| Broken heart? Yeah, I'm in the right forum
Posted: 8/8/2008 11:17:08 PM | Just found out earlier today that my cat might have cancer in the form of a tumour on the side of her neck.
So yeah, I am broken hearted.
Please don't try to tell me otherwise.
My girl is 16.5 years old. She's been with me since she was a kitten and I barely knew my own phone number.
And although I have already agreed to put her down if the test results come back as positive for cancer, its still hard for me to grip.
The reality of the fact that one phone call will possibly end her life.
Any helpful ideas?
Please, no hate or rude comments. I am not in the mood for bulls**t tonight. | |
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| Broken heart? Yeah, I'm in the right forum
Posted: 8/8/2008 11:53:36 PM | | :( My condolences. I have no helpful ideas, just know that you're doing her a favor and do it for her rather than not doing it for yourself. | |
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| Broken heart? Yeah, I'm in the right forum
Posted: 8/9/2008 12:05:48 AM | So sorry to hear about your cat. She (and all pets) are not just dumb animals, your girl is part of your life and your heart.
Is she showing signs of illness or discomfort now? It's only when her quality of life is bad that you really need to make that decision to put her down. Let us know what the results are? | |
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| Broken heart? Yeah, I'm in the right forum
Posted: 8/9/2008 12:30:23 AM | So sorry to hear that you got to let her go, well I would think of it like this, my Tabatha 16 yrs old Tabby had Feline Leukemia, and she died with me on the sofa, she is in my garden where she always sat. Then a few months later a little black and white kitten walked in the back door, like he owned the place, he stood in the cat dish and called for food, funny - well it made me laugh, I tried to find out where the little chap came from to no avail, so he stayed, he lives outside but comes inside for his food. On a cold winters night he will get on my bed but is always gone in the morning.
Some people hate cats and some people love them - you obviously have a lot of love to give the next cat, so go on be brave let her go (it cant be fun dying slowly from cancer), you know you made the right choices (HUGS). | |
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| Broken heart? Yeah, I'm in the right forum
Posted: 8/9/2008 12:38:49 AM | | So sorry for your cat right now. I know how it feels. People can build up deep relationship with their animal if they are with them for a long time. I had a mutt that was 7 years old when it got ran over. I went through a really bad time after it. | |
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| Broken heart? Yeah, I'm in the right forum
Posted: 8/9/2008 12:54:01 AM | So sorry to hear. I too had to have a beautiful girl put down.... mine was a horse. It was the hardest decision I had to make at the time. She was in alot of pain and I needed to do what was best for her, not me.
Our pets know how much they are loved. Give her a big cuddle, and a kiss, and tell her how much you love her. Thank her for being your best friend. Let her know it's ok for her to go, that you will be ok. She will ALWAYS be with you.
It might sound silly but I wrote my horse a letter, saying how I felt and somehow, writing it all down made it a bit easier to deal with the grief. I also buried a tissue with my tears on it in the soil where her grave is.
Oh god, how dramatic! But I was just a teenager, and it got me through.
I have a 17 year old Jack Russell, I'll be a mess when its his time to go, but I'll think of the fantastic life I gave him. And how lucky we were to have each other.
Take time to grieve.
She will be with you every step of the way.
X | |
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| Broken heart? Yeah, I'm in the right forum
Posted: 8/9/2008 12:55:01 AM | xunderdog,
To lose a companion who has been with you for most of your life is SO hard ...
you have my greatest sympathies.
I lost a precious dog (collie) to the same type of disease (thyroid cancer).
When the time comes ... hold her in your arms as the vet injects her.
He will give her a strong sedative that simply slows her breathing and heart until they gently stop. The whole process takes less than 10 seconds.
Stroke her, cuddle her ... angle her head so you can look into her eyes.
Remember - although YOU know this is the end - she does not.
She will simply look at you - the constant companion for the whole of her life ...
who she loves above no other ... and slide gently into sleep.
And ...
I have no idea about your religious beliefs ... I can simply explain what has happened to me.
My dog "came back" to me - the night following her death ...
At the time, I lived in a house which was undergoing DIY work. It was open plan. I had lino in the kitchen, then a large bare patch of concrete, then carpet in the lounge.
I was sitting quietly, in the near-dark - totally sober - but feeling so sad.
I heard familiar soft skidding noises as doggy paws searched for a grip on the lino in the kitchen. They became sharp tap, tap, tap noises as she crossed the concrete. Then pad, pad, pad noises as she crossed the carpet. They came closer. I could smell her soft doggy smell.
She had found her way back to me. Even in death, she was with me.
I worked as a paramedic for over a decade. I was privileged to be with hundreds of people as they crossed over from this world to the next.
Over - and over - and over - again, I sat with my terminal patients as their life ebbed away. I could do nothing more for them - simply hold their hand.
I watched their faces as the pain and exhaustion of their dying was replaced by joy and recognition. Watched as they raised a hand in greeting to those friends and family who had gone before them - and who had come back to escort them over.
Your little furry friend will wait for you. And, when your time comes ... will be there to greet you.
I am sure of that.
xxxxxx | |
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| Broken heart? Yeah, I'm in the right forum
Posted: 8/9/2008 1:22:58 AM | Sorry about your kitty. I have a 19 year old cat with a tumor in her ear. She's not bothered by it so I haven't had to make any decisions as of yet.
I think it is important that you have some time to spend with her and be able to say good-bye. | |
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| Broken heart? Yeah, I'm in the right forum
Posted: 8/9/2008 4:12:02 AM |
I have two cats and they truly mean the world to me.Only thinking about losing one of them breaks my heart and I totally understand about your broken heart.I am sorry you have to go through this and I hope the Kitty isn`t in too much Pain.
Find out more about the cancer and how it will affect her.She may be able to live a pain free life for a little longer.How has it been affecting her so far?? | |
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| Broken heart? Yeah, I'm in the right forum
Posted: 8/9/2008 5:10:01 AM | Boy OP, do I understand your pain. I have a cat right now who is young and healthy, but last June '07, I had to have my 14yr old dog put to sleep. It was pretty sudden, the vet thinks he threw a blot clot into his lung, so we didn't have a choice. My daughter and I cried our eyes out as we held him and said goodbye. I had him cremated so I can keep him around. And I know that he came back to visit a few times, the cat knows it too. I still think about him almost everyday, we'd had him since he was 8 weeks old.
You will know to do the right thing for your girl. You don't want her to suffer in pain. My heart goes out to you. | |
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| Broken heart? Yeah, I'm in the right forum
Posted: 8/9/2008 5:25:26 AM | | I can truely feel your pain on this one. 2 years ago I lost my Saint Benard of over 13 years that I raised. And for anyone to say that animals don't have feelings but to watch her look up at me, tears run down her eyes and take her last breath, well then I don't think those people truely knows what compassion is in the first place. | |
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| Broken heart? Yeah, I'm in the right forum
Posted: 8/9/2008 5:49:58 AM | Been where you are. I have had to put more than one dog down and its not an easy decision to make. The best advise I can give you is to do what is best for your pet.
Focus on the joy she has given you and not on the end of her life. Death comes to all living things. I have dealth with my share. Cry your river of tears, and then like I say remember the good things about your life with her. Honor the life....not the death.
PEACE
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| Broken heart? Yeah, I'm in the right forum
Posted: 8/9/2008 7:13:33 AM | While you had little choice in being a pet owner considering the young age at which this cat was brought into your life, part of being a pet owner/mama is dealing with this. It sucks and it is heartbreaking. We had to put one of our dogs down when I was around 12 and I cried myself to sleep for months. But when an animal is ailing, keeping her around because you don't want to let her go is selfish and you should try to take some comfort in knowing you care more about the cat than your own feelings, a good thing.
The only thing you can do to try to make this better is be responsible. As a pet owner you are also like a parent. Your cat has lived a very long life even by the long-life cat standard and you have to reorient your thinking on this. At 16.5, the cat may actually be in a way lucky to have contracted the cancer because you can make the decision to put her down without her going through the more protracted decline that would be associated with aging. If she isn't already having it, she will have incontinence problems, she will have arthritis, she could wind up with tumors that are relatively benign but affect her ability to do umpteen things like walk, she could easily start going blind, have balance issues, in short, by the time you would decide to put her down in that situation because you would not really see her suffering from the small changes on a weekly or monthly basis, she would be in pretty bad shape, through no fault of your own.
You also have to remember that it is not the phone call that will end her life it is you ending her suffering because you love her, there is a big difference; again keeping her around is just selfish and fairly heartless. The last dog I had to put down was old, she was having numerous health issues, including incontinence and arthritis that you could already see at 11 was painful, and she continuously attacked the other dog I had gotten a year before to soften the blow for my kids when we inevitably put this one down. She had also gotten grumpy enough that I did not trust her around the kids anymore when previously I would never have questioned their safety around the dog. We live two blocks from the vet so I often walk the dogs there instead of driving and as old, decrepit barely able to walk dogs sometimes do, she had that spring in her step, was shaking her little rear like, whoohoo, and I felt like the SS walking her to the gas chamber. Hell, the gradeschool janitor even spotted us during his lunch hour so I felt like my heinous act was even a public one.
Your cat has lived a very long fulfilling life making you happy, comforting you when you were sad, and she would not want you to feel guilty for putting her down or to be sad that she is gone. You have to remember that the main reason that her life has been so happy was you. You have given her just as much as she has you. She has loved playing with you, the way you have taken care of her, everything about you two has enhanced her life. Try to remember those things instead of what is coming because even if you get the call that the tests were negative, you are realistically going to have to consider this decision at some point in the next few years. Cats can live beyond 25 but those cases are fairly unusual and really, it doesn't matter when this happens, no matter how old you get, it is still going to totally suck.
When my grandmother passed at 95 I sat crying at the memorial service and thought, what would I want to change? She had lived a very good long life until she had the first stroke at 94, she had steadily declined until she was asking to be unplugged when she wasn't on any kind of life support. I had prayed for God to let her go instead of deteriorate. So I didn't want her alive and why was I crying, for myself? She was a wonderful woman, truly knew the meaning of unconditional love, and I want that saint to come back and suffer some more because I want my grandma? I was around your age, and I was around 35 when my father died. Death doesn't get easier with age or experience. The only alternative you have to putting her down if it is cancer is having her remain around when she feels awful and has no quality of life. You love her too much for that so all you can do is suck it up and remember that this is just one of the sucky parts of life that helps us to appreciate our blessings.
You cannot replace a person or a pet but I hope that after you grieve this loss you get another kitten because it sounds like you were a wonderful human companion to this creature and there are so many that are unwanted and without homes because of the tards that cannot spay and neuter. Your cat would want another one to live the wonderful life that she knew. You might even think about, if you don't already have one, getting another cat even if this is a false alarm. You can't be with your cat all of the time and I saw with my dog that companionship makes a difference and also makes it easier if you lose the elder animal. As mean as my old dog had been to her the baby dinosaur on my profile was frigging depressed after I put that dog down. One of my sons wound up finding a blue heeler in the median and brought her home. It was like watching some ancient thing return to puppy state. The dog is much happier and there is no doubt in my mind that she will live longer as in addition to the blue heeler that is finally totally out of puppy stage we have a new 8-week-old white ball of fur, whoohoo, not, OK so the kids wanting to ditch me with the puppy is getting to me, sigh but she is so cute, and sweet. At least kittens do not destroy.... | |
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| Broken heart? Yeah, I'm in the right forum
Posted: 8/9/2008 8:42:25 AM | Underdog, you have my deepest sympathy for what you are going through. Three years ago after coming home from work, my best friend, my cat Cuddles threw a clot - had a stroke. I took her to the vet who told me she had suffered neurological damage and I had two choices. I could pay thousands of dollars to make her life comfortable or I could show her how much I love her by putting her out of her misery. That was my option. I decided to put her to sleep, a decision which nearly killed me as well as she was my baby for 18.5 years. To this day I still miss her and I know it sounds morbid but I have her remains. In the meantime, I have adopted two new little ones Abby & Evie as seen on my profile and they make my life enjoyable everyday.
I wish you all the best, but sometimes this is also meant as another lesson to be learned in life.
Hugs | |
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| Broken heart? Yeah, I'm in the right forum
Posted: 8/9/2008 11:13:29 PM | Your feelings are very understandable. Your pet has been a member of the family for better than 3/4 of your life. It has lived a long, vibrant, and loved life! It has been done right by your family, which is very honorable and noble. You must continue to do right by your pet, even when it seems like the hardest thing to do. I don't advocate putting a pet down, unless it's remaining life is filled with nothing but pain and dicomfort.
I think that it's a family decision, in conjuction with advice from your vet. But, i'm sure that you have many fond memories to cherish. I wish you the best. | |
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| Broken heart? Yeah, I'm in the right forum
Posted: 8/10/2008 9:38:58 AM | | I lost a cat when he was 16 so I understand. All you can do is remember the positive impact you had on one anothers lives. You gave a loving animal a good loving home for its enitire life. What a wonderful thing to do. | |
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| Broken heart? Yeah, I'm in the right forum
Posted: 8/10/2008 12:56:59 PM | Thank you for the kind words everyone.
I've heard people tell me that I'm a bad person for even thinking about putting her to sleep.
The appointment is going to happen sometime in the next week.
Again, I want to thank you for all your kind words.
My baby will always be my baby no matter how old I get.
You can't forget a face like hers.. hehe. | |
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| Broken heart? Yeah, I'm in the right forum
Posted: 8/10/2008 3:27:57 PM | It's called life. There is no magic statement or great idea that is going to take the pain away from something you love.
I've put down 8 animals in my life and it's very difficult. But the pain goes away and the memory of the fun times live on. No animal or human wants to be remembered with sorrow, anger and pain.
This is not going to be your first loss. Again, its how you take loss that shows what type of person you are. Good luck, and I'm very sorry for your cat's illness. | |
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| Broken heart? Yeah, I'm in the right forum
Posted: 8/17/2008 8:08:57 PM | As of Saturday August 16th, my baby girl is finally at peace.
I knew she was nearing the end awhile ago but I guess I just refused to put her down until I had confirmation from the vet.
And the cancer was it.
But what gets to me the most about yesterday is the VET and how he was a complete disrespectful a#$@*&^.
Anyway, I wanted to come back and thank you all for the kind words. They really helped me come to terms with it :) | |
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| Broken heart? Yeah, I'm in the right forum
Posted: 8/17/2008 8:18:04 PM | I had a cat that I still miss to this day, and it was 13 years ago. I KNEW she loved me. But I had to have her put to sleep due to cat leukemia. One of the hardest things I had ever done. But it was worse watching her waste away not eating, drinking, or moving from the chair.
The only thing I regret is not staying with her while she passed. I should have been the last one she seen instead of some stranger. I could still kick myslef over that.
Anyway, there really is no advise I can give you. All you can do it go through the pain and know that as time passes it gets better. I got another cat soon after, not to replace her but to help ease the pain. To this day I have never felt the same about another cat.
But if you think you can handle it you might want to see if you can stay with her while she is put down, if it comes to that. I hope not. | |
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| Broken heart? Yeah, I'm in the right forum
Posted: 8/17/2008 8:56:26 PM | I am so sorry. We had to put my three cats down a few years ago, all within months of each other. It is like losing a family memer.
We had them cremated and have all their ashes in pretty little tins. | |
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