| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 8/30/2008 4:40:28 PM | | how do you guys feel when your woman tells you she had lot's of casual sex and f-buddies before you met? [70-100] what if you know several of the from your life growing up? what if you know too many details? is there such a thing? can you still grow old together, sit on a rocking chair holding her hand and feel "ok"? do you ever feel emabarrased knowing so many other guys just knew her as easy? just wondering, not self pitying. would most like to hear from guys IN this kind of situation, not bashers. do you ever obsess on it even though you do not want to? | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 8/30/2008 4:59:21 PM | I figure if she's with me instead of them, that's all that needs to be said. If she's survived to this point in her life disease free, all I see is a person who knows what she wants and is careful about getting it. I certainly wouldn't pry for details, I'd be comfortable with whatever she wanted to share.
(You might try sharing these feelings with your love, and soon, because it sounds like you're starting to obsess. It doesn't take too long before YOUR feelings on the issue get so strong that you can't talk about it anymore, and that's a bad road to take...) | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 8/30/2008 5:33:26 PM | I'd probably want to ask if I could see the videos.
(large sigh).
Someones past sex life is NOT my concern.
I personally think it's just a ego thing.
Most guys can't handle the fact that their gf had more partners than them.
If a guy only been with half a dozen women (long term relationships) and the gf had about 50 one-nite stands, it going to f*ck with a lot guys head.
Long story short. It would not bother ME one single iota. | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 8/30/2008 5:36:43 PM | | I knew a girl regarded as easy way back then. In retrospect, she was loving and affectionate and somewhat more in tune with her sex drive than the rest of us. It would be interesting to know her now and see where her head is. I thought the world of her then, but our paths diverged, and I have lost track of her. Hopefully, the guy that was lucky enough to land her appreciates her for her many wonderful qualities and does not obsess on those jealousy issues. | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 8/30/2008 5:59:46 PM | OP you obviously are very insecure, So insecure in fact that you felt the need to ask this woman about her past. Not only ask but wanted her to go into details( whom and when kind of thing) how utterly silly. Now you're going to drive yourself crazy thinking about it. Remember , don't ever ask a question that might bring you back an honest answer you don't like. Somethings from the past, are better left in the past.
I am afraid your relationship is now doomed. It's obvious that it's eating away and you and you will never be able to get over it. I wonder how many women have you slept with in the past, And does this girl really gives a rats ass about that.
Break up with her and go find a virgin, That's the only way you will ever be secure, Too bad you're expecting something from your partner you're not able to bring to the relationship yourself...PURITY.
The first line of your profile says "I am open minded" ....Was that an attempt at humor? because an open minded person would not be asking this question in the forums. | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 8/30/2008 7:43:07 PM | The last relationship I was in was with a woman who had many more sexual partners than I've ever had. It was along the order of 10 to 1, she being a couple of years younger than I and we still kept by each other's side for the better part of two years without straying.
While we can focus on our demons and manufacture all sorts of wicked fantasies to fuel our insecurity, I decided that whatever or whomever my partner had had sex with in the past was a non-issue. Strive to live in the present moment, for it is the only one which you will truly have the ability to affect. If in this moment you trust that your partner loves you, that is all that matters.
Regardless of sexual history, I would bestow this advice upon anyone: Understand and accept that your partner may not be there tomorrow, and be ready to set them free, because you love them. If it is an unselfish love, you will understand that your partner needs to do what they need to do for their own happiness. You should want for their happiness more than you want for your togetherness. It can be tough to wrap one's head around, but if we're really talkin' about love here (not codependency), it's the only way to go. | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 8/30/2008 8:08:26 PM | Pixy, that is a great way to look at it. I am assuming that 5 mates a year is ok.... So, what if she started at 15? Only 4 per year. so on and so on. Who determines when too many is well, too many mates in one year? Or in 25 years? Should we all be keeping scores on our mates "past" sexual habits? Maybe we should create a spreadsheet to determine the varied positions, rooms conquered, or if she is a mile high card carrier?
Now that I think about it, I never had 5 mates per year... Do I have to make up for the lack thereof? Should I get out there and start a F*&% fest and make up for lost woo woo?
Not sure but I now feel somewhat inept.
Not sure wher I am going with this but at the end of the day it is her past and you delved into it by asking her. Perhaps you should have been better prepared for the answer. I love hearing about past experiences and see where I rate in the sex-o-meter. I set my goal by the ole rating scale. You know, from 1 to 10 where am i in the woo woo department.
Truly, life is way too short for this issue.... | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 8/30/2008 8:14:15 PM | I'm divided on this.
On one hand... I haven't "been around" much... so it's kind of intimidating, and, depending on how "casual" she's been sexually, I find it difficult to think that I could feel "special."
However... I've had feelings for a few people that had plenty of casual relationships... and, surprise, surprise... it didn't really change my thoughts about the person. | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 8/30/2008 8:37:25 PM | I don't know... I think that it can also be more than mere insecurity about what you've had. I think it can also be insecurity for what you HAVE. What I mean to say is that a lot of us view sex as something "special" ... and have a hard time reconciling numbers with "special."
As I said earlier... this doesn't usually enter into the equation for me once I have any sort of feelings for someone, but it does add to some questioning in the relationship... and some insecurity about the relationship. (I.e. the statistical likelihood that you're "the best" in some ways...)
I just chalk it up to the fact that people are different. | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 8/30/2008 10:06:23 PM | | When it became " okay" to have 70-100 partners is when STDs became an epidemic. It used to be 7-10 was considered a lot when I was growing up and I'm not that old (35 almost). If you're the kind of guy that doesn't mind being with a woman that's been easy then don't worry about it and pray you don't get a blood test back one day that makes you regret it. I'll never understand wanting to keep what everybody else has easily gotten and not wanted for themselves, but maybe it's just me that's different. | |
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