| The abscence of love is the most abject pain
Posted: 8/19/2008 3:06:30 PM | ''The absence of love is the most abject pain''
Nosferatu.
Even though it was said by a vampire, would you agree.?
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| The absence of love is the most abject pain
Posted: 8/19/2008 3:12:01 PM | I think it depends on what you define as love.
Personally, while I believe I have loved a few times, it is only the absence of one woman in my whole life that ever brings painful memories. She was not perfect, we may have not been in love, but she was the truest reflection of me in female form I have ever known, she was the most like me of all my lovers.
I think it's this absence of reflection that hurts the most in life. The thought that someone you believed to be like you couldn't live with you, it's a sobering thought.
Not very cheerful though is it? | |
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| The absence of love is the most abject pain
Posted: 8/19/2008 4:31:50 PM |
I think it's this absence of reflection that hurts the most in life. The thought that someone you believed to be like you couldn't live with you, it's a sobering thought.
I have found that when one finds the partner that is so much like them in every way it is difficult to live with - think about it - u both are so alike - most couples cant be in each others space 24/7 and if you both are so alike how frustrating would that be in a logical world. We all need our time apart sometimes - now yes she could have been your soulmate if you can talk spiritually but then again I do believe that some soulmates are not meant to be physically together in this lifetime but maybe just enter the other persons life to help them in some way - i personally strongly feel things happen for reasons and we meet ppl in our lives for reasons/lessons. But my opinion to the original question is yes love sometimes causes so much pain but then again maybe sometimes we need to feel that pain to find our inner selves again.... maybe I am too deep with this lol | |
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| The abscence of love is the most abject pain
Posted: 8/19/2008 4:40:12 PM | | The absence of love doesn't hurt. It is when that love is one sided that it hurts. When you love someone but they do not love you back, or even when someone loves you, but you do not (or can not) love them back. That is what hurts. | |
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| The absence of love is the most abject pain
Posted: 8/19/2008 4:41:00 PM | | hmm id rather have no love for a year then go without beer for a year an watch the villa. what a challenge that would be ... the perfect woman for a year or free beer/villa to win the prem? both very unlikely lmao | |
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| The absence of love is the most abject pain
Posted: 8/19/2008 4:52:28 PM | Princess, I think your view on that is an optimistic one, and it's one I share.
Ultimately, how we process events in our minds is perhaps what defines us, and I agree that anyone that really touches you, however fleeting it may be, must have happened for a reason.
After all, we all only have to find the perfect person once right? (untimely deaths notwithstanding) | |
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| The absence of love is the most abject pain
Posted: 8/19/2008 4:52:29 PM | There is no absence of love.. the only problem is that we sometimes give to much to individuals instead of giving it to the world itself.. the world needs love more than the individuals do 
Spreading positivity and good mood around is a form of giving love to the world  | |
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| The abscence of love is the most abject pain
Posted: 8/19/2008 11:49:32 PM | | Yes!Can you imagine living your life with no love in it.I,m not just talking about the love of that one special person but the love of family,of friends.Do you not think that love in general makes our lives so much richer?While i would love to have the love of that special someone,just knowing i have love from those around me anyway means a great deal.Even vampires deserve love. | |
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| The abscence of love is the most abject pain
Posted: 8/20/2008 8:45:26 AM | in my experience its the presence of love that causes the pain, so i dont think i do agree.
to be unloved or to never feel love would be a cold cold cold feeling....
i would rather have the pain. | |
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| The abscence of love is the most abject pain
Posted: 8/20/2008 10:14:04 AM | Yes ..without love what is the point ?be it love of mother father friend lover etc,
Love can be reason for work,the reason to stop work the reason to carry on in this grey and dismal world. After all there are many forms of love. | |
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| The abscence of love is the most abject pain
Posted: 8/20/2008 1:42:10 PM | \\Yes!Can you imagine living your life with no love in it.I,m not just talking about the love of that one special person but the love of family,of friends.Do you not think that love in general makes our lives so much richer?While i would love to have the love of that special someone,just knowing i have love from those around me anyway means a great deal.Even vampires deserve love//
I like this.. | |
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| The abscence of love is the most abject pain
Posted: 8/20/2008 2:04:59 PM | Its the old saying better to have loved and lost then to have loved at all.
Sometimes i disagree with that. When im alone and all my friends are in relationships I find myself thinking of everyone ive loved and how it all went wrong and the pain that followed. Sometimes i would give up all the good memories just to take the pain of loss away but then i would not be the person iam today if i did not have the good and bad times | |
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| The abscence of love is the most abject pain
Posted: 8/20/2008 2:20:51 PM | Love and pain (emotional pain rather than physical pain) are like Ying and Yan; they co-exist, hence the sayings such as "it's a fine line between love and hate" etc. The deepest of loves are the ones which hurt the most when they are over.
So I would tend to agree with the vampire; I know that when the man whom I loved to the core told me that he didn't love me anymore, well it hurt me more than anything else ever has. | |
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| The abscence of love is the most abject pain
Posted: 8/20/2008 2:28:19 PM | But sometimes the abscence of love can help you become a whole lot stronger in so many ways.
Being self sufficient emotionally is not a bad place to start a new relationship from.
Me thinks. | |
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| The abscence of love is the most abject pain
Posted: 8/20/2008 3:12:43 PM | ^^^^^^ I agree, I never knew how strong I was until I split from myex; if I'd have been asked how I would cope without him a few years back, I'd have said that I wouldn't be able to cope. BUT I have ! More than that I have achieved much more than I ever dreamed I would since becoming single.
VVVV Glad to hear that BUT ... if a choice was possible, I would give up everthing I have in my life (except my family) to have his love again ... sad eh?
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| The abscence of love is the most abject pain
Posted: 8/20/2008 3:18:32 PM | \ \ ^^^^^^ I agree, I never knew how strong I was until I split from myex; if I'd have been asked how I would cope without him a few years back, I'd have said that I wouldn't be able to cope. BUT I have ! More than that I have achieved much more than I ever dreamed I would since becoming single.//
My last breakup gave me the impetus to actually begin what i had only dreamt of doing before, so its not all bad. | |
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| The abscence of love is the most abject pain
Posted: 8/20/2008 4:30:35 PM | Love, as beautiful as it is can be the most vicious of creatures, with it you feel at ease, at one with someone else, until it is taken away from you, then as nature sets its way you become black with hate from the pain it causes.
We come to realise that living without that special someone is very possible, a life can be had without them and indeed, it does go on. You become stronger as a person within yourself, learning from errors or mistakes made, but nothing can take away the feelings of how you feel at that moment when its all over, the empty void that is left, the constant buzzing sound in your ears as your brain spins out of control, any thoughts you have about the simplest of things are overtaken by him or her.
The metaphysical boot up the backside normally does the trick and you get back on track, but nothing, nothing exists that can rival the pain endured by a simple four letter word that is, love. | |
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| The abscence of love is the most abject pain
Posted: 8/20/2008 4:39:37 PM | The deepest of loves are the ones which hurt the most when they are over.
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But sometimes the abscence of love can help you become a whole lot stronger in so many ways.
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So very true, its the abscence of love after having loved ( & been loved ) so deeply that is so difficult to cope with. It must be experienced to fully understand the devestation one feels ; merely thinking , reading or imagining about it doesnt come close. But as was said on here earlier , it may well be that everything happens for a reason & its all part of some crazy plan/trick of fate ? But pain & suffering does give you a chance to grow & learn , sadly in times like that some resort to suicide. Anyone can feel like that believe me, i know . But my favourite saying has always been ..." What doesnt kill me makes me stronger " ( anybody wanna try arm wrestlig ?) Its not how we go down that counts , its how we get back up . We never stop learning .
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