| Just Stop It!
Posted: 8/28/2008 7:06:51 AM | I'm writing this because I see too much of these types of remarks in womens profiles. Statements like "no games", "no liars", "looking for a real man", "no drama" Etc., believe me, I get it. You have been hurt by some unkind individual perhaps more than once in your life. But just some friendly advice, leave those kind of statements out of your profile. Although, you might be trying to ward off the bad guys, you are also turning off the good ones. When I read those statements in a profile, I hesitate to respond to it. There are two reasons why I hesitate . One, I don't see a positive message, and secondly, I feel like I'm always going to be apologizing to this women because she will perceive anything out of the ordinary as I'm all of the above statements. My advice would be to leave all those kind of statements out of your profile and if you think one us guys aren't being honest or real with you,dump them, and move on from that person.  | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 8/28/2008 8:24:41 AM | Well said bud! When I see comments like "looking for a REAL man" I interpret that as "I'm looking for a guy who will do everything I say, no questions asked." Sorry, not happening. I have never responded to a profile like that, nor will I ever.
P.S. I also sometimes think "Wait, there are fake men?" As in, they're real-life cartoons? LOL! Disney has taken it to another level. | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 8/28/2008 8:38:33 AM | I still think there should be a list made somewhere on here of the most trite and overused profile expressions and headers........ Because for every forum post from some annoyed woman on here trying to instruct us men on what to put on ours, it's always amazing to see that the 'smarter sex' is so.........well........um..........yeah.....whatever....
Number one on the list would be.......
"Looking for a Good Hearted Man"........ (if you have it on your profile....you might want to make note as to how uninspiring and unoriginal it has looked to the Good Hearted man you're actually trying to attract.....) It's funny how it's the 'example' heading that POF gives when first instructing you on how to write your profile. As I said......it's the EXAMPLE.....NOT the default....
or...HEY.....how bout THIS Golden, molden Oldie......
"Are there any honest men left?"
"Can you.....(insert whatever lofty request HERE)
examples.....'make me laugh'.....'keep up with me'........'do, do, and do for ME'.........
I won't even go into the 'drama', 'head game', 'playa' thing because it's already been covered......
And please....for the last time......I don't CARE what 'your friends would say'........Because the honest truth is.......your friends have probably stabbed you behind your back at least ONCE during the night you couldn't join them for a 'girls night out'........
Peace....... | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 8/28/2008 8:42:01 AM | | A guy always pays for the previous guys' screw ups, that's all there is to it. Ah, for that matter, it is also true the other way around. We all are screwed up in the head, some more than others. Not sure we need to advertise that though. | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 8/28/2008 8:44:57 AM | Hate to tell you this boys, but we see it on male profiles as well...and know what...all of us list it cause it's the only thing that we HOPE will control the jerks that always ignore that we're looking for long term or dating and end up moving in for the 1 night stand.
There's no control other than putting words in a profile...if you don't like it--move on. Most of the profiles I see, male or female, have loads in and are very positive and almost pleading with a reader not to bother them if they aren't looking for the same things.
JMO | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 8/28/2008 8:53:54 AM | ActTwo, it's not a knock on all women. Just the ones who put obvious, redundant quotes as their header or somewhere in their profile.
i.e.
"I'm a REAL woman looking for a REAL man." Christ, i'd bloody hope so. I wouldn't want to date a cartoon. | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 8/28/2008 9:17:30 AM | To be honest ... what CAN you put on a profile header that hasn't already been said a million times before?
Mine says "are you the real deal?"... by that I mean are you actually looking for what you say you're looking for, because trust me there are a lot out there that talk the talk but ride the fail whale in the execution = ) | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 8/28/2008 9:25:08 AM | I always instruct people to put positive stuff in their profiles. Also it's illogical to ask for the not negative. You might have to think about this one!
In any case, all relationships have risks. The key is to recognize them early on and move on. Unfortunately the world is filled with knotheads that refuse to use their brains along with their hearts when getting involved.
The Eagle | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 8/28/2008 9:25:48 AM | Funny.
I used to have on my profile a comment to the men regarding the same thing. It actually says more about the person putting it on their profile than it does the liars, cheaters and head game artists.
We get it. Try putting what you do want on your profile. That would be a step in the right direction. | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 8/28/2008 9:34:33 AM | | Yes, those types of comments are on MANY men's profiles also.......Really, what is the point in listing it? I sure do not know anyone who is looking for lying cheating scum players..... | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 8/28/2008 9:38:12 AM | See... I feel quite the opposite.
I'm GLAD people put these statements on their profile. It tells me loud and clear that the person has issues, and that I should stay well clear. I know what you're saying - the person is not helping themselves by having such negative content. But they are certainly helping all the potential fishes know what they might be getting into!!
As the saying goes, "People will show you who they are. Believe them the first time." | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 8/28/2008 9:56:41 AM | Hmmm and stating that you're looking for an honest man would, of course stop liars & cheaters from answering! | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 8/28/2008 10:07:38 AM | OP - I agree. I steer clear of profiles that have those types of statements as well and trust you me, there are plenty of men's profiles with the same crap. I think these people are probably full of drama themselves or are clearly going through life and not learning to screen bs early on. If you keep ending up in drama filled relationship, guess what, you're the common denominator. If you're still bitter and jaded from the last relationship, not dating material either.
As much as it annoys me to see negative phrases and just generally negative profiles, I should be thankful because they're doing the screening for me. | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 8/28/2008 10:22:40 AM | I, for one, agree with the guys..........and the gals!
When I see the 'no drama wanted' I always roll myeyes. GET REAL!!
Real people have real life problems...........good luck getting through life unscathed by drama! Sure, there are those who 'create' drama and that's a different thing entirely.
Those are usually the people who will never see themselves and how they are responsible for their drama anyway!
Seeking someone without issues is an epic fantasy. (Like in the movie, "As Good as it Gets', the line of dialogue where Helen hunt screams, why can't I just have a normal boyfriend??!! and her mother says, " It doesn't exist ")
We all have issues! The question is.......are you worth yours and will you find that my attributes far outweigh any issue I may have? Acceptance is key in relationship.
(I didn't create the death of my husband but drama came into my life regardless.)
Either we get better or we get bitter. Observation is the only way we can determine if the person is self-realized enough to move forward and deal with the joys, the sorrow, the triumphs and disappointments of life.
The last man I spoke to who said he wanted someone stable and without drama practically asked me for a financial report?? !! WTH?? (on a first phone call?)
Mr No Drama obviously has his issues too! (paranoia, controlling, delusional and materialistic!)
Of course, I can only testify to that of which I've seen and heard myself, the rest of it is assumption and I can't assume to know what is going on in a person's mind or life. We are all damaged goods, just to varying degrees.....
Unfortunately, we can't super-impose what we would do or write on headlines or profiles so we'll just have to put up with the redundancy of those who live in Never-Never Land!
Happy Fishing Everyone and a safe Holiday Weekend!  | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 8/28/2008 10:41:20 AM |
""I'm a REAL woman looking for a REAL man." Christ, i'd bloody hope so. I wouldn't want to date a cartoon."
Actually, I wouldn't complain if I got a date with "danger-prone" Daphne from Scooby-Doo.
I stand corrected
When I see those lame headlines/statements, they're usually on profiles of girls (in my area, that I know) who create a ton of drama. The two most notable ones I saw (won't mention usernames, that's rude) I thought "WHAT?! These girls create more drama and have such lousy attitudes, yet they want a REAL man with no drama and THEY are the ones tired of all the b.s.? Please!"
Anybody who puts any of the typical lousy statements in their profiles are usually people no one wants to date anyway, and they are usually the creators of the drama and b.s. They use their past relationships as an excuse to eff up their current one. There is understanding one's needs, and there is "get over yourself already." If you're looking for a REAL man/woman, step outside into the world, they're all around you. | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 8/28/2008 11:16:25 AM | aamen ,,,,,
you hit it right, if we are so perfact (no drama ,ect) why are we on the internet looking for a soul mate, and not in the real world with real poeple how can we expect what we cant give ourselves.doesnt that person deserve the same as us. we all have lint in our bellybuttons just some of us have enough to nit a blanket thats life .
I love what jack nickelson say to hellen hunt in the above mentioned movie when she asked him to pay her a compliment after he has just unintensionly insulted her several times he replies "you make me want to be a better man" before we can love someone else we have to love ourselves. | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 8/28/2008 11:21:53 AM | When I see stuff like that it gives me the feeling that I'm going to be perceived as such and have to walk on egg shells to get anywhere. One thing happens and get accused of being something you aren't.
It's not bad to say things like that in itself, but more often than not, when I've had an experience with someone like that, it's gone about that way. | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 8/28/2008 11:38:05 AM | | Some peoples profiles read like the Unibombers manifesto. I don't understand how they possibly think they will be attractive to anyone. | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 8/28/2008 11:53:06 AM | I have to disagree - why discourage people from posting negative BS like that on their profiles? - it's easier to identify who's carrying around WAY TOO MUCH BAGGAGE for the short trip we're on!
My thought is, post whatever you want, as long as it's true. Be yourself, and maybe you'll find someone who is just right for you.
Good luck! | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 8/28/2008 11:53:24 AM | "Some peoples profiles read like the Unibombers manifesto."
I don't care what anyone thinks, that is damn funny.............
Jim | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 8/28/2008 11:53:46 AM | I'll drink to that! (Hey! Aren't there some lil' beer mug clinking happy faces?!)
Like "No players" is going to discourage liars, users and other ne'er-do-wells. What we really need is some kind of spray on repellent. Oh wait! I think I have some! It's called pepper spray.  | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 8/28/2008 12:05:18 PM | Jimbo,
I agree TOTALLY!!!!!! 100%
Its SO PATHETIC when people put these kind of messages in a DATING profile? I mean Who the heck wants to talk to a woman OR a man saying such negative things?
It's like OKAY....we get you were hurt...GET OVER IT ALREADY!!!!
It really is so pathetic when people write these things...it just SCREAMS insecurity.
EVERYONE has been hurt before. So what? MOVE ON! Get over it! Life is too short to dwell thinking every man or woman is the same!
Ugh! | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 8/28/2008 12:31:22 PM | | There is no rule about people who use inane cliches in their profiles, but I believe there is one about people who use subject titles that give no hint about the the subject of the thread. | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 8/28/2008 12:40:22 PM | What cracks me up is that some men and women have patterns of choosing the wrong people and then they blame the opposite sex. What they need to do is take responsibility for their actions and who they pick.
I just read one post that a girl said she finally thinks her boyfriend cheated. She said that when she came to his apartment last night, and there was a used condom on the floor. He said that he masturbates with a condom on. LOL; now thats safe sex. lol SHE BELIEVED HIM!
Omg; there are tons of posts; when women especially are into someone they become stepford wives and will tolerate anything. Then its the next person that has to take the abuse.
We all should make right decisions, and take responsibility for them. We teach others how to treat us. | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 8/28/2008 12:41:12 PM | I agree with the "cliche".
Another popular one is women stating "no shirtless pics, no pics with cars",etc. I find it ironic that there are quite a few women on here that have pics in bikinis, standing beside a expensive car (sometimes in their bikini's!). What a double standard...
But my all time favorite..."no pic no reply" yet that person doesnt have a pic herself!
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