! Well he left her also. Now 14 mos since he left me and was still grieving over him, dated a few here and there, met another guy that I really fell for, everything in common again.....saw each other 30 days in a row(his idea), told me he was in this for the "long haul", I was his little "hottie", introduced me to family and friends, told them I was a "keeper", things going great, he lets me go last week for 33 yr old, again nothing to write home about, (I'm sure shes nice), but so am I, what and why would someone do this to a woman that is nice, self sufficient, not looking for sugar daddy......why guys? I have been crying a lot lately feeling "what is wrong w/ me?? | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 8/8/2008 11:28:52 AM | Not even men understand how men think..but they sure have a lot to say about what a woman thinks...or is... There is nothing wrong with you...you just haven't found the one that is just right for you...hang in there and don't be so critical of yourself because someone treated you this way. | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 8/8/2008 11:29:16 AM | | There's a book you need to read called "Why Men Love ****es" by Sherry Argov. It shows women how to be strong and not be a doormat. Good luck! | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 8/8/2008 11:29:25 AM | This isn't about how men think, this is about those two men you mentioned, not every man there is in general. were not all the same.
Chances are those two guys just wanted someone much younger, for very obvious reasons i think. | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 8/8/2008 11:31:13 AM | | There is nothing wrong with you...unfortunately people have the ability to play on other peoples weaknessess. You are like myself(also widowed 4 yrs) not looking for a replacement but definitely want some one in our lives to take away the lonliness. They have picked up on your vibes and have played on them. It is unfortunate that you have managed to pick up 2 lemons in a row.....3rd time is a charm, keep your chin up and try not to be to discouraged about this...it could have been worse, you could have married them. | |
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tweepz
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Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 6 | |
| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 8/8/2008 11:34:17 AM | | All men and women need to read "men are from mars, women are from venus"...you will be enlightened!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it is awesome book | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 8/8/2008 11:43:42 AM | Write a letter to him and get everything off your chest and I mean everything. Then just destroy the letter and move on.
Many go throught the same thing. Try having your best friend move in with your man. We all have bad things happen. Bad things happen to good people.
And sometimes one just reall need a real good cry and then move on. There is no real answer to this except time. keep moving forward one day at a time. | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 8/8/2008 11:47:27 AM |
I have been crying a lot lately feeling "what is wrong w/ me??
There's nothing wrong with you. You shouldn't blame yourself for the poor character of the men your choosing to give your heart to. Sounds like you just need to be a little more cautious about whose hands you place your heart in. | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 8/8/2008 11:47:55 AM | Your cool. But you left out one part of the information I believe. How old were these guys?
This one cuts both way if they are younger than you are. I date younger women most of the time. And if you do that you take the chance that they with run off with someone else. Not fair, just fact. | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 8/8/2008 11:53:05 AM | I think you need to assess if you are giving too much too soon when entering a relationship..............Women need to learn fall in love in a way that they dont give up who they are.
As for understanding how men think. For the most part....very logically actually.......its just not all so emotional for them.
PEACE | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 8/8/2008 11:55:05 AM | | The way I think is visual. In my mind's eye I picture wooden blocks with letters on them. Then mentally I compose words by arranging the blocks in the proper sequence, in turn forming sentences of those words. It's much like typing this reply only instead of the letters on the screen my thoughts are a series of imaginary wooden letter blocks. My best thinking happens in the morning and I call that my morning wood. My biggest fear as I age is mental termites. I used to think using animal crackers as pictographs but it got to be like a zoo in here. Some of my thoughts were preying on others, and always biting the heads off first. The only other man I know exactly how he thinks is my father. His method is to clear his mind of all distractions and then let random brain impulses suggest recognizable patterns. When he is deep in thought you can tell by how he frequently gets a look of recognition. His eyebrows go up and he says "Aha!" a lot. I don't know how any other men think. | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 8/8/2008 11:55:43 AM | Ok Tyler put your curb feelers away and realize we ARE talking about her and the men SHE had these experiences with.Disclaimer: Not all men are the same
Those two men wanted to do some cradle robbing...it doesn't make you undesireable. wait till they talk to him about furbies and he hasn't a clue what they are talking about...because hes TOO OLD! | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 8/8/2008 12:14:30 PM | As someone else said, this is not about how MEN think, because all men are not the same and not all men would do what these did to you.
Since this is not a MEN question, it is a 'these men', or what's wrong with YOU question... how can we know?
How old were these guys? (it is not obvious why men would prefer a 33yr old. It would only be obvious if the men were in their 30's)
Do you have NO idea why they moved on to someone else?
What IS wrong with you? You asked us, but how can we know?
What was wrong with these guys that you did or did not mention...
Without more info we are just shooting in the dark, or transferring our own experiences onto yours, and that isn't right either.
If you did not chase them away with your behavior, neglect, attitude, etc... then there is nothing wrong with you except your choice of men.
What can you learn about these two situations that will help you avoid finding another guy with the same attributes?
In the end, the only thing you can control is yourself. If the problem is in you, you can change it, or find guys that understand and accept those failings. You are attractive and if you are mostly nice as you say, then there are guys that will love you enough to tolerate some imperfections. (and we are all imperfect) But you need to let them see the imperfections and watch how they deal with them before you start counting them as 'the one'.
If the problem is in the guys you choose, you can learn to choose better. | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 8/8/2008 12:22:40 PM | I just realized something that doesn't make a lot of since here, or I don't know how to add one. Your husband died 4 yrs ago, you were alone for 2 yrs, was with the 1st man for a year, 14mths go by and you meet man #2???
You met 2 men that you thought were the one in less than 2 yrs and gave them your heart??? Hun, your giving your heart away to easily . Maybe lonely, still grieving over your late husband, I don't know? I've been divorced for 14 yrs, and in my whole life, I've only met what I thought was the 1 twice. Maybe you need to do some real soul searching and ask yourself why your giving your heart away so quickly? | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 8/8/2008 12:49:40 PM | Just a shot in the dark here, but from your profile pictures you seem to be dressing far and away younger then you are... It's like you're not accepting your age, and so I guess if a guy is attracted to you -- while you're trying to look 33 -- then it might not be totally surprising when he get's a shot at a real 33 year old, he takes it.
Maybe you should really consider the image your projecting and what this says to men... sometimes you have to change the bait... if you want a guy who's not just out for a good time, maybe you shouldn't look like that's all you're out for either.
Just a thought. | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 8/8/2008 12:52:22 PM | I have a hunch that what happened is you met a younger man(relatively speaking) who you took under your wing.
He may have meant all those sweet things he said about you and felt feelings for you because you were good to him, but he may have been there more for his comfort. | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 8/8/2008 12:53:58 PM | maybe it needs [you] to take a good look at or in the mirror whos looking back at you , when a couple of people men or women do the same pattern , i would more be inclined to who you are attracted too or whom you are trying to be attracted too ,??? | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 8/8/2008 12:55:40 PM | whats wrong with you???
whats wrong is that you fall in love before seeing the whites of their lies...
trust must be earned...otherwise predators look at a good heart and kind soul as being weak.
and...I DO know how men think.... with either head... | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 8/8/2008 1:05:45 PM | You know, I think widows have to be very careful about who they bring into their lives. OP, you are a very attractive woman, but I have been told by some widows my own age that men sometimes view them as easy targets, both financially and emotionally. I think you have to be very careful, it sounds like you had a wonderful marriage to a man that you really loved and that is what you are trying to replace, which is understandable. However, you need to take it slow and really know the men you are getting involved with. If were you, I would be very wary of anyone who rushes you or moves in with you. Please be careful.
Design
>> Does anyone understand how WOMEN think?
Yes!
(poorly)
This was necessary for what reason? | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 8/8/2008 1:13:36 PM | In answer to your question...yes I think I do...finally. Men want a woman who is
1) Sexy
2) Fun
And I don't think it matters to men whether you have the character of Mother Theresa. If you haven't those two qualities...a woman doesn't have a hope in hell of holding onto one.
As for your age, it matters not. Most of the men who contact me tell me they prefer older women, because many want established, mature, uninhibited and confident women. I am a much better catch on many levels than I was when I was younger. So I wouldn't beat yourself up about the age factor. He probably wasn't the right one for you despite the age difference. Regardless of age, you had better be SEXY no matter what your age, and you better be FUN to be around. | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 8/8/2008 1:16:39 PM | she`s 33...ur 55...do the math.....her sex drive is higher.....she will be around longer to wait on him......she will be able to take care of him when he needs a hoveround....it`s all about youth....not hard ta figure out....it`s NOT right but that`s what it`s about...basically men`s insecurities and desires is why they choose younger women....not rocket science. | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 8/8/2008 1:28:35 PM | | Its about them being younger that is the most powerful attraction. It makes a guy feel younger more alive more like a real man if he can get a younger woman. Even if she is not all that. You are applying to much common sense and logic to this. Its not about you are what you have or don't have. Its all about how he feels about himself when he is with a younger woman. REPEAT: Its all about how he feels about himself when he is with a younger woman. It makes him feel incredible and its very hard for him to resist not going for a younger woman if he has the opportunity. Hope this helps. Happy Hunting | |
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T Roy
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Joined: 6/1/2007
Msg: 25 | |
| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 8/8/2008 1:33:35 PM | Do not feel bad! The same type of things happen with me with women.
lets also write..Does anyone understand how Men AND Women Think? | |
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