| The "smoking" question on the profile
Posted: 6/12/2005 4:32:46 PM | Isn't the answer to "Do you smoke?" Why is there "often" and "occasionally" in there? You either smoke or you don't. For someone who is an adamant anti-smoking person like myself it doesn't matter that you are going to smell my car or house up only a little bit.
I don't have the right to tell anybody they can or can't smoke. That's their decision and as an adult I will respect their decision. However, what IS under my control is who I go out with. And I shy away from smokers.
I look at this much in the same way I would respond to an answer of "I only get drunk and puke on the floor occasionally". Occasionally doesn't make it more acceptable.
Does anybody else have an opinion on this?
This one ought to stir things up.
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| The smoking question on the profile
Posted: 6/12/2005 7:16:49 PM | I missed some key text when I wrote that.
sn't the answer to "Do you smoke?" simply yes or no? Either you smoke or you don't. Why is there "often" and "occasionally" in there? You either smoke or you don't. For someone who is an adamant anti-smoking person like myself it doesn't matter that you are going to smell my car or house up only a little bit.
I don't have the right to tell anybody they can or can't smoke. That's their decision and as an adult I will respect their decision. However, what IS under my control is who I go out with. And I shy away from smokers.
I look at this much in the same way I would respond to an answer of "I only get drunk and puke on the floor occasionally". Occasionally doesn't make it more acceptable.
Does anybody else have an opinion on this?
This one ought to stir things up.
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| The smoking question on the profile
Posted: 6/13/2005 7:20:05 AM | I can't stand the smell of smoke or the smell of a smoker.
I smoked for more than 20 years. I never knew just how bad I smelled. I really thought that the non-smokers were all just being jerks about the smell.... I couldn't smell it at all.
Now, I am a bit more understanding with smokers. I know they don't know how bad it all smells.
I still don't know how to make a smoker believe it though.
If there is a smoker in my presence... I tell them as nicely as I can.. you cannot smoke in my car, you cannot smoke in my house, you cannot smoke up wind of me.
So, I guess you can figure out I don't spend time with smokers... they don't want to be around me cause they can't smoke. | |
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| The smoking question on the profile
Posted: 6/13/2005 11:32:35 AM | Occasional smokers do exist, ie 'social smokers' who only do so when they are out socialising. Very few and far between though, I did it for a long time, now I'm right back to tobacco plantation proportions a day 
I'll give up again soon, it's that easy (really!) | |
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| smoking question on profiles
Posted: 6/13/2005 9:37:55 PM | } You either smoke or you don't.
The distinction was once lost on me, who has always had low tolerance for smokers' exhaust. (Even a smoker driving in front of me on local roads manages to pass back sickly fumes. Almost wish I was not so sensitive. Ah, well.) Well, a few years ago a lovely girl from Turkey gave me her view that Americans "don't know how to smoke", or drink alcohol for that matter.
She referred to a difference between excess and restraint. Unrefined Yanks don't know when to stop; the more enlightened user absorbs the initial pleasure, permits mood to be altered, and jumps the heck off before it turns into a binge. That was her take, anyway. | |
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| The smoking question on the profile
Posted: 6/15/2005 12:55:29 AM | | I answer "occasionally" even though I don't like it, because I smoke cigars. One site I'm on has "Cigar Officianado" as a choice. Unlike cigarette smokers, who usually are smoking every half hour or more throughout the day, I usually only smoke once a day, after the evening meal, and then usually outdoors. Some woman like the smell of a cigar, or at least are not as offended as they are by cigarettes. I don't like cigarette smoke myself. I suspect that the "occassionally" answer includes both those that smoke "only when they drink", as my ex used to do, and us cigar officianados. Hence the answer to your question. I used to think the answer to this question was "yes or no" too, but I suppose it's like anything else. Do you watch T.V.? Yes or No? Does a yes answer mean the same for a couch potato who watches 10-12 hours plus a day as it does for someone who watches 3-4 hours a week? If you are offended by smokers, but looking for someone, perhaps youshould probe the "occasionally's to see what they mean. Could be they smoke pipes, cigars or are the type of people who know they offend others and limit their smoking to certain times of the day or only when they are outdoors or in the presence of other smokers. Don't be so quick to judge. You might eliminate a whole population of prospective good catches! | |
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| The smoking question on the profile
Posted: 6/15/2005 3:26:54 PM | | all smoking is extremely unhealthy, pointless and, in women, a turn-off Why on earth would someone pay inordinate amounts of money to inhale burning chemicals that are well known to cause, among other things, cancer and death???? The debate continues... | |
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| The smoking question on the profile
Posted: 6/16/2005 9:15:21 PM | | Didnt think it matter that I smoke when I drink....Never liked the taste of liqour so why no mix it??? also it keeps my hands busy...good excuse eh?...I dont smoke in my house, car or around non-smokers.....So when I DO smoke its my problem...Dont make it yours... | |
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| The smoking question on the profile
Posted: 6/17/2005 7:54:01 AM | The original question was "Shouldn't the choices be either YES or NO". Either people smoke or they don't. What makes the distinction between occasionally and often? The responder who said "occasioanally" because he enjoys one cigar after dinner doesn't smell any less from smoke than someone who inhales all day. The smell stays with you for hours.
It is only my preference to not date women who smoke because I don't want to be around it. Even is she refrains from smoking in my house and car, the smell is on her breath, hair and clothes. I find it offensive and choose to not be around it. I have also been taken to task about that in the past.
I am a non-smoker to the point of ardent, and almost militant. I believe that people who strap an infant into a car seat and then drive around making that infant inhale smoke should be charged with child abuse. It's their car, their kid, their everything, but I view forcing that shild to inhale smoke the same way I view beating the child with a belt. A little restraint and selflessness and it wouldn't happen. If you cannot refrain from damaging your child's lungs for the duration of a car ride, you need help.
I once invited a woman who smoked to visit me. She said she would not because I asked that she not smoke in there. I lived in a high rise then (11th floor) and she would not take that stuff outside. At that point, I interpreted that as choosing lung cancer over me, and never saw her again.
So as far as it being your problem, no, if you are in my life it's mine too. | |
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| The smoking question on the profile
Posted: 6/19/2005 8:07:34 AM | } What makes the distinction between occasionally and often?
That has already been addressed. Smoking is progressing into a social taboo, at least in public, and no one here (thus far) is claiming this to be the finest of habits. Yes, smoker exhaust does not recognize "personal space" or any other boundaries other than an airtight room, but we must be careful not to demonize its sources.
As to dating site filters, I would rather have more detail than less. You cannot expect a lengthy qualifier after each checkbox or menu selection ("I smoke, but this and that and so on .....") and still have efficient design. If your tolerance for smoke is zero, than simply avoid anyone who fails to answer as a firm nonsmoker. Otherwise, be prepared to do something proactive, like _communicating_ with your prospect and see if arrangements could be made to respect your air-breathing preferences. | |
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| The smoking question on the profile
Posted: 6/19/2005 12:10:29 PM | In all seriousness smokers here it is, your answer to that pesky girlfirend or boyfriends continual nagging. (pics and references to purchasing avaliable upon request)
Using the latest Nicological technology, the Nicosphere 3000 offers a discreet smoking environment for its user.
The system has six smoking programmes, all designed to fit your busy lifestyle and has been ergonomically designed to fit either the male or female torso.
Unlike other systems, there’s no need to envelop your whole body; the Nicosphere helmet simply covers your head.
Use your imagination...a plastic bag is NOT a good idea, I repeat NOT A GOOD IDEA!~
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| The smoking question on the profile
Posted: 7/31/2005 12:31:37 PM | What I don't understand is why someone would "Prefer not to say" on the smoking question. I understand it on the drugs question but I take it that you most likely do smoke just as you most likely do drugs if you prefer not to say.
Why don't you smokers 'fess up to it? Isn't this being a bit deceptive? And its not like the rest of the profile is blank or they have prefer not to say on the other options. There are some that just put it on the smoking option. Weird. | |
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Sorry but that just kinda struck me funny. 
