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| Independent Women
Posted: 8/22/2008 7:01:35 PM | I don't know about other guys, but when I see a woman use the term "independent" in her profile to describe herself, a red-flag goes up. "Independent" to me can mean that at some point she won't need the man anymore. Then it is easy to toss him out like a worthless shoe.
If you look at divorce statistics, 75 percent of divorces are filed by women. Why? I think it has to do with the above word. Thoughts? I can hear the women now. In fairness, I have had women tell me that women shouldn't be independent.
It is funny that there was a day over 100 years ago when divorce was rare. And women were happy. Of course women didn't work much outside the home then, and they couldn't vote. We have progressed since then.
"Say it ain't so Joe!" | |
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| Independent Women
Posted: 8/22/2008 9:55:19 PM | Firstly, I don't think women filing for divorce has to do with independence. I think it has to do with women marrying total douchebags, and then they realize that the man isn't going to change, finally see the light, and get a divorce. Or it simply has to do with people settling for each other and the woman finally decides enough is enough because the man is too comfortable to do so.
Anyway-
I think divorce is more common now because marriage for one, is way too easy. If they made getting married as big of a pain as getting divorced people like Britney Spears wouldn't be able to get married for 24 hours. Also if you look at 100 years ago, compared to now in terms of religion, people were way more religious and way more against divorces. Now no one gives a crap, and again it's super easy to just go get married again.
I would say I am pretty independant. I can hold my own job, pay my own bills, whatever. But I still like a guy who is mechanically inclined [I just think it's hot he can fix my car for me :p]. I like a guy who can do "manly" things like carry 50lbs bags of feed around like it's nothing. Me calling myself independent just means that I don't have to RELY on anyone to entertain me, pay for me, hold my hand, but doesn't mean that my significant other would be worthless. Being independent doesn't mean you have no need to have a relationship with someone, to be loved, or that you have no desire to hold hands. But it means that I'm not a gold digger, I'm not a free loader, and when we're in a relationship I want to give just as much as you do. | |
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| Independent Women
Posted: 8/23/2008 10:22:47 PM | Yeah, what She said!^^^^^
Dude, you are commiting suicide on this site.
Just thought I'd be nice and let you know. I mean, you're really new....notice the little wording under our pics when we post? One says "view profile" and the other says "view history"....you're in the archives for eternity!!!!! | |
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| Independent Women
Posted: 8/24/2008 8:58:51 AM | I have had a lot of interest from women in the short time I have been on here. Not every woman is young and liberated. There are women that appreciate an intelligent, honest man. After talking to other men, I have learned that it is a rare one that doesn't agree with the red flag bit. Men want and need to feel and be needed. "Independent," intimates (suggests) you don't need others. We all need others, but if the independence means "can" do things and get along on my own, but doesn't mean wants to, not a problem.
Thanks for your feedback, but I think you are only looking at my thread from one perspective.
Take care. | |
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| Independent Women
Posted: 8/24/2008 10:15:09 AM | Well, thanks for explaining yourself a little better.
I have said many times...we DO need each other. We're designed that way.
To many times men assume all women are looking for someone to save them or they hear from "some" men...you aren't capable.
Having raised my son pretty much on my own and having worked ever since I was 18 years old...with the only break being when my son was a baby and when I put myself through college...and having several male partners along the way who seemed unable to get (let alone keep) a job...yeah, I am independent and VERY capable.
Its not the way I wanted it. I would have simply loved to stay home, manage the place, grow a garden, can my own stuff. You know, be the working partner who made the "nest" more than comfortable.
By the way....welcome to the pond! Happy | |
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| Independent Women
Posted: 8/26/2008 7:32:29 PM | | You could be right but in my case it is a need for me to be independent. Trust me somedays I would love to have a guy around to fix things or carry in something from the car. But becoming a divorced single mom trying to finish college and not let things get me down I had to become independent. Yes I filed for divorce. when you have a chesting husband who brings nothing to the family and brings you and your child down it's time to move on. I would have rather been in a string marriage but it didn't work out that way. Some men want a woman who is independent because that can mean that the woman is secure in herself to let him still have a life and an occasional night out with the guys, and can hopefully manage her own bills. Stuff like that. | |
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| Independent Women
Posted: 8/27/2008 6:58:07 AM |
It is funny that there was a day over 100 years ago when divorce was rare. And women were happy. Of course women didn't work much outside the home then, and they couldn't vote.
Alrighty, I'll say it ain't so, Joe!
Certainly SOME women were happy but being a lover of history and hearing people's stories I can in all honest tell you, again, Joe, it ain't so! It wasn't all little house on the prairie, or even further along, leave it to Beaver. At the end of the Victorian Era and into the early Edwardian Era (used to establish your time frame of a hundred years ago, I know your in the US) many women were bloody unhappy but they had no options. Many had no education, most had no money of their own as well so if they had no family to return to or their family wouldn't allow them to return, they had no where to go. Many had children which furthered their lack of options.
Hubby was a drunk? Well, at least he fed you and the kids with some of the money. Hubby cheated? Well, again, still fed you and the kids. Beat the crap out of you and the kids? Have them lay low, keep busy outside, and at least they got to eat while you did your best to get in the way of those fists and whatever objects he used.
On the other hand, think about the lives of the women who were happy but hubby died down the mine, in the field, in the woods, and or became too ill to work. You didn't need any options, happy family, shelter, and now what? Forty five years into a hard scabble life with no education, no money as most people lived pretty much hand to mouth, and babies to care for while you have no way to do it. Many the woman scrubbed floors, took in laundry, took care of other people's homes and families while their own kids worked as mini-slaves as well with little boys heading down the mine to start their further shortened life to a sad end with black lung or a cave in.
I read your profile....how cute is that grandbaby?!...and you don't read or sound like a man that can only get a woman who has no options or like the kind of a man who wants a woman who stays with him because you're better than nothing or staving or working the streets. Being independant means that you can take care of yourself so when you want to be with a man to share the joys and yes, the burdens, of each other's life it's because that man's special.
When a woman has options and she chooses you, well then you got something. Now tell the truth ,don't most Joe's worth having want to be chosen, loved and cherished as opposed for being settled for? | |
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| Independent Women
Posted: 8/27/2008 10:31:36 AM | I personally think "marriage" is the primary cause of divorce globally  
 kinda blows the fear of anyones "independence" outta the pic when relating to anyone. The guy on this end of the monitor luvs a woman to be "independent" personally.
Sometimes ya gotta break outta the mold!! Sometimes when a woman is in a "negative relationship" she'll find herself doing things she doesn't care to do only because she's been inherently loyal to a spouse and willing to be unhappy to make the other person happy . That kind of loyalty is "self-sacrifice" and a form of affection. Once out of a relationship where thats occurred; everything she does symbolizes a form of "independence".
The negative impacts of "independence" usually indicate to me that its sometimes mistaken for "revolution" . The only way to know which is the meaning used by its author is to ask them. Since I prefer to believe in the positive power of women; I lean towards a generalized interpretation that it means they've experienced a metamorphism; ie, "broke the mold", got their feet firmly underneath them and feel the power of being able to make it thru life by believing firmly in themselves. In that realm; I personally don't feel anything I have in my life can become a problem for them.
And I kinda like that idea that "independent" can mean they have the power to "choose" mentioned in this forum. Its very flattering. | |
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| Independent Women
Posted: 8/27/2008 12:42:25 PM | waterviewtoo,
Thankyou for the kind words about me and my grandbaby. She is the greatest, best gift that God and my daughter could have given me.
I am actually in the process of writing what I believe will be a best selling book dealing with why so many women don't get the romance they long for from their man. I won't get into that now, other than to say that a man must know that his woman respects him and thinks of him as a man (masculine). Being needed as a man is important to him. When she does so many things that indicate otherwise to him, she unfortunately reaps what she has sown. And the vicious cycle escalates.
I personally believe most marriages could be saved with the right intervention, willingness by both spouses to listen to each other, willingness to cut off outside interference and negativity from all sources that work to destroy their marriage love bond, commitment to and ability to overcome destructive behaviours such as substance addictions. Return to the first love relationship and build from there with honesty, affection and intimacy, communication involving speaking candidly and listening, and finally permanent commitment. It is hard to get the point across so briefly, but you can get the gist of some of the ingredients that I think are important for a successful relationship.
Yes, men have plenty of their own problems.
But in my book my goal is to educate and empower women to get the thing they long for most: their man's love, respect and romance.
Wesley Murphey | |
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| Independent Women
Posted: 8/28/2008 2:01:05 PM | Huntin'...I see what you are getting at....I also saw and understood what waterviewtoo had to say.
I think it takes some living and spiritual understanding to get to the place where men and women can just "be" without their defenses up and trying to prove themselves by use of control or fear of edifying coz it may make one seem "weak"...(which is weakness)
What a wonderful thing when two people love because not despite of...
What a wonderful thing to have two real loving partners adding too... giving of....and elated to see each other happy!
I do think women gave up more than what was originally intended by the woman's liberation movement...first of all it caused a vicious cycle of anger....Men threatened by a perceived ruining power, women angered by their anger of wanting to hold them back from voting and giving voice to their dreams, the feeling of "counting". This making them want to prove themselves more than ever!
Thing is, 1 + hundred years ago this country was based on, and widely followed Christian principles and values which where increasingly abused by both men and women....the few that lived happily were rare and the ones abusing decency, through their own selfishness, brought discourse.
Bad behavior by both sexes brought on what we have now. Also brought the emerging desire to get back to simpler times .... the "good ones"!
*sigh* | |
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| Independent Women
Posted: 8/29/2008 7:46:36 PM | Alrighty… I suppose I’ll take a crack at this “independent women” thread. Since I joined POF I have read some pretty interesting comments and after reading some pretty ugly, hurtful comments I found refuge in a forum “Old Souls” where I can express myself in my writing without being torn to shred for my opinion. This page has been pretty benign on the mean comments, so I’ll share a little of what I think about OP’s comment on being turned off by the term “independent woman”.
Plebayo said it well… very well done.. And I agree with her.
I don’t need a man to hold my hand to get through life but it would be nice to have someone to partner with.
My comment to OP (huntingals): Your profile states you are a Christian man with Christian values (and I appreciate this) and I see in other postings on other threads, that you have pulled out the Adam and Eve card reminding people of why women were created for man, and how women are to look thin and pleasing for their men’s eyes. (Remember what Woodstar said about the history tab underneath your profile? I researched some of your other opinions to see where you were coming from before posting this)
I realize after reading some of your comments back to your original post, Eve was created out of Adams rib, to stand next to him as a partner. But I wanted to come at this from a little different angle.
In the bible we have the Virtuous Wife in Proverbs 31 who “cares for her household” by rising early and providing food for her household, “and a portion for her maidservants”. She also “considers a field and buys it, and from her profit she plants a vineyard. She girds herself with strength”…. She does not “eat the bread of idleness”.
It also says she “opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness”
“she watches over the ways of her household”
It takes a pretty strong, independent woman with a man by her side to obtain this.
I don’t know about the rest of you, but I can’t afford “servants’. And while the bible states her worth is “far above rubies” , I’m sure she was able to obtain this with the help of servants who enabled her to be the independent business woman, and mother, wife, and seamstress etc. etc.. In other words Superwoman/mom/wife…..
On the personal side: After 25 years of strong, fundamental Christian belief, I had a crisis of sort with “the church”. When I was counseled to stay with my Christian husband who had given his life over to addictions. Was he unfaithful? Nooo… So I couldn’t biblically divorce him. Did he take care of us? Nooo.. I did.. And I took care of him and our three children for 15 years, while praying and hoping God would do a miracle.
When it became unsafe for us to stay I had to leave. And I lost many of my “Christian Friends” because they couldn’t in good conscious support me as a friend anymore if I was planning on divorcing my husband. Did he clean up his act after we divorced.? No, not until 3 years ago. Am I sorry I left? No. Do I hurt for my children and what this did to them? Daily a thousand times… yes.
Since our divorce 12 years ago, I have learned through trial and error that I can’t depend on a man to have my best interests at heart. And that’s dating Christian men. (go figure?)
I’m sure this opinion won’t be popular, but while I appreciate the feminist movement in getting women equal pay, rights etc.. I do not appreciate what it has done to emasculate some men. Being raised on a farm I learned early to appreciate a “mans man” and a man who works hard to provide for his family. And it seems our new society is creating men who expect their woman to take care of them. But we also have to take into account that anymore it does take two incomes to live anymore due to our declining economy.
Somewhere Op mentioned 100 yrs ago… divorce wasn’t as prevalent. But were people happier because of it? I don’t’ think so. Are people happier now because divorce is so easy? No I don’t think they are. Some people quit too easy. Others like me stay too long.
But on that note 100 yrs ago…..My mother is 79 and came from Oklahoma, leaving when she was 15 on a train to come to Oregon to obtain her high school diploma. Being the daughter of a share cropper with 7 bothers, her education didn’t matter, she had to stay home to help her mother do chores for the family. Women weren’t valued as co-partners, but more like hand maidens for men who cheated, lied, drank and beat their wives. Incest didn’t exist? Hardly it just wasn’t talked about. After all “Children were meant to be seen and not heard”. I could go on and on about this but this post is already to long.
If you want to come at this from a Christian point of view OP.. Women were not valued until Jesus came. There are cultural aspects we can delve into that affected this but there is a well known Christian writer Sue Monk Kidd who wrote a great book “The Dance of the Dissident Daughter” who’s book eloquently expresses how Christian tradition has served to keep women under men’s thumbs, instead of by their side as co-partners in this life the way God intended it to be in the first place.
For some reason I felt compelled to lay out my opinion though I have been trying not to contribute to many of the threads.. Because I hate conflict.. LOL..
On another note your grandbaby is beautiful, mine turns 4 next month.. They grow up so fast.
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| Independent Women
Posted: 8/29/2008 9:54:00 PM |  Thank you,CNL..
I met my Last Husband at a christian dance. He was the worse liar and abuser I have yet to meet...AND...he will be the last one.
I've had alot of thought to this post...I think our OP has already formed his opinion as he is "writing a book"...helping women understand what they are doing wrong.... ...give me a flying break!
Oh, Bless His Heart...may the Goddess have compassion on his little being...and may God have mercey on his soul.
Bless My Soul! | |
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| Independent Women
Posted: 8/30/2008 10:28:21 AM | Very well written about your experience, CNL.....I'm sorry you had such a rough time with the man you were married to.....thankfully it is not a general statement on all Christian men.
I personally know many wonderful Christian men who are either unavailable or not ready for a committed relationship...(the age group I'm interested in, already have things in their life that cause hesitation in that area.)
But I also do not believe that speaks for all and also still believe there are good and fair minded Christian men out there.
I would still prefer a Christian man.
As with anyone, asking for wisdom and discernment would help but I also remind myself that we are human and fallible. We are always taking a chance on people.
I think a long dating period is wise!
I am very pleased what you included from the bible reminders to men of the value of women! So many men sweep over this golden opinion from God!
Like I said,
Bad behavior by both sexes brought on what we have now. Also brought the emerging desire to get back to simpler times .... the "good ones"!
So many men are selfish and bullies....and so many women are selfish and cold.
It is going to be a tough road. But I personally know many who are making it!
I have a feeling Huntin' is getting some invaluable insight for his book? I hope so. | |
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| Independent Women
Posted: 8/30/2008 10:49:14 AM | Best kept secret, Like I said in my email to you, I wish you were close to me. I like the insight you have and the way you share it in such a non-confrontive way.
Remember that I can only speak from a man's perspective because last time I looked in the mirror I was one of them and not a woman. So, when a woman takes offense because I speak as a man, she is not keeping that fact in mind. I can't see it from her perspective. I can only try to understand where she is coming from. As a man, and I think I am representative of most men, it is often the way women, or our woman, communicates to us that is the problem. Yes "to" and not "with". Many communicate in a condescending (the she is smarter than he), or else an "I've been victimized by men," tone or frame of reference like Wordstar does in so many of her posts.
Yes, BKS, I am getting some good input for my book.
Why can't you move out to Oregon? That is a compliment.
My intent here never was to get women mad at me, but simply to bring out a few points from a candid man's position.
Wes | |
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| Independent Women
Posted: 8/30/2008 11:12:51 AM |
Why can't you move out to Oregon? That is a compliment.
Oooh....a threadmance! 
OK.....you come date me here, and we will see about me re-locating!  | |
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| Independent Women
Posted: 8/30/2008 11:53:56 AM | BKS: Thank you for you kind words, and yes It is difficult to find someone or commit to someone when you have had "water under the bridge" that causes "hesitation in that area" as you put it.
So many men are selfish and bullies....and so many women are selfish and cold.
It is going to be a tough road. But I personally know many who are making it!
I have a feeling Huntin' is getting some invaluable insight for his book? I hope so.
We have turned into an instant gratification society. I fear for our children and their children. I long for simpler times when I was raising a garden and canning/freezing food. Raising chickens and a Beef to butcher. Simpler times yes but it took hard work and time to accomplish all these things.
I am appalled when I overhear how the younger generation couples talk to each other. So much disrespect.
Remember: "the law of kindness is always on her tongue" It should be that way in general for society.
I hope I didn't sound confrontational that was not my intent. But I am a "cut to the chase gal" and being raised by a mother who always spoke her truth without consideration on how it must sound or how it would hurt someone, I have to be in check on my "tone" and the way I communicate things. It's great to say your peace, but it's how you say it that can be the problem, and I think that's one of the issues OP is talking about.
OP: [qoute] Many communicate in a condescending (the she is smarter than he), or else an "I've been victimized by men," tone or frame of reference like Wordstar does in so many of her posts.
Out of respect for women like Woodstar and myself and others who have been vitimized by men it is difficult to trust again. It is difficult to "put down the shield"
Many women have been beaten, raped, etc by their own husbands. These type of women will require a man with compassion who is willing to put her first and earn her trust. That's why honesty is so important when dating. Everyone should know what their getting into before they get into it.
I found an interesting quize on this site and checked it out. It's the "is he a keeper?" its one of those blue lines when you log on to your mail page and it's a quize that has many good and bad qualities to look for when dating someone... I was impressed with many of the questions which were about communication, putting the other person first, including them in activities with your friends. what he communicates to you and how.. Very interesting. If someone is interested in those questions and can't find them I cut and pasted them on word and saved them and I'd be happy to share.
I doubt I'll ever marry again because to a Christian mans point of view "I am damaged goods" I tried too many times. And that's okay with me, I have and am still learning to be content in whatever the circumstances God has me in.
Bottom line is I'm just finding my way like everyone else and still learning at the ripe old age of 54...
To find a man or a woman who is respectful, patient and kind is a gift. We are all gifts to the Creator, made in his image, however the world takes it's toll.
And as BKS said I bet your getting some really great info for your book. | |
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| Independent Women
Posted: 8/30/2008 2:09:10 PM |
I doubt I'll ever marry again because to a Christian mans point of view "I am damaged goods" I tried too many times. And that's okay with me, I have and am still learning to be content in whatever the circumstances God has me in.
Bottom line is I'm just finding my way like everyone else and still learning at the ripe old age of 54...
Oh, CNL....tell me you do not believe this, damaged goods thing......I don't know what church has put this idea in you head, but it's simply not true...if that were the case, we might as well pack up and go home!
We are to think of ourselves as loved, productive, valuable! What then are these Christian men that we are hoping to meet, who are no better than we in the Lords eye?
No, you are never damaged in our fathers eyes and I know it hurts him for us to feel that way. You have been through it, huh? Well, shame on him (ex) but you are precious in the eyes of God and he wants you happy so it will glorify Him!
He may be causing you to grow spiritually and that may be why these things happened to you, but he does want his children to be happy to show others what a child of God is about.
What a way you have with words! Maybe you should write a book too! ?
Maybe one day anyway....
To find a man or a woman who is respectful, patient and kind is a gift. We are all gifts to the Creator, made in his image, however the world takes it's toll.
Fight the latter on that statement with all you have, gf! | |
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| Independent Women
Posted: 8/31/2008 10:29:43 AM | I want me one of them there "independent" women. I want a woman with passion who will call me on my stuff. I want someone who can be my equal. I guess I'm a bit taken back by the original statements. With all respect, I think most of us in the left coast, at least Portland, are looking though a different set of glasses.
That said, I have a Christian background and have been spanked by the Bible Belt. I haven't thrown out the baby (Jesus) with the bath water, but I'm ready to have my traditional thoughts challenged. I do it every day myself. This last time around I am not looking for the barefoot and pregnant "help meet." | |
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| Independent Women
Posted: 8/31/2008 10:59:47 AM | I think there are relative terms for the description, "independent".
In the context of a strong, maverick, worrier soul...this is a very good thing.
In the context of a "bowl you over, inconsiderate feeling, out for themselves, I don't need anyone soul", it is a destructive thing.
That's what "dating" is for....to find out what kind of person one is and where their priorities are.
Each partner must edify and lift each other up....encouraging growth in each other and respect. This partnership brings together each other strengths for optimum joy!
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| Independent Women
Posted: 8/31/2008 2:01:57 PM | BKS:
I have really enjoyed your input and value it highly. Thanks for reminding me about my worth as a woman when I made the "damaged goods" comment...
Bonnie Raitt sings a song "three time loser" that may hinder some men from considering me as a good catch.. but then they never took the time to know me if it does.
I so appreciate 2adventurepdx comment
<div class="quote"> I want me one of them there "independent" women. I want a woman with passion who will call me on my stuff. Sweetie.. you made me laugh and laugh.. I loved it!!
and I really appreciate how you put it... "I've been spanked by the bible belt".. very well put!!
BKS:
<div class="quote"> In the context of a strong, maverick, worrier soul...this is a very good thing
your describing me to a tee.. ..
and 2adventurepdx.. there is something to be said about us westerners, we are a special breed all our own...
Ey.. I am a woman with a warrior spirit and soul,
it is in my poetry, it dwells within my heart
these survial skills I learned from my mother's warrior spirit.
Are we unkind to others?
Nay.. for the love of humanity and it's failings,
is forver branded on our souls
for we be but children of this earth
clothed in humbleness of spirit,
yet filled with the strength and fortitude
that brought our mothers and daughters to the west,
They fought the elements, flung side to side on wagon trains,
we are but pioneers in our own right walking side by side, with our men
Well you both inspired me so I hope you don't mind the little spontaneous poetry..
I can't help it... it's the writer in me..
and maybe I will write that book some day BKS... Big hugs to you  | |
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| Independent Women
Posted: 9/2/2008 10:03:03 AM | I just noticed that I mistakenly referred to WATERVIEWTOO with my thankyou to a compliment I was given and also regarding comments she had made. I meant all of those comments to WOODSTAR. Sorry about that. Good thing I wasn't writing a ticket.
Wes | |
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| Independent Women
Posted: 9/2/2008 10:08:13 AM | Today's not my day. Ever have those? Actually some of the comments were to Waterviewtoo. Doggonit, why do you gals both have to start with a W? I know it takes a real wizard to keep those titles apart. Maybe if one of you was called WATERBUFFALO I would have distinguished you better. Then again I imagine not too many woman want to be thought of like that.
Wes | |
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| Independent Women
Posted: 9/2/2008 1:57:33 PM | Ah, Wes...you are a human man! ((You're a good guy)
Yes, be carefull about referring to a woman as "waterbuffalo"...
CNL....we all have a along way to go to get to where we're going...and it may be as far from what we had in mind all along. But with our hearts in the right place, what a trip that will be!
I'd like to think I'll tell my children's children all about it!
BKS
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| Independent Women
Posted: 9/2/2008 9:01:32 PM | In reference to post 14 and post 22....
Have you been stalking me? Obviously not well enough. | |
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| Independent Women
Posted: 9/6/2008 3:35:29 PM |
I don't know about other guys, but when I see a woman use the term "independent" in her profile to describe herself, a red-flag goes up. "Independent" to me can mean that at some point she won't need the man anymore. Then it is easy to toss him out like a worthless shoe.
So, what you are saying is that unless a woman needs you for something, there's no reason she would want you around? Being kind of harsh on yourself, aren't you?
I don't "need" men. But, I like 'em. If I spend time with one it's not because I need him to take care of me or buy me stuff or fix my car or keep me company because I'm afraid to be alone. I'm with him because I like and respect him. I enjoy his company. I appreciate him as a person.
If you look at divorce statistics, 75 percent of divorces are filed by women. Why? I think it has to do with the above word. Thoughts? I can hear the women now. In fairness, I have had women tell me that women shouldn't be independent.
Hmmm.... if you're really planning on writing the next best seller you might want to check your statistics. According to The National Center for Health Statistics, 65% (not 75) of divorces are filed by women. In the 1970's just after No Fault divorce came into effect it was up around 71%.
Perhaps there are other factors besides "independence" which cause women to initiate divorce. I wonder if it has anything to do with:
1) Men tend to engage in physical violence in relationships more often than women
2) Men tend to engage in extramarital affairs more than women
3) Men tend to allow their careers to take precedence over the relationship.
Just a thought.
It is funny that there was a day over 100 years ago when divorce was rare. And women were happy. Of course women didn't work much outside the home then, and they couldn't vote. We have progressed since then.
Once again, you might want to do some research if you want to present yourself as the author of the next best selling book on relationships. According to the NCHS, in the mid-19th century, 65% of all divorces were initiated by women. Wow, just the same as today. Imagine that.
Women were obviously NOT happy with the way thing were, or else there wouldn't have been a Women's Suffrage Movement. You know, that little movement when all those uppity housewives decided to fight for a better life and the ability to think and determine for themselves rather than being dependent on men for everything?
If you prefer submissive women, then that's your thing, but please don't put down independent women as if there is something wrong with us or blame us for ruining relationships just because we want strong men.
Reading through your history of posts, I've noticed a disturbing trend. You told at least 3 (at last count) women what was wrong with the way the presented themselves, their habits and their bodies and then went on to suggest how they could fix themselves to be more attractive to you, telling them that there are "hundreds if not thousands" of other women they needed to compete with. Then, you went on to say that God made Eve with a hot body just to arouse Adam.
Personally, I find both those things highly offensive and misogynistic (and not the least bit "Christian.") Perhaps, rather than compiling a laundry list of complaints about women (which will chase them away much faster than their sense of "independence") you might think about showing your appreciation for women - as something other than a hot body and submissive personality. Worth a shot. | |
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