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 stompjr
Joined: 5/21/2008
Msg: 1
Sex Addict?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I recently spoke to an ex- classmate of mine following a 3 year hiatus. In high school she and I had a very healthy sex life. Now that we've become older, I've calmed down and she has gone buck-****in' wild. At present time she stated she's slept with over 40 men,and I took her viginity. Now, she says she's " addicted to sex ". Is this legit? or is it being a slut? I to love sex but I do not sleep with random people just because I'm horny.


Thoughts Anyone?
 talktalkchat
Joined: 8/5/2008
Msg: 2
Sex Addict?
Posted: 8/14/2008 1:40:07 AM
If it were a male displaying this behavior, no one would ask if he were being a "slut". Also, why do you care? Are you worried that she will not be practicing safe sex or are you wanting to be with her?
 xdiamondxgirlx
Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 3
Sex Addict?
Posted: 8/14/2008 1:42:55 AM
She could genuinely be a nymphomaniac (Excessive sexual desires), or she may well just enjoy sleeping around.
Unfortunately there isn't really a way to tell, not as far as I know anyway. I'm no medical expert.

I wouldn't worry yourself about it, she'll do whatever she pleases regardless.

DG
 stompjr
Joined: 5/21/2008
Msg: 4
Sex Addict?
Posted: 8/14/2008 1:52:17 AM
I care because I don't want to see a friend of mine end up getting a STD or attracting HIV. No, i dont want to be with her as we've tried that and it doesn't work.
 Muffinfoot
Joined: 8/5/2006
Msg: 5
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Sex Addict?
Posted: 8/14/2008 2:19:22 AM
When a young girl is whoring it up it's usually not because she's addicted to sex, it's often a symptom of bigger problem like low sense of self esteem/self worth. She probably likes the attention. If she's not protecting herself, she can't think too much of herself.
 windloverr
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 6
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Sex Addict?
Posted: 8/14/2008 3:22:01 AM
To answer your question: Yes, you can be addicted to sex; and yes, it can ruin your life as easily as any other addiction. You will get a lot better information if you will Google it, as opposed to listening to the opinions of people who are neither educated on the subject; nor interested in the health or your friend.

Forums are great places to get opinions; or to tips and techniques. They are not a good place to get factual information.

The behavior of sex addicts is comparable to behavior of alcoholics and [drug] addicts, where sex functions like a drug. A common definition of alcoholism is that a person has a pathological relationship with this mood altering drug.[3] It provides a quick mood change, works every time and the user loses control over their compulsion.[4] Like alcoholics, sex addicts' lives rotate around the constant desire for their "drug" of choice.

The Mayo Clinic uses compulsive sexual behavior for sexual addiction, and identifies characteristics of the sex addict as "an overwhelming need for sex and are so intensely preoccupied with this need that it interferes with your job and your relationships. [...] You may spend inordinate amounts of time in sexually related activities and neglect important aspects of your day-to-day life in social, occupational and recreational areas. You may find yourself failing repeatedly at attempts to reduce or control your sexual activities or desires."[5]
According to Counseling Affiliates, an addiction is at work when sex becomes shameful, secret, or abusive.
The Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health further illustrates addiction by outlining several key components: "Compulsivity, that is, loss of the ability to choose freely whether to stop or to continue; Continuation of the behavior despite adverse consequences, such as loss of health, job, marriage, or freedom; Obsession with the activity."
 Blondecharmthe3rd
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 7
Sex Addict?
Posted: 8/14/2008 5:34:11 AM
First of all numbers mean squat. Addicted implies she cannot go without. I would say that I am a big fan, a slut, or just sexually driven... not really addicted.

And what does it matter in the scheme of things, are you dating her again??? If it doesn't directly impact you, why judge. And if it does bother you, just tell her that and move along.
 MMORPGRTSFPS
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 8
Sex Addict?
Posted: 8/14/2008 5:53:24 AM

When a young girl is whoring it up it's usually not because she's addicted to sex, it's often a symptom of bigger problem like low sense of self esteem/self worth. She probably likes the attention. If she's not protecting herself, she can't think too much of herself.


This can be very true. She could also have other things, like being bi-polar. Or, maybe she just likes sex with lots of variety. Who knows, not really your business.

An addiction though is something that controls your life and that you pursue even as it destroys the rest of your life. Your job, your family, your relationships, none of that matters, just your addiction.
So unless she's destroying her life, she's not an addict.
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 9
Sex Addict?
Posted: 8/14/2008 6:37:36 AM
while sex can be an addiction ...unlike drugs and alcohol addicts can and do many times loose their addiction ...at different stages in their life ...I know this because I was a sex addict at one point in my life ....i simply could not turn down sex,it ruled my life ..and every act was a means to get laid ....it ruined relationships.jobs and life in general ...my only claim to self pride was my sexual conquest I know and accept that i was addicted ....but a series of let downs and scares coupled with some great people in my life enabled me to break the sex addiction ...and move on ...yes sex addiction is real ..but much more curable than other dependencies...but like other vices you have to admit your addicted and realize that if you dont stop it is going to kill you ...and kill you it will ..I was to the point I would go after a mans wife if i thought i could get it ...(and most sex addicts will know within a few minutes after they meet a woman ,if she will put out) ..knowing he would find out ...and yes i have been shot at ...but the good news is that morals will return ...a conscience is regenerate able..and self respect can be rebuilt ..now my past memories are abstract ..I know in my mind that I did those things ..but I know in my heart that I am no longer that person ..I have been free of this addiction for better than 25 years ..sex is a different animal now ..but from my past I have compassion for people who abuse sex ...for I know many of them cannot control themselves
 Droleci
Joined: 4/21/2004
Msg: 10
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Sex Addict?
Posted: 8/14/2008 6:53:55 AM

i simply could not turn down sex



and most sex addicts will know within a few minutes after they meet a woman ,if she will put out


Our lives are ridiculouly different.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 11
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Sex Addict?
Posted: 8/14/2008 6:59:03 AM

I to love sex but I do not sleep with random people just because I'm horny.


That's the difference between you and someone who's an addict tho. I'm not saying she is... that's for the professionals to decide. I was going to see if I could find a short list of symptoms.. just hit Wikipedia, sexual addiction... I think Windlover quoted a bit from there already actually.

I'm like you... I love sex, and while I was younger I was much more liberal about my activities. Does not mean I slept with dozens of partners. Once I settled down with my ex, things changed, but didn't change. The focus then became sex with him.. and lots of it!! I've been single nearly 4 yrs, and while the libido is still high I prefer to deal with it on my own rather then seek out *help*.

Just make sure your friend has enough common sense to use protection EVERY time, and encourage her to get tested frequently. Other then that.. just be a friend to her if you can.
 Pleasurelimits
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 12
Sex Addict?
Posted: 8/14/2008 7:40:53 AM
Anytime someone is classified as addicted you have to understand that the addiction takes over their lives, they live for it, steal to support it, it affects their daily lives and family relationships, so be a bit careful before categorizing in this manner. Maybe she just loves sex and maybe she was trying to shock you a bit, in contemporary society many girls and women feel released regarding their sexuality and feel free to just do what they enjoy. It is not too many years ago that if a girl admitted to masturbating she would be an outcast. It is for this reason that some African cultures destroy or remove a womans clitoris as this is seen as the evil thing that drives women to promiscuity. No accounting for the lack of intelligence in some people and cultures, or in fact society at large. Just be her friend, not a big ask surely
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 13
Sex Addict?
Posted: 8/14/2008 7:43:34 AM

Our lives are ridiculouly different.


if you are talking about my present life ..im not to sure ..if you are talking about my life when i was your age ..be thankful

when I was your age i had slept with enough women to rival a rock star ..life was about sex ...and sex was empty ...just a notch on the bed post ...it is when i was around your age that i turned my life around ..then i started really living...

young people that wish for sexual savvy dont know what they are asking for ....IT IS A CURSE
 Droleci
Joined: 4/21/2004
Msg: 14
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Sex Addict?
Posted: 8/14/2008 9:37:38 AM

young people that wish for sexual savvy dont know what they are asking for ....IT IS A CURSE


Ya... I don't really wish that I could have empty meaningless sex with 100 of women.

Just one that wanted me A LOT would be plenty fine.

I think the envy for me is just being desired in that way. I'm not and never have been. The few women that have been intimate with me - I've got the sense or they latter told me - that it was out of pity or cause I was available.

I've not yet had sex with someone that truly made me feel desirable. And that's what I'd like.
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 15
Sex Addict?
Posted: 8/14/2008 10:22:44 AM


I've not yet had sex with someone that truly made me feel desirable. And that's what I'd like.


well im not sure what your problem might be ...i do know that the harder you chase something seams the harder it is to get it

I know in my life from puberty till late teens i was an outcast ...a nerd ...shy and reserved ...then as the result of being publicly humiliated by a girl that I had a crush on ..i was devastated and then depressed then pissed ..and decided that i did not care what people thought i was going to be out going and**** ..it took some time but it worked ..I became popular ..and immediately went to the other extreme ..i became a player a sex addict..and womanizer and between 18 and thirty i lost count of the women i had slept with then i got married but couldnt stop chasing women ...cheated and was cheated on and got divorce then through a lot of factors i was forced to take a look at my self ..i didnt like what i saw and decided I was going to again change before it killed me ...now at 52 I think im pretty normal ..monogamous and happy ..but with the understanding of the problems a lot of people on both extremes have with sex
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 16
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Sex Addict?
Posted: 8/14/2008 10:33:41 AM

And what does it matter in the scheme of things, are you dating her again??? If it doesn't directly impact you, why judge. And if it does bother you, just tell her that and move along.

It might be that he wants to help if she has a problem. If someone you know has a problem, wouldn't you want to help?
It's funny, if we were talking about an addiction to drugs, booze or gambling, people would be offering counselling, advice and help.
If it's sex, then it's a totally different story?
 Leeanne
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 17
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Sex Addict?
Posted: 8/14/2008 12:01:46 PM
Like any other addiction - if her behaviour becomes the central part of her life and begins to affect her friendships - family life and work behaviour - she should seek help!
 wondering1980
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 18
Sex Addict?
Posted: 8/14/2008 12:28:00 PM
well all you can do is tell her your concerns and if she doesn't change then let her do what she likes....but she probable won't be taken seriously by guys she meets due to her addiction....i never take anyone seriously who has a high drive cause it doesn't say much about there personality
 who8kev
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 19
Sex Addict?
Posted: 8/14/2008 5:18:41 PM
To further your views Leeanne,
There seems a contemporary attitude in society, that for some reason, favors ideals of libertarianism. We've fostered and nurtured it with literature; sociologically, it's seens as a valid philosophy of life...people strive for it, idealize it, and some vainly try to what they view of an independent life. With a mind, mapped to hold such views; what would be wrong with seeking out -say sex with 2 different men on the same day.. That may be a stretch to consider for many of us but not for someone addicted to sex, with liberal views of the landscape.. I hear it argued... -you've got to follow your heart... no one's gonna tell me what the f**k to do... et all...

Thing is...that most probably would be ok...if we were some lab experiment somewhere, having no biological parents or siblings, no husband or wife.. and lived on a deserted desert island.. but we don't. We're immersed within the society we are...and there are mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, and husbands, and wives with whom we have to do.. So what we do matters! The idea that freedom is our's to choose, is essentially a myth. Of course, I'm not against anyone who strives to follow their dreams but giving license to any notion we may feel we have...comes with te price of alienation from family and loved ones and often ends in societal marginalization.

I knew a woman once, who was addicted to sex and possessed a strong libertarian mindset. The outcomes were not very pretty and still, personally, leave me confused and often overly empathetic towards her... Yes, sexual addiction is not at all unlike any other but the line between sexual addiction and a mind that's mapped towards furthering their own individualism above any value, precept, or familial or societal constraint, -that line seems a very blurry one...

I'm no communitarian.... and I've no rant against liberty or individualism but we've crossed boundaries in the way we see things now....and we do to our own peril.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 20
Sex Addict?
Posted: 8/14/2008 5:43:23 PM
I don't think she's a necessarily a sex addict. There's a difference between someone's who is addicted to sex and someone who's addicted to sex (or validated attention) with a variety of different people. The first merely means stuck-in-high-sex-drive-mode-non-stop. The latter could mean she's addicted to the attention of multiple people, and obviously sex is obviously the home-run ball of attention.

The latter causes more problems for them personally, but I wouldn't think it'd stand in the way of a relationship because they wouldn't really have one (could prevent some potentially fruitful ones though, of course). Someone merely addicted to sex could get in the way of a relationship, due to the other person not "putting out enough", and they'd be more likely to cheat if the sex went downhill for a while in the relationship.

You can't really control her psychological mode, carelessness, or sex drive. The only thing you can do is warn her of the trouble she's getting herself into, and virtually all guys don't think that's cool if a gal is like that as a lifestyle. One would assume that it'd just be a short-term phase right after a breakup or divorce... but if she's taken it on as a lifestyle for a long time, she needs something bad to happen to stop her, I'd imagine -- not after-school-special announcements. :)
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 21
Sex Addict?
Posted: 8/28/2008 12:46:20 PM
In today's world how pathetic; lets face it, it's very in to be a slut; (male or female). They are like dogs in heat that want to get off. Not my thing.

It doesn't matter what you think; you can't control her actions. Let it go.
 ready ed
Joined: 11/19/2007
Msg: 22
Sex Addict?
Posted: 8/28/2008 1:47:45 PM
what if your addicted to your hand? does that go hand and hand?
 Dr.Manhattan
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 23
Sex Addict?
Posted: 8/28/2008 2:22:07 PM
Now, she says she's " addicted to sex ". Is this legit?


there may be other issues at work here?? how is her relationship with her Father?

she may be suffering from abandonment issues.


on another note I think it's very cheesy and uncooth to spill your x's private bussiness all over the internet so others can take pot shots at her about her private activities just to make themselves feel better bout themselves.
 blondi75
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 24
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Sex Addict?
Posted: 8/28/2008 2:32:36 PM
OMG that is just crazy!! Tell her to stop sleeping around with every Tom,****and Harry. She needs to find a boy toy and stop sleeping around with every one. That is just way to scary for me but I’m a very responsible person and have respect for my self.
 memyselfandus
Joined: 6/18/2008
Msg: 25
Sex Addict?
Posted: 8/28/2008 4:31:23 PM

but I’m a very responsible person and have respect for my self


Yes I knew that right away when I looked at your pics of your boobies.

POT KETTLE BLACK
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