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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Do attractive people have more trouble being monogamous?      Home login  
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 desert wildflower
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 1
Do attractive people have more trouble being monogamous?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I was just wondering if the people here thought there was a correlation between poeple who really attract the opposite sex a lot, opportunities all of the time, lots of interest in them etc. and being able to stay in a monogamous relationship? I`m not just talking physical attraction, I mean that dramatic drawing personality. ( Pleaser types that love making other people feel good)

It seems to me, that people who have that kind of magnetic aura and a strong sexual attraction factor , a charismatic and inviting personality,may have a bit more difficulty staying and working on a LTR. First, they have a lot more temptation and opportunity, because people are approaching them
all of the time. Plus, they may innately know that it is not difficult for them to met possible partners, therefore they aren`t desperate, and may not put the effort into the relationship to make things work when trouble occurs. They know that they won`t be alone unless they want to be.

I would think it is possible for this type of person to stay in a LTR, but they may have to try a bit harder, change their sparkly interactive behavior a bit to not put out the attraction vibes as much. Do you think this is something to consider when choosing to date someone? I mean what usually attracts you is also attracting a lot of other people.
So it might be a bit more to deal with.
 BigDaddyJinx
Joined: 11/4/2006
Msg: 2
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Do attractive people have more trouble being monogamous?
Posted: 8/20/2008 11:05:00 AM
Ok, saw it and HAD to speak up.

You can have a million dollar body/aura but still have a 10 cent brain.

If you are a charismatic/attractive/aura person, and you are in a relationship, you choose to stay in it or choose to indulge with some "strange". It's all about choice.

Just because people attach themselves to you or pursue you, doesn't mean you have to act on it. Nor should one have to "tone it down" so to speak, just to avoid the temptation. It's all gonna end up being their choice if they wanna be monagamous. This applies to the unattractive as well.

Being pretty doesn't mean you can't say "No".
 urinemyway
Joined: 5/4/2008
Msg: 3
Do attractive people have more trouble being monogamous?
Posted: 8/20/2008 11:06:29 AM
How attractive is Bill Clinton?
 Ferruginous
Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 4
Do attractive people have more trouble being monogamous?
Posted: 8/20/2008 11:26:11 AM
I think it has more to do with a person's morals, and their commitment to their partner, than their attractiveness.


If a person is committed to a monogamous relationship, they'll completelty ignore, or not even notice, any opportunities to cheat.
 geeleebee
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 5
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Do attractive people have more trouble being monogamous?
Posted: 8/20/2008 11:28:39 AM
'Attractive' is subjective. Monogamy has more to do with what's on the inside, rather than the outside.
 Beholder123
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 6
Do attractive people have more trouble being monogamous?
Posted: 8/20/2008 11:35:47 AM
I dont think looks has ANYTHING to do with monagamy. I think cheating has to do with self esteem issues, actually.
 isoU
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 7
Do attractive people have more trouble being monogamous?
Posted: 8/20/2008 11:36:34 AM
YES ... good looking ppl DO NOT NEED to be monogamous !!!!!!

They have more opportunity therefor more temptation.

Without a doubt good looking men sleep around more.
 duckling
Joined: 2/28/2006
Msg: 8
Do attractive people have more trouble being monogamous?
Posted: 8/20/2008 11:48:11 AM
I wouldn't know. I was just curious what the attractive people thought (and who thought they're attractive)!
 rune3
Joined: 7/13/2006
Msg: 9
Do attractive people have more trouble being monogamous?
Posted: 8/20/2008 12:12:31 PM
I don't think monogamy is anything to do with how attractive a person might be -- it's a state of being. If you are monogamous only because, due to your ugliness, you haven't "had the opportunity", does that even mean anything. When you're monogamous, there are no opportunities because you don't think in those terms. It doesn't matter whether you are attractive or not.

My special someone is an attractive man. When he was with his ex, she'd complain that women were noticing him or flirting with him. He was oblivious because he is a naturally monogamous person with a mindset that simply just doesn't look for that kind of interaction if he's already with someone. Personally, I'd not be worried in the least about his stopping being monogamous, no matter who was throwing herself at him. Not because I'm spectacular or incredibly secure, but because I know him and I know his attitude.

In my opinion, monogamous-because-no-one-else-was-interested is not true monogamy, it's an involuntary physical restriction: true monogamy is unaffected by "opportunity" because nothing looks like an opportunity -- it's not something that the person wants, therefore, not an opportunity.
 sassyaquarius
Joined: 4/10/2006
Msg: 10
Do attractive people have more trouble being monogamous?
Posted: 8/20/2008 12:29:05 PM
Are you kiddiing me op??

So because a person is seen as attractive to many others.. this must automatically mean that they have no morals?? Like its a big candy store everyday and they have to continually restrain themself from sampling it all?

To correlate appearance with cheating/player behavior is utterly ludicrous... maybe the chance for them to act on it is more prevalent than would be the case with an unattractive person (which is highly subjective anyway), but it is their CHARACTER that counts. Unbelievable.

Also, those with low self esteem who need to look outside of themselves for others to make them feel good.. regardless of their appearance/aura, are most definately the ones to worry about...

*incredulous*
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 11
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Do attractive people have more trouble being monogamous?
Posted: 8/20/2008 12:34:49 PM
I would say monogamy is attached more to self esteem than looks. Ugly people cheat too.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 12
Do attractive people have more trouble being monogamous?
Posted: 8/20/2008 12:35:28 PM
Most attractive women I have gone out with were severely monogamous. Some very attractive guys are just whores, but then what I have seen with others is that they just find some incredibly hot woman and stick together like glue. So it's relative. If anything it is the attractive guys the ones that sleep around more.
 Dean Moriarty
Joined: 2/7/2007
Msg: 13
Do attractive people have more trouble being monogamous?
Posted: 8/20/2008 12:36:24 PM
I'm just glad I am ugly.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 14
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Do attractive people have more trouble being monogamous?
Posted: 8/20/2008 12:40:03 PM
Statistically, attractive people are more likely to cheat, based on research I've read about. The reason is that they are often subjected to more opportunities, advances, and temptations. Psychologically, some (and I believe this applies more to men than women) may feel entitlement, especially if their existing partner is less attractive than themselves.

Research has also shown that if a man is somewhat less attractive than his wife, he is less likely to cheat, tries harder to maintain a good relationship, and that in turn reduces the motivation for his wife to cheat as well! He may feel he has a great catch and may not do as well if he had to find someone else.

Of course, I don't know the sample sizes or methodology of these studies, so they could be full of "it" - but, they also seem to make some "sense."
 Last Chancee
Joined: 8/6/2008
Msg: 15
Do attractive people have more trouble being monogamous?
Posted: 8/20/2008 12:58:04 PM
a wise man said
"if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life don't make a pretty woman your wife so from my personal point of view get an ugly woman to marry you.." by Trini Lopez 1963
 WarmBrandie
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 16
Do attractive people have more trouble being monogamous?
Posted: 8/20/2008 1:04:17 PM
I tend to agree with Zentral. It makes a lot of sense. Although no matter how unattractive someone is, someone will be attracted to them. No one is cheat proof.
 CEO of Hoagie Inc.
Joined: 7/30/2007
Msg: 17
Do attractive people have more trouble being monogamous?
Posted: 8/20/2008 1:14:37 PM
only if they are inherently a whore!
 nigelwright
Joined: 3/24/2007
Msg: 18
Do attractive people have more trouble being monogamous?
Posted: 8/20/2008 1:34:38 PM
I think good looking men have trouble staying with one person.

I have lost count of the females I have talked to who picked up a good looking hunk and he turned out to be a player.
This not just on dating sites but friends too.

My friend picked up a tall dark handsome bloke and after 6 months they m0ved in together. He was there a week and she came home early to find him in bed with one of her mates !
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 19
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Do attractive people have more trouble being monogamous?
Posted: 8/20/2008 1:46:06 PM
No. Cheaters are the people who have trouble being monogamous.
 Beholder123
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 20
Do attractive people have more trouble being monogamous?
Posted: 8/20/2008 2:05:36 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ya think?! LOL!!! I am sorry but that was too funny NOT to say something
 lh90716
Joined: 1/7/2006
Msg: 21
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Do attractive people have more trouble being monogamous?
Posted: 8/20/2008 2:05:55 PM
no i dont think attractive people have a problem with cheating Unattractive as well as attractive people can cheat. Dont play your self and think unattractive people dont cheat. If u that insecure u shouldnt be dating. I dont think attractive people is the problem its u . I like dating attractive people. thats my choice. I also dated unattractive people an found out from the ones that i dated was bisexual, or sleeping around . i also date attractive people who didnt I married an attractive man an is now a widow. I liked waking up to attractiveness. It had no regrets
 Blueeyedbaldman
Joined: 1/4/2008
Msg: 22
Do attractive people have more trouble being monogamous?
Posted: 8/20/2008 2:09:09 PM

I was just wondering if the people here thought there was a correlation between poeple who really attract the opposite sex a lot, opportunities all of the time, lots of interest in them etc. and being able to stay in a monogamous relationship?


Being able to stay in a monogamous relationship has nothing to do with looks. Its about morals.
 good kitty
Joined: 2/21/2008
Msg: 23
Do attractive people have more trouble being monogamous?
Posted: 8/20/2008 2:11:15 PM
OP:
No matter how hot you are, no matter how many opportunities you have, if you are a loyal person, you don't stray.

Period.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 24
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Do attractive people have more trouble being monogamous?
Posted: 8/20/2008 2:12:47 PM
Maybe ugly people cheat to feel attractive?
 good kitty
Joined: 2/21/2008
Msg: 25
Do attractive people have more trouble being monogamous?
Posted: 8/20/2008 2:33:50 PM
Yup. Fugly people cheat to feel better about themselves.
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