Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Ismene1
Joined: 7/25/2008
Msg: 1
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?Page 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Maybe this seems like a silly question, I don't know. But I am wondering about all the feelings associated with 'falling in love.' All the feelings, all the behavior, etc. Do you think it is different for people who are in their late 40's or in their 50's, 60's, and so on, than it is for younger people. The last time I fell in love, I was in my 30's. A long time ago.

So, I guess I am asking people who have fallen in love after 45 or so what it's like and if it is different, rather than asking people to speculate on whether or not they think it would be the same or different.

Thanks in advance for your responses. Curiousity killed the cat. Fortunately I am not a cat!!
 DoobieBro
Joined: 7/26/2008
Msg: 2
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/8/2008 11:18:09 PM
Mentally it's the same. It's just like getting on a horse/bike again after you were off of the horse/bike for 20 years. (Anything to ride) You still feel the tingle from head to toe.It overhelming, yet extremely invigorating. But, unfortunately you lose your lower extremities.(not a problem I have at 39!!!) Welcome to our pill popping consumption society.There's a different color and size and shape of pills worth $3.99 --$24.99. For any occassion. And, sex is one of them that you reach in the 40's,50's and 60's...So, may I suggest the blue-pear shaped capsule to you, sir?
 Ismene1
Joined: 7/25/2008
Msg: 3
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/8/2008 11:31:18 PM
Appreciate your post DoobieBro, but i am not asking for speculation.

I'm asking for replies from people who are over 45 and have fallen in love since they were over 45.
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 4
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/8/2008 11:44:05 PM
Im trying to figure out how to turn love over and find the expiration date on it!!!!!

Being seriously...I cant really say since it aint happened yet!
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 5
view profile
History
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/8/2008 11:54:48 PM
I have a couple of friends (about my age) who tell me it's quite similar as when they were much younger. They note that they no longer have to worry about accidental pregnancy ... but still worry about disease.

I've seen many of my friends go through the whole process of falling in love ... I've seen them all giddy and giggly ... starry-eyed. Unfortunately, I've also witnessed what it does to them when they lose their love whether via a cheating partner or just loss of interest or even death.

And yes ... the loss of a love at our age can be quite devastating. I recently lost one of my best friends. She had been in a relationship for about 5 years. Her significant other is so devastated.

I hope to experience finding love again. I can't wait for the "butterflies", being giddy and giggly. Most of all, I can't wait to have a partner to go home to ... to snuggle with ... spend my time with.

Gee I sure hope it's a man who likes music ... likes to ride a bike ... doesn't mind if I spend hours outside playing in the flowers ... won't mind if I leave my cross stitching out on the table from time to time ... sigh.
 Ismene1
Joined: 7/25/2008
Msg: 6
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/8/2008 11:57:13 PM

Im trying to figure out how to turn love over and find the expiration date on it!!!!!


I'm not saying we don't fall in love; also don't believe there is an 'expiration date' (lol) on love. Just wondering if it is in some ways different than when we are younger. Just an area of discussion. I imagine there will be a variety of responses. Cheers!
 *~*ChardyGirl*~*
Joined: 6/29/2007
Msg: 7
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/9/2008 12:58:54 AM
In my experience,its the SAME................meaning,that breathless, outta-this-world feeling,or whatever it was * you * felt years ago,is still the same....

-- the butterflies,giddiness,floating on air feeling......those basic feelings remain unchanged.

Ive felt things very passionately ALL my life,& this is no exception....

 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 8
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/9/2008 2:31:17 AM
I have not "fallen" for anyone since my ex wife in 1986. That puts my last fall when I was UNDER the 45+ bracket so ..........

I have ............ no idea lol.

I can say one thing that surprised me. When I was getting divorced (back in 2003) I would have bet anyone - that I would have had a girlfriend within six months.

Even as picky as I am - six months max.

Boy oh boy was I wrong about that. It is my own fault too. It seems I really don't try very hard.

Maybe a good follow up would be > If you tried as hard as you did years ago - would it be different.

When I was younger - I usually had a girlfriend. If I did not have a girlfriend - finding a nice looking gal (two way match) was JOB ONE.

I still wish I had the right girlfriend (would not have a so so one - would have to be a great match) but - after 40 years of having a female in my life ....... it just don't seem as important to me as it use to be.

It is just too dang easy with just me and my furry ones.

Boy ..... did I get off track lol.
 ankkka
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 9
view profile
History
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/9/2008 5:48:45 AM
I think yes...it is different!
When I was young...falling in love was very easy...nice and handsome boys...they were everywhere... It was like testing my emotions...feelings...joy...happiness...dreams...etc.

Now...I know what means LOVE to me...so falling in love is not easy.I need...I want a reason to be in love with somebody.Perhaps my heart is always ready...but not my mind.
 Smart Lass
Joined: 6/9/2008
Msg: 10
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/9/2008 6:36:29 AM
I think the spark that makes you stop and look twice at person is the same, although finding that spark is more difficult as you get older, well for me it is.

There are people who fall in love everyday, I don't know how they do, but they do. I am not sure if it is because their heart is more open or it is because they are not very selective, I don't really know the answer.

When someone strikes my fancy, I don't think about whether or not I could fall in love with him. I think about, could I love him as a person, the person he is. If the answer is yes, then I think about if I could fall in love with him. I think a lot of people get confused with the terms "I love you" and " I am in love with you" some seem to think the statements are one in the same and nothing could be further from the truth. I have met many men that I love for the person that they are, however I could never be in love with them for whatever reason that "extra spark" will never be there. Just the love and respect that I have for them for being the person that they are.

When I find a man that I love for the person that he is, after a time my mind seems to shift into "could I be in love?" That is dependent on a lot of factors. Do I want to be in love? I think about his responses to me and what he is looking for and I wonder, could I give him what he needs? For me the process is a intense one, at times maybe too analytical and yes difficult for sure. But you know I want to be right about how I feel for my sake and for his.
 Mr Happy Pants
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 11
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/9/2008 6:51:08 AM

So, I guess I am asking people who have fallen in love after 45 or so what it's like and if it is different, rather than asking people to speculate on whether or not they think it would be the same or different.


I'm with Ron on this one. The last time I was in love, was when I was falling out of it while getting divorced. I was 43 back then.

Hasn't happened since.
 Ismene1
Joined: 7/25/2008
Msg: 12
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/9/2008 6:58:25 AM

It seems I really don't try very hard. Maybe a good follow up would be > If you tried as hard as you did years ago - would it be different.


ha ha ...
Okay Ron, Mr. Happy: we will have to have some kind of follow up ...are you both just not making enough effort?
 starry_night
Joined: 8/15/2006
Msg: 13
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/9/2008 7:18:48 AM
Personally, the difference has been learning to comfort myself from rejection. When I was young I didn't seem to have that problem....

The quality of the love I fall with is far more refined by understanding. When I fall I'm in 100%....but I have no expectations anymore to receive love back again....these days I just keep it to myself....
 greeneyes191
Joined: 6/1/2008
Msg: 14
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/9/2008 7:34:34 AM
Hmm - hasn't happened yet for me. I'll have to get back to you on that.
 Mr Happy Pants
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 15
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/9/2008 7:38:37 AM

Okay Ron, Mr. Happy: we will have to have some kind of follow up ...are you both just not making enough effort?


Casual dating holds no lure for me. As I've said to other folks who ask me that question, no I don't make dating a priority. I make people a priority. So if I met a woman I wanted to date? I'd make dating her a priority.

My geographic location makes meeting people a near 100% impossibility, but that's ok. I came on here to try and meet people and I met some very wonderful women. A few of which I am still friends with. Right now, I'm not making any effort because I just don't feel like dealing with any of it for awhile.

There's folks who feel like they have to be in a relationship to be a valid human being. There's folks that feel they have to prove to everyone they are a valid independent human being so they make it a point to be by themselves and forsake everyone.

Then I think there's the rest of us, who are quite happy with life in general and take neither path.

Am I making enough effort? Depends on who you ask. If you ask me? I make more than enough. lol
 Wisteria-tx
Joined: 5/17/2008
Msg: 16
view profile
History
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/9/2008 8:02:44 AM
It is the same. The last time I was in love I was 46. And felt like a teenager. Wow, that rush!

But it was harder when we broke up then break-ups I remember from when I was younger. I'm not sure if age played any roll in that or not. I believe it was because of the man and the wonderful relationship we had.

So if you're reading this drifter....the memories are good ones!

(I recently found out he's a member here. ahhh small world. )
 Ismene1
Joined: 7/25/2008
Msg: 17
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/9/2008 8:05:25 AM

I know what means LOVE to me...so falling in love is not easy.I need...I want a reason to be in love



For me the process is a intense one, at times maybe too analytical and yes difficult for sure



The quality of the love I fall with is far more refined by understanding.


It seems that being older and having more experience, some of us are more circumspect, thoughtful, careful about falling in love. Maybe too careful? Over analyzing it?
 ankkka
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 18
view profile
History
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/9/2008 8:35:27 AM
You have to be thoughtful...
Remember...that love involves two people.Warming somebody's heart...if you are not sure about that person..and your real feeling....is wrong.
No one wants to be hurt.
And in the world there are plenty of people waiting for love.
Sometimes first...sometimes last.
 parrothead 13
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 19
view profile
History
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/9/2008 9:07:04 AM
op: yeah its different. when your young you take it a lot more seriously a lot sooner. when your young and you fall you stay down a while if it dont work. when you get older your less likely to fall, but if you do fall you fall and tend to make more of an effort to make it work. less selfish hopefully as well
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 20
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/9/2008 10:35:00 AM
The only thing I have noticed is that the "FALSE HOPE" that someone might be to you what your heart wishes for has a much deeper downward spiral.

When you are younger you get back on the pony quicker...now you try and figure out what was wrong so you dont make the same mistake again. I dont think it is people are afraid to try, I think people want more assurances there is a possibility it will work otherwise you have some wacko in your life you have to deal with.

But that IMO has nothing to do with love and more to do with making a bad judgement call.
 Henry L. Moon
Joined: 6/1/2008
Msg: 21
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/9/2008 10:50:54 AM
Hhhmmm.....young love.....I remember it well, a summer love..a brief time in the sun with the most beautiful girl this boy had ever seen....a few fleeting weeks together and then she had to go home because school was starting and I could not follow her because my own school was starting up again and my folks wouldn't let me. We had no babies together....no car payments.....no discussions upon what furniture may look best in our house.....no discussions upon what colors to paint the house....house payments.....no sharp elbows to the ribs because she thought I was staring at another woman at the mall. In our youth we all believed that love was so nearly exactly like the songs on the car radio said it was...simple....easy....she was always beautiful and the sex was great.
Years later, after a long marriage....we see love a bit differently...jaded??....in some instances, sure....but more practically...we know that love is a lot like a job and a job that we do not "clock out" from ...that is if we wish it success. We are now just looking for that "time clock buddy"
 CanTeloupe
Joined: 7/24/2008
Msg: 22
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/9/2008 11:02:45 AM
Love never changes only people do. So at age 15 or 55 or 95 it is the same. The only difference is the maturity level of the people involved.
 chitown gal
Joined: 7/17/2007
Msg: 23
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/9/2008 11:02:45 AM
When you fall in love it's mostly chemistry. The hormones though diminished are still there. It's not different. I fell in love last fall to a much younger man. It felt very much the same as when I was younger. The tingly feelings when you meet again, the longing to see him. We have never said "I love you," though. I know my feelings for him are deeper than his are for me. And now the passion has died down considerably. I think he does love me, but more in a brotherly way.
 Its Better Together
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 24
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/9/2008 11:03:33 AM
Good question. Because of the "utimate high" I felt when falling in love... my much younger self was far more willing to overlook and ignore the red flags waving in the face of men I found myself "falling in love" with.
Today I am far more guarded...so much so....I am almost unwilling and hesitant to allow myself to go there.
ps. I don't think there is any love more profound than one's "first love".
 ketch
Joined: 8/24/2006
Msg: 25
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/9/2008 11:06:26 AM
It's exactly the same as it was when you were a teenager, or possibly worse. Then, you didn't know how badly the fall could hurt. Now you do. Then you recovered quickly after a weekend of listening to sad songs. Now it takes longer. They you could wallow in the feelings. Now you are supposed to be an adult. Then you could ask you parents for advice. Now you don't dare ask your children for advice.

Yep. The feeling is the same. The results are worse.

Still. I'm going back in the pool and trying to swim again. Why? It beats the heck out of the alternative.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?