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 AUTHOR
 john_raymond21
Joined: 8/6/2008
Msg: 1
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The UnexpectedPage 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
It was our first date yesterday. We met on POF, decided to meet, went out and had some drinks and got tipsy, good conversation, hit it off well I thought. She invited me back to her place, and I accepted thinking we could continue getting
to know each other better. On first dates I like having hours of conversation with a woman just to get a feel for whats there, even if that means going back to her place or mine. So we get back to her place and talk some more for awhile. We're sittin on the couch in her living room. I get up to use the bathroom, come back and she is sitting on the couch naked on all fours facing me,clothes strewn over the floor,arms covering her breasts while she stares at me smiling. It was uncomfortable for me. I told her I wasn't interested that night, offered to get her a towel from the bathroom and started picking up her clothes all the while trying not to look at her gorgeous body. It was difficult to restrain myself because there was a tent building ... I know what happened next and will share it later on after getting the forum's input. What I want to know is how would you approach this? What would you have done? I did not want to come off as a guy who takes advantage of a tipsy girl and wake up regretting it the next morning. Plus I thought we were just going to chat, maybe cuddle some and call it a night. Maybe I was wrong. I like her, she is nice and all but it makes me wonder--how many other guys has she slept with on the first date? What should
I have done different? Did I do the right thing?
 40inPuyallup
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 2
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/23/2008 8:29:07 AM
Well I'm curious as to what did happen, and since I don't know you, I'm not going to speculate as to how the story ended. I had a very similar experience, and actually write about it in my profile. I'll just say this, hats off to you in two respects, one for wanting to genuinely take the time to get to know someone, and secondly, not taking advantage of an alcohol laddened environment. However, here's how you could have avoided the situation you got into. First date/meeting, don't go back to someones house or invite them to yours. Be classy, enjoy that first get together, focusing purely on getting to know someone and if all goes well, set up another meeting. Avoid getting tipsy/trashed and your better judgement will always prevail.
 nuttykitten
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 3
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/23/2008 8:51:33 AM
well u should have stuck to your guns really...lol
im not into sex on the first date, but i understand, that if it is offerd on a plate to you like that, its differcult to refuse.
maybe you shouldnt have gone to her place in the first place?
did u really think she onley wanted to chat?????

but- if u still like her...and why shouldnt you really, give her another chance, and dont make the same mistake on the second date.
if she trys the same thing, you have your answer.
 wiktor1985
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 4
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/23/2008 9:03:14 AM
wow, you are such a gentleman
 Heptone
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 5
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/23/2008 9:36:40 AM
The only time that happened to me -- or something similar enough -- the woman was screaming how I would regret this for this for the rest of my life if I walked out the door. Needless to say, I don't even remember her name and haven't lost much sleep over it -- come to think of it, not a wink.
Maybe this is why the brain and the balls are separated. But, of course, the only reason any of us is responding is we want to hear the rest of the story. I'm betting you let her down. Maybe we should start an office pool on it.
Ok. Five bucks says he got out alive. Any takers?
 spicynicegirl
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 6
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/23/2008 9:46:02 AM
So john raymond I want to know - were you a gentleman or not? If you weren't, then you have no right wondering or caring how many others she slept with on the first date. If you were a gentleman, why would you be wasting your time on a girl you have doubts about? Why are men so lame sometimes??????
 nuttykitten
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 7
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/23/2008 9:52:55 AM
you should have told the full story straight away, now we will never know if the ending is the truth or not....
 john_raymond21
Joined: 8/6/2008
Msg: 8
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/23/2008 9:53:00 AM
I helped her recover her clothes, she got dressed, we talked for a little while longer-both of us embarassed I think-and I left and went home. Haven't decided if I'm going to call her or not.
 ruckus123
Joined: 6/7/2005
Msg: 9
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First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/23/2008 10:15:13 AM
Why should it matter how many guys she's slept with on a first date?

Let's say she slept with 30 guys but never on a first date or let's say she slept with 30 guys and 12 of them on a first date or 30 guys and slept with all of them on a first date.

What's the differance? She's stll slept with 30 guys.
 kimmy_382b
Joined: 8/6/2008
Msg: 10
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/23/2008 10:23:40 AM
I recently had a first date with someone I met online and had phone coversations with several times. To start with, as a woman, I realize that alcohol loosens my inhibitions. Therefore, I only had one drink. Now, needless to say this guy was HOT. I knew if I drank too much or went back to his place, it was ON.. I chose not to put myself in a position where I would offer myself, or be tempted. I would suppose she planned on offering herself by inviting you to her place. I would also suppose the embarrassment on her part was from rejection, or reading the clues wrong. On the whole, I say the incident makes a general statement about her basic character. You should decide if that fits with you... Not that it's bad to have sex on the first date. Just if it matches your ideas of a match.
 ruckus123
Joined: 6/7/2005
Msg: 11
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First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/23/2008 10:29:46 AM
Sleeping with someone on a first date does not make one a slut in my Opinion.
 john_raymond21
Joined: 8/6/2008
Msg: 12
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/23/2008 10:36:59 AM
I wish I knew whether it was the alcohol influencing her or not. We both had some drinks, she preferred hard liquor while I had some beers. Maybe I'm being too harsh I don't know. Same goes for her basic character-was it the alcohol or was that her true character coming through?
 vulcanchin
Joined: 7/25/2008
Msg: 13
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/23/2008 10:41:44 AM
It must suck being homosexual!!!

Just kidding man!!! Thats a tough one!
 djsamdotbiz
Joined: 8/19/2007
Msg: 14
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/23/2008 10:44:52 AM
......decided to meet, went out and had some DRINKS and got tipsy....

Do you remember what was she drinking ?
I just want to know for research purposes.....
 ***blue***
Joined: 4/21/2008
Msg: 15
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/23/2008 10:54:48 AM
"Same goes for her basic character-was it the alcohol or was that her true character coming through?"

Well since your unsure why don't you see if she would be interested in a second date that didn't involve drinks to get tipsy on. Then you can see how she is sober.
 kayliecat
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 16
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First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/23/2008 10:55:43 AM
My opinion? I'm not a slut and I have limits and morals and stick to them pretty strongly.

I see nothing wrong w/sex on the first date if both parties are in agreement that that's what they want. Whether they've both done it 30 times or 1 time- that's b/t them and if they both consent, then who am I to judge or care?

Where she went wrong was assUming that you wanted sex or would just pounce on her.

I just can't imagine stripping nekkid on the first date unless we had already been getting into it hot and heavy and...quite frankly if he was helping me undress. NOT while he's off in the bathroom peeing.

To me that raises a big red flag b/c she obviously isn't using her noggin to read his signals or lack thereof.

And if I were a guy...that would be the reason I'd turn her down. Not because it's the first date, or because she is initiating. I mean, there's a way to initiate sex, and that ain't it!

Then again, maybe she figured by inviting him to her place - and his accepting - that she was letting him know she wanted sex adn figured he wanted it too or he wouldn't have come over. Maybe that has been her previous experience w/guys. *shrug* Who knows.

Kaylie
 TodaysCatch
Joined: 4/12/2008
Msg: 17
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First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/23/2008 11:02:27 AM
Let's see . . . on all fours, facing you. Was there a Twister mat on the floor?
 john_raymond21
Joined: 8/6/2008
Msg: 18
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/23/2008 11:03:33 AM
First a dry martini and then mudslides.
 namrael
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 19
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/23/2008 11:10:08 AM
Well, do you like her? Set this incident aside for a moment. If you really like her, and you wind up being compatible, this is an incident you'll laugh about weeks or months from now. If you weren't sure anyway, then maybe it's not worth it regardless.

I have to weigh in on the "What does it matter how many guys she's slept with on the first date?" side, though. If she's capable of being faithful in a relationship, isn't that far more important than her past? Getting STD tests is a good idea anyway, for both of you, and if there's nothing to worry about there, what's the problem?
 MY OH MY
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 20
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/23/2008 11:10:36 AM

She invited me back to her place, and I accepted thinking we could continue getting
to know each other better.

Geez, I don't understand why people don't understand the concept that a first date should not involve going to the other person's house. You should get to know each other in public. What would you have done if you would have come out and her husband would have been standing there with a gun pointed at you? You don't know someone unless you have spent time with them.

Instead of picking up her clothes, you should have just excused yourself and left.
 1sub
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 21
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/23/2008 11:19:19 AM
I question why a gentleman who is suggesting he wants a wholesome gal who would not offer herself up on the first date would initiate or agree to a first meeting in a bar or drinking establishment. I am also curious as to why you want to lead forum viewers to believe that perhaps there was sex after all. John, your profile says you don't drink. Hmmm. Alcohol decreases inhibitions and encourages risk behaviors. I suspect an educated fellow such as yourself would already know that. You are only giving us one side of the situation when we all know there are three. I do hope you were respectful enough to allow your "date" to leave the evening with her dignity.
 mdmak47
Joined: 7/7/2008
Msg: 22
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/23/2008 11:27:46 AM
well the way I see it is alcohol may make you lose some of your inhibitions but it dosen't make you do things you really don't wanna do. personally I would of had sex with her, defiantly. no question there.
 Dr.Manhattan
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 23
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/23/2008 11:32:09 AM
We're sittin on the couch in her living room. I get up to use the bathroom, come back and she is sitting on the couch naked on all fours facing me,clothes strewn over the floor,arms covering her breasts while she stares at me smiling. It was uncomfortable for me.


god I hate it when women think just because a guy has had a few drinks
she thinks they can take advantage of a guy because she has of course a gorgeous body.
 mogrl42
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 24
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First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/23/2008 11:43:00 AM

I wish I knew whether it was the alcohol influencing her or not. We both had some drinks, she preferred hard liquor while I had some beers. Maybe I'm being too harsh I don't know. Same goes for her basic character-was it the alcohol or was that her true character coming through?

Who cares what it was ??? Men always complain that women aren`t agressive enough when it comes to sex so one of them is and she is wrong?Maybe you aren`t just the right man for her?
 Dr.Manhattan
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 25
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/23/2008 11:45:01 AM
Who cares what it was ??? Men always complain that women aren`t agressive enough when it comes to sex so one of them is and she is wrong?Maybe you aren`t just the right man for her?


^^^^Ya!!!! maybe she would have like to gotten up went to the bathroom and it's you who would have been sitting on the couch naked cloths strewn on the floor smiling and covering your man boobies.
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