| The Most Functional Word in the English Language
Posted: 8/31/2008 12:44:08 PM | Well, it's shit ... that's right, shit!
Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.
You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit,
and tell others to eat shit.
Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference
between shit and shineola.
There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits. There is bull shit, horse shit, and chicken shit.
You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot the shit, or duck when the shit hits the fan.
You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.
You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.
Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit,
and some days are just plain shitty.
Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times when you feel like shit.
You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit or a lot of weird shit.
You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.
Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.
When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of the English language.
And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else!!
You could pass this along, if you give a shit; or not do so if you don't give a shit!
Well, Shit, it's time for me to go. Just wanted you to know that I do give a shit and hope you have a nice day, without a bunch of shit. But, if you happened to catch a load of shit from some shit-head...........
Well...................... Shit Happens!!!
Now I sent this to my older brother who's a retired school teacher and HE says the most functional English word is "it".
Think about "it".
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| The Most Functional Word in the English Language
Posted: 8/31/2008 1:39:27 PM | | I thought the most functional word in the English language was fuck. Fuck can be a noun, verb, adjective, adverb - you name it. Very handy, much more handy than shit. | |
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| The Most Functional Word in the English Language
Posted: 9/2/2008 1:05:44 PM | I thought the most functional word in the English language was fvck. Fvck can be a noun, verb, adjective, adverb - you name it. Very handy, much more handy than shit.
I think it's a regional thing.. In the northeast the word "fvck" is just another everyday word used several ways.. as mentioned. Whereas, in the southeast "sh!t", although it can also be used in the same context as "fvck", is a kinder gentler word.  | |
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| The Most Functional Word in the English Language
Posted: 10/8/2008 7:57:54 PM | I have this on a T-shirt:
RELIGIONS OF THE WORLD
Taoism: Shit Happens.
Hare Krishna: Shit Happens Rama Rama Ding Ding.
Hinduism: This Shit Happened Before.
Islam: If Shit Happens, Take A Hostage.
Zen: What Is The Sound Of Shit Happening?
Buddhism: When Shit Happens, Is It Really Shit?
Confucianism: Confucius Say, "Shit Happens."
7th Day Adventist: Shit Happens On Saturdays.
Protestanism: Shit Won't Happen If I Work Harder.
Catholicism: If Shit Happens, I Deserve It.
Jehovah's Witness: Knock, Knock, "Shit Happens."
Unitarian: What Is This Shit?
Mormon: Shit Happens Again & Again & Again.
Judaism: Why Does This Shit Always Happen To Us?
Rastafarianism: Let's Smoke This Shit.
And some additions:
Southern Baptist: Send Us Money And Shit Won't Happen.
Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
Hedonism: There's nothing like a good shit happening.
Moonies: Would You Like To Buy Some Shit?
Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
Zoroastrianism: Shit only happens half the time.
Christian Science: That shit is in your mind.
Environmentalism: You produce shit, so you have to eat it.
Socialism: Sorry, we are out of shit today.
Feminism: That's not funny!
Atheism: There is no shit.
Atheism: Can you believe this shit?
Communism: This shit belongs to everyone.
Born-Again Christians: Let's spread this shit everywhere.
And a personal note from me: If you don't believe this shit, you're going to Hell.
So there.
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